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'\\>LrLA  A^Xl-Xfr-u  r 

BV    4225 

.B41    1866 

Beecher , 

Henry  Ward,    1813- 

1887. 

Shelf. 

595   pulp 

it   pungencies 

fTT^c^-^^^ 


Pulpit    iungencies 


5  9  5 


1   ULPIT    1   UNGENCIES 


TABLE  OF   CONTENTS 


•^ 


New   York  : 
Carleton^  Publisher ^  413   Broadway, 


M  DCCC  LXVI 


Entered  according  to  A61  of  Congress,  m  the  year  1866,  by 

GEO.  W.  CARLETON, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  Distria  Court  of  the  United  States,  for 

the  Southern  Distri<5t  of  New  York. 


The  New  York  Printing  Compamy, 

81,  83,  and  8s  Centre  Street, 

New    York. 


CONTENTS 


Is  he  all  right  ? 


No.  of  Pungency 

Preface 
A.—"  Well,"  says  God, 

A  and  B 

Knew  what  He  was  About     . 
About  the  lightest      .... 
Sit  on  the  edge  of  my  Abundance 
Up  hill  every  single  step  from  Adam 
Admonished  by  God 

8  Ado  about  the  sprinklings  and  drenchings 

9  Advice  and  hail-stones 

10  Spiritual  vs.  stomachic  Ailment 

1 1  Ain't  as  good  as  he  is 

12  Air-holes 

13  Fed  on  Anxieties 

14  Is  Anxious  a  baker  ? 
1.5  As  if  he  wasn't  Anybody 

16  Anybody  can  sing  hymns 

17  Not  a  Httle  Ape  of  a  man 

18  Stewart's  and  Appleton's 

19  We  should  Approve  Him 

20  The  two  Arms  of  God   . 

21  Arms-length  discourses 


Page 

25 

27 
28 
28 
29 
29 
29 
Z^ 
30 
31 
31 
32 
32 
32 
33 
33 
ZZ 
34 
35 
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35 
36 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

22  Mobs  God's  providential  Asses      .         .  36 

23  Auger  and  hammer  men     ....  36 

24  Double  fools,  like  the  Austrian  eagle     .  37 

25  God  Available 37 

26  Wherever  a  devil,  a  priest  to  Back  him  y] 

27  Professors  of  religion  like   Backgammon 

boards 38 

28  Shaken  up  in  a  Bag 38 

29  He  is  not  half  Baked  ;  he  is  dough  !       .  39 

30  Ballooning  to  Heaven         ....  40 

31  Balloons,  gas  and  faith   ....  40 

32  Bandage  their  eyes  with  their  mouths        .  41 

33  Flour  and  John  the  Baptist     ...  41 

34  The  old  year  a  Basin         ....  42 

35  A  Basket  with  holes        ....  43 

36  Like  Basket-makers  do  their  slips     .         .  43 

37  The  Bastard  offspring     ....  44 

38  Ought  to  take  trouble  as  he  would  a  Bath  44 

39  Cold  Bathing  for  the  salacious  devil        .  45 

40  Bean-men 46 

41  His  Beast,  his  own  body         ...  46 

42  Men  like  Beasts  in  menageries  ...  47 

43  Going  to  Bed  a  Christian        ...  47 

44  You  hadn't  Better  jump      ....  48 

45  The  Bible  a  mere  commentary        .         .  48 

46  Chestnuts  and  Bible  truths         ...  48 

47  Christ  making  out  Bills  of  insurance      .  49 

48  Religious  Biographies  pernicious  and  lying  49 

49  Bipedal  brutes         .....  50 

50  Black  sounds      ......  50 

51  Never  Blacked  his  boots  on  Sunday       .  51 

52  In  Blessed  extravagance    ....  51 

6 


Contents 


No.  of  Pungency 

Page 

53  War  a  Blister  plaster      .... 

52 

54  Blown  out  before  you  are  half  burned 

52 

55  Bogus  religion 

52 

56  Take  their  old  Bones  and  stand  in  the  way 

sz 

57  Well  Born  when  first  born 

54 

58  Any  amount  of  Botanical  sincerity     . 

54 

59  Up  and  down  and  out  Both  ways   . 

55 

60  Top  and  Bottom 

55 

61   Lift  up  the  Bottom  charitably 

56 

62  Bow  rigged  with  the  passions     . 

57 

(>2i  The  most  Boy  in  him      .... 

57 

64  Boys  of  all  ages 

SI 

65  Bread  and  butter 

58 

d^i  Breaking  in 

58 

67  Breaks  up  into  all  manner  of  antics  . 

58 

68  Only  room  to  take  Breath 

59 

69  Broad-leaved  experience 

60 

70  Spirits  Broken 

60 

71   Children  are  Bulbs          .... 

61 

72  God  coming  down  to  Burrow 

61 

'j-^  Busy  do-nothings 

62 

74  But  and  if,  hell-gates 

62 

75  But  then 

62 

76  I  should  Button  up  my  pocket   .        .         . 

63 

'j'j  Big  as  a  stage-driver's  Button 

^?> 

78  Religion  to  be  set  Buzzing 

64 

79  A  world  of  Buzzing         .... 

64 

80  Careful  Cannon-ball 

^S 

81   Catholic    Church— Used    to     bear    good 

apples 

65 

82  Chaff  farmers 

66 

83  The  Chamber  floor       .... 

7 

66 

Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

84  Charging  up  before  the  throne  of  God     .  66 

85  It  is  as  Cheap  to  trust  as  to  fret   .         .  67 

86  God  doesn't  promise  to  sign  our  Check  .  67 

87  No  harm  in  Checkers  or  backgammon  67 

88  A  trowel  better  than  a  Chip  ...  68 

89  God  never  said  "  Chisel"           ...  68 

90  Getting  out  stone  with  a  lead  Chisel     .  69 

91  Nearer  Christ  than  you  are  a  great  deal !  .  70 

92  Chrysalis  men 71 

93  You  can  tell  what  Church  he  belongs  to  72 

94  The  Church  vs.  God's  kingdom    .        .  72 

95  A  Church  for  hell 72 

96  Trusting  a  Church  member  ...  72 

97  A  devil  wouldn't  be  a  Circumstance         .  TS 

98  Cleansed  by  her  way  of  hving       .         .  'j^ 

99  God's  providence  never  weaves  Cloth  .  74 
100  Parental  anxiety  Clucking  all  the  day  long  74 
loi  What  a  Coarse  book  this  Bible  is     .        .75 

102  No  Coaxing  grass  to  grow    ...  75 

103  Cobwebbing  the  other— "My  dear"     .  'jd 

104  Infinite  Cobwebs '^^ 

105  So  He  would — of  Cockles        ...  76 

106  The  devil's  Colporteurs        ...  TJ 

107  Eat  with  Color  and  sleep  with  Color        .  78 

108  That's  Coming  it 78 

109  Every  man  not  a  Commentator         .         .  79 
no  Compromise — You   must  give  up,  for   I 

can't 79 

111  Would  Compromise  on  $100,000      .         .  80 

112  Coney  Island  water-logs        ...  80 

113  Too  much  Conscience  .         .         .         .  81 

1 14  Snow,  Conservative  rain  ....  81 

8 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

115  Wares  Contraband  to  heaven  .        .        .81 

116  Copyists  and  dogs          ....  82 

117  I  always  Cotton  to  the  rich       ...  82 

118  New  York  Courts          ....  82 

119  One  winter  to  Crack  the  shell  .         .         .  83 

120  Hot- water  on  a  Cracked  friendship       .  83 

1 2 1  Crawl  out  of  hfe 84 

122  Crazy  in  his  pocket        ....  84 

123  With  all  Creation  at  his  back  !          .         .  85 

124  God's  letter  of  Credit             ...  85 

125  As  though  the  thing  were  Cross-ploughed  85 

126  Taken  later,  it  makes  men  Crusty    .        .  86 

127  Reading  prayers — walking  with  Crutches  86 

128  What  should  be  the  Cutwater?         .         .  86 

129  Cypher  both  ways          ....  87 

130  CjT^herings  for  salvation  ....  87 

131  Every  church  wants  somebody  to  Damn  !  88 

132  They  never  would  say  "Damn  it !  "          .  88 

133  I  will  tell  you  all  what  you  will  get,  and 

that  is  Damnation  !   .         .         .         .  88 

134  Dandhng  troubles 88 

135  Don't  be  angry  by  the  Day  ...  89 

136  Day  of  Judgment  words  ....  89 

137  Dead  a  third  of  the  time  you  are  alive.  90 

138  As  I  do  the  Devil 90 

139  Devil-duped  and  Devil-damned     .         .  90 

140  Perpendicular  ideas — Devil-talk       .         .  91 

141  If  you  want  to  retire,  Die         ...  91 

142  "  I  don't  want  to  eat  Dirt "  ...  92 

143  Dirty  sin  and  burnished  iniquity       .         .  92 

144  I  have  my  Dividend  of  God's  care        .  92 

145  When  I  Do  religion,  I  Do  religion  .        .  93 

9 


Contents 


No.  of  Pungency 

146  $1,000  a  day 

147  Down-hill  duties 

148  The  way  to  God  is  Down  hill 

149  Dozing,  dozing,  dozing 

150  Swears  with  a  strong  Draft  . 

151  Drawing  deep  . 

152  This  a  Drill  world 

153  Drizzling  indignation 

154  A  Drug  in  the  market  . 

155  Leads  down  to  Drunk 

156  Dry  cards      .... 

157  Dry — Split  up  into  cord  wood 

158  Dumb  book  and  Dumb  house 

159  Roll  over  on  the  Dung-hill  of  vice 

160  Rankly  as  weeds  on  a  Dung-hill 

161  Edifying 

162  Mean  as  a  religious  Editor  . 

1 63  Childhood  is  but  an  Egg  . 

164  The  Egg  and  the  bird  . 

165  Egg-sanctified  .... 

166  God  not  Emasculate 

167  Men  hate  to  be  Emptied  . 

168  End  for  End 

169  The  other  End  and  this  End    . 

170  Christ  not  only  a  royal  Engineer 

171  How  to  Enjoy  sickness     . 

172  Christ's  arms  like  an  Equator 

173  That  "Especially"  was  dead  long  ago 

174  Pitched  out  of  the  Establishment 

175  Expatriation 

176  An  Exquisite  lie   . 

177  Fat  to  the  very  marrow    . 

10 


Pa-e 

94 

95 

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loi 

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105 

106 

106 

107 

107 

107 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

178  Father  and  mother  ride  with  them        .         108 

179  Mr.  Fat-soul  the  topmost  man 

180  The  old,  stupid  Fellow . 

181  Fellows  afraid  to  say  their  soul  is  their 

own 

182  Temporary  Ferriage 

183  The  lobby — Gratitude  will  Fetch  him 

184  Infernal  sprites  to  Fiddle  for  them 

185  Stealing  Fire-wood  .... 

186  Fishing,  and  revival  preaching      . 

187  The  Flap  of  whose  tongue 

188  Their  country's  Fleece 

189  Well,  who  were  all  these  Folks  ? 

190  Solomon  on  a  Fool's  errand 

191  As  a  boy  would  roll  a  Foot-ball 

192  Phrenology  and  Foot-room   . 

193  God  won't  see  to  the  Fore  part  of  the 

store      

194  Your  Friends  can  .... 

195  Fringed  him  with  abundant  Httleness 

196  Smooth  down  the  Fur  . 

197  Furiously  devotional 

198  Cuts  his  first  Furrows  of  grace     . 

199  The  devil's  Furrows 

200  I  have  seen  a  great  deal  of  Gambling  . 

201  God  never  shoots   unless  there  is  good 

Game 

202  Gate 

203  He  Gave  it  to  them,  didn't  he  t 

204  Here  and  Georgia 

205  God  could  not  Get  along  without  it . 

206  Not  able  to  Get  up  a  prayer         .        .         126 

II 


108 
109 

no 
no 
III 
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115 
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117 

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122 
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125 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

207  Heads  high  as  a  Gibbet   .        .        .        .126 

208  Gingerbread  books        .        .        .        .         126 

209  You  be  Glad,  too 127 

210  I'll  Go  for  justice 127 

211  Not  to  give  them  the  Go-by    .        .        .     128 

212  "  God  damn  you  ! "        ....         128 

213  Wonder  what  God  would  do    .        .        .129 

214  Neither  he  nor  God  knows  .        .        .         129 

215  God-hood  grows 129 

216  God-light  is  healthy      .         .        .        .         130 

217  Take  hold  of  God's  hand         .         .         .130 

218  Long  Gods  and  short  Gods  .         .        .         131 

219  The  place  where  property  Goes  up  .         .     131 

220  Good  nature  not  to  be  occasional         .         132 

221  Has  Got  to  work  for  it     .         .        .         .132 

222  Parasites   saying    Grandiloquent    things 

around  the  throne      .        .        .        .         132 

223  Such  a  Great  fool 133 

224  Horace  Greeley 133 

225  The  world  a  Grindstone — God  turns        .     134 

226  I  Guess  you'll  know  how  to  a6t    .         .         134 

227  Wrapped  in  Gummed  hideousness  .         .135 

228  Spoiled  in  the  Gun-range      .         .         .         135 

229  Tie  you  to  the  Handle      .         .        .        .135 

230  Don't  let  your  anger  Hang  on       .        .         136 

231  Hangers-on  play  mosquito  and  steal  blood 

for  a  living 136 

232  The  Harnessed  man      .        .        .        .         136 

233  Hatcheling  the  disposition       .        .        .137 

234  Hatted  and  gloved        .        .        .        .         137 

235  You  Have  me  there 137 

236  Health  and  the  devil     .        .        .        .         138 


Contents 


No.  of  Pungency 

237  Healthy  blood  vs.  Christianity 

238  Down  at  the  Heel  .... 

239  The  curtain  falls,  and— Hell  knows  the 

rest 

240  I  thank  God  there  is  a  Hell ! 

241  A  roistering,  swearing  HeUian 

242  Need  not  advertise  in  the  Herald 

243  Lacks  spring  Here    .... 

244  Sing  psalms  in  solo  from  Here  to  heaven 

245  One  likes  stimulants  there,  another  Here 

246  If  you  are  going  to  sin,  be  Heroic 

247  Hideous 

248  Carried  his  own  head  so  High 

249  It  has  got  to  be  High  times      . 

250  A  Hit  in  the  nick  of  time      . 

251  Why,  they  must  Hitch  !    . 

252  Laws  hke  Hoes     . 

253  Is  thy  servant  a  Hog  ! 

254  Holy  Ghost  not  merely  No.  3 

255  God  so  busy,  like  a  boy  driving  a 

256  Not  yet  Hopped  out      . 

257  An  insurrection  in  a  Hospital  . 

258  To  every  man  his  own  Hull . 

259  Church  Hyenas 

260  I — A  sermon-fed  child  . 

261  I — Such  doctrines  not  meant  for  daily  use 

262  I — Not  do  it  out  of  comphment  to  Christ 

263  I— 19  were  women,  and  the  other  nothing 

264  I — The  school-ma'am       .... 

265  I — Orthodox  and  heterodox  sleeping    . 

266  The  clock  and  I 

267  I  try  to  pray  that  down 

13 


Hoop 


Page 
138 
139 

139 
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140 
142 
143 
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144 
146 
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146 
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149 
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156 

158 
158 
159 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

268  I — Bullet  wouldn't  go  for  me  as  it  would 

for  other  people          .         .         .         .  159 

269  I  never  get  drunk  myself .         .         .         .160 

270  I  have  got  no  collection  to  make  .        .  160 

271  I — Swearing  among  women      .         .         .  161 

272  Icebergs  and  churches .        .        .        .  161 

273  "  I'll  watch  him" 162 

274  Infidelly          .         .         .         .         .         .  162 

275  Enough  to  have  the  devil  Inoculate  them  163 

276  Sunday  the  Insurance  day         .         .         .  163 

277  Investments  in  the  lower  way  of  living  164 

278  The  doctrine  for  Investments       .        .  165 

279  The  Irish 165 

280  Has  got  It  in  him           .         .         ,         .  166 

281  Jackal  engravers 166 

282  Nothing  but  a  Jack-knife       .         .         ^  168 

283  Jacob  and  not  Esau 169 

284  In  their  own  Jail 169 

285  Push  aside  the  ordinary  Janitor        .         .169 

286  The  devil  invented  Journals           .         .  171 

287  Juicy  in  their  intellect       .         .         .         .171 

288  What  a  Jumbled  up  mess  !    .         .         .  171 

289  $200,000 — All  the  angels,  and  an  impar- 

tial Jury 172 

290  Just  what  God  did         .         .         .         .  173 

291  Kick  back,  and  hurt  him  .         .         .         .173 

292  Kicks  you  into  the  bosom  of  God's  Pro- 

vidence         174 

293  Religion  runs  clear  down  to  the  Kitchen  .  175 

294  If  you  Knock,  you  will  not  get  in          .  176 

295  You'll  know  it 176 

296  Knowledgeable  men       .                .        .  177 

14 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

297  A  man  who  Knows  more  than  God  does  .     177 

298  The  testament  in  Labor         .         .         .         178 

299  God  has  Laid  in  material  .         .         .179 

300  Won't  come  together  and  Lap       .         .         179 

301  God's  glory  and  human  Laziness      .         .180 

302  You  are  empty  because  you  Leak  all  over     180 

303  Thou  honest  Legal  thief!      .         .         .         182 

304  Legerdemain  and  logic     .         .         .        ,182 

305  Takes  one,  and  Lets  it  fly     .         .         .         183 

306  Limber-backed 184 

307  A  Limited  hint  of  grace         .         .         .         184 

308  Empty  bags — Men  born  Limpsy      .         .185 

309  Loathsome  lubricity  of  pious  talk  .         185 

310  Locked  himself  out 186 

311  The  devil  Longer-headed  than  you       .         186 

312  It's  his  own  Look-out       .         .         .         .186 

313  I  Love  you 187 

314  High  growing  and  Low-hoeing         .         .     187 

315  Lunge  toward  things  outward        .         .         188 

316  He  might  as  well  be  Maelzel's  automaton     189 

317  A  town  Magazine  of  children  .         .         .189 

318  Practices  a  Manly  reserve     .         .         .         190 

319  Slip  out  of  him  like  Marbles  out  of  a 

tumbler 191 

320  As  to  that  Matter,  I  might    .         .         .  192 

321  Measure  their  whole  length      .        .  .     193 

322  Husband  and  wife — Statues  of  Memnon  193 

323  The  Menagerie  of  your  soul          .         .  193 

324  Mercies  are  Merchandise         .         .  .194 

325  Nothing  so  Merchantable      .         .         .  194 

326  Better  Mind  their  own  business        .  .     195 

327  "O,  never  Mind"          ....  195 

15 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

328  Miracles  are  midwives      ....     195 

329  Hit  or  Miss,  and  oftener  Miss      ,        .         196 

330  Wouldn't  Miss  much        .         .         .         .196 

331  Missionary  pirates         .         «         .         .         197 

332  Selling  a  Mocking-bird     .         .         .         .197 

333  A  Moping  Christian      ....         197 

334  Mother  Rice — That  would  shut  him  up   .     198 

335  Mousing,  sneaking  Pharisees         .         .         199 

336  Wait  till  the  Mud  is  dry  ....     200 
2iyj  Preaching — children  making  Mud  huts        200 

338  Mummies 201 

339  Mummy 202 

340  The  Bible  and  Murray's  Guide-Book  .  202 

341  Men  are  harps,  not  Music-boxes      .        .  204 

342  God  the  best  Music-teacher  .        .  204 

.  204 

205 
.  205 

206 
.  206 

209 
.  210 

211 


343  Covering  Nakedness 

344  No  devil — Namby-pamby  talk 

345  Men  and  Needles 

346  Going  through  a  Nettle-hedge 

347  Troubled  with  Neuralgia 

348  Perpetual  Newnesses    . 

349  A  Nimrod  minister  . 

350  No  great  rise 

351  No  special  injury 211 

352  Men  have  such  Notions  now-a-days     .        211 

353  Novels  contain  better  Gospel  than  many 

pulpits 212 

354  Hoeing  in  November    ....         213 

355  A  Nursing  God 213 

356  Spelt  with  one  O 214 

357  God  will  OiTset 215 

358  Keep  suppHed  with  the  Oil  of  grace    .        215 

16 


Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

359  Made  On  purpose 216 

360  Opium  and  the  Bible     .         .         .         .  216 

361  Other  arrangements 217 

362  Overflowing  the  king's  English     .         .  217 

363  Overlays 218 

364  "  The  world  Owes  us  a  living"      .         .  218 

365  When  God  wanted  sponges  and  Oysters  219 

366  Carrying  God's  Packages  and  letters  to 

eternity 219 

367  A  new  set  of  Papers     ....  220 

368  The  Parade-ground  of  revivals        .         .  220 

369  The  Partnership  law  of  New  York       .  220 

370  Passions  to  be  san6lified,  not  crucified    .  221 

371  On  a  large  Pasture-ground   .         .         .  221 

372  Paul  might  have  made  a  mistake  in  buy- 

ing that  cloak 222 

yj-}^  Chirping  "  Peace"          ....  222 

374  Prayer-meetings — Apples  with  the    Peel 

on 223 

375  Perambulate  in  pantaloons    .         .         .  223 

376  Prayers  worn   smooth — Perfunctory  ser- 

vice          224 

377  A  Perpendicular  Yes  or  a  Perpendicular 

No 225 

378  A  Philosopher 225 

379  Conscience  and  Pianos          .        .        .  226 

380  Fruits  for  God  to  Pick      ....  226 

381  Not  a  little  Piddling  justice's  court       .  227 

382  Roll  his  Pile 227 

383  A  Pismire  on  one  of  the  pyramids        .  227 

384  Takes  you  by  the  shoulders  and  Pitches 

you  on  the  bed 228 

17 


Contents 


No.  of  Pungency 

385  The  Plaster  of  an  office 

386  Pleasure  and  damnation  . 

387  Plump  up  to  Peter 

388  Pocket-full  antl  Pocket-empty  . 

389  A  villain  or  a  Politician 

390  The  disciples  were  such  Poor  fellows 

391  Pulling  papers  out  of  God's  Portfolio 

392  The  Portholes  of  the  stomach  . 

393  Natural  laws  and  Post-offices 

394  Good  to  make  the  Pot  boil 

395  Writing  sermons  instead  of  Preaching 

396  Premium  on  the  road  to  hell 

397  A  Prescriptive  right  to  lie 

398  Pretty  low 

399  Have  to  give  me  up  again  Pretty  quick 

400  Prodigious  logical  springs     . 

401  A  good  Property       .... 

402  Prophecies  like  music  to  an  army 

403  Proud  as  the  devil     .... 

404  Providence  with  clear  heads 

405  Can  put  his  Prow  into  life 

406  Pulverized  children 

407  Only  the  Punctuation  of  their  wealth 

408  A  want  of  Push     .... 

409  Whatever  God  Put  through  them    . 

410  More  than  all  the  rest  Put  together 

411  Old  Put 

412  Rammed  into  us    .... 

413  Ran  his  head  against  authority 

414  God's  providence  vs.  strong  Regiments 

415  The  Remainders  of  the  Church    . 

416  God's  Remittances    .... 

18 


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Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Vz.%Q. 

417  Suppose  it  is  your  Rent        .         .         .         244 

418  Rented  furniture  and  opinions.         .         .     244 

419  Sin  in  Repenting 244 

420  A  Reservoir-man 245 

421  Retired 245 

422  Faintly  Revealed  at  that  .        .         .         .245 

423  Revolving  graces 246 

424  Right  between  the  joints  of  the  harness   .     246 

425  A  Right  up  and  down  sort  of  a  fellow  .         246 

426  A  Rip  may  destroy  him    ....     247 

427  Hot-house  for  Ripening  Souls       .         .         248 

428  Converting  men  just  like  Ripening  grapes     248 

429  God  Rocks  it  with  his  foot        .         .         .248 

430  Single-bladed  men— Rodgers'  knives    .         249 

431  30  Rooms  in  a  man's  head        .         .         .     249 

432  For  a  man  to  Roost  on  .        .         .         250 

433  Rothschild  and  Moses      .         .         .         .250 

434  Half- Rotten  apples  and  Christians         .         251 

435  A  Royal  family  fight         .        .        .         -251 

436  A  God  to  Rub  up  the  stars  .        .        .         252 

437  Got  a  Saint 252 

438  Prayer  vs.  Satan 252 

439  Satan  impossible 253 

440  An  old  Scotch  preacher        .        .         .  253 

441  Men  don't  like  to  be  Screwed  up     .         .253 

442  Business  leaks  at  every  Seam       .        .  254 

443  Selvage  of  goodness         ....  254 
/\j\\   It  gives  a  Set 254 

445  If  manhood  Sets  too  quick       .         .  .     255 

446  The  responsibility  of  a  Shadow    .  .         255 

447  God  Shakes  the  conceit  out  of  them  .     255 

448  Shaking  hands  a  means  of  grace  .  .         256 

19 


Contents 


they 


No.  of  Pungency 

449  -"^  contented  live  man  is  a  Sham  !     . 

450  Sharp-eyed  and  bat-eyed 

451  Shifdess  Christians  .... 

452  Christ  putting  Shingles  on  the  roof 

453  Short  off  in  the  middle     . 

454  Fretted  and  stewed  and  Simmered  . 

455  Sing   Sing   is  asking  "When   will 

come  ? " 

456  To  Sit  in  our  minds  w-ith  the  windows 

open 

457  There  is  a  way  through  the  Skin 
45 S  All  Skin  and  poUsh 

459  Bom  Sleazy       .... 

460  A  Slippen,-  Christian     . 

461  Remarkably  Smart   . 

462  Near  enough  to  Smell  heaven 

463  Only  one  Smouch     . 

464  Everj-body  kicks  Sober  ones 

465  Their  old  Soddy  lives 

466  Sold  the  worid  in  the  bargain 

467  Solomoncuh      .... 

468  Spigots  vs.  bunghole     . 

469  We  should  grow  up  long  and  Spindling  . 

470  Sticks  plentier  than  men — SpHcing  men 

471  Sprout 

472  God's  Spy-glass 

473  A  great  thing  to  Squeak  at  ever}-  joint . 

474  We  hear  the  \-iclims  Squeal     . 

475  Stand-up  way  of  fighting 

476  It  Stands  to  reason 

477  Sta\-ing  off  judgment  now  and  then  !    . 

478  God  is  Steering  them  !     .        .        .        . 

20 


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Contents 

No.  of  Pungency  Page 

479  ^^<i  ^^"^  Stuped  out  .        ,        .        .        270 

480  Christians  with  a  long  Stem     . 

481  Men  with  long  polished  Stems 

482  Let  him  Stew  himself 

483  Churches  Stick  in  the  sheath 

484  Meanness  Sticks      .... 

485  The  De\-il  a  disordered  Stomach  . 

486  No  prayer-meeting  hke  a  man's  own  Store 

487  Not  a  good  String    .... 

488  Not  do  a  Stroke 

489  Frogs,  lice  and  all — Eugene  Sue 

490  Girts  and  Surcingles  for  the  heart 

491  Sweet-juiced  feelings 

492  Whipped  Syllabub  of  creation 

493  The  old  Synagogue  business  over  again 

494  Tail-feather  hes 

495  Blood  ^\-ill  TeU  .... 

496  Never  took  a  Text  out  of  the  Bible 

497  Thin,  lathy  men        .... 

498  A  good  Thing 

499  A  queer  Thing  .... 

500  A  safe  Thing 

501  The  Thing 

502  The  other  Thing 

503  The  substantial  Thing 

504  The  ver}'  Thing  itself  .... 

505  Such  hke  Things       .... 

506  Thinking  out  of  our  windows 

507  36  hours  out  of  the  24      .        .        . 

508  They  will  behind  your  back,  Though    . 

509  Throwing  in  even  the  prophets 

510  By  feeling  a  Thump      ....        286 

21 


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275 
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282 
283 
283 
284 
2S4 
285 
285 
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Contents 


No.  of  Pungency  Page' 

5 1 1  Equal  Thwacks 287 

512  Present  his  Ticket        ....  287 

513  The  right  Ticket 288 

514  Tied  too  tight 289 

515  Pra6lical  Tilth  in  the  church     .         .         .  289 

516  Chara6ler  and  Timber  .         .         .         .  290 

517  All  Timber  may  be  broken       .         .         .  290 

518  What  a  Time  ! 291 

519  For  all  the  world  like  a  Tin  pan  !     .        .291 

520  Torpid  as  a  Toad           ....  292 

521  A  Toad-stool  just  as  good !      .        .        .  292 

522  Geological  Toads  and  rich  men     .        .  293 

523  Too  bad 294 

524  Nobody's  Tooth  can  ache  like  theirs    .  294 

525  The  Top  of  the  family  is  in  the  cradle  295 

526  Drilled  into  and  never  Touched  water     .  296 

527  Made  Tough  and  made  tender     .        .  296 

528  The  Toughness  of  a  woman     .         .         .  297 

529  The  original  Tow           ....  297 

530  Raphael's  Transfiguration         .         .         .  297 

531  Different  Translations  ....  299 

532  Tremendously  governed  ....  299 

533  Trip-hammer  life 300 

534  You  had  better  Trot  down        .        .        .  300 

535  Trust  and  gas — Moonshine  and  prosperity  301 

536  Try  it  on 301 

537  Tug-boat  men 302 

538  Tump  you  out  into  the  street         .         .  302 

539  Pride  and  vanity  must  be  Tuned  up         .  303 

540  Turn  to  and  go  to  cursing  Providence  .  304 

541  On  the  Turnpike  road       ....  305 

542  Just  as  the  clock  struck  12   .        .        .  305 

22     - 


Contents 


No.  of  Pungency  Page 

543  $20,000 306 

544  Till  Twilight 306 

545  A  Twilight-faced,  bat-like  Christian         .  307 

546  Dudley  Tyng  and  Christ       ...  30/ 

547  "  Umbrella,"  or  "  Harvest,"  or  something 

of  that  sort Z'^7 

548  Under-draining 308 

549  You  have  got  to  go  Unfixed     .         .         .  308 

550  Always  w^anted  Union,  you  know          ,  309 

551  Unions 310 

552  Up-and-down  love        .        .         *         .  310 

553  The  Upper  story 310 

554  Better  not  prophesy  Up-stream     .         .  311 

555  Us  Repubhcans 311 

556  Varnish  religion— Tra6t  Society  .         .  312 

557  Sunlight  with  Vegetables          ,        .         .  313 

558  Men  good  for  Veneering       .         .         .  313 

559  Vermin 'Z^i'.  brethren  .         .         .         .313 

560  Passions  and  Vermin    .         .         .         .  314 

561  Virginian  courage  and  foxes'  tails    .         .  314 

562  Power-loom  ought  to  Vote     .         .         .  316 

563  When  men  Walk  on  a  timber  .         .         .316 

564  From  Wall  Street  to  heaven         .         .  317 

565  Wardrobe  of  righteousness      .         .         .317 

566  I'll  Warrant  you 317 

567  Saints  before  they  had  Washed  a  year     .  318 

568  Trouble  Washes  all  skins  alike    .         .  319 

569  Washington  and  respectable  meannesses  319 

570  The  eternal  Waste-basket        .        .        .  320 

571  A  Watch  to  steer  a  ship  by  .         .         .  320 

572  Water-logged  saints          ....  320 

573  You  are  Water-logged,  sir  !  .        .        .  321 

23 


Contents 

No.  of  Pnngency  Page 

574  These  smooth,  Wax\- characters      .        .321 

575  God  Went  into  life        ...         .  322 

576  Form,  color  and  WTiat  not        .         .         .  322 

577  Pray  and  be  burned,  and  WTiat  not      .  323 

578  What  under  the  sun  did  he  preach  about  ?  323 

579  God  does  not  Whip  men   through  their 

coat  and  vest 324 

580  Walk  me  and  Whisk  me  and  set  me  down  325 

581  Whether  the  President  drinks  Whiskey  325 

582  Black  and  Wliite  ....       ^.  326 
5S3  Where  it  will  make  you  Wince        .        .  327 

584  All  their  \-irtue  at  the  Window     .         .  327 
5S5  Wipe  their  mouths,  say  long  prayers,  etc.  328 

586  So  easy — Paints  to  Wipe  out  .        .         .  328 

587  How  like  little  Witches  they  act  .         .  329 

585  Even  your  pastor  Won't  ....  329 

589  Agitations,  plo^\-ings  of  the  World-farm  330 

590  The  Vermicular  human  race          .        .  330 

591  Worn  as  your  eyes  are  worn    .         .         .331 

592  The  Worse  the  better  .         .        .         .  331 

593  Wrap  a  text  round  a  sin  .        .         .        .  332 

594  Written  down  an  ass     ....  332 

595  Zero 332 


24 


PREFACE 


I  THINK  that  the  minister  of  God  has 
carte  blaiiche  Uberty  to  touch  men's 
mirthfulness,  even,  so  far  as  by  so  doing  he 
can  help  them  toward  the  right  and  away 
from  the  wrong.  And  I  regard  all  this  su- 
perstitious, unsmiUng  Christianity  as  a  relic 
of  the  old  Vandal  times. — Eve7iing  Sermo7i, 
yajiuary  8,  i860. 


I 


have  never  sous^ht  to  make  vou  lauo^h 

for  the  sake  of  merriment.     I   should 

have  a  loathing  contempt  of  myself  if  I  had 

made  it  a  part  of  my  business  to   peddle 

25 


Preface 

witticisms  from  the  pulpit.  But  when,  in 
the  eager  rush  of  thought,  an  opportunity 
for  making  a  bright  stroke  has  presented 
itself,  I  have  struck,  and  struck  boldly, 
without  any  care  as  to  whether  mirth  would 
be  excited  in  my  hearers  or  not ;  and  I  will 
do  it  again !  There  is  no  part  of  man's 
nature  that  is  not  an  open,  fair  mark. — 
Evening  Sermmty  January  8,  1 860. 


26 


'7/ 


PULPIT 


PUNGENCIES 


SOME  men  seem  to  think  that  the 
Divine  Being  has  different  quahties 
of  mercies  arranged,  as  apothecaries'  medi- 
cines are,  on  shelves  ;  and  that  the  angels 
report  to  Him  the  condition  of  men,  and  He 
administers  to  their  wants  according  to  His 
judgment.  Their  idea  of  the  way  in  which 
He  bestows  His  blessings  is  something  like 
this  :  An  angel  reports  to  Him  that  there 
is  a  mortal  praying  for  Divine  aid,  and  He 
says,  "Who  is  it?"  The  angel  replies,  "It 
is  A  ;  he  wants  such  and  such  a  blessing." 
"Well,"  says  God,  "what  is  his  condition.? 
Is  his  case  one  of  need } 
27 


Is  he  all  right  t 


"Well," 

says  God, 

" Is   he  aU 

right?" 


I  Pulpit  Pu7tgencies  3 

Has  he  done  for  himself  up  to  pretty  much 
the  right  point  ? "  If  the  repHes  of  the  angel 
to  these  last  inquiries  are  in  the  affirmative, 
God  says,  "In  that  case  I  will  help  him  ;" 
so  He  reaches  up  and  takes  such  a  grace  as 
is  needed,  and  says,  "  Hand  it  down  to  the 
man." — Morning  Sermon,  ynly  3,  1859. 

n^HERE  are  thousands  of  men  that  seem 
A  and  E  -J-  ^^  rcjoicc  in  nothing  else  half  so  much 
as  iniquity.  The  moment  they  hear  the 
serv^ant  of  the  devil  asking,  "  Have  you 
heard  the  news  about  A  and  B  .? "  they  say, 
''  What  is  it }  Sit  down  and  tell  it  to  me  ; " 
and  it  is  so  relishable  to  reveal,  and  so  ex- 
quisite to  hear,  that  A  and  B  have  been 
doing  wrong,  and  have  been  found  out  in 
that  wrong,  that  they  fairly  gloat  over  it ! 
This  is  the  very  spirit  of  the  devil  himself. 
— Morning  Sermon,  Angus t  7,   1859. 


EN  have  despised  the  body  too  much, 

wh^nrwas  ^^ ^     but  after  all,  when  God  made  the 

body.  He  knew  what  He  was  -Si^QvX.—Even- 


M 

body, 

ing  Sermon,  ynly  17,  1859. 


28 


I 


Pulpit  Pungencies  6 

T  is  said  that  an  unhelped  cross  is  the 
heaviest  thing  a  man  ever  carried  ;  but  ^vhJls?® 


a  Christ  touched  cross  is  about  the  hghtest 
thing  a  man  ever  carried. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, Sept  em  ber  2^,  i  S  5  9. 


H 


OW   devoid   of    anything    hke    true 
Christian  aspiration  must  that  man 


Sit  on 


be,  who  says,  **  I  will  build  up  my  power  *^of  m^® 
above  that  of  other  men  ;  I  will  possess 
myself  of  more  intelledtual  strength  than 
other  men  possess  ;  I  will  be  more  influen- 
tial than  other  men  ;  I  will  make  myself  so 
large  a  heritage  that  I  can  retire  out  of  life  ; 
and  when  I  get  where  other  men  cannot 
bother  me  any  longer,  I  mean  to  sit  on  the 
edge  of  my  abundance,  like  a  bird  on  its 
nest,  and  sing  songs  of  joy." — Morning  Ser- 
mo?t,  May  8,  1859. 


T  T  /"HAT  word  did  Adam  ever  speak,  or 

^  *       what  manly  thing  did  he  ever  per-  sjn^Je^ep 
form,    before    or    after   his   fall,   that   was  ^^^^^^"^ 
29 


6  Pulpit  Pungencies  8 

thought  worthy  of  a  record?  He  has  a 
name  in  the  Bible  and  that  is  all.  His 
name  is  coupled  with  one  event,  and  that  is 
all.  Besides  that  his  life  seems  to  have 
been  barren,  and  worth  not  one  word  of  re- 
cognition. Such  was  the  man  who  is  sup- 
posed to  have  been  perfe6l,  and  from  whom 
the  whole  race  have  descended.  The  race 
has  come  up  hill  every  single  step  from  the 
day  of  Adam  to  this  ! — Morning  Sermony 
March  ii,  i860. 


'nr^HERE  are  periods  of  children's  lives 
Admonished    ^       whcu  wc  are  admonished  by  God,  I 
^    ""      think,  to  employ  corporeal  chastisement. — 
Evening  Sermon,  February  26,  i860. 


I 


T   is    not   particularly   agreeable   to  be 

rained  upon ;  and  yet,  what  if  a  man, 

being  caught  in  a  shower  while  on  his  way 

sS-hikiings  to  visit  a  friend,  should  say,   "  Oh,  what  an 

drenJhings  unfortuuate  circumstance  !  Oh,  my  raiment ! 

Oh,  my  skin  ! "   and  what  if  arriving  at  his 

friend's  house  no   more  drenched  in  body 

than  in  mind,  he  should  say,    "A  sad  ca- 

^o 


8  Pulpit  Punge7icies  lo 

lamity  has  befallen  me.  I  am  in  great 
trouble.  I  have  met  with  a  serious  misfor- 
tune!" Why,  everybody  would  laugh  at  abc^tV 
him,  except  the  host ;  he  might  refrain  ^^"and"^^ 
from  laughing,  from  politeness  ;  but  every 
child,  and  every  servant,  and  all  the  rest  of 
the  household,  would  be  convulsed  with 
laughter.  And  I  suppose  the  angels  have 
abundant  occupation  to  laugh  at  us,  when 
they  see  what  an  ado  we  make  about  the 
sprinklings  and  drenchings  that  we  receive 
in  the  showers  which  God  sends  upon  us 
in  the  shape  of  trials  and  sufferings.  God's 
sons  ought  to  be  heroes. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, yanuary  15,  i860. 

A  DVICE    to    unwilUng    men     is    like 
-^^-     hail-stones  on  slate  roofs  ;  it  strikes       ^T 
and  rattles  and  rolls  down  and  does  them 
no    good.  —  Evening   Sermon,   March   18, 
i860. 

THERE  is  much  that  is  called  spiritual 
Spiritual 
ailment  that  is  nothing  but  stomachic       ^s- , . 

^  stomachic 

dAlm^nX..— Evening  Sermon,  May  8,  1839.         ^^™'°' 
31 


II  Pulpit  Pungencies  13 


w 


Air-holes 


HEN  they  go  to  your  funeral,  and 
the  minister  makes  a  saint  of  you, 

Ain't  as        ,  ,  . 

good      they  won  t  be  so  nidecent  as  to  launch  there  : 

as  he  IS  o  ^ 

but  they  say  when  they  get  home,  "  I  guess 
you  and  I  are  safe  if  he  is.  The  minister 
sent  him  right  straight  to  heaven,  you  see. 
If  we  ain't  as  good  as  he  is,  it's  a  pity." — 
Morning  Sermon,  March  27,  1859. 

A  /TEN  use  rehgion  just  as  they  use 
^^ ^  buoys  and  Hfe-preservers  ;  they  do 
not  intend  to  navigate  the  vessel  with  them, 
but  they  keep  just  enough  of  them  on  hand 
to  float  into  a  safe  harbor  when  the  storm 
comes  up  and  the  vessel  is  shipwrecked  ; 
and  it  is  only  then  that  they  intend  to  use 
them.  I  tell  you,  you  will  find  air-holes  in 
all  such  life-preservers  as  that. — Evening 
Sermony  yune  12,  1859. 


I    HAVE  known  women,  saintly  in  other 
Anxieties  rcspccts,  to  Walk  forty  years  as  it  were 

girded  with  sackcloth,  on  account  of  antici- 
patory troubles  in  respe6l  to  their  children. 
It  seemed  as  if  they  fed  each  child,  in  its 
32 


13  Pulpit  Pungencies  t6 

turn,  on  their  own  anxieties,  all  the  way  up 
from  infancy  to  mature  life. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, August  14,  1859. 

"  OUPPOSE  the  last  loaf  is  baked  and 

^  eaten,  and  the  crumbs  are  eaten,  is  Anxious 
am  I  then  to  trust  in  God  ?"  What  better  ^^"-^"^ 
can  you  do  ?  If  you  do  not  know  where 
the  next  loaf  is  to  come  from,  what  will  you 
do  ?  Going  to  be  anxious,  are  you  ?  What 
good  will  that  do  ?  Is  Anxious  a  baker  that 
he  will  bring  you  bread  ? — Morning  Sennoji, 
April  10,  1859. 

'^^  7  HERE  I  hear   young   men   saying, 

^^       ''Look   at  the  strong  men!    they    As  if  he 
are   the   men   who   have    money ;    a   man   Anybody 
that  hasn't  money  is  knocked  and  kicked 
about  the  world  as  if  he  wasn't  anybody," 
I   give  them  over. — Morning  Sermon,  May 
8,  1859. 


T  OOK  about  you  and  see  what  the  fruits 
-■-^  of  your  life  are,  if  you  want  to  know 
whether  you  are  a  Christian  or  not.     If  you 


Anybody 


can 


sing  hymns 


1 6  Pulpit  Pu7tgencies  i8 

want  to  know  whether  there  are  chestnuts 
on  a  tree  or  not,  you  look  on  the  ground, 
and  if  you  find  any  there,  you  know  there 
are  more  where  they  came  from.  Go  and 
see  where  the  fruit  of  your  Christianity  is. 
It  isn't  in  your  hynms — anybody  can  sing 
hymns  ;  it  isn't  in  your  prayers — any  man 
can  make  prayers. — Morning  Sermon^  Au- 
gnst  7,  1859- 


M 


Not 
little  Ape 


AKE  the  bridge  from  the  cradle  to 
manhood  just  as  long  as  you  can. 
Leave  your  child  a  child  just  as  long  as  you 
of  a  man  ^^^-^ — cspccially  if  you  live  in  a  city.  Be 
not  in  haste  to  force  your  child  into  prema- 
ture development  by  intelligence  or  by  any- 
thing else.  Let  it  be  a  child  and  not  a 
little  ape  of  a  man  running  about  the 
town. — Evening  Sermon,  February  26,  i860. 

THE  clerk  in  the  dry-goods  store  has 
an  encyclopaedia  on  his  shelves  ;    if 
he  will  trace  back  the  fabrics  to  the  country 
from  whence  they  came ;   if  he  will  learn 
of  the  soil,   the  people,   and  of  their  his- 
34 


Stewart's 


1 8  Pulpit  Pungencies  20 

tory ;  the  processes  of  machinery  by  which 
the  fabric  was  construaed,  and  a  thousand 
things  that  suggest  themselves  to  the  mind, 
there  is  more  than  he  could  learn  in  a 
lifetime  in  a  store  of  dry  goods  even.  If 
all  the  knowledge  that  could  be  obtained 
from  the  dry  goods  in  Stewart's  store  were 
searched  out,  Appleton's  book-store  would  ^^^f^'J^ 
not  hold  the  books  that  would  have  to  be 
written.  But  if  the  clerk  stands  behind  S^asheYs 
the  counter  all  day,  and  sees  in  them 
only  so  many  dry  goods,  they  are  not  half 
so  dry  as  he  is. — Evening  Sermon,  May  8, 
1859. 

TO  love  and  obey  Him,  it  is  necessary 
that   we  should  approve  Him,   and  we^j';°;^d 
that  our  moral  nature  should  go  out  strongly 
in  favor  of  Him. — Evening  Sermon,  October 
23,  1859. 


Him 


A 


SERVICE  done  to  a  fellow  being  is    ^hetwo 
a  service  done  to  God.     And  that  is 


the  democracy  of  the  Old  and  the  New  Tes- 
tament.   These  are  the  two  arms  of  God,  by 
35 


20  Pulpit    Pungencies  23 

which  the  world  is  brought  to  His  bosom. — 
Morning  Sermon,  June  19,  1859. 

WE  cannot  approach  at  these  arms- 
discourses  length  discourses  to  that  familiar 
wisdom  that  brings  information  home  to 
the  very  spot  and  point  where  it  is  needed 
by  individual  chara6ler,  as  the  father  and 
mother  do  at  the  nightly  fireside. — Evening 
Sermon,  May  8,  1859. 

I    think  mobs  are  God's  providential  asses 
providential  which  Hc  makcs  harrow  up  the  ground 

"^^^^^  in  time  of  seed-sowing  ;  and  I  think  there 
is  no  other  means  by  which  a  plentiful  har- 
vest is  more  effe(5lually  insured.  I  am 
sorry  for  any  State  that  never  had  any 
mobs.  I  beheve  New  Jersey  never  had 
one. — Morning  Sermon,  March  27,  1859. 

OR,  if  men  possess  great  executive  ca- 
hammer  pacity,  and,  like  an  auger,  can  bore 

the  toughest  oak ;  or,  like  a  chisel — cold  al- 
ways— can  cut  the  toughest  metals  ;  or, 
like  a  hammer,  hard-faced,  can  break  the 

36 


men 


23  Pulpit   Pungencies  26 

hardest  rocks,  they  think  of  themselves  as 
being  accompUshers.  "  I  am  the  man  that 
can  achieve ! "  is  the  thought  which  occu- 
pies their  mind  when  they  measure  them- 
selves.— Morning  Sermoft,  November  27, 
1859. 

THERE  are  thousands  of  persons  that 
are  doing  but  little  in  the  present,     j^^^^^ 
and  nothing  for  the  future,  who  are  always  thT  double 

,  .  Austrian 

looking  back  upon  the  past,  and  saymg,  eagie 
"  Oh,  if  I  had  done  so  and  so  ! "  or,  "  Oh, 
if  I  had  not  done  so  and  so  ! "  And  thus 
they  make  themselves  double  fools,  like  the 
double  Austrian  eagle  ! — Morning  Sermon, 
yuly  24,  1859. 

NOW  God  is  available  for  just  such  in-      God 
•  spiration  as  this. — Morning  Sermon^ 
yuly  10,  1859. 

THERE  is  no  vice  which  old  Rome  ever 
,  •    1       1  Wherever 

knew,  there  is  scarcely  a  wickedness      adevii, 

_        a  priest 

ever  pra6liced  on  earth  that  is  not  legalized  to  Back  him 
in  our  own  land.    And  that  is  not  the  worst ; 
2>7 


26  Pulpit   Pungencies  28 

wherever  there  is  a  devil,  there  is  a  priest 
to  back  him. — Evening  Sermon,  May  15, 
1859. 


I    THINK  a  great  many  professors  of  re- 
^.uic^^ux^.  ligion  are  just  hke  backgammon  boards. 

of  religion 

like       They  look  like  stately  books ;  and  on  the 

Backgam-  -^  ...  . 

mon  boards  back  of  them  is  inscribed,  in  large  letters, 
"  History  of  England,"  or  "  History  of  the 
Crusades;"  but  when  you  open  them  you 
find  nothing  but  emptiness,  with  the  excep- 
tion of  the  dice  and  counters.  And  many 
men  bear  the  name  "Christian,"  who  are 
inside  all  emptiness  and  rattling  nothing. — 
Evening  Sermon,  February  10,  i860. 


IT  would  seem  as  if  men  had  been  shaken 
up  in  a  great  bag,  and  rolled  out  into 
a  Bag  ^]^g  various  spheres  of  life,  without  regard 
tQ  their  qualification  or  fitness.  One  man, 
who  should  have  been  a  scholar,  finds  him- 
self shoving  the  spade.  Another  man,  who 
was  ordained  to  be  a  mechanic,  finds  him- 

38 


28  Pulpit   Ptcngencies  29 

self  a  preacher.  Another  man  finds  himself 
a  lawyer ;  he  is  not  at  all  adapted  to  this 
profession — he  is  an  upright,  and  honest, 
and  good  man  ;  and  yet  it  so  happens  that 
that  is  his  occupation. — Morning  Sermon^ 
yiine  5,  1859. 


A 


half  Baked; 
he  is 
dough  I 


CHILD  may  be  indulged,  all  through 
his    infancy    and    youth,    to    such    a    He  is  not 
degree  that  he  grows  up  so  good  natured 
and  so  susceptible  to   the   impressions   of 
the   time  being,  that  he  never   lives    in  a 
space   larger   than    the    round    minute   in 
which  he  is  standing.     When  a  child  that 
has  grown  up  thus  arrives  at  manhood,  he 
is  not  half-baked— he  is  dough  !     One  thing 
pokes  him  this  way,  and  another  thing  pokes 
him  that  way,  and  there  he  is,  a  miserable 
creature    of    circumstances.       You    never 
shall  find  a  man  that  has  grown  up  such  a 
soft  not-doing,  not-succeeding  man,  who  has 
not  a  great  deal  to  say  to  you  about  the 
mystery   of  Providence.     The    mystery  of 
Providence  !    There  is  no  mystery  of  Provi- 
39 


29  Pulpit   Pungencies  31 

dence  about  it.  There  never  was  a  thing 
that  was  more  dire6lly  the  efFe6l  of  a  cause 
than  is  this. — Evening  Sermon,  January 
29,  i860. 

HE  goes  on  to  say,  "And  lest  I  should 
^.^..^^v...^^  be  exalted  above  measure  through 

the  abundance  of  the  revelations,  there  was 
given  to  me  a  thorn  in  the  flesh,  the  mes- 
senger of  Satan  to  buffet  me,  lest  I  should 
be  exalted  above  measure ; "  that  is,  lest  he 
should  go  ballooning  to  heaven,  before  God 
summoned  him,  he  was  tied  down  to  earth 
with  a  rope. — Morning  Seiinon,  April  3, 
1857 


BALLOONS  are  made  not  only  to  rise, 
muoons,  but  to  lift  other  things  and  waft  them 

^faith  easily  high  above  hills  and  mountains  with- 
out jar  or  obstru(5lion.  If  the  balloon 
is  not  filled,  it  is  a  helpless  thing,  and  can 
neither  lift  itself  nor  anything  else  ;  but  if 
you  fill  it  with  gas  it  is  able  to  soar  away 
and  carry  many  things  along  with  it.  And 
you  will  find  the  burdens  and  duties  of  life 
40 


31  Pulpit   Pungencies  33 

heavy  enough,  unless  there  is  in  you  this 
heaven-seeking  faith  and  hope  that  inspire 
and  fill  them. — Morning  Sermon,  September 
25,  iS59- 


M 


ANY  a  man  will  steal  or  embezzle, 


mouths 


for  years,  and  never  once  call  it  by    Bandage 

their  eyes 

the  right  name — never  !  If  he  happen  to  ^'j^J^^lJjfj'^ 
say  to  himself,  "  I  am  a  thief,"  he  will 
spring  back  as  if  God  had  spoken  to  him ; 
it  is  like  poison  to  him.  "  Thief !  "  I  don't 
believe  you  could  make  many  men  steal  in 
that  way  ;  but  financieidng  is  a  very  differ- 
ent thing.  Call  it  "stealing.?"  O  no  ;  call  it 
an  arraftgemejit.  Call  it  "  thieving } "  O  no  ; 
call  it  an  ttnfortunate  affair.  Call  it  "  rob- 
bery } "  O  no  ;  it  is  an  unfortunate  mistake. 
We  talk  about  bandaging  our  eyes,  but  I 
think  men  bandage  their  eyes  with  their 
mouths  oftener  than  in  any  other  way. — 
Evening  Sermon,  May  15,  1859. 


M 


ANY     persons     say,     "  It    is    very      YXom 

and 
ohn  til 
Baptist 


well  to  send  Bibles  and  teachers  to    john  the 


the  poor  ;  but  I  think  it  would  be  conferring 
41 


33  Pulpit   Punge7zctes  34 

a  greater  blessing  upon  them  to  send  them 

barrels  of  flour,    and    coal,  and  blankets." 

aiX      Very  well ;   send  them  flour,  and  coal,  and 

Baptist     blankets  ;    I    have    no    obje6lion    to   that. 

And  it   may   be    indispensable   that    flour 

should  a6t  the  part  of  John  the  Baptist,  and 

prepare  the  way  for  Christ ;  for  a  hungry 

man,  whose  children  are  crying  for  bread, 

is  not  going  to  read  much  about  Christ  till 

he  has  got  himself  and  his  children  fed. — 

Wednesday  Evening  Leeture,  September  28, 

1859. 


AND  are  there   not   persons  here  who 
are  addi61ed  to  bad  habits.^     Some 

old  year 

a  Basin,  havc  bccu  drinking,  some  have  been  gam- 
bling, some  have  indulged  in  illicit  pleasures, 
and  some  have  been  dishonest  in  various 
ways.  You  know  what  your  trouble  has 
been.  Now,  young  man,  or  old  man,  will 
you  not  take  the  old  year  as  a  fountain,  a 
basin,  and  wash  your  hands  of  every  evil 
trait  .'*  —  Evening    Sennon,    December    25, 

1859. 

42 


35  Pulpit  Pungencies  36 


T 


HERE  are  men  who  seem  to  take  it 
for  granted  that  all  that  other  men 


make  is  just  so  much  clutched  from  them,       ^^kh'^^ 

111  )       •  •  holes 

and  that  other  men  s  joys  are  just  so  much 
taken  away  from  their  joys.  There  are 
men  who,  after  having  made  ten  thousand 
dollars,  will  say  to  themselves,  if  they  hear 
that  their  neighbor  has  made  a  poor  five 
hundred,  "  There,  I  might  as  well  have 
made  that  five  hundred  dollars  as  he."  They 
lose  the  satisfadlion  of  all  their  thousands, 
because  they  feel  that  the  five  hundred  dol- 
lars which  find  their  way  into  their  neigh- 
bor's basket,  are  taken  from  them,  notwith- 
standing ten  thousand  dollars  are  poured 
into  their  own  basket.  The  Lord  grant 
that  theirs  may  be  a  basket  with  holes. — 
Mommg  Sennouy  May  8,  1859. 

STRENGTH  of  feehng  in  favor  of  good 
with  such  persons  is  regarded  as  over- 
righteousness  ;  strength  of  feeling  against  Basket- 
evil  is  regarded  as  malignant  fanaticism  ; 
men  must  be  moderate  in  goodness  and  in 
their  hatred  toward  evil ;  men  should  main- 
43 


makers 

do 

their  slips 


2fi  Pulpit  Pungencies  38 

tain  a  convenient  morality  and  weave  their 
pliant  condu6l,  like  basket-makers  do  their 
slips,  over  and  under,  according  to  circum- 
stances.— Evenmg  Sermon,  May   15,   1859. 


The       T  -^  ^  w'Qx^  to  see  a  son  whose  mother's 

Bastard  I 

offspring  J-  memory  was,  in  his  presence,  treated 
with  foul  scorn  and  slander,  that  felt  no 
quickening  of  his  pulse,  and  that  felt  no 
up-rising  of  soul-indignation,  I  should  al- 
most believe  that  the  mother  was  all  that 
the  slanderer  had  represented  her  to  be, 
and  that  this  was  the  bastard  offspring. — 
Morning  Sermon,  May  15,   1859. 


Ought  to       I  ^HERE  are  thousands  of  persons  who 
trouble       -^       seem  to  think  it  is  their  duty  to  feel 

as  he  would    .       .  _ 

a  Bath  bad.  i\  a  man,  when  a  stroke  of  trouble 
comes  upon  him,  rises  and  shields  himself 
from  it,  as  he  betakes  himself  to  a  thicket 
when  overtaken  by  a  storm — if  a  man  does 
not,  when  troubles  beset  him,  lay  himself 
out,  and  let  them  fall  full  upon  him,  and 
44 


38  Pulpit  Pungeftcies  39 

let  them  soak  in — they  suppose  he  lacks 
sensibiUty.  They  think  that  a  man  ought 
to  take  trouble  as  he  would  take  a  bath. — 
Mornmg  Sermon,  yuly  24,  1859. 

OCCUPATION  will  go  far  toward  the 
restraint  and  cure  of  all  gross  and      coid 

^  .         P.athing 

animal    lusts.     When    the    salacious    devil     for  the 

salacious 

enters  a  man,  let  him  put  spurs  to  his  in-  ^^"^ 
dustry  and  work  for  his  life ;  make  the  devil 
pant  to  keep  up  with  you,  and  you  will  run 
him  off  his  feet,  and  he  will  be  glad  enough 
to  let  you  alone.  Simple  food,  hard  and 
tiresome  work,  absorbing  occupation  and 
plenty  of  cold  bathing — that  will  withstand 
and  control  a  vast  amount  of  evil  inclina- 
tion. Man  is  to  study  for  these  things,  and 
then  when  you  have  used  all  these  means, 
you  may  pray.  But  to  set  yourself  to  pray, 
and  then  go  and  gorge  yourself  with  stimu- 
lating foods  and  drinks,  and  not  in  any  way 
to  avail  yourself  of  the  proper  means,  is  to 
mock  God  and  cheat  your  own  soul.  Take 
care  of  yourself  first,  and  then  pray  after- 
ward. There  is  nothing  better  than  occu- 
45 


Bean-men 


39  Pulpit  Pungencies  41 

pation,  and  you  will  find  that  you  can  work 
the  devil  down  a  hundred  times  when  you 
can  wrestle  him  down  once.  The  devil  don't 
like  work  ;  he  is  lazy,  and  that  is  the  reason 
he  likes  lazy  people. — Evening  Sermon^ 
Jidy  17,  1859. 


MANY  men  are  like  a  species  of  beans 
which  require  to  be  supported  by  a 
pole.  They  will  stand  up  as  long  as  the 
pole  stands ;  but  if  some  school-boy,  desir- 
ing it  for  a  bat,  takes  it  away,  they  fall  to 
the  ground,  for  there  is  nothing  in  them  to 
make  them  stand  straight. — Morning  Ser- 
mon,  yannary  23,  1859. 


YOU  have  no  more  right  to  overtax 
yourself  than  you  have  to  overtax 
''bodr  y*-*^^^  horse  ;  and  you  would  think  it  cruel 
indeed  to  burden  a  poor  animal  beyond  its 
strength.  A  merciful  man  is  merciful  to 
his  beast — to  his  own  body. — Morning  Ser- 
mony  August  14,  1859. 

46 


42  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  43 

EN,  when  ^uiet,    are  like  beasts  in 


M 


menageries.  When  full-fed,  they  like  Blasts 
lie  down  and  stretch  themselves,  and  sleep,  menageries 
The  tiger  and  the  lion,  full-fed  and  sleepy, 
are  as  quiet  as  a  lamb  ;  not  so  when  they 
are  hungry — not  so  when  they  are  aroused. 
Men,  in  days  of  prosperity,  when  their  feel- 
ings are  placated,  are  gratified  and  purr, 
who  roar  when  they  are  touched  by  the 
sharp  point  of  iron  adversity. — Morning 
Sermon,  yanuary  23,  1859. 

nnHERE     are     good     and     perfe6lional 

Christians  whose  piety  is  like  a  crown,     toX^d 
who,  putting  it  on  their  heads,  say  "  I  am    christian 
a  Christian  ;"    taking  it  off,  say,  "  I  am  a 
Christian ;  I  have  only  left  my  Christianity 
at  home."     And  then  they  go  out  into  the 
world,  and  do  all  kinds  of  dirty  and  mean 
work ;  going  back  again,  put  on  the  crown, 
and  say,    "I  am  a  Christian  again ! "     If 
you  are  a  Christian,  you  go  to  bed  a  Chris- 
tian and  get  up  a  Christian ;   you  are  a 
Christian  at  home,  in  your  store,  and  every- 
where.— Evening  Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 
47 


44  Pulpit  Pungencies  46 


B 


jump 


UT  it  is  said  that  parents  may  deceive 
their  children  when  their  inquisitive- 

You  hadn't  i        i        i  i         ,  -,   •  ,   .    , 

Better  ness  Icads  them  to  ask  about  thmgs  which 
they  should  not  know.  If  they  ask  about 
things  which  they  should  not  know,  then 
tell  them  that  they  should  not  know. 
"  But,"  people  say,  *'  a  child  puts  a  parent 
in  such  a  disagreeable  position  sometimes." 
Well,  you  hadn't  better  jump  out  of  it  into 
a  lie. — ]\Io7'ning  Sermon^  June  26,  1859. 


I 


WOULD  not  unden-alue  the  Bible, 
but  the  revelation  of  outward  nature 
The  Bible  IS  infinitely  to  outlast  the  Bible  as  a  revela- 
commentary  tiou  of  what  God  lias  douc.  For  the  Bible 
is  to  the  revelation  of  God  a  mere  com- 
mentary, and  the  text  is  more  than  the 
commentarv. — Morning  Sermon,  July  10, 
1859. 


T 


HIS  is  rather  a  hard  gospel  when  you 
come  to  pra6tice  it.     It  is  one  thing 
and       to  knock  down  chestnuts  from  the  branches 

Bible 

truths      of  the  trees  ;  but  when  you  have  knocked 
them  down  you  have  not  overcome  your 

48 


46  Pulpit    Ptmgencies  48 

worst  difficulty,  if  the  frost  has  not  opened 
the  burs.  It  is  harder  to  open  the  burs 
and  get  at  the  chestnuts  than  it  is  to  knock 
them  down  from  the  trees.  And  I  think  it 
is  just  so  in  regard  to  getting  instru6lion 
from  the  divine  Word.  It  is  hard  enough 
to  get  truths  from  the  Bible  ;  and  when 
you  have  got  them,  it  is  harder  to  carry 
them  into  daily  pra6lice  than  it  was  to  get 
them. — Morning  Ser7non,  Jnne  19,  1859. 

AND  when  respe6lable  men,  members 
of  the  church  in  the  nineteenth 
century,  look  out  of  the  window  and  see  '"mK"' 
Christ  walking  up  and  down  prote6ling 
their  interests,  making  out  bills  of  insur- 
ance for  them,  how  do  they  say,  "  Hail, 
Master  !"- —J'/6';7/z;/^'*  Sermon,  December  25, 
1859. 

THIS   is  very  much  provoked  and  en- 
hanced by  the  very  pernicious  habit    Religious 
of  novel  reading — I   mean  the  reading  of    pe°™ouf 

and  lying 

religious  biographies  ;   for  I  think  it  is  one 

of  the  worst  things  that  can  befall  a  man, 

49 


Christ 


48  Pulpit   Pungencies  50 

because  in  general  they  are  not  true,  and 
the  nearer  they  come  to  the  truth  the  more 
lying  they  are. — Evening  Sermon,  May  29, 
1859, 

TRUE   politeness   can   rest   only  in  a 
x^ii^cuai  kind  disposition  ;    though  its   signs 

and  names  may  be  counterfeited,  yet  they 
are  never  so  good  as  those  that  are  un- 
counterfeited.  The  man  who  is  only  selfish 
and  indifferent  at  heart  can  not  be  a  gen- 
tleman. As  to  those  gentlemanly  bears 
that  infest  society,  those  bipedal  brutes 
that  walk  about,  flinging  their  unsavory 
manners  in  our  midst,  they  are  beneath  our 
notice. — Evenifig  Sermon,  May  i,  1859. 


brutes 


sounds 


W 


HEN  men  invoke  the  name  of  God 
Black        ^  ^       they  do  it  with  their  deepest  and 
most   solemn   tones.      I    associate   sounds 
•with    colors.     Certain   sounds    I    associate 
with  red,  and  certain  other  sounds  I  asso- 
ciate with  yellow  ;    and  when  I  hear  these 
doleful   praying   sounds   I   think   of  black 
and   feel    as  though  the  man  that   utters 
SO 


Never 


50  Ptilpit   Pungencies  52 

them  stood  robed  in  black  velvet !— R/^^- 
nesday  Evening  Lecture,  December  28,  1859. 

T_T  ERE  is  a  man  who  goes  to  the  judg- 
-■-  ^  ment,  and  claims  to  have  been  a 
man  of  unexceptionable  piety.  He  bears  hfSs 
witness  that  he  never  violated  the  Sabbath  Sunday 
day  ;  that  he  never  spoke  loud  or  laughed 
on  Sunday  ;  that  he  never  did  any  secular 
work  on  Sunday;  that  he  never  blacked 
his  boots,  or  shaved  or  cooked  on  Sunday  ; 
that  he  never  rode  in  the  cars  or  on  the 
boats  on  Sunday.  He  was  always  very 
scrupulous  about  what  he  did  on  Sunday. 
On  any  other  day  he  would  not  hesitate  to 
take  advantage  of  his  fellow  men  ;  he  would 
not  hesitate  to  gouge  the  poor  woman  that 
put  his  carpet  down  ;  he  would  not  hesi- 
tate to  cheat  his  customers  ;  but,  then,  he 
kept  Sunday. — Evening  Sermon,  December 
II,  1859. 

A   ND  then  the  cruelties  of  superstition  ; 
^    that  is  to  say,  the  cruelties  which  men     Bies^ed 

1  ,  111  T     .  extravagance 

nave  been  led  by  religious  superstition  to 
51 


52  Pulpit  Pungencies  55 

commit  upon  their  fellow-men — of  these  I 
might  say,  as  John,  in  blessed  extravagance, 
said  of  the  sayings  and  doings  of  Christ. — 
Evening  Sermon,  October  23,  1859. 


w 


HAT  a  shame,  that  it  should  be  left 


War 

Blister  earthly  things,  a  thing  that  is  good  only  as 
a  blister  plaster  is  better  than  inflammation 
— to  illustrate  what  ought  to  have  been  il- 
lustrated by  the  church  ! — Morni?ig  Sermon, 
March  4,  i860. 


DO  you  not  live  day  by  day,  as  if  noth- 
Kiown  out  ing  were  more  certain,  and  nothing 

you  ^re  half  could  sTivQ  you  Icss  troublc  than  the  matter 

burned  .    ,^  -^       .      . 

of  living  ;  as  if  it  were  rolled  out  for  days 
to  come,  whereas  it  is  but  a  hand's  breath  ; 
it  is  but  a  taper  long,  and  many  of  you  may 
be  blown  out  before  you  are  half  burned. — 
Evening  Sermon,  yidy  3,  1859. 


Bojriis 


MEN   do  not  take  a  bank-bill  simply 
because  it  is  a  bank-bill.     They  see 
whether  it  is  a  genuine  bill,  and  whether 
52 


55  Pulpil  Pungencies  56 

the  bank  it  is  on  is  able  to  pay ;  and  if  it  is 
a  good  bill,  and  on  a  good  bank,  they  take 
it  on  account  of  the  gold  there  is  behind  it. 
And  so  with  professors  of  religion.  When 
a  man  knows  there  is  a  great  deal  of  bogus 
religion,  he  scrutinizes  professors  to  know 
whether  they  are  counterfeit.  He  wants  to 
know  whether  there  is  the  gold  of  perform- 
ance behind  them. — Evening  Sermon,  Feb- 
ruary 10,  i860. 


w 


HEN  Jonathan  Edwards,  the  bright- 


est   lamp    of   centuries    on    these      ^^^.^ 
shores,  stood  forth,  ten  thousand  bats  flew    ^  Bones'^ 
round  him,  and  myriads  of  moths  and  mil-  in  the  way 
lers  tried  to  put  out  his  light,  and  he  was 
regarded  as  a  great  innovator ;  but  in  our 
time  there  is  no  lack  of  men  who  worship 
Jonathan  Edwards.     And,  strange  to  say, 
the  very  men  who   worship   these   bright 
examples   of  Christian  heroism,  take  their 
old  bones,  as  Samson  took  the  jaw  bone  of 
an  ass,  and  stand  in  the  way  of  the  truths 
which  they  sought  to  establish. — Evening 
Sermon,  December  11,  1859. 
53 


of 

Botanical 
sincerity 


57  Ptilpit  Pungencies  58 

A  GOOD  Christian  needs  to  be  born 
M^eiiBora  '^^  again,  but  it  is  very  necessary  that 
firl't  bSrn    he  should  have  been  well  born  when  he 

was  first  born. — Evening  Sermon,  February 

10,  i860. 


T  T  ERE  is  a  man  who  is  sowing  what 
Any  amount  J-  1  appears  to  bc  black  ashes.  A 
friend  accosts  him,  saying,  "  What  have 
you  got  in  your  bag } "  He  learns  that  it 
is  the  hulls  of  buckwheat — the  chaff  of  old 
wheat ;  and  he  says,  "  What  are  you  sowing 
chaff  for  1 "  "  Why,"  the  man  replies,  "  I 
have  the  impression  that  if  a  man  is  only 
faithful  and  sincere,  it  makes  no  difference 
what  he  sows  t "  Doesn't  it  make  a  differ- 
ence ?  Suppose  a  man  should  sow  couch- 
grass,  thinking  that  he  was  going  to  get 
timothy  hay  ?  Would  he  ?  Suppose  a  man 
should  set  out  crab-apple  trees  in  his  or- 
chard, and  think  that  he  was  going  to  get 
fall-pippins  ?  Would  he  ?  Suppose  a  man 
should  sow  that  most  detestable  of  all  de- 
testable seeds,  the  Canada  thistle,  and  say 
that  that  was  wheat  ?  Would  any  amomit 
54 


58  Pulpit    Pungc7icies  60 

of  botanical  sincerity  on  the  part  of  this 
fool  secure  to  him  a  harvest  of  anything 
better  than  the  seed  sown  ? — Evetmig  Ser- 
mon, October  16,  1859. 

THERE  are  other  men  who  live  in 
their  imagination.  They  dream  all  upand 
their  life  long.  On  a  special  impulse  they  and  out 
open  their  eyes,  and  see  things  as  they 
are ;  but  the  moment  the  hard,  pra6tical 
necessity  which  disturbs  them  has  given 
way,  and  they  are  at  liberty  to  do  what 
they  love  to  do  best,  back  they  sink  into 
day  dreams,  and  dream  up,  and  down,  and 
out  both  ways  ! — Morning  Sermon,  Atignst 
7,  1859. 


I 


F  you  send  the   colored   people   away, 
white  people,  who  are  useful  in  higher 


departments  of  labor,  will  have  to  take  their    Top  and 

Bottom 

places.  And  who  will  supply  the  places  of 
those  that  go  down  to  take  the  places  of 
the  negroes  .-*  Why  the  class  next  above 
them.  When  you  take  away  the  bottom  of 
society  the  top  must  necessarily  come 
55 


6o  Pulpit    Pungencies  6i 

down.  If  a  man  despises  his  feet  and  cuts 
them  off,  down  goes  his  head.  For  every 
single  inch  that  he  cuts  off  from  his  feet,  he 
brings  his  head  down  an  inch.  And  if  the 
top  of  society,  despising  the  bottom,  takes 
it  away,  it  must  come  down  in  proportion  to 
the  amount  that  it  takes  away. — Morning 
Sermon^  ytily  17,  1859. 


THE  nearer  a  man  stands  to  the  2:ate 
01  heaven,  the  worse  is  sm  m  hmi  ; 

Bottom 

charitably  and  the  nearer  a  man  stands  to  the  gate  of 
perdition — if  there  are  any  degrees  in  sin — 
the  less  heinous  is  sin  in  him.  Therefore 
Jesus  Christ,  when  He  stood  before  those 
sacred  men,  the  priests  of  the  sanduary, 
who  stood  at  the  very  top  of  knowledge, 
pointing  to  the  prostitutes  who  stood  in  the 
very  dregs  of  life,  said  to  the  proud  priests  : 
"The  pubHcans  and  harlots  shall  go  into 
the  kingdom  of  God  before  you."  If  Christ 
were  to  walk  in  the  streets  of  New  York 
now,  there  would  be  the  same  terrible  exco- 
riations ;  if  things  were  brought  to  the  level 
56 


6 1  Pulpit   Pungencies  64 

of  the  New  Testament  in  our  times,  it 
would  bring  down  the  top  terribly  and  lift 
up  the  bottom  charitably. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, May  15,  1859. 

MEN  have  a  little  boat  of  piety,  which 
runs    up   and   down  the  waves   of  Bow  rigged 

with  the 

their  experience  ;    but  their  life  is  a  great    passions 
hull    of  selfishness,  the   bow  of  which    is 
rigged  with  the  lower  passions. — Morning 
Sermon,  June  12,  1859. 


I 


THINK  that  he  is  the  best  man  who    The  most 
has   the  most   boy   in  him. — Morning    '^^'^  """ 


Sermon,  August  14,   1859. 


T 


HOUSANDS   of  boys  are  dreaming 
of  growing  suddenly  rich — and  I  call 


Boys 

a  man  a  boy  as  long  as  he  is  foolish;  so  ofaiiages 
that  the  boyhood  of  a  great  many,  you  see, 
goes  with  them  clear  through  life !  There 
are  thousands  of  boys,  of  all  ages,  that  are 
dreaming  about  going  to  bed  poor,  and 
waking  up  rich. — Evening  Sermon,  Febru- 
ary 5,  i860. 

57 


65  Ptdpit   Pungencies  6 J 

OME  men  are  like  beggars  that  have 
sometimes  come  to  my  door.     They 


s 


and       said,   "  Will  you  not  give  me  some  bread 

butter 

and  butter?"  I  took  them  at  their  word, 
and  gave  them  some  bread  and  butter ; 
but  it  was  a  quarter  of  a  dollar  that  they 
wanted  ;  they  did  not  want  the  bread  and 
butter  at  all ;  so  when  they  turned  to  go 
away,  they  threw  it  behind  them. — Mo7'n- 
ing  Sermon,  June  5,   1859. 


w 


E  are  a  part  of  His  husbandry.    "  Ye 

are  God's  husbandry."      For  you 

ngm  j^^   thinks.      For    you    he    tills.      He   is 

breaking   in  your    disposition.  —  Evening 

Sermon y  October  16,  1859. 


N 


OW,    if   a   man   means   to   walk,    he 
„    ,  must  have  a  clear  course  in  order 

Breaks  up 

all  manner  of  ^o  S^"^  anything  like  a  gait  or  a  majesty 

"^""^      of  movement,    or   a  sweep  and  power  of 

movement.     But  if  a  man  starts   to  walk, 

and   says,    "  Where   shall    I   put  my  foot } 

Well well,  tJierey  I  guess.     Well,  where 

58 


67  Pulpit  Pungencies  68 


shall    I    put   the  next  one?     Well,  therer 
and  then  he  takes  it  back  to  see  if  it  is 

,  Breaks  up 

rio-ht,  and  then  puts  it  down  again  ;  then       into 

S3       '  ■••  all  manner  of 

he  stops  and  says,  ''  Perhaps  it  is  the  antics 
other  foot."  Now  this  is  to  walking  just 
exadtly  as  the  course  which  many  per- 
sons pursue  with  regard  to  becoming  per- 
fe6l.  They  never  think,  but  they  stop  to 
see  if  it  is  right  ;  and  so  their  feelings 
are  started,  and  then  pulled  back  ;  they 
are  chafed  like  a  horse  that  is  not  per- 
mitted to  go,  and  is  whipped  for  not  going, 
till  he  breaks  up  into  all  manner  of  antics, 
and  it  is  happy  for  them  if  they  do  not 
break  away  from  the  vehicle  entirely. — 
Evening  Sermon,  May  29,  1859. 

THE  great  commandment  of  the  law 
is,  *'Thou  shalt  love  the  Lord  thy 
God  with  all  thy  heart,  and  with  all  thy  oniyroom 
soul,  and  with  all  thy  strength,  and  with  ^^ke  Breath 
all  thy  mind  " — and  then  there  is  not  a 
great  gulf  between  the  two  parts  of  it, 
but  only  room  to  take  breath — "and  thy 
neighbor  as  thyself"  They  come  right 
59 


Broad- 
leaved 
experience 


6S  Pulpit  Pungencies  70 

together,  as  twins. — Morning  Seiynon,  Ait- 
giist  7,  1859. 

T  T  is  how  much  of  the  invisible  we  can 
^  bring  into  this  Hfe  that  makes  this 
hfe  rich  and  vakiable.  I  will  tell  you  a 
secret  of  gardening.  Turnips  and  other 
crops  that  have  long  roots,  and  depend 
mostly  for  their  nourishment  on  the  soil, 
exhaust  the  soil ;  while  those  crops  that 
have  broad  leaves,  and  take  the  greater 
portion  of  their  nourishment  from  the  air, 
organizing  it,  and  turning  it  into  the  soil, 
enrich  the  soil.  Now  let  me  tell  you  that 
that  which  makes  this  life  rich  is  that 
broad-leaved  experience  which  derives  its 
support  from  the  air  of  the  future  world. — 
Morning  Sermon,  March  11,  i860. 

T    HAVE  no  doubt  that  it  would  be  a 
Spirits  sad    thing    to    have    a    child's    spirit 

broken  ;  but  I  do  not  remember  ever  to 
have  met  with  an  instance  of  such  misfor- 
tune, and  therefore  I  cannot  speak  know- 
ingly on  this  point.  I  do  not  think  our 
60 


Broken 


70  Pulpit    Pungencies  72 

American  children  suffer  from  having  their 
spirits  broken  too  early  ! — Evcfiiiig  Sermon, 
February  26,  i860. 


I 


THINK    God    makes   men,   in   some 


respects,  as  he  makes  tulips.     In  the    children 

>      1  1  ^^^  Bulbs 

autumn  of  the  year  the  next  year  s  blossom 
is  stored  up,  all  ready  to  come  forth,  and 
there  is  food  enough  in  it  to  get  it  out  of 
the  ground.  Children  are  bulbs.  There 
is  parent  enough  in  them  to  last  till  they 
can  organize  chara6ler  for  themselves. — 
Everting  Sermon,  Febi^nary  10,  i860. 


I 


F  your  God  is  made  out  of  conceptions 
derived  from  the  great  and  heartless 


God 


round  of  the  natural  world ;    if  you  have    coming 

down 

a  great  crystalline  God,  such  as  philosophy  to  Burrow 
deduces  from  the  material  globe,  you  can 
conceive  of  no  such  thing  as  his  detra6ling 
from  his  dignity  by  coming  down  to  bur- 
row, as  you  call  it,  in  this  lower  sphere. — 
Morning  Sedition,  October  23,  1859. 
61 


']'i)  Ptilpit  Pungencies  75 

nnHERE  is  nothing,  I  suppose,  more 
busy  in  sultry  summer  days  than 
do-nothings  flies  are,  and  what  a  world  of  trouble  they 
take  to  report  their  a6livities,  buzzing  and 
flying  everywhere  ;  and  what  is  there  on 
earth  ever  effe6ls  so  little  ?  Many  people 
are  like  them  ;  they  are  exceedingly  busy, 
but  they  do  nothing. — Evening  Sermon^ 
July  17,  1859. 


^^    A    H!"   says  he,   "I   think  I  will  go, 

But  and  if        "^"^     ^^^'  \iViX.'' — bitty  you  kuow,  is  the 
hell-gates   ^^^^  ^^^  ^£  ^j^j^.]^  ^  j^gjl  comes  ;   or  he 

says,  "  I  will  go  if" — and  if  is  the  other 
leaf  of  that  gate,  for  it  is  a  double-leaved 
one. — Morning  Sermon y  December  11  j  1859. 


^T  EVER,  when  you  see  a  thing  to  be 
^  right,  stand  skaking  and  quaking, 
and  say,  "But  then."  That  "But  then" 
is  a  devil  damned.  If  and  but  have  de- 
stroyed more  souls  than  any  fiend  in  hell. — 
Morning  Sermon ^  May  22,  1859. 
62 


But  then 


A 


76  Pulpit  Ptingencies  77 

MAN  may  be  a  good  citizen,  whether 
he  takes  one   side   or  the   other  of 

,         ,      , .  .  I  should 

the  tariff  question  ;  whether  he  beheves  in   Button  up 

'■  my  pocket 

banks,  or  disbeheves  in  them  ;  whether  he 
is  in  favor  of  usury  laws,  or  is  opposed  to 
them.  But  what  would  you  think  of  the 
good  citizenship  of  a  man  who  really  be- 
lieved that  stealing  was  not  a  sin  ?  The 
more  thoroughly  a  man  believes  this,  the 
worse  he  is  ;  and  if  I  were  to  hear  a  man 
say,  "I  am  perfe6lly  sincere  when  I  de- 
clare that  I  do  not  believe  stealing  is 
wrong,"  I  should  button  up  my  pocket 
whenever  he  came  near  me!  —  Evening 
Sermon^  December  18,    1859. 

HAVE  you  ever  seen  a  tree  growing 
out    of    its    appropriate    latitude  ? 

Here  is  a  careful  man  who  has  a  peach      stage- 
driver's 
tree   nailed   out   on    the   south    side    of   a     Button 

wall.  He  covers  the  roots  with  straw, 
binds  bandages  around  the  trunk,  and 
wraps  up  all  the  branches  and  leaves,  so 
that  every  part  of  the  tree  shall  be  ex- 
posed as  little  as  possible.  When  it  gets 
63 


T*]  Pulpit   Ptmgencies  79 

to  be  five  years  old,  he  calls  you  to  rejoice 
with  him  because  it  has  ten  peaches  on 
it.  You  wonder  that  it  is  possible  for  a 
peach  tree  to  grow,  and  bear  fi-uit,  in  such 
a  situation  as  that  is  in  ;  and  yet  there  are 
ten  real  peaches  on  it,  almost  as  big  as  a 
stage-driver's  button.  —  Morning  Sermon, 
April  10,  1859. 


RELIGION  is  to  the  soul  what  health 
is  to  the  body — it  is  the  right  order- 
B?2zbg  ^^^S  of  all  the  faculties.  Many  persons 
think  it  is  confined  to  certain  faculties, 
which  must  be  set  buzzing  at  particular 
times.  —  Morning  Sermony  September  18, 
1859. 


THERE  is  not  one  man  that  is  smart 
Buzzin-  where   there   are   twenty  men   that 

think  they  are  ;  and  many  men  are  smart 
only  as  flies  are  :  they  make  a  world  of 
buzzing,  but  do  not  make  much  else. — 
Evening  Sermony  February  10,  i860. 

64 


8o  Pulpit   Pungencies  8i 

HOW  many  ten  thousand  times,  in 
your  day  and  in  mine,  is  "  the 
peace  of  the  Church"  urged  as  an  excuse 
for  her  not  performing  certain  of  her 
duties.  As  if  the  Church  were  of  any 
account,  except  as  an  instrument ;  as  if  it 
were  anything  but  a  cainion-ball  which 
God  fires  out  of  the  Gospel,  whose  busi- 
ness is  to  bound  and  rebound  through  the 
world,  without  regard  to  its  own  preserva- 
tion, but  in  such  a  way  as  to  do  the  most 
execution  in  the  great  battle  against  sin 
in  which  it  is  employed.  Think  of  a 
cannon-ball  whose  only  care  was  that  it 
might  not  get  bruised ! — Moniiiig  Sejuion, 
May  22,   1859. 


Careful 
Cannon- 
ball 


N 


OW  the  Roman  Catholic  Church  is 

like    an    old    tree    in    my    father's     Cathoiic 

^  Church 

orchard,    which    I    have    recently    visited.    ^^^  ^^  ^^^^ 
There  were  many  dead  branches  upon  it,     }^^^^ 
but  there  still  remained  two  living  branches. 
I    remembered  the  place   where   the   tree 
'stood.     I  knew  that  it  used  to  bear  good  ap- 
ples.— Morning  Sermon,  yamiary  30,  1859. 


82  Pulpit   Pu7tgencies  84 

OINCERITY  is  a  very  good  thing,  but 
fa^mefs  ^  it  caiiiiot  make  grain  out  of  chaff. 
And  that  man  who  thinks  that  it  makes 
no  difference  what  he  beUeves,  so  long 
as  he  is  sincere,  is  a  cJiaff  farmer. — Even- 
iitg  Sermon,  October  16,  1859. 


E  are  Uving  on  a  flight  of  stairs  in 


W 

chlmber  ^  ^  this  world,  and  we  shall  not  touch 
the  chamber  floor  till  we  touch  the  vesti- 
bule of  heaven. — Morning  Sermon,  March 
II,  i860. 


I    DO  not  wonder  that,  with  the  thought 
before  "the"  which  most  Christlaus   have  of  God, 

of  God  they  are  slow  to  go  to  Him.  What  man 
would  not  be  afraid  to  make  prayers  to 
a  thunderbolt,  if  he  expe6led  that  the  re- 
suit  of  every  prayer  would  be  to  bring  a 
bolt  down  upon  his  head  1  I  should  not 
want  to  charge  up  before  the  throne  of 
God,  if  it  were  like  charging  before  a 
battery. — Morning  Sermon,  Jidy  3,  1859. 


85  Pulpit  Pungencies  87 


G 


OD  says,  ''Take  no  thought  what  ye 
^    shall  eat ;"  and  it  seems  to  me  He 


,  ,   .  ,  It  is  as 

needs  not  to  say  this  more  than  once  to  a     cheap 


to  trust  as 


Christian.     Do  the  things  you  can,  and  do     to  fret 
them    cheerfully.      Sing   while   you   work. 
It  is  as  cheap  to  trust  as  to  fret. — Morning 
Sermon,  April  10,  1859. 


r 


HE  promise  of  God  is  not  this  :  "Do 
you  declare  what  you  want,  and  be 


pious,  and  I  will  see  that  the  plan  which    promise" 

to  sij^n  our 

you   mark   out  is  filled  up."     He   doesn't     check 
promise  that  if  we  will  draw  a  check,  fill- 
ing up  the  blank  with  the  sum  which  we 
want,  He  will  sign  His  name  to  it. — Even- 
ing Sermon,  February  10,  i860. 


I  WILL  not  go  at  large  into  the  subje6l 
of  g-ames.     I  do  not  think  that,  under    _  , 

^  No  harm 

ordinary  circumstances,   there   is   harm   in  '"  checkers 
playing  checkers,  or  backgammon,  or  chess  ^^^kgammon 
— that   noble   game — unless    it   is  allowed 
to  consume  too  much  time. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, November  20,  1859. 

67 


88  Pulpit  Pungencies  89 


I 


LOOK  upon  the  Roman  Catholic 
Church  as  being  dead  in  one  branch, 
beurr^  and  another,  and  as  being  bark-bound  and 
a  ciiip  worm-eaten,  but  as  having  some  real  good 
sap  in  it  yet,  and  some  living  boughs, 
and  as  bearing  some  fair  fruit ;  and  I  can 
say,  "  God  be  thanked  for  the  good  in  the 
Roman  Catholic  Church."  "  But,"  says 
one,  "do  you  think  one  religious  system 
as  good  as  another?"  By  no  manner  of 
means.  There  are  systems  that  seem  to 
me  to  be  wonderfully  adapted  to  avoid 
the  evil  and  promote  the  good,  and  to  be 
as  much  better  than  some  other  systems 
as  a  mason's  trowel  is  better  than  a  chip 
with  which  to  lay  brick  in  a  wall. — Morn- 
ing SermoUy  January  30,  1859. 


G 


Chisel ' 


OD  made  timber  grow,  but  He  never 

^     made   a   house.      He   made   timber 

never  said   p^row,   but   Hc  ucvcr  built  a  bridsre.     He 

made  timber  grow,   but   He  never,   in   all 

the  history  of  creation,  put  a  tool  into  a 

man's    hand.     He    never    said    "saw,"    or 

"chisel,"    or    "mallet,"    or   "hammer,"   or 

6Z 


89  Pulpit  Pungencies  90 

*^  nail." — Morning    Sermon,    yanitary    15, 
i860. 

IT  is  by  a  man's  theology,  and  not  by 
his    life,    that   he   is    usually  judged. 
If  I  say  of  a  man,  "  Is  he  a  good  man  1 " 


Getting  out 
stone 

I   receive  the  answer,   "No;   hes  a  Uni-       lead 


tarian."  It  is  understood  at  once  that  if 
a  man  holds  to  the  Unitarian  do6lrine  he 
cannot  be  good.  I  ask  of  another,  "  Do 
you  consider  him  a  good  man  t "  "  No  ; 
he's  a  Swedenborgian."  I  say  of  another, 
"  Is  he  good  1 "  "  No  ;  he  cannot  be  good, 
for  he's  a  Universalist."  But  be  it  far  from 
me  to  judge  a  man  by  what  he  believes. 
A  person  can  be  as  good  with  one  system 
as  another.  If  you  were  to  ask  me  whether 
I  think  a  man  can  get  out  the  stone  for  a 
building  with  a  lead  chisel,  I  should  say, 
"  I  should  not  think  he  could  ;  at  any  rate, 
give  me  a  good  steel  chisel."  But  suppose 
that  in  some  way  a  man  does  continue, 
with  a  lead  chisel,  to  get  out  the  stone  for 
his  building,  I  am  not  to  look  at  the  build- 
ing, and  when  I  see  it  is  well  built,  say  it 

69 


Chisel 


90  Pulpit  Pungencies  91 

isn't  a  good  piece  of  workmanship,  be- 
cause he  cut  the  stone  with  a  poor  chisel. 
I  should  rather  marvel  at  his  being  able  to 
produce  so  good  a  stru6lure  with  such  in- 
ferior means. — Morning  Sermon^  January 
30,  1859. 


T 


'O  watch  to  see  what  is  awkward  in 
others  ;  to  search  out  the  infirmities 
chHst^     ^^  ™^^  5   to  go  out  like  a  street-sweeper, 
than  >^ou  are  ^^   a   umvcrsal   scavcngcr,    to    collea    the 
^^^    ^   '_  faults  and  failings  of  people  ;  to  carry  these 
things   about  as   if  they  were  cherries   or 
flowers  ;   to  throw  them  out  of  your  bag 
or  pouch,,  and  make  them  an  evening  re- 
past, or  a  noonday  meal,  or  the  amusement 
of  a   social    hour,    enlivened  by  unfeeling 
criticisms,  heartless  jests,  and  cutting  sar- 
casms ;  to  take  a  man  up  as  you  would  a 
chicken,  and  gnaw  his  flesh  from  his  very 
bones,  and  then  lay  him  down,  saying,  with 
fiendish   exultation,    "  There  is   his    skele- 
ton"— this   is  devilish!     You  may  call  it 
by  as   many  pretty  names  as  you  please, 
but  it  is  devilish !  and  you  will  do  nothing 
70 


91  Ptilpit  Pungencies  92 

warse  than  this  when  you  go  to  hell ;  for 
you  may  expecl  to  go  there  if  you  have 
such  a  disposition  and  do  not  change  it. 
Talk  about  cannibalism  !  Cannibals  never 
eat  a  man  till  he  is  dead.  They  are  nearer 
Christ  than  you  are,  a  great  deal ! — Morn- 
ing  Sermon,  October  16,  1859. 


N 


O  man  has  a  right  to  say,   "  I   will 
take  the   regality  of  power  which 


Chrysalis 

I  have,  and  carve  out  a  place,  and  store  men 
it  with  abundance,  and  go  in  there  and 
enjoy  myself  for  the  rest  of  my  life."  The 
life  of  such  a  man  is  the  insect  life.  There 
is  a  worm  to  begin  with.  This  worm  goes 
into  himself  to  take  his  ease,  and  becomes 
a  dead,  juicy  chrysalis.  A  worm,  a  butter- 
fly, a  sack  of  juice :  these  are  the  three 
forms  of  inse6l  life.  And  how  many  men 
are  there  that  are  worms  in  their  begin- 
nings, who,  when  they  have  gone  through 
their  crawling  period,  wing  their  way  in 
the  summer  warmth  for  a  time,  and  then 
go  back  into  a  substantial  chrysalis  state ! 
— Evening  Senjion,  yanua7'y  15,  i860. 
71 


93  Pulpit  Pungencies  96 


Y 


OU  will  find  that  the  Christians  of 
each  particular  church  are  so   like 
what  Church  cach    otlicr,    that   a   discerning    mind,    on 

he 

belongs  to  seeing  a  Christian,  can  tell  what  church 
he  belongs  to. —  Wednesday  Evening  Lec- 
tu7'e,  November  16,  1859. 

'T^HE  Church  has  come  to  be  popular ; 
The  Church  ^^^  getting  iuto  the  Church  is  not 

Good's      getting  into  God's  kingdom,  by  any  means. 
-Evening  Sermon,  February  10,  i860. 


A/OU    will    never    need    for    a   corrupt 
-^       minister :     there    is    a    church    for 
hell  as  well  as  for  the  san6lities. — Evening 
Seiinon,  May  15,  1859. 


kingdom 


A  Church 
for  hell 


I 


HAVE  heard  business  men  say  that, 
so  far  from  trusting  a  man  because  he 
Church     was  a  church  member,  they  were  inclined 

member 

to  be  rather  more  suspicious  of  him  on  that 
account,  because  they  thought  he  was  apt 
to  use  his  righteousness  as  a  garment  under 
which  to  pra6lice  dishonesties. — Morning 
Sermon,  yime  26,  1859. 
72 


97  Pulpit    Pungencies  98 


N 


EW  YORK  is  a  honey-comb,  in  every 
cell  of  which  are  ena6led  scenes  of 


A 


ND  as  she   [Mary  Magdalene]   stood 
there  weeping,  probably  almost  un- 


stance 


,   .  A  de%al 

untold  wickedness  ;    and  there  is  nothmg  wouldn't  be 

a  Circum- 

related  of  the  devil,  in  legend  or  in  monk- 
ish fable,  that  is  not  outmastered  and  over- 
drawn in  the  haunts  of  vice  and  corruption 
in  the  lower  parts  of  that  city.  And  yet 
men  laugh  at  the  credulousness  of  those 
who  believe  that  God  would  permit  the 
existence  of  a  devil.  If  he  would  permit 
the  existence  of  a  man,  he  would  permit 
the  existence  of  a  devil  ;  for  a  devil  would 
not  be  a  circumstance  to  such  men  as  I 
have  described!  —  Evening  Sermon^  Octo- 
ber 23,  1859. 


Cleansed 

conscious    of   what    she   did,    she    stooped     by  her 

'  ^  way  of 

down  and  looked  into    the  sepulchre,  and      ^^^'"'^ 
saw  what  those  two  great  men  did  not  see 
— very  hkely,  too,  because  their  eyes  were 
so  rude  and  coarse.     But  the  woman's  eye, 
that   had  been    cleansed   by   her    way    of 


98  Pulpit    Punge7icies  100 

living,  had  a  discerning  power  which,  it 
seems,  had  yet  to  be  given  to  the  others. — 
Wednesday  Evening  Lecturey  February  I, 
i860. 


T 


God's 


Cloth 


HERE   is   a   providence    of    God,    a 

thinking  of  God  for  us  ;    but  it  is 

providence  no   such   providcuce   or   thinking  as  ever 

never 

w^av^s  takes  the  place  of,  or  interferes  with,  our 
own  personal  wisdom.  There  is  a  provi- 
dence of  God,  but  it  never  weaves  cloth. — 
Evening  Sermon,  ynly  3,  1859. 


T)E  content  with  such  things  as  ye 
^     have."     Well,  you  are  not.     God 

Parental 

anxiety  ^3^3  given  you  a  family  of  children ;  and 
davionK  <^^^  looking  upon  your  household  from 
the  outside  would  say,  "  How  happy  that 
father  and  that  mother  must  be  with  such 
children."  But  a  person  who  is  brought 
into  near  relations  with  you  will  find  that 
parental  anxiety  is  clucking  after  those 
children  all  the  day  long. — Morning  Ser- 
mojiy  yu7ie  5,  1859. 

74 


day  long 


lOi  Pulpit    Pungencies  102 

WHAT  a  coarse  book  this    Bible  is. 
It   has  never   been   to   school   to 

What  a 

get  refined,  so  we  have  to  take  it  just  as  ^^o^^/s^jjjo^ 
we  find  it.  These  are  plain  words:  "If  i^ 
a  man  say,  I  love  God,  and  hateth  his 
brother,  he  is  a  liar.  For  he  that  loveth 
not  his  brother,  whom  he  hath  seen,  how 
can  he  love  God,  whom  he  hath  not  seen  t " 
Show  me  a  man  that  is  proud  and  over- 
reaching, who  professes  to  be  pious,  and  I 
will  tell  you  that  his  piety  is  all  flummery. 
There  is  not  a  bit  of  piety  in  such  a  man. 
— Morning  Sermon,  yune  19,  1859. 


DEEDS  of  kindness  must  not  be  occa- 
sional, and  as  enforced  duties  ;  they 
must  be  the  spontaneous  a6ts  of  an  abiding  ^"^ .x^""^ 
disposition  of  Christian  love.  They  must 
grow  out  of  you  as  grass  grows  out  of  the 
summer-warmed  ground.  You  don't  have 
to  coax  grass  to  grow;  you  can't  coax  it 
not  to  grow. — Morning  Sermofi,  October  16, 

'1859. 

75 


to  grow 


I03  Pulpit    Pungencies 


w 


HEN  we  go  into  a  family,  can  any- 
thing be  sweeter  than  to  see  those 
throthe"^  pleasant,  glowing  looks,  and  hear  those 
"My dear"  kind  words,  which  stir  the  memories  of 
tender  associations  ?  How  much  of  hea- 
ven there  is  sometimes  in  the  blush  upon 
the  mother's  cheek,  and  how  much  of  the 
heart's  best  knowledge  shines  in  the  fa- 
ther's face,  drawn  out  by  those  incidental 
allusions  which  go  direct  from  heart  to 
heart.  But  suppose  we  find  every  day 
each  one  of  the  parents  cobwebbing  the 
other  from  morning  until  night  with  well- 
spun  words,  winding  them  round  and 
round  in  a  flimsy  net-work  and  shallow 
pretence  of  affection.  I  think  there  are 
some  men  who  never  speak  kindly  until 
they  are  on  the  eve  of  a  broil ;  they  say, 
"  My  dear,"  and  then  each  word  pierces 
sharper  and  sharper,  till  the  quarrel  be- 
comes almost  intolerable. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, May  15,  1859. 


76 


I04  Pulpit   Pungencies  io6 


w 


Cockles 


E  should  brush  down  all  the  infinite 

,  ,  .  ,  I-         Infinite 

cobwebs  woven  ni  the  corners  oi     Cobwebs 
the  house  of  duty. — Morning  Sermon,  Jnne 
26,  1859. 

''  I  ^HEN,  next,  there  are  what  may  be 
^  called  (f//^y^  farmers  in  spiritual  hus- 
bandry ;  I  do  not  know  that  there  are  any  ^^^^3^^^^^ 
such  in  natural  husbandry,  but  you  can 
conceive  what  they  would  be  there.  Sup- 
pose you  should  find  a  farmer  who  said  that 
he  had  been  pondering  upon  the  theory  and 
science  of  farming ;  that  he  was  satisfied 
that  farmers  had  been  doing  injustice  to 
many  kinds  of  seeds  ;  and  that  he  felt  as- 
sured that  if  a  man  would  sow  cockle  seeds, 
and  do  it  sincerely,  God  would  give  the 
increase  .'*  So  He  would — of  cockles  ! — 
Evening  Sermon,  October  16,  1859. 


I 


T  is  not  in  the  power  of  all  the  Boling- 
brokes,  and  Voltaires,  and  Tom  Paines, 


The 

and  Rousseaus,  and  other  great  names  that     devil's 


write  infidel  matters — it  is  not  in  the  power 

of  all  the  locust  host  of  infidels — to  do  that 

77 


Colporteurs 


io6  Ptilpit  Ptmgencies  io8 

damage  to  true  religion  which  may  be  done 
by  an  unfaithful  church,  or  by  the  ungodly 
testimony,  in  pradlical  life,  of  professors  of 
religion  ;  for  betraying  Christians  are  the* 
devil's  colporteurs,  who  peddle  tra6ls  of  in- 
fidelity ;  not  printed  tradls,  but  living 
epistles — their  own  examples. — Morning 
Sermoiiy  Marc  J i  27,  1859. 


T^OR  I  hold  that  the  prejudice  which 
■^  exists  against  color,  is  not  against 
color  ;  and  it  is  not  against  carelessness, 
nor  indolence,  nor  impertinence  ;  because 
you  shall  find,  in  nearly  twenty  States,  that 
wherever  color  is  subordinated  to  a  man's 
interests,  he  can  eat  with  color,  and  sleep 
with  color,  and  ride  with  color,  and  do 
everything  with  color. — Morning  Seimon, 
July  17,  1859. 


A  PAINTER  undertakes  to  paint  a  por- 
,,    .    .  trait  of  my    friend.     When   he    has 

Coming  it  -' 

drawn  the  outline  of  the  head,  I  say,  "  You 
have  the  right  idea."     After  he  has  laid  on 

78 


Eat  \vith 

Color 
and  sleep 
with  Color 


io8  Pulpit   Pungencies  no 

the  dead  coloring,  I  say,  "  I  think  I  see 
what  you  are  going  to  do."  I  step  into  his 
studio  just  after  he  has  marked  out  the 
features,  and  I  say,  "  That's  coming  it." — 
Morning  Sermon,  April  24,  1859. 


I  THINK  every  man  who  is  not  a  com-  Everyman 
not  a 
mentator  must  know  what  Paul  meant.  Commenta- 
tor 

— Morning  Sermo7i,  November  6,  1859. 


w 


HEN  a  church  was  about  to  be  built 
in  a  certain  town,  the  people  were 


Compro- 

divided  with  reference  to  where  it  should      ""'^^ 
stand,  and  the  minister  had  to  preach  a   \'ive"ipf 
very  strong  sermon  on  the  subjedl.     This 
sermon   had    the   desired   effe6l.     It  even 
brought  tears  to  the  eyes  of  the  deacons — 
and  it  is  a  good  sign  when  deacons  cry. 
The  next  morning  one  deacon   called   on 
another,  and  said  to  him,  "  Our  minister  is 
right,  and  we  are  imperiling  the  cause  of 
Christ  by  our  dissension,  and  I  have  come 
to  tell  you  that  we  must  compromise  ;  and 
now,  you  must  give  up,  for  I  can't" — Morn- 
ing Sermon^  May  29,  1859. 
79 


1 1 1  Pulpit    Pungencies  112 


I 


N  some  lands  a  man  is  considered  very 
rich   if  he   has    twenty-five  thousand 
Compromise  dollars.     In  other  lands  fifty  thousand  dol- 

on 

^^100,000  lars  makes  a  man  so  rich  that  he  scarcely 
feels  any  motives  for  further  accumulation. 
In  other  countries  it  requires  a  hundred 
thousand  dollars  to  make  a  man  rich.  I 
suppose  that  the  average  of  this  congrega- 
tion would  compromise  on  a  hundred  thou- 
sand dollars — principally,  however,  because 
they  do  not  expe6l  half  or  a  quarter  of  that 
sum  ! — Evening  Serniony  Fcbntary  5,  i860. 


water 


I 


THINK   I   can   show  ambitious  men, 
who  seek  political  preferments,   their 
Island      types  on  the  sea-shore,   on  Coney   Island, 
for  instance.    There  you  will  see  old,  worth- 
less sticks  of  drift-wood  come  rolling  in  on 
the  crest  of  some  wave :  these  are  now  the 
types  of  political  men  coming  into  power. 
In    the   course   of   a  year  or  so  they  are 
sucked  out  into  the  sea  again  by  the  ebb- 
ing and  flowing  of  the  tide :  then  they  are 
types  of  political  men  going  out  of  power ; 
and  whether  coming  in  or  going  out,  they 
80 


Too  much 
Conscience 


1 1 2  Ptilpit  Pungencies  1 1 5 

are  merely  old,  decayed  water-logs,  which 
are  fit  for  nothing,  not  even  to  be  burned. 
— Moiimig  Sermon,  May  8,  1850. 


I  HAVE  seen  men  that  had  a  great  deal 
too  much  conscience.  Their  con- 
science stood  in  the  way  of  their  useful- 
ness. One  of  our  noblest  poets  told  me 
that  he  would  be  much  more  useful  if  he 
had  not  such  a  supersensitive  conscience. — 
Evening  Sermon^  November  6,  1859, 


SNOW  is  conservative  rain.     It  is  good 
to   keep  ;    and   it   is    good   for   little  coa""'"'' 
else  until  it  stops  being  snow,  and  comes 
to  be  rain. — Morning  Sermon,  December  4, 

1859 


sei-vative 
rain 


T 


HE    importation   and   exportation   of      -vvares 
wares  contraband  to  heaven  is  cfoing    to"heaven 


on  all  the  time ! — Morning  Sermon,  October 
16,  1859. 

81 


and 
dogs 


I  always 
Cotton  to 
the  rich 


1 1 6  Pulpit  Pungencies  1 1 8 

COPYISTS  are  not  artists,  any  more 
,„H  than  a  dog  is  an  artist  because  he 

draws  a  Httle  baby  in  a  wagon  behind  him ! 
— Morning  Sennony  March  1 1 ,  1 860. 


I  HAVE  known  a  good  many  of  these 
rich  men !  I  always  cotton  to  the 
rich !  I  always  make  friends  with  them, 
that  I  may  find  out  what  sort  of  men  they 
are,  what  kind  of  a  life  they  live,  and  how 
they  enjoy  themselves !  I  was  very  much 
struck  by  a  fa6l  that  was  related  to  me 
of  a  very  rich  man — he  is  well  known  in 
New  York,  but  I  will  not  mention  his 
name — by  his  agent.  Said  he,  "  I  have 
often  heard  him  turn  in  his  bed  in  the 
night,  saying,  '  Oh  God  !  oh  God  !  oh  God  ! 
When  will  it  be  morning!'"  It  did  me 
good  ! — Evening  Sermon,  February  10,  i860. 


Y 


'OU   have   taken    notice  that  in  New 
York  it  makes  a  great  difference  be- 

N"cw  Vorlc 

Courts     fore  what   court  you  bring  a  case  at  law. 
There    are    different    judges    in    different 
courts,  and  justice  varies,  pradlically,  with 
82 


ii8  Pulpit  P^mgencies  120 

the  men  who  decree  it.  You  can  obtain 
an  acquittal  at  one  court,  while  you  would 
get  a  conviaion  at  another.  When  a  man 
has  a  case  to  be  tried,  therefore,  he  wishes 
it  to  come  before  that  court  whose  verdi6l 
will  suit  him. — Morning  Sermon,  November 
27,  1859, 

PERSONS    do    a   great   deal   of  unre- 
quited Christian  work  here,  one  with  . 

>■  One  winter 

another,  which  does  not  seem  to  produce  to  cmck  the 
any  fruit.  I  think  it  will  bear  fruit  in 
heaven.  They  will  see  it  there.  You  know 
that  if  you  plant  peach  stones,  they  do  not 
come  up  the  same  year.  It  always  re- 
quires one  winter  to  crack  the  shell— 
Wednesday  Eventing  Lecture y  November  16, 

1859. 

IF  you  cut  off  a  branch  of  a  tree,  and 
immediately  bandage  it,  so  as  not  to 
allow  the  air  to  get  at  the  wound,  it  will 
grow  again;  but  if  you  crack  a  crystal  friendship 
vase,  no  growing  process  in  creation  will 
repair  the  damage.  It  is  cracked  glass 
83 


Hot  water 

oa  a 

Cracked 


I20  PtUpit   Pungencies  122 

forever  and  forever.  Nothing  will  take  out 
the  crack.  Now,  although  a  cracked  friend- 
ship, like  a  cracked  tumbler,  may  be  ce- 
mented, the  moment  you  put  it  into  hot 
water  the  bottom  will  fall  out,  or  it  will 
come  to  pieces  ! — Evenijig  Sermon,  Janu- 
ary 29,  i860. 


PERSONS    that    are    fretful    in    youth 
and   in    middle   age    are   usually    so 
out  of     through  old  age,  and  they  go  croaking  to 
the  end  of  their  days,  when,  reptile-like, 
they  crawl  out  of  life. — AlorniJig  Sermon, 
July  24,  1859. 


I 


SAY   that   the   idea   of  removing   the 

free   colored    people    of    the    United 

in  his      States,  when  you  look  at  it  from  the  stand- 
pocket  .         -      ...     -  .     . 

pomt  01  political  economy,  is   insanity  ;  it 

is  pocket  insanity ;  arid  it  is  enough  to  send 

a  man  to  the  asylum  for  life,  to  be  crazy  in 

his    pocket ! — Morning  Sermon,   July    1 7, 

1859. 

84 


w 


Pulpit  Pungencies  1 2  5 

HAT  if  a  person  going  on  a  journey 
of  five  years  should  undertake  to 


carry    provisions,    and    clothes,    and    gold    Creation 

at  his 

enough  to  last  him  during  the  whole  time,      ^acki 
lugging  them  as  he  traveled  like  a  veritable 
Englishman,  with  all  creation  at  his  back ! 
— Morning  Sernioji,  December  18,  1859. 


N 


OW,  God  gives  every  man  a  circular 
letter  of  credit  for  life,   and    says. 


Credit 


"  Whenever  you  get  to  a  place  where  you     letter  of 
need   assistance,    take   your   letter   to    the 
Banker,  and  the  needed  assistance  will  be 
given   you." — Morning    Sermon,    December 
18,  1859. 

A  COMMAND  also  given  in  the  Bible, 
which  seems  strange,  to  children 
especially,  whether  ungrown  or  grown,  is 
this  :  "  Be  ye  angry  and  sin  not ;  let  not  ^^^^^^ 
the  sun  go  down  upon  your  wrath."  .Now, 
parents  are  perpetually  telling  their  child- 
ren that  it  is  sinful  to  be  angry,  and  when 
they  come  to  read  in  the  Bible,  "  Be  ye 
angry  and  sin  not,"  it  seems  to  them  as 
8S 


As  though 

the  thing 

were 


125  Pulpit  Pungencies  128 

though  the  thing  were  cross-ploughed  and 
turned  up  by  the  roots. — Morning  Sennon, 
May  15,  1859. 

OUFFERING    is    curative    when    it  is 

later"      *^     appUed    early,    when    men    are    not 

men  Crusty  vcry  wickcd  ;  but  taken  later,  it  makes  men 

crusty. — Morning  Sermoriy  yanuary  g,  1859. 


A 


NY   man   who    has   a    family    round 
about  him,  whatever  it  may  cost  in 

Reading 

prayers  thc  beginning,  will  do  wisely  to  take  up 
^wkh^  family  prayer.  As  to  reading  of  it  from 
Crutches  ^  book,  cvcry  man  must  have  his  own 
liberty.  It  is  better  to  read  than  not  to 
pray ;  but  it  is  still  better  to  read  from 
your  own  religious  experience  than  from 
any  other  volume.  A  man  who  walks  with 
crutches  is  better  than  a  man  who  does 
not  walk  at  all. — Evening  Sermon^  May 
I,  1859. 

MEN  that  are  bad  have,  I  say,  a  2:reat 
many   good  thmgs   m   and   about 

Cutwater?  ^      ^  ^ 

them  ;  but  the  question  is  not  whether  a 
S6 


128  Pulpit  Pungencies  130 

man  has  some  good  or  some  bad.  The 
best  men  have  enough  that  is  bad,  and  the 
worst  men  have  some  good.  The  question 
is,  What  should  be  the  cutwater  ? — Morning 
Sermon,  ynne  12,  1859. 

CYPHER  both  ways,  not  only  toward 
heaven,   but  also   toward   hell ;  and     Cv^her 

'  '  both 

make  up  your  mind  what  you  will  do  from      "^'^^'^ 
a  comprehensive  calculation,  and  not  a  par- 
tial  and  flattering  one. — Evening  Sermon, 
December  18,  1859. 

THEREFORE  although  I   would  not 
speak  contemptuously  of  any  form  Cjpherings 

for 

of  words  that  may  have  become  endeared  salvation 
to  any  man's  experience,  yet  I  may  say,  so 
far  as  my  own  experience  is  concerned,  I 
utterly  abhor  such  terms  as  "  God's  plan," 
and  as  the  "  plan  of  salvation  ; "  as  though 
there  had  been  endless  cypherings,  plan- 
nings,  fixings  and  arrangements,  and  at  last 
there  was  something  devised,  and  God's 
heart  uplifted  salvation. — Evening  Sermon, 
July  10,  1859. 

^7 


131  Pulpit  Pungencies  134 


TIIROUG 
Jew  wa 


.OUGHOUT  medieval  Europe  the 
Every  ■*'  Jcw  was  the  cui'sing  block  of  man  : 
wants      for  you  know  everybody  wants   somebody 

somebody 

to  Damn!  to  swear  at ;  every  nation  wants  somebody 
to  curse  ;  every  church  wants  somebody  to 
damn. — Morning  Sermon,  March  4,  i860. 


I 


KNOW    innocent    men    who   do   not 
Tbey       X      hesitate    to    take    the    name   of   God 

never 
would 


Damn  it 


I  will  tell 
you  all 


in  vain.  They  never  would  say,  "  Damn 
it!"  but  they  do  not  hesitate  to  say,  "Oh, 
Lord  ! "  which  is  no  better. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, November  20,  1859. 


YOU  may  wink  at  wickedness,  but  God 
w..a.  y.,..  won't   wink   at   it.      Whatever   you 

will  c;ct, 

and  that    think  you  will    cret,   I   will   tell   you  what 

Damnation  !    y^^    ^y^jj    gg^    j£  y^^    g^^g    ^p    ^j-^^    righteOUS- 

ness   of  God,    and   that  is,   damnation  ! — 
Evening  Sermon,  June  12,  1859. 

THERE  are  a  great  many  persons  who 
troubles  aa  as  if  they  thought  petty  troubles 

were  a  luxury  ;  and  they  seem  never  to  be 
satisfied  without  them.     They  nurse  their 
%Z     ■ 


134  Pnlpil  Pungencies  137 

annoyances,  and  dandle  them,  as  it  were, 
on  their  knee,  seeming  determined  to  bring 
out  of  them  all  they  have  in  them. — Morn- 
ing Sermon,  yiily  24,  1859. 


D 


O  not  be  angry  by  the  day.     Be  angry 
when  there  is  a  just  cause  for  it,  but      Don't 

be  anr.rv 

get  over  it  as  speedily  as  possible.     A  man  by  the  Day 
could  not  live  and  be  in  a  constant  blaze  of 
anger.     It  is  only  now  and  then  that  one 
can  afford  to  be  angry. — Morning  Sermon, 
May  15,  1859. 


o 


LD   Saxon  words  are  Day  of  Judg- 


ment words  ;   they  are  like  double-     Day  of 

Judi^incnt 

edged  swords,  and  cut  where  they  hit.  But  words 
when  we  come  to  speak  of  evil,  we  must 
have  Latin,  or  some  soft  language.  I  think 
it  will  take  two  or  three  languages  for  us 
to  get  along  with,  soon. — Evening  Sermon, 
May  15,  1859. 

THE  active  period,  even  in  the  case  of 
the  longest-lived  men,  is  only  about 
forty-five  years.     Now,  consider  what  this 

89 


alive 


137  Pulpit   Pungencies  139 

period  of  forty-five  years  is  made  up  of,  and 

^Dead*^^    how  much  usable  there  is  in  it.     There  is 

of  the      a  tax  of  eight  hours  out  of  every  twenty- 
time  that  .  •  1        r  1 

you  are  four,  to  begin  With,  for  sleep.  You  are 
dead  one  full  third  of  the  time  that  you 
are  alive! — Evening  Sennon,  December  25, 
1859. 


I    CAN  find  a  charity  in  my  heart  for  all 
^:,xuu  creatures  of  guilt  except  the  various 

the 

DevH  men  who  sin  deliberately  against  their  fel- 
low-men, to  consume  them.  Such  I  regard 
as  I  do  the  devil ! — Evening  Sermon,  Feb- 
ruary 12,  i860. 


I 


NEVER  saw  a  man  bribe  himself  to 
Devil-      ^     use  a  wicked  thing,  that  did  not  after- 
and       ward  falsify  and  perjure  himself     When  a 

Devil-  .  ,       .  r     ,  .       ,  •     1 

damned  man  goes  mto  a  business  of  this  kmd, 
thinking  he  will  do  it  for  the  means  of 
doing  good,  oh,  how  devil-duped  he  is,  that 
he  may  be  devil-damned  ! — Evening  Ser- 
mon, Jnne  12,  1859. 

90 


ideas 


Devil-talk 


140  Pulpit   Pungencies  141 

I  SUPPOSE  there  is  nothing  more  oflfen- 
sive  to  men  than  steaUng,  where  the 
rights  of  property  are  involved.  Our  ideas  dSTr' 
of  stealing  are  perpendicular,  and  a  thou- 
sand feet  high.  There  is  nothing  like  steal- 
ing to  us.  It  is  enough  to  doom  a  man  to 
perdition.  But  lying  is  not  supposed  to  be 
so  very  bad  ;  and  these  men  who  would  not 
let  a  person  vary  a  hair  from  rectitude  on 
the  subject  of  property,  when  it  comes  to 
his  word,  when  it  comes  to  his  use  of  de- 
ception as  a  means  of  getting  property,  do 
not  think  he  need  be  over  scrupulous. 
They  say,  **  We  must  be  moderate  in  our 
ideas  of  veracity  when  we  are  engaged  in 
commercial  matters.  When  we  are  anions: 
Romans,  we  must  do  as  Romans  do  ; "  and 
all  that  kind  of  devil-talk. — Morning  Scr- 
mo7t,  yiine  26,  1859. 


A   LL  along  the  shores  of  life  I  see  men 
-^~^     in   middle   life   lay   themselves  up ;      \l^ 
and  there  they  lie  shrinking  and  cracking,    ^^Sie"^^' 
good  for  nothing  on  sea  or  on  land.     Now, 
91 


141  Ptdpii   Pungencies  144 

if  anybody  wants  to  retire,  die ! — Evening 
Sermon,  Jnly  17,  1859. 

AVOID  falsehood  in  all  its  varied  forms, 
"I don't  '^'^^  ^  repeat,  if  you  sin  at  all,  sin  on 

eS'irt!"  the  side  of  truth.  Where  men  give  you 
permission  to  do  wrong,  let  it  be  as  though 
they  gave  you  permission  to  eat  dirt.  If 
you  were  told  that  you  may  eat  dirt,  you 
would  say,  "  I  don't  want  to  eat  dirt,  and  I 
won't  touch  it." — Morning  Sermon,  J'nne 
26,  1859. 

EVERYBODY  sits  in  judgment  on  a 
xjirry  dirty  sin  ;  but  clean  it,  dress  it,  and 


sin 


and       polish  it,  and  there  are  ten  thousand  people 

bum  i  shed 

iniquity  who  thluk  it  is  not  so  sinful,  after  all.  It  is 
ragged  iniquity  that  is  sinful ;  burnished 
iniquity  is  not  quite  so  wicked. — Evening 
Sermon y  May  15,  1859. 

I  have      ^  1  ^HERE    is    no   voice   in    nature   that 

DiSnd      -^       teaches  me  that  God  cares  for  me, 

God°scare   cxccpt  as  hc  carcs  f^r  chestnut  burrs,  and 

fungi,    and   vines,    and   bees,    and  insects. 

92 


144  Pitlpit  Ptmgencies  145 

God  cares  for  nature,  and  cares  for  me  as  a 
part  of  nature.  As  a  part  of  nature,  I  have 
my  dividend  of  God's  care  and  thought. — 
Morning  SennoUy  October  2,   1859. 


F 


OR  instance,  on  Sunday  a  man  wor- 
ships  God, .  sings    to    God,   prays  to     when  i 


Do 


God,  carries   around  the   contribution  box     rehvion, 

'  I  Do 

for  God's  sake,  takes  the  sacrament  for  God,  ''^'^s'o" 
keeps  a  sober  face  for  God,  walks  slowly  to 
church  and  home  again  for  God,  and  ab- 
stains from  reading  the  newspaper  for  God  ; 
but  when  he  has  done  all  these  things  for 
God,  and  the  sun  is  down,  "  Now,"  he  says, 
"  I  have  got  through  with  my  religion  for 
to-day.  To-morrow  I  am  going  into  the 
world  again."  And  what  are  you  going  to 
do  .^  "  Why,  I  have  a  caucus  to  attend, 
and  such  and  such  a  man  to  ele6t."  But 
you  are  a  Christian  man,  the  head  of  a 
Christian  household,  and  a  member  of  the 
Christian  church.  "  Oh,  don't  talk  to  me 
about  rehgion.  Religion  is  religion,  and 
the  world  and  politics  are  different  affairs 
altogether.  When  I  do  religion,  I  do  reli- 
93 


145  Pulpit   Pungencies  146 

gion  ;  and  when  I  take  care  of  the  world,  I 
take  care  of  the  world." — Morning  Sermofiy 
September  18,  1859. 


I 


F  you  were  to  ask  our  bankers,  "  Would 
you  associate  with  a  colored  man  ?' 
a'dTy  they  would  straighten  up  with  insulted  dig- 
nity, and  say,  "  I,  that  am  respedlably  con- 
nedled  !  "  But  let  a  colored  man  deposit  in 
a  bank  a  thousand  dollars  on  Monday,  a 
thousand  dollars  on  Tuesday,  and  a  thou- 
sand dollars  on  Wednesday.  Up  to  this 
time  the  banker  consents  to  take  the  money, 
to  be  sure ;  but  he  is  very  unceremonious 
in  his  condu6t  to  his  new  customer.  On 
Thursday  the  man  deposits  a  thousand  dol- 
lars more,  and  a  thousand  dollars  more  on 
Friday.  By  this  time  the  banker  has 
become  a  little  less  reserved  in  his  manner. 
The  man  continues  to  deposit  a  thousand 
dollars  every  day.  On  Saturday,  when  he 
comes,  the  banker  says,  "  Good  morning, 
sir."  On  Monday  the  salutation  he  receives 
is,  "How  do  you  do  this  morning,  sir.?" 
On  Tuesday  it  is,  "  I  am  glad  to  see  you 
94 


146  Pulpit   Pungencies  147 

this  morning,  sir."  On  Wednesday,  "  How 
are  your  family,  sir?"  And,  if  the  deposits 
amount  to  twenty,  or  thirty,  or  forty  thou- 
sand dollars,  "Won't  you  call  upon  me, 
sir  ? "  Ah,  there  are  a  great  many  ways  to 
get  at  men's  consciences ! — Morning  Ser- 
mon, Jnly  17,  1859. 


w 


E   not  unfrequently  hear  men  say, 
"  It  is  easy  for  you,  who  have  a 


■,  ,  ,  Down-hill 

good  constitution  and  a  happy  tempera-  duties 
ment,  and  who  are  agreeably  circum- 
stanced, to  do  thus  and  so ;  but  if  you 
were  as  bilious  as  I  am  ;  if  you  were  as 
sick  as  I  am  ;  if  you  had  to  contend  with 
such  trials  at  home  as  I  have  to  ;  if  you 
were  a  business  man,  and  you  had  such  a 
harassing  business  about  your  heels  as  I 
have  about  mine,  you  would  then  have  as 
much  anxiety  as  I  have,  and  you  would  fret 
as  much  as  I  do.  It  is  very  easy  to  preach, 
much  easier  than  it  is  to  pra6lice."  I 
have  found  that  out,  that  it  is  a  great  deal 
easier  to  preach  than  it  is  to  pra6tice ;  but 
it  is  nevertheless  our  duty  to  pra6lice. 
95 


147  Pulpit   Ptmgencies  149 

God  does  not  exempt  you  from  perform- 
ing all  duties  except  those  which  you  can 
perform  down  hill. — Morning  Sermon,  Au- 
gust 14,  1859. 

T)UBLIC  sentiment  and  law  may  save 
The       ^       a  man  before  he  has  done  wrons:,  but 

^'aytoGod  ° 

they  damn  him  after  he  has  done  wrong. 
But  not  so  with  God.  The  way  to  Him  is 
down  hill.  Up  hill  is  down  hill,  if  it  be 
toward  God!  —  Jllorning  Scnnon,  October 
23,   1859- 


Down  hill 


Y 


OU  shall  hear  it  said  of  a  man  :  "  Ah  ! 
that  is  one  of  the  greatest  men  the 
dozini,'     age  has  ever  produced  ;  a  sound,  a  deep,  a 

dozing 

profound  man  ;  one  of  the  most  admirable 
theologians  of  the  nation  or  the  time.  Pity 
he  hadn't  some  little  knowledge  of  human 
life.  He  never  could  do  anything  in  the 
pulpit.  People  always  went  to  sleep  under 
his  preaching  ;  but  to  those  that  could  keep 
awake,  it  was  so  grand  and  deep.  It  was 
massive  !  He  had  such  great  views  of  truth, 
and  they  were  so  admu"ably  fitted  to  each 

96 


149  Pulpit  Pungencies  151 

other."  That  is  to  say,  a  man  who  essen- 
tially and  totally  misses  the  great  idea  of 
preaching,  that  of  rearing  up  in  men  vital 
sympathy  with  God,  and  producing  in  them 
a  thought  of  the  life  to  come  ;  a  man  who, 
missing  this  great  idea,  so  handles  his  views 
of  truth  that  while  he  is  dozing,  dozing, 
dozing  over  his  manuscript,  his  hearers  are 
dozing,  dozing,  in  their  pews  :  such  an  one 
is  esteemed  to  be  a  very  sound  man ! — 
Morning  Sermony  yanuary  30,  1859. 

'^T  7"  HEN  EVER  profane  oaths  are  em- 

^  ^  ployed  to  enforce  earnestness  or  swears 
express  passion,  you  may  be  sure  it  will  strong 
not  linger  long  in  growth  in  evil  disposi- 
tions. It  is  not  merely  irreverence  ;  a  man 
unconsciously  becomes  profane  in  every 
sense.  When  he  swears  with  his  heart 
and  with  a  strong  draft,  it  will  be  always 
burning  hot. — Evening  Sermon,  May  i,  1869. 


w 


E  go  through  life,  drawing  deep,  so 

Drawing 

that  the  craft  on  both  sides  of  the      deep 


avenue  through  which  we  pass  are  made  to 
97 


151  Pulpit   Pungencies  153 

hop  and  bound  upon  the  waves  we  produce, 
and  so  that  men  fostered  in  prosperity  and 
in  chara6ler  rock  and  grind  at  the  pier, 
and  are  angry  toward  us  ;  and  yet  we  do 
not  know  what  disturbance  we  are  causing. 
— Morning  SermoUy  June  12,  1859. 


WHEN  God  built  this  world,  He  did 
.^-j,jgj^  not  build  a  palace  complete  with 

Driu  world  appointments.  This  is  a  drill  world.  Men 
were  not  dropped  down  upon  it  like  manna, 
fit  to  be  gathered  and  used  as  it  fell ;  but 
like  seeds,  to  whom  the  plow  is  father,  the 
furrow  mother,  and  on  which  iron  and 
stone,  sickle,  flail,  and  mill  must  a6l  before 
they  come  to  the  loaf — Mornijtg  Sermojt, 
September  25,  1859. 


IF  you  are  roused  up  by  the  sight  of 
indi   ation  injusticc,  by  the  sight  of  avarice,  by 

the  sight  of  cruelty,  do  what  you  can  at 
once ;  do  as  the  bolt  docs  when  it  lunges 
at  the  oak ;  but  don't  be,  in  respe6l  to  your 

98 


153  Pulpit    Ptingencies  155 

indignation,  like  a  northeast  storm,  which 
drizzles,  drizzles,  drizzles  from  morning  till 
night. — Morning  Sermon,  August  14,  1859. 


I    DON'T  think  that  conscience  is  apt  to 
be  a  drug  in  the  market.     Some  men    a  Dmg 

^  .  _  in  the 

talk  about  being  over  conscientious  ;  but  I     market 
don't  think  that  is  a  pecuHar  faculty  of  men 
in  the  city  of  New  York. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, yime  12,  I859. 


w 


E  drink,  not  to  gratify  the  palate, 
but  for  a  business  purpose.     That 


to 
Drunk 


Leads 

being  the  case,  we  may  begin  with  the  down 
milder  beverages,  just  as  we  begin  our  fires 
with  pine  shavings,  not  only  because  we 
can  light  them  so  easily,  but  also  because 
we  want  them  to  set  on  fire  something 
solider.  And  wine  is  stepstone  to  brandy. 
Beer  is  stepstone  the  other  way.  It  does 
not  lead  up  to  brandy,  but  it  leads  down  to 
drunk,  and  beastly  drunk. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, November  20,  1859, 
99 


156  Ptdpit  Pimgcficies  158 

DRY  cards  are  very  dry  indeed.     Drink- 
jjry  cards  i^g  and  playing  are  so  nearly  con- 

ne6led,  that  they  court  each  other  as  almost 
intimate  relations  and  inevitable  friends. — 
Evening  Sermon,  Mai'ch  4,  i860. 


I 


Dn- 


Piit  up 


F  there  are  any  men  who  are  too  dry  to 
live,  they  are  those  who  have  their  truth 
all  fixed  and  figured  out,  and  who  say  of  a 
cord'wood  n^a-n  who  has  not  such  systematic  views, 
"  He  is  all  afloat."  Now  I  think  that  a  man 
whose  \^ews  of  truth  are  not  fixed,  but  who 
holds  himself  in  readiness  to  receive  what- 
ever truth  is  presented  to  him,  is  like  a  liv- 
ing tree  that  is  all  open  to  the  stimulating 
influences  of  the  air  ;  and  I  think  that  a 
man  who  has  got  all  his  truths  fixed,  is 
like  a  tree  after  it  has  been  cut  and  split  up 
into  cord  wood  ;  it  is  dead  and  dry.— J/<?;7/- 
ing  Sermon,  April  24,  1859. 


H 


OW  is  it  that  we  think  of  God  in  con- 
Dumb  book    -*-  4-     nection  with  catechism,  and  dumb 
Dumb  house  book,  and  dumb  house,  but  do  not  think  of 
Him  in  connection  with  the  living  voices 
100 


158  P  7  dp  it   Pungencies  159 

of   nature? — Morjiiiig   Sermoji,     yuly     10, 
1859. 

THE  same  terrible  instinct  that  is  in 
many  birds  of  prey,  by  which  they 
have  a  palate  for  carrion,  and  scent  it  afar  over^dover 
off,  seems  to  be  in  the  bosoms  of  a  great  Dmg^hiS  of 
many  men  in  the  world.  The  first  hint  of 
scandal  is  like  the  wine  of  intoxication  to 
them.  Their  eyes  begin  to  turn,  and  they 
exhibit  the  intensest  curiosity.  "  How 
shall  the  thing  be  found  out .' "  they  say  to 
themselves.  "  How  shall  it  be  opened  up  } 
How  shall  the  parties  involved  be  identified 
and  convicted  t "  And  so  they  chase  after 
it,  and  watch  it,  and  lurk  to  find  it  out. 
And  if,  when  they  have  found  it  out,  it 
proves  to  be  as  bad  as  they  thought  it  was, 
it  is  a  real  luxury  to  them.  It  does  them 
good  to  their  very  bones.  They  are  hearti- 
ly glad.  They  do  rejoice  in  evil.  Nothing 
gives  them  half  so  much  pleasure.  They 
mourn  over  \'irtue  as  a  cold  thing.  They 
slide  down  the  sides  of  it  as  men  slide 
down  the  sides  of  frozen  mountains.     To 

lOI 


159  Pulpit  Pungencies  162 

roll  over  and  over  upon  the  dung-hill  of 
vice  is  their  chief  delight. — Evening  Ser- 
mon,  December  ^,  1859. 


NO  man  ever  used  vulgar  language  but 
his    soul   also  became  vulgar ;  and 

weeds  on  a  .      .     ,         ,    .  ,   .      ,      ,   .  ,  , 

Dung-hill  once  nidulged  m,  this  habit  grows  as  rankly 
as  weeds  on  a  dung-hill. — Evening  Sermon^ 
May  I,  1859. 


IT  is  edifying  to  hear  a  demagogue  rail 
jLduying  at  men  who  have  no  love  of  country, 

at  selfish  men,  at  men  who  wish  to  dupe 
the  people  ! — Evening  Sermon^  February 
12,  i860. 


I  DO  not  feel  bound  to  think  that  I  shall 
be  a  counterfeiter,  a  burglar,  or  a  pirate. 
I  do  not  feel  bound  to  say  to  myself,  "  I 
shall  be  as  mean  as  if  I  were  a  religious 
editor,  and  as  corrupt  as  if  I  were  a  poli- 
tician."— Morning  Sermon^  January  23,1859. 
102 


Mean 

as  a 

relit!;ious 

Editor 


163  Pulpit    Pungencies  165 


M 


EN  do  not  come  into  life  full-born. 
Childhood  is  but  an  ^gg  laid,  to  be  childhood 
hatched  by  human  life.     Man  comes  into       but 

an  Egg 

the  world  unfledged,  and  he  has  to  work 
his  way  up  through  the  exterior  shell  of 
ignorance,  before  he  can  peep  or  fly. — 
Morning  Sermon^  October  30,  1859. 

THIS  man,  who  has  lived  sixty  or  sixty- 
five  years  without  exhibiting  hate  or  The  Egg 
revenge,  now  says,  "As  God  is  my  judge,  the  bird 
I  will  not  rest  till  I  have  avenged  my 
child."  Murder  is  in  his  footsteps,  and  the 
bitterness  of  deadly  hate  is  in  his  heart. 
He  did  not  know,  till  now,  that  they  were 
there.  You  never  can  tell  by  the  way  an 
^gg  looks  what  kind  of  a  bird  will  come 
out  of  it :  it  may  be  eagle  ;  it  may  be  vult- 
ure.— Morning  Sermon,  January  23,  1859. 


I 


T  is  a  sign  of  progress  that  opinions  in 
the  North  have  been  steadily  rising 


for  the  last  ten  years,  in  spite  of  the  press-    ^"^ '  ^ 
ure  brought  to  bear  to  make  men  call  evil 
truth,  and  vice  virtue.     I  look  back  with 
103 


165  Pulpit    ru)io;cucics  167 

unspeakable  gladness,  lh(ni<;h  not  with  any 
pride,  to  the  day  when  I  was  called  to 
choose.  On  one  side  was  a  despised  mi- 
nority, an  ei;g-sanctified  minority  ;  on  the 
other  side  were  learning,  wisdom,  and 
influence.  —  Evciiiiig  Scn)ion,  May  15, 
1859. 


A   NY    notion    of  God   that   takes  away 
God       -P^     this  wide-swinging  and  far-resound- 

iiot 

Emasculate  ing  thuudcr  of  indignation,  leaves  Ilim 
emasculate,  feeble,  unfit  for  heaven,  and 
unfit  for  earth.  —  Jlfoniing  Scrniou,  J\Tay 
15,   I859. 


AT  ATURE  is  said  to  abhor  a  vacuum  ; 
^  ^  but  she  does  not  half  so  much  as 
men  hate  to  be  emptied  before  God  of  their 
Emptied  conscious  Spiritual  excellencies.  l^ad  men, 
when  assailed  by  reasons  of  goodness,  are 
not  half  so  virulent  as  men  occupying  a  low 
platform  when  asssailcd  by  a  higher  plat- 
form.— Illonii/ig  Sermon y  March  27,  1859. 
104 


Men 
hate 
to  be 


1 68  Pulpit  Pungencies  172 

IV ,  in  your  proplicsyini;,  you  take  God's 
commandments,  and  turn  them  end  for  ^'^"'^  for  End 
end,  you  will  find  yourself  prophesy  lies. — 
Morning  Sermon,  yune  26,  1859. 


'HE  wise  men  are  those  that  come  out 
best  at  the  other  end,  not  those  that 


TJ 
The  otlier 

and  tliis 

dance  the  nimblest  at  this  end. — Evcnin<r       ^""^ 


Sermon^  February  lO,  i860. 


EVER  lived  a  man  to  more  purpose 
in  the  life  that  now  is  than  Paul  did. 


N"  " "    i'"'l ^         Christ 

in    fh(^  liff'   tlint-  nnvv  ic   fhnn   Pnnl   rlirl  ""' 

only  a 

Christ  was  not  to  him  only  a  royal  engineer    Engmeer 
who  eighteen  hundred  years  ago  cast  up  a 
highway  of  salvation  from  earth  to  heaven. 
— Morning  Sermon,  February  19,  i860. 


G 


OD  has  a  million  men  who  know  how 

How 

to  enjoy  good  health,  where  he  has    *'?  !"'"j"y 


one   who  knows    how  to  enjoy  sickness. — 
Morning  Sermon,  yune  5,  1859. 


sickness 


T 


HI'^RE  never  was  such  a  family  borne     Christ's 


arms 


on  the  heart  of  a  man  as  our  Saviour       '.'i^e 

an  Lqualor 

bore  on  His  heart   when   He  was  in  this 
105 


172  Pulpit    Pungencies  174 

world,  and  as  He  bears  on  His  heart  still. 
His  arms  were  and  are  stretched  around  the 
world  like  an  equator. — Evening  Sermon, 
Nov  em  ber  2,  1859. 


*    S  ye  have  opportunity,  do  good  unto 


A^ 


That 
"  E^peci- 

^^Y\    pecially  unto  them  who  are  of  the  house- 
was  dead     *■  ■J 

long  ago  j^^i^  of  faith;"  but  that  "especially"  was 
dead  long  ago. — Morning  Sermo7i,  October 
16,  1859. 


SUPPOSE  you  are  needy,  suppose  you 
are  about  to  be  pitched  out  of  the 
'ofthe°"    establishment,    suppose    you    don't    know 

Establish-  ,    .,       "l  ,  , 

ment  where  to  get  your  daily  bread  or  how  to 
pay  for  your  clothes,  suppose  you  have  no 
friends,  God  Almighty  is  on  your  side ; 
and  do  you  believe  He  will  not  supply  your 
wants,  when  He  cares  for  the  birds  of  the 
air,  when  He  has  sprinkled  the  Bible  all 
over  with  promises? — Evening  Sermon, 
May  8,  1859. 

106 


175  Pulpit  Pungencies  177 

THE  idea  of  our  expatriating  a  million 
(.  y  Expatria- 

of  laboring    men   is   a   fancy   born       tion 

in  the  brain  of  a  fool,  and  the  father  of  it 
is  the  devil! — Morning  Sermon,  July  i7> 
1859. 

NOW,  suppose  I  should  fall  into  a  con- 
troversy with  a  man,  and  should 
adroitly  deceive  him ;  and  suppose,  after  Exquisite 
having  done  it,  I  should  come  before  you, 
and  say,  "  I  told  an  exquisite  lie  yesterday. 
I  did  not  tell  it  selfishly,  however ;  I  told 
it  for  a  wise  purpose,  and  it  inured  to  the 
benefit  of  the  truth."  How  many  of  you 
would  admire  me  for  owning  that  I  had 
told  a  permissible  X\^}— Morning  Sermon, 
Jnne  26,  1859. 

I  LIKE  to  see  a  hard-working,  honest 
man,  especially  if  he  has  had  some 
dirty  calling — a  butcher,  a  tallow  chandler, 
or  a  dealer  in  fish  oil ;  I  like  to  see  such  a 
man,  when  by  dint  of  honest  industry  he 
gets  rich,  build  him  a  house  in  the  best 
neighborhood  in  the  place,  and  build  it 
107 


Fat 

to  the 

very 

marrow 


177  Pulpit   Pungencies  179 

so  that  everybody  says,  "  O,  what  a  fine 
house  ;  it  is  better  taste  than  we  exiDe6led." 
That  does  me  good ;  makes  me  fat  to  the 
very  marrow. — Evening  Sermon,  May  8, 
1859. 


/^^  OD  has  made  this  world  as  a  splendid 

^^^     chariot,  that  His  children  may  ride 

Father  '  as  princcs.     The  horses   serve   them,  the 

and  mother 

ride  chariot  serves  them,  and  the  driver  serves 
them  ;  and,  best  of  all,  father  and  mother 
ride  with  them  to  take  care  of  them. — 
Morning  Sermon,  April  10,  1859. 


with  them 


W 


Mr. 


man 


HILE  men  stood  out  of  his  path, 

and  turned  to  look  back  admiringly 

Fat-soul    after  him,  and  to  say  to  the  stranger  newly 

the 

topmost  come  to  town,  **  Knowest  thou  who  that  is  t 
That  is  the  great  and  wealthy  Mr.  Fat- 
soul" — amid  all  these  congratulations,  and 
admirations,  and  human  praises,  there  were 
others  looking  at  him,  and  expressing 
opinions  about  him  not  quite  so  compli- 
mentary. For  God  and  holy  angels  looked 
down  upon  his  gross  abundance,  upon  his 
108 


179  Pulpit  Pungencies  i8o 

fat  and  dozing  ease,  and  upon  his  arrogant 
self-gratulations  ;  and  God  calmly  said  to 
this  man,  who  stood  so  large,  who  was  so 
prospered,  and  who,  very  likely,  was  the 
topmost  man  of  the  whole  circle  in  which 
he  moved,  '*  Thou  fool,  this  night  thy  soul 
shall  be  required  of  thee." — Evening  Scr- 
mon,  yamiary  15,  i860. 

IF  a  man,  while  out  on  a  pleasure  drive, 
takes  a  road  that  leads  him  through 
low  grounds,  which  are  beautiful,  to  be 
sure,  but  which  consist  of  forests  and  mo- 
rasses filled  with  gadflies  and  mosquitos, 
that  sting  him  and  vex  him  almost  beyond 
endurance,  you  say,  "  He  won't  go  that  road 
again."  No,  he  won't,  bodily.  But  a  man 
may  go  down  into  life,  and  may  drive 
through  a  morass  of  trouble,  where  gad- 
flies and  mosquitos  of  vexation  come  about 
him,  and  sting  him,  and  torment  him  ;  and 
won't  he  go  that  way  again.?  The  old, 
stupid  fellow  will  whip  his  horse  right  down 
that  same  road  the  very  next  day. — Morii- 
ing  Sermon,  yidy  29,  1859. 
109 


The  old, 
stupid 
Fellow 


i8i  Pulpit  Pungencies  182 

HE  opened  his  mouth,  and  taught 
them,  saying,  Blessed  are" — oh, 

Fellows  ^         •\        ,1     ^  •  •    •  -I       •  •  1 

afraid      who  ? — "  the  poor  m  spirit :   theirs  is  the 

to  say 

their^soui  kingdom  of  heaven.  Blessed  are  they  that 
mourn :  they  shall  be  comforted.  Blessed 
are  the  meek " — what !  those  spiritless  fel- 
lows, with  white  faces,  that  go  about  afraid 
to  say  their  soul  is  their  own  ? — Morning 
Sermon^  February  19,  i860. 


their  own 


I 


T  was  not  God's  plan  that  the  ark 
should  be  the  refuge  of  the  human  race 
Femage^  lougcr  than  uutil  the  deluge  had  passed 
away  ;  but  if  Noah  and  his  descendants 
had  afterward  built  arks  upon  the  hills  and 
rocks,  and  attempted  to  crowd  all  the 
people  and  animals  on  the  earth  into  them, 
their  folly  would  not  have  been  greater 
than  is  that  of  those  who  are  attempting  to 
crowd  back  the  gathering  forces  of  the 
nations  into  institutions,  which  were  only 
designed  to  give  them  a  temporary  ferriage 
while  the  deluge  of  an  immoral  common 
sense  should  last. — Thanksgiving  Sermon^ 
November  2^,  1859. 

no 


183  Pulpit  Pungencies  183 


H 


OW  many  men  are  there  of  whom 
we  hear  those  profoundest  philoso- 


The 


phers  of  human  nature  in  these  modern      lobby 
times,  leofislators  of  the  lobby,  say  :  Gratitude 

-^  •'  will 

"Can  A  be  had?"  Fetch  him 

"Easily,  easily.  One  hundred  and  fifty 
or  two  hundred  dollars  will  do  for  him." 

"Can  B  be  had?" 

"  I  think  he  can.  He  don't  want  money, 
but  he  has  got  a  son,  or  a  son-in-law,  who 
wants  office ;  and  I  think  that  by  a  little 
dexterous  movement  he  can  be  secured." 

"Can  C  be  had?" 

"  C  is  a  more  difficult  man  to  deal  with  ; 
but  I  think  that  if  a  man  goes  to  him,  and 
tells  him  he  shan't  go  the  way  you  wish 
him  tOj  his  conscience  may  be  pushed 
through  his  obstinacy." 

"Can  D  be  had?" 

"  Yes  ;  I  think  there  will  be  no  trouble 
with  D.  He  don't  think  about  these  things. 
All  you  have  to  do  is  to  see  that  you  send 
the  right  man  to  him." 

"Can  E  be  had?" 

"  E  is  a  difficult  case ;  but  I  think  I 
III 


The 

lobby 


183  Pulpit   Pungencies  184 

know  how  you  can  get  him.     Find  a  man 
who  is  his  friend,  and  let  that  man  go  and 
make  the  request  on  the  ground  of  friend- 
Gratitude   ship.     Or  let  Judge  Reed,  to  whom  he  is 

will 

Fetch  him  under  great  obligations,  go  to  him,  and 
gratitude  will  fetch  him.  He  won't  con- 
sent under  any  other  conditions." 

"  Can  F  be  had." 

"  Yes,  F  can  be  had  ;  but  he  requires  to 
be  in  a  royal  mood  when  he  is  approached 
on  the  subject.  He  should  be  taken  at  the 
supper,  when  everything  is  genial,  and  he 
is  at  the  height  of  his  good  nature.  He 
cannot  refuse  then  ;  and  when  he  says  he 
will  go,  he  will  go." 

Thus,  when  the  devil  fishes,  he  prepares 
his  bait  according  to  what  he  is  going  to 
catch. — Alorning  Sermon,  January  23, 
1859. 

"  I  ^HE  stomach  of  a  gluttonous  man  may 
\"^riSs^  ^^  likened  to  the  old  witches'  caul- 

fo/tS    '^^on  of  which  we  read,  which  had  ingre- 
dients from  the  lower  regions  fermenting  in 
it,  and  around  which  the  witches  danced, 
112 


Stealing 


184  Pulpit   Pungencies  186 

having  infernal  sprites  to  fiddle  for  them. — 
Morning  Sermon,  yuly  24,  1859. 

THERE  was  a  man,  in  the  town  where 
I  was  born,  who  used  to  steal  all  his 
fire-wood.  He  would  get  up  on  cold  nights,  Fire-wood 
and  go  and  take  it  from  his  neighbors' 
wood  piles.  A  computation  was  made,  and 
it  was  ascertained  that  he  spent  more  time, 
and  worked  harder,  to  get  his  fuel,  than  he 
would  have  been  obliged  to  if  he  had  earned 
it  in  an  honest  way,  and  at  ordinary  wages. 
And  this  thief  was  a  type  of  thousands  of 
men  who  work  a  great  deal  harder  to  please 
the  devil  than  they  would  have  to  work  to 
please  God. — Momiiig  Sermon,  December 
18,  1859. 

YOU  shall  hear  it  said  of  an  emotive 
man  who  preaches  to  his  congrega- 
tion in  the  le6lure  room,  "  That  man  is  a  ^'and^' 
revivalist.  He  is,  no  doubt,  a  popular  preaching 
preacher  ;  but  then,  he  don't  understand 
anything  deep  or  profound.  He's  got  no 
theology."  It  is  as  if  a  man  were  to  start 
113 


1 86  Pulpit  Pungencies  187 

in  January,  with  a  four-horse  cart,  and  go 
lumbering  along  the  road  on  a  fishing  ex- 
^'Sid^'  cursion.  The  stream  is  frozen  over.  He 
preaching  takes  his  line,  and  throws  it  out  about  once 
in  a  mile,  with  a  dead  bait,  upon  the  frozen 
river,  and,  after  waiting  a  suitable  time, 
draws  it  back  again.  When  he  arrives  at 
the  end  of  the  brook,  he  turns  his  horses 
round  and  goes  home.  And  he  is  called  a 
great  fisher,  although  he  never  brought  a 
fish  home  in  all  his  life.  Another  man,  who 
has  no  fishing  apparatus,  gets  an  old  alder 
bush  for  a  pole,  an  old  twine  siring  for  a 
line,  a  common  hook,  and  a  grasshopper  for 
a  bait,  and  goes  out ;  and  there  is  not  a  fish 
that  don't  know  him.  He  has  not  been 
gone  half  an  hour  before  his  basket  is  full, 
and  he  returns  well  laden  with  fish.  But 
the  peojDle  say,  "  He's  got  no  science.  He 
catches  fish,  and  that's  all  he  does  do." — 
Morning  Sermon^   ymiuary  30,   1859. 


The  Flap    /^  H,    commcud   me  to  that    man   who 

of  whose 


O" 

tongue      v_^     carries  his  dagger  in  his  hand,  and 
not  in  his  mouth !    Commend  me  to  that 
114 


Their 


187  Pulpit  Pungencies  189 

man  who  only  dips  his  dagger  in  poison 
which  the  apothecary  can  make,  and  who 
does  not  dip  it  in  the  infernal,  rancorous 
poison  which  Satan  brews !  There  are 
men  that  we  have  seen,  tTie  flap  of  whose 
tongue,  not  in  a  single  instance  merely,  but 
in  scores  of  instances,  makes  the  difference 
between  heaven  on  earth  and  hell  on  earth  ! 
— Evening  Sermon,  January  29,  i860. 

THERE  is  nothing  of  which  we  have 
so  much  in  these  days  as  we  have  of 
patriotism!  Men  are  patriots  so  long  as  ''ScT^ 
there  is  anything  to  be  made  by  being  pa- 
triotic ;  so  long  as  their  country's  fleece  is 
within  reach  of  their  clipping. — Eventing 
Sermon,  November  2J,  1859. 

^^  ^ALUTE  Urbane,  our  helper  in  Christ,  and 
O     Stachys    my    beloved.      Salute    Appelles, 
approved   in   Christ.     Salute   them   which   are   of       -^g^^ 
Aristobulus's    household.      Salute    Herodion,    my    who  were 
kinsman.     Greet  them  that  be  of  the  household  of     ^i!j|?ff 
Narcissus,  which  are  in  the  Lord.     Salute  Tryphe- 
na,  and  Tryphosa,  who  labor  in  the  Lord.     Salute 
the  beloved    Persis,  which    labored   much   in   the 
Lord.     Salute  Rufus,  chosen  in  the  Lord,  and  his 
mother   and   mine.      Salute   Asyncritus,    Phlegon, 
Hermas,  Patrobas,  Hermes,  and  the  brethren  which 

115 


Folks? 


189  Pulpit  Pungencies 

are  with  them.  Salute  Philologus  and  Julia,  Ne- 
reus  and  his  sister,  and  Olympas,  and  all  the  saints 
Well,      that  are  with  them." 


who  were 

all  these 

Folks? 


Well,  who  were  all  these  folks  }  That  is 
the  beginning  of  them  and  the  end  of  them, 
so  far  as  we  know.  You  may  look  through 
the  di6lionary,  and  you  will  find  this  simple 
history  of  their  life,  that  they  are  men- 
tioned in  the  sixteenth  chapter  of  Romans. 
Now,  the  reading  of  a  catalogue  of  such 
names  as  these  which  I  have  read  to  you, 
is  apt  to  excite  a  smile  ;  not  when  one 
reads  them  quietly  to  himself;  but  the 
children  always  laugh  when  they  hear  them 
read,  and  especially  when  the  minister  gets 
up  and  reads  them  before  the  congregation. 
The  uncouthness  of  them  to  our  ears,  and 
so  long  a  list  of  them,  with  no  more  mean- 
ing attached  to  them  than  is  attached  to  a 
mere  bill  of  items,  may  excite  a  smile,  an 
innocent,  harmless  smile  ;  and  yet,  I  pre- 
sume I  have  read  them  a  thousand  times 
in  my  life  ;  and  I  feel  as  though  I  could 
read  this  sixteenth  chapter  of  Romans 
about  as  heartily  as  any  chapter  in  the 
116 


189  Pulpit   Pungencies  192 

Bible. —  Wednesday   Evening   LecUtre,    No- 
vember 16,  1859. 


IF  Solomon  had  been  half  as  wise  as  it 
is  pretended  he  was,  he  would  have      °oST'' 

Fool's 

known  better  than  to  have  started  on  such     errand 
a  fool's  errand  as  that. — Morning  Sermon. 
March  11,  1850. 


IT  matters  not  if  men  roll  my  name  about 
in  slanderous  reports,  as  a  boy  would  ^l^^^^}^ 
roll  a  foot-ball  down  a  dirty  street,  so  long    Foot-baii 
as  the  cause  of  God  succeeds. — Morning 
Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 


NOT  until  men  are  made   acquainted 
with  the  powers  of  their  minds,  will 
they  be  qualified  to  examine  their  motives  P^^'-^^jo^'^sy 

^  .        ,      ,   .  1  1  Foot-room 

With  profit.  And  this  can  never  be,  so  long 
as  men  accept  only  such  systems  of  mental 
philosophy  as  that  of  Locke,  and  Reid,  and 
Stewart,  and  the  whole  metaphysical  school. 
117 


192  PtUpit  Pungencies  193 

Phrenology,  though  I  regard  it  as  being  in 

an  unformed  state,  crude,  only  approxima- 

ireno^ogy  ^.^^  ^^  ^  scieuce,  at  kast  affords  a  founda- 


Foot-room 


tion  upon  which  a  man  can  put  his  foot, 
and  wait  for  the  waters  of  ignorance  to 
subside.  On  this  the  dove  can  sit  till  the 
dry  land  of  enlightenment  appears.  But 
the  other  systems  do  not  afford  foot-room 
for  either  man  or  bird. — Evening  Sermon^ 
November  6,  1859. 

AT  EITHER  does  this  promise  say  that 

-*-  ^      if  a  man  shuts  himself  off  from  the 

°  5^6°°     world,  and  prays,  and  sino^s,  and  reads  sfood 

tothe       ^  '  ' 

Forepart  booKS,  and  ncglects  his  worldly  business, 
store  God  will  make  up  to  him  all  that  he  loses 
by  such  negle(51.  When  a  man  opens  a 
store  on  Broadway,  God  does  not  say  to 
him,  "  Now,  you  have  rented  your  building, 
and  purchased  your  goods,  and  hired  your 
clerks ;  and  if  you  will  go  back  into  your 
counting-room,  and  spend  your  time  in 
reading,  and  singing  and  praying,  I  will  see 
to  the  fore  part  of  the  store." — Mornhig 
Sermon,  yiine  12,  1859. 
118 


194  Pulpit    Pungencies  196 

FIRST   find  out   what  God  has  meant 
you  to  be — and  if  you  cannot  find  it     Friends 
out  yourself,  your  friends  can  very  quick —       '^^ 
and  then  enter  that  department  of  Hfe  for 
which  you  were  intended. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, jFune  5,  1859. 

THERE  is  no  man  built  large  enough 
for  imitation.     The  disciples  of  Ti- 
tian, of  Raphael,  of  Michael  Angelo,  of  the    him  with 

abundant 

Caracci,  very  soon  ran  out  into  mediocrity,  htueness 
There  never  has  arisen  a  great  man  in 
literature,  in  the  State,  in  the  arts,  whose 
imitators  did  not  very  soon  fringe  him  with 
abundant  littleness. — Morning  Sermon,  May 
22,  1859. 

ALL  through  the  conference  meeting, 
those  who  speak  are  talking  about 
how  depraved  they  are  in  general,  but  never  down^tL 
in  particular.  They  do  not  recognize  any 
application  of  pradlical  ethics  to  commerce, 
any  application  of  pra6lical  ethics  to  poli- 
tics, or  any  application  of  pra6lical  ethics 
to  social  life.  The  man  who  has  come  in 
119 


Fur 


Fur 


196  Pulpit  Pungencies  197 

to  listen  looks  at  one  and  another,  and  says, 
"  I  know  that  that  man  has  been  bathed  in 
down^he  illicit  pleasures  ;  that  man  did  a  thing  at 
the  late  caucus  that  I  would  have  burned 
my  hand  off  sooner  than  I  would  have 
done,  sinner  as  I  am  ;  and  that  man  would 
not  have  done  one  bit  worse  than  I  saw 
him  do  if  he  had  broken  open  a  bank ; 
and  yet  they  come  here,  and  pretend  to 
confess  their  sins,  and  they  do  not  seem  to 
consider  that  these  things  are  sinful.  And 
such  men  are  looked  upon  by  the  Church  as 
Christians.  If  they  are  Christians,  I  would 
not  give  much  for  Christianity.  But  I  will 
try  them  once  more  ;  I  will  go  and  listen  to 
what  they  call  Christian  preaching."  So 
he  attends  church  ;  but  throughout  his  dis- 
course the  minister  never  says  anything 
but  "pussy,  pussy."  He  is  all  the  while 
smoothing  down  the  fur. — Morning  Sermon, 
March  27,  1859. 


NO   man   has   truly  repented,   and   be- 
devotionai  comc  a  truc   Christian,    except   he 

has  that  within   him  which  makes   him  a 
120 


197  Pulpil  Pungencies  198 

well-wisher  to  every  human  being.  It  is 
the  love  of  God  that  is  implanted  in  his 
soul.  If  a  man  gets  up  and  repents,  and 
then  goes  home  furiously  devotional,  but 
yet  utterly  selfish,  he  has  not  repented  at 
all. — Evening  Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 


H 


OW  hard  was  it  at  first  to  brine:  the 


& 


soil  to  such  a  state  that  you  dared 


to  think  " plow  ! "  And  how  hard  is  it  for  hisfim 
a  man,  at  first,  to  bring  himself  into  such  of  grace 
a  state  that  he  dares  to  think  "prayer!" 
How,  when  the  plow  was  first  put  into  the 
ground,  it  bounded  out,  striking  stones,  and 
throwing  itself  hither  and  thither,  and  the 
holder  with  it !  And  how,  when  a  man 
cuts  his  first  furrows  of  grace,  he  is  slung 
about  at  the  tail  of  the  plow,  hither  and 
thither,  and  made  to  be  a  great  deal  more 
nimble  than  he  wishes  to  be !  Yet,  after 
ten  years  have  passed,  look  upon  that  same 
operation  in  the  field.  Now,  as  the  man 
plows,  he  whistles,  and  sings,  and  watches 
the  birds,  and  only  now  and  then  takes 
account  of  the  furrow.  The  ox  scarcely 
121 


198  Pulpit  Pungencies  201 

sweats.  The  turf  goes  over  as  if  it  loved 
to  be  turned,  and  the  plow  tucks  it  down  as 
a  mother  tucks  a  coverlet  round  her  child. 
Now  it  is  very  easy.  Yes,  it  is  very  easy  ; 
but  it  had  to  learn  to  be  easy !  So  it  is 
with  spiritual  plowing. — Evenuig  Sermoiiy 
October  16,    1859. 


I 


DO  not  like  to  see  wrinkles.     I  think 
'^Fur^ows'^   ^      they  are   the  devil's   furrows   on   the 
brow,  unless  age  has  placed  them  there. — 
Morning  Scinnon,  August  14,  1859. 


I 


I  have  seen 


N  respect  to  the  playing  of  cards,  I  do 
not  think  it  is  in  all  cases  harmful. 
I  can  conceive  of  persons  being  in  circum- 
^GambHng  stauccs  whcrc  it  would  not  harm  them.  As 
for  myself,  I  have  not  learned  to  tell  one  card 
from  another,  although  I  have  seen  a  great 
deal  of  gambling  on  the  Western  rivers. — 
Evetmig  Sermon,  November  20,  1859. 


God        T  T  would  seem  extravagant  to  say  that 

never  shoots     I  .  ,  , 

unless       X      men  love  misery  :    that  they  are  ad- 
there  is  J  ^  J 

good  Game  tii(5^ed  to  tormcnting  themselves  ;  that  they 

1 22 


20I  Ptilpit    Pungencies  203 

love  vexations  to  such  a  degree  that  it  is 
needful  that  there  should  be  set  up  the 
Divine  command,  "  Fret  not  thyself  in  any- 
wise." But  there  is  the  command,  and  it 
is  aimed  at  something ;  for  God  never 
shoots  unless  there  is  good  game. — Morn- 
ing Sermon,  yidy  24,  1859. 

T  T  is  a  solemn  thing  to  enter  into  wed- 
-■-      lock  ;  it  is  a  solemn  thing  to  open  a      ^^*® 
gate  through  which  shall  troop  myriads  of 
little  ones  to  the  eternal  world. — Eveninsr 
Sermo7i,  February  26,  i860. 

I  CAN'T  bear  to  hear  things  that  I  do 
hear  about  my  own  people.  I  can't 
bear  to  have  persons  come  to  me  and  say,  oav^lt  to 
"  Is  it  true  that  such  a  man  belongs  to  your  didSe? 
congregation  ? "  and  to  hear  them  say,  when 
I  hesitatingly  admit  that  he  does,  "  We  have 
heard  such  and  such  thins^s  about  him."  I 
have  heard  the  same  things  before,  but  I 
have  not  wanted  to  believe  them  ;  but  when 
they  come  to  me  in  this  way,  I  can't  help 
believing  them,  and  I  say  to  myself,  "  What 
123 


He 

Gave  it  to 

them, 
didn't  he? 


Here 

and 

Georgia 


203  Pulpit   Ptmgencies  204 

shall  I  do?"  At  first  I  think  I  will  go  to 
the  man  and  talk  with  him  ;  but,  after  a 
little  reflection,  I  say  to  myself,  "  If  I  do,  he 
will  want  to  know  who  told  me,  and  then,  if 
I  tell  him,  there  will  be  a  quarrel,  and  I 
shall  be  dragged  into  it  as  being  a  med- 
dler." So  I  conclude  to  hold  back.  Pretty 
soon  I  hear  the  same  things  from  another 
source.  After  that  I  see  the  man,  and  I 
feel  as  though  if  he  should  open  his  vest  I 
should  see  a  great  cancer.  I  sometimes  lie 
awake  and  weep,  thinking  about  him  ;  and 
I  do  a  more  foolish  thing  than  that :  I  pray 
that  I  may  preach  thunder  into  his  ears, 
and  thus  bring  him  to  a  realization  of  his 
true  condition.  And  I  do  preach  thunder 
to  him  ;  and  when  I  get  through,  he  goes 
out  and  says,  "  He  gave  it  to  them,  didn't 
he.'^" — Morning  Scrmoii,  March  27,  1859. 

THE  more   you  make   of  the   colored 
man,  the  more  does  slavery  stink. 
I  think  a  feeling  against  slavery  has  been 
driven  into  the  hearts   of  this   people,  old 
and  young,  and  into  the  hearts  of  Southern- 
124 


204  Ptilpit   Pungencies  205 

ers  even  (for  there  are  in  this  church  more 
or  less  Southerners  every  Sunday,  and  I 
preach  to  more  of  them  here  than  I  should 
if  I  were  in  Georgia,  and  I  think  I  preach 
to  them  longer  than  I  should  if  I  were 
there),  by  having  it  brought  before  their 
minds  in  this  practical  way. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, yuly  17,  1859. 

THERE  is  a  kind  of  fungus  which  be- 
longs to  every  vegetable  that  grows  ; 
there  is  a  kind  of  insecl  which  belongs 
to  every  vegetable  tribe  ;  and  there  is  a 
kind  of  sin  which  belongs  to  almost  every 
circumstance.  There  is  a  sin  which  be- 
longs to  public  institutions.  Men  sit  down 
and  reason  with  themselves  in  this  way : 
"  The  cause  of  God  requires  the  existence 
and  prosperity  of  this  institution ;  it  is 
called  of  God  to  occupy  such  a  field  ;  the 
cause  of  God  is  identified  with  it ;  it  is 
necessary  to  the  cause  of  God  ;  the  interests 
of  the  Redeemer  are  bound  up  with  it ;  the 
cause  of  the  Church  is  bound  up  with  it." 
They  reason  in  this  way  till  they  begin 
125 


God 
could  not 
Get  along 
without  it 


205  Pulpit   Pungencies  208 

to  feel  as  if  God  could  not   possibly  get 
along    without    this    i 
SennoH,  Jllay  15,  1859. 


along    without    this    institution. — Evening 


T 


HE  mechanical  element   of  prayer  is 
one  that   sometimes   introduces   fri- 

Not  able         •  , . ,        .     ,        •  a  ^  i      .     • 

to  Get  up  gidity  into  It.  A  man  that  is  very  nerv- 
ous and  restless,  and  that  is  pressed  for 
time,  says,  "  I  am  social  in  my  nature  ;  and 
for  me  to  withdraw  from  others,  and  go 
away  into  a  chamber,  and  lock  the  door, 
and  kneel  down,  and  feel  in  a  hurry,  and 
not  be  able  to  get  up  a  prayer,  is  disagree- 
able.—  Wednesday  Evening  Lecture,  Decem- 
ber 28,  1859. 


1\  j\  EN,  you  know,  hold  up  their  heads 


Heads  high  iVl  as  high  as  a  gibbet,  when  they  are 
going  to  be  humble. — Morning  Sermon, 
May  22,  1859. 


I    THINK  tl:tat  of  all  the  trashy  things 
bread  books  ^^^   ^^^^s    world,  the   most  trashy  are  a 

religion  that  don't  do  anything,  and  flowery 
sermons,  and  gingerbread  books,  that  begin 
126 


2o8  Piilpit   Pungencies  210 

in  the  mouth  and  end  in  the  ^'^x.— Morning 
Sermon,  January  30,  1859. 


w 


HENEVER  you  see  a  man  laugh, 
laugh   with   him;    whenever   you      ^^^^ 
see  a  man  glad,  you  be  glad,  too.     The    beQad. 
rocks  could  tell  you  that.    If  one  of  a  joyous 
company,  in  some  valley,  beneath  an  over- 
hanging cliff,  breaks  out  into  a  merry,  ring- 
ing laugh,  all  the  rocks  laugh  back  again.— 
Morning  Sermoji,  May  8,  1859. 

HOW  many  men  that  you  might  sele(5l 
from  among  a  thousand  of  the  most       ^^^^ 
honest   of  your   presidents,   and   cashiers,    ^^^go.^^ 
and  direftors,  and  bankers,  and  brokers,  do 
you  suppose,  have  such  an  inherent  love  of 
good  because  it  is  good,  of  right  because 
it  is  right,  that  you  would  put  this  million 
of  dollars  into  their  hands,  and  say,  "  You 
can  put  it  all  in  your  pocket,  or  give  it  to 
those  who  really  ought  to  have  it ! "     How 
many  men  of  those  that  are  approximately 
honest  would  it  be  safe  to  trust  in  a  case 
like  this  .?     How  many  men  would  make  a 
127 


2IO  Pulpit   Pungencies  212 

bargain  with  their  conscience,  and  say,  "  I'll 
go  for  justice  ;  Til  give  them  three  quarters 
and  pay  myself  one  quarter. — Mornmg  Ser- 
mon^ yanuary  23,  1859. 


A^ 


the  Go-by 


ND  then,  right  after  that,  he  says, 
Bear  ye  one  another's  burdens  ; " 
gi^e°thlm  3-s  much  as  to  say,  you  are  to  take  care  of 
all  men  that  have  fallen,  that  have  sinned. 
If  they  have  lied,  and  are  convi6led  of  it, 
you  are  not  on  that  account  to  give  them 
the  go-by ;  if  they  have  stolen,  and  are  con- 
vi6led  of  it,  you  are  not  on  that  account  to 
give  them  the  go-by.  —  Evening  Sermon, 
June  26,  1859. 


IT   is  not  when  men  say,    "  God  damn 
you  ! "  it  is  not  when  men  use  profani- 


'God  damn 


you!"  ties  ;  though  they  are  not  less  wicked  than 
you  think  they  are,  and  though  they  are  di- 
rect affronts  toward  the  majesty  of  Heaven  : 
it  is  not  when  men  do  this  that  God  is  most 
offended. — Morning  Sermoji,  ynne  19,  1859. 
128 


213  Ptilpit   Pungencies  215 

PEOPLE  sometimes  think  that  God  can 
not  get  along  without  certain  men  ;    1!\S^%Ia 

would  do 

and  if  they  should  die,  they  wonder  what 
God  would  do. — Evening  Sennon^  May  15, 
1859. 


B 


UT  let  a  minister,  for  nineteen  sermons 
out    of    twenty,    preach    of  abstra6l 


Neither  he 


knows 


do6lrines,  that  neither  he  nor  God  knows  "^y^^""^ 
anything  about,  because  they  are  not  true, 
and  the  people  would  say,  "  Here  is  a  man 
who  knows  how  to  lay  down  good,  solid 
doctrines.  He  is  a  great  preacher." — 
Morning  Sermon ,  April  2^,  1S59. 


G 


OD   teaches  us   to   be   pitiful,   to   be 
^     gentle,  to  be  condescending,  to  bow 


down  and  bring  our  greatness  toward  the  growT 
earth,  toward  those  that  need  it.  That  is 
the  way  in  which  God  teaches  us  that  man- 
hood grows  ;  and  Godhood  grows  in  the 
same  dire6lion. — Evening  Sermony  Septem- 
ber 18,  1859. 

129 


God-light 

is 
healthy 


2i6  Pulpit   Ptmgencies  217 

WHEN  a  man  fixes  up  his  religion, 
and  says,  "  I  have  got  it  so  that 
man's  independence  is  secured,"  it  is  as  if  a 
man  should  build  a  house,  and  fit  it  all  up 
like  a  fashionable  parlor,  with  windows, 
having  inside  blinds  and  outside  blinds, 
roll-down  curtains  and  roll-up  curtains,  so 
that  ten  suns,  trying  ten  years,  could  not 
get  in.  I  think  the  thought  of  our  de- 
pendence upon  God  ought  to  make  our 
hearts  bound  with  gladness.  This  is  one 
of  the  sweetest  and  most  attra6live  things 
set  forth  in  the  Bible  ;  and  as  every  phy- 
sician will  tell  you  that  sun-light  is  healthy, 
so  I  tell  you  that  God-light  is  healthy,  and 
that  the  soul  is  made  stronger,  every  way, 
by  the  direct  shining  of  the  spirit  of  the 
ever-loving,  ever-living  God  upon  it. — 
Morning  Sevmony  yaniMij  23,  1859. 


I 


F  when  I  rise  in  the  morning  I  enthrone 

Take^hoid    X      conscicncc  and  love,  and  take  hold  of 

God's  hand  ^^^^  ^^^^^  ^^  ^^^  thought,  determined  not 

to  let  it  go,  through  all  the  hours  of  the 

day,  and  feel  a  willingness  to  bear  all  such 

130 


217  Pulpit    Pungencies  219 

things  as  God's  providence  may  put  upon 
me,  I  can  go  forth  to  the  discharge  of 
manly  duties  with  a  smile  which  all  the 
twelve  hours  shall  not  wipe  from  ray  face. 
— Morning  Sermon,  July  24,  1859. 


I 


N  the  beginnmg  of  the  world  men  formed 
gods  and  godlings  by  the  ten  thousand,     ""a^nd 


short  Gods 


Snakes,  monkeys,  and  calves  were  gods  ; 
vegetables  were  gods  ;  old  sticks  of  timber 
were  sawed  up  into  long  gods  and  short 
gods. — Morning  Ser^non,  February  27,  1859. 

A  MAN  has  fifty  thousand  dollars  to  in- 
vest. Where  does  he  invest  it  ? 
Does  he  take  up  land  or  stocks  in  a  village  phdwhere 
that  never  hears  the  church  bell  ring }  qoIT^ 
No  ;  he  says,  *'  If  I  should  go  to  such  a 
place,  my  property  would  never  increase  ; 
it  would  never  pay  any  dividend  ;  it  would 
be  a  dead  weight  on  my  hands."  A  man 
wishes  to  invest  his  money  where  there  are 
the  most  a6live  men,  and  where  there  is 
the  most  moral  influence.  The  place  where 
there  is  the  most  true  Christianity,  is  the 
131 


219  Pulpit  Pimgencies  222 

place  where   property  goes  up. — Evening 
Serino7ty  Febriuxry  10,  i860. 


r^  OOD  nature  is  not  to  be  an  occasional 

re  ■ 
occasional 


Good  nature  »     ^r         ■,  •  -i  •    i 

not  to  be    v>^      thinsf,  which  a  man  summons  once 


in  a  while,  as  he  does  his  doctor  or  his 
attorney. — Morning  Sermon,  February  5, 
i860. 

WHEN  a  man  has  sown  Canada  thistle- 
to  seed,  it  is  too  late  for  him  to  pro- 

work  for  it  ^^g^  against  what  he  has  done.  They  must 
come  up.  He  may  eradicate  them,  but  he 
has  got  to  work  for  it  if  he  does. — Eveni^ig 
Sermon,  March  4,  i860. 


I 


RECOLLECT  the  time  when  I  used 

to  be  told  that  heaven  would  be  an 

^sayb?    everlasting  Sabbath  ;  and  if  I  had  not  been 

qu«T£gs  more  afraid  of  hell  than  I  was  of  heaven, 

the'Xone   I  should  havc  wished  not  to  go  to  heaven. 

It   was   only   second   in   rank  among  the 

places  where  I  did  not  want  to  be ;    for 

the  idea  of  being  compelled  to  recite  the 

catechism,  upon  penalty  and  forfeiture ;  of 

132 


2  22  Pulpit  Pungencies  224 

sitting  still  in  a  universal  singing-school ; 
of  not  being  allowed  to  speak  or  laugh  till 
the  sun  went  down :  such  ideas  as  these 
led  me  to  look  with  terror,  almost,  upon 
anything  like  an  endless  Sabbath  of  praise. 
The  idea  that  I  pi6lured  of  heaven  is  no 
more  agreeable  now  than  when  I  was  young. 
But  I  have  put  away  childish  things.  We 
are  not  to  praise  God  as  if  we  were  so 
many  parasites,  so  many  courtiers,  whose 
interest  and  duty  it  was  to  say  grandilo- 
quent things  around  the  throne. — Morning 
Sermon,  November  6,  1859. 

TO  the  man  who  says,  "  God  is  such  a 
great  Being  that  He  does  not  care  ^cJaf 
for  us  poor  mortals,"  I  say,  "  You  are  such 
a  great  fool  that  you  do  not  know  what 
God  is,  even!" — Morning  Sermon,  Atigust 
14,  1859. 

LET  a  colored  man  do  the  work  that 
Horace    Greeley    has    done  ;    let   a     q^^^ 
colored  man  become  such  a  physician  as 
Dr.  Mott  is ;   let  a  colored  man  preach  as 
133 


2  24  Pulpit  Pungencies  226 

Whitfield  preached,  and  as  Frederick  Doug- 
lass is  preaching,  and  what  will  be  the  re- 
sult ?  In  the  presence  of  such  a  man,  you 
will  find  that  your  prejudices  go  as  the 
snows  do  in  March  and  April.  You  can- 
not help  it.  Superiority  in  the  top  of  the 
head  will  make  its  way  everywhere. — Morn- 
ing Scrmoji,  yidy  ly,  1859. 

THE  world  is  a  grindstone,  and  races  are 
axes  which  are  to  get  their  cutting 
^^^  edges  by  being  ground  on  it!  The  very 
God       object  for  which  God  thinks  it  worth  while 


turns 


to  turn  and  roll  this  round  globe,  is  that  by 
its  very  attrition  and  working  men  may  be 
made  men  in  every  sense  of  the  term. — 
Morning  Sermon,  March  11,  i860. 

SUPPOSE  a  boy  about  six  years  of  age 
were  to  come  to  you  and  say,  "  Father, 
you'll knmv  what  shall  I  do  when  I  go  to  get  married? 

how  to 

act       What  shall  I  say  .^     How  shall  I  arrange 

matters.''"     You  look  upon  the  child  as  a 

curiosity,  and  you  say,  **  My  dear  boy,  you 

are  only  six  years  old,  and  I  guess  you  will 

134 


2  26  Pidpit  Pungencies  229 

get  wisdom  enough  by  the  time  you  are 
twenty-five,  or  twenty-one,  to  know  how  to 
a6l  in  such  a  case. — Morning  Scnnoji,  April 
24,  1859. 


D 


O  not  make  your  sins  hke  an  Egyp- 
tian mummy,  with  its  dried  bones 


and  muscles  wrapped  up  in  gummed  hide-  in  Gummed 

_  .,,.,,    hideousness 

ousness.  Let  your  past  snis  be  buried,  and 
if  you  want  to  go  to  the  graveyard  once  in 
a  while  to  see  where  you  have  laid  them, 
go,  but  don't  bring  anything  home  with 
you. — Morning  Sermon,  April  3,  1859. 


HOW  many  men  that  have  been  bored 
for  forty-pound  cannons,  have  been     fn'^Sf 
spoiled  ni  the  gun-range ! — Morning  Ser- 
mon, Jnne  5,  1859. 


T3  E  careful  of  doing  wrong  to  your  em- 
J-^  ployers,  and  be  just  as  firm  never 
to  do  any  wrong  for  them  as  you  are  never  '^,0  uiT 
to  do  any  wrong  against  them.  No  matter 
if  they  wish  a  whip-lash,  and  wish  to  strike 
it  out,  never  let  them  tie  you  to  the  handle, 
135 


Ilaudle 


2  29  PtUpit  Pungencies  232 

and    strike   out   with   you    into    iniquitous 
things. — Evening  Serrnon,  May  8,   1859. 


w 


HEN  in  our  carriage  we  find  men 
doing  things  that  offend  our  deep- 

Don't  let  -    -  .         .  , 

your  anger  cst  scusc  01  honor,  m  its  verv  core  and 

Hang  on 

centre,  God  says:  "Give  it  the  bolt — 
blast  it ;  but  don't  let  your  anger  hang 
on.  Don't  let  it  be  dripping,  dripping, 
dripping  all  day  long." — Mornifig  Sermon, 
May  15,  1859. 

Hangers-on  ^  I  ^HEY  join   themsclves   to   that  great 
mosquito      X       horde  of  men  who  are  the  hangers- 

and  iteal  ^ 

on  of  society,  men  who  play  musquito, 
and  steal  blood  for  a  living. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, Fcbjiiary  5,  i860. 


blood 

for 

a  living 


man 


IT  is  a  glorious  thing  to  the  carnal  na- 
naniessea  turc  to  gct  out  of  thc  hamcss.     But 

blessed  is  that  man  who  is  harnessed,  who 
has  got  a  load  behind  him,  and  who  has  to 
pull  to  move  it,  at  least  up  hill. — Moaning 
Sermon,  May  8,  1859. 


136 


2  33  Pulpit  Pungencies  235 

IT  is  a  cruel  kindness  to  leave  a  child's 
disposition  unsubdued.  One  who  has 
never  learned  how  to  obey,  will  be  at  fault 
all  his  Hfe  long.  It  is  a  vital  attainment. 
Flax  is  no  better  than  any  weed,  unless  it 
be  broken,  hatcheled.  Then  it  may  be  spun 
and  woven  ;  then  it  may  be  manufa6lured 
and  worn. — Evening  Sermon,  Febrnary  26, 
i860. 


Hatcheling 

the_ 
disposition 


I 


NEVER  like  to  see  a  man  walk  among 
his  inferiors,  stiff,  and  cold,  and  hard,       and 

gloved 


hatted  and  gloved. — Evening  Sermon,  May 
I,  1859. 


w 


E  do  not  Know  precisely  what  our 
being  will  be  in  the  future,  though 


we  know  in  general.     I  know  in  general    Have  me 


what  the  Aurora  BoreaHs  is.  If  you  press 
the  question  as  to  what  it  is,  I  say,  "  It  is 
a  bank  of  tremulous,  up-mounting  light,  at 
the  north."  If  you  ask,  *'  What  is  it  made 
of?"  you  have  me  there. — Mojiiing  SermoUy 
April  24,  1859. 


137 


there 


236  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  237 


I 


LAUGH   when    I    read   the   old   leg 


t> 


ends  of  St.  Francis,  and  various  other 
and       saints  of  various  names,  who,  after   they 

the  devil 

had  violated  every  conceivable  canon  of 
health,  for  the  sake  of  san6lity,  were  at 
last,  as  it  was  supposed,  tempted  of  the 
devil  in  this  way,  and  that  way,  and  the 
other  way.  When  they  had  violated  bone, 
and  muscle,  and  nerve,  and  brain,  and 
body,  they  thought  the  fantasies,  which 
were  the  natural  results  of  such  violations 
of  natural  laws,  to  be  the  devil ;  and  I 
don't  wonder. — Morning  Sermon^  Septem- 
ber 18,  1859. 


I 


HAVE  seen  a  great  many  happy 
men  —  thanks  to  healthy  blood  ; 
blood^  thanks  to  comfortable  situations  in  life ! 
Christianity  — but  I  havc  sccu  a  huiidrcd  men  happy 
on  account  of  natural  conditions  of  pros- 
perity, where  I  have  seen  one  who  could 
bear  witness,  **  I  am  happy  as  a  Chris- 
tian."—  Morning    Sermony    September    18, 

1859. 

138 


238  Ptilpit   Ptmgencies  240 

THE  only  way  in  which  we  can  get  per- 
mission to  indulge  in  equivocations, 
and  evasions,  and  deceptions,  which  we  re- 
fuse to  baptize  lies,  as  they  ought  to  be 
baptized,  is  by  running  our  moral  character 
down  at  the  heel. — Morning  Sermon,  Jime 
26,  1859. 


DowTi  at 
the 
Heel 


A 


The 


ND  many  more  go  on  gathering  dark- 
ness at  every  step,  their  feet  tread- 

1  lie 

ing  more  and  more  slippery  and  rough  curtain  jaiis, 
wrys,  till  their  chara6ler  is  gone.  Their  H£knows 
reputation  soon  follows  ;  with  trustworthi- 
ness all  trust  ceases  ;  life  becomes  a  system 
of  dodging  expedients  ;  vice  becomes  crime, 
and  crime  becomes  destru6lion  ;  and  before 
half  their  days  are  ended,  the  terrible  drama 
is  enaaed  and  the  curtain  falls,  and— Hell 
knows  the  rest. — Evening  Sermon,  March 
4,   i860. 


p 


OOR  thing !   she  is  dealing  with  a  de- 


there  is  a 
Hell! 


mon  '     Spare  her  1     Save  her  }     The  thank  God 

J^  there  IS  a 

pohshed  scoundrel  betrayed  her  to  abandon 

her,  and  walks  the  street  to  boast  his  hell- 

139 


240  Pulpit  Pungencies  241 

ish  deed  !  It  becomes  him  as  a  reputation  ! 
Surely,  society  will  crush  him.  They  will 
thank  God  smite  the  wolf,  and  seek  out  the  bleeding 
Hell !  lamb.  Oh,  my  soul !  believe  it  not !  What 
sight  is  that }  The  drooping  viclim  is  worse 
used  than  the  infernal  destroyer !  He  is 
fondled,  courted,  passed  from  honor  to  hon- 
or !  and  she  is  crushed  and  mangled  under 
the  infuriate  tramp  of  public  indignation  ! 
On  her  mangled  corpse  they  stand  to  put 
the  laurels  on  her  murderer  s  brow  !  When 
I  see  such  things  as  these,  I  thank  God 
that  there  is  a  judgment,  and  that  there 
is  a  hell ! — Evoiing  Sermon^  Fcbniary  1 2, 
i860. 


SUPPOSE  my  heart  swelled  with  a  de- 
sire to  enlist  in  the  cause  of  human 
liberty.  I  say,  "  Oh  !  that  the  days  of  ter- 
ror were  come  again,  that  I  might  conse- 
crate myself,  my  energies,  my  zeal,  my 
life  even,  to  the  bringing  about  of  the  reign 
of  liberty.  How  I  long  to  see  re-ena61ed, 
and  to  participate  in  the  scenes  of  Lafay- 
ette ! "  At  length  I  hear  that  there  is  an 
140 


A  roistenng 
swearing 
HeUiaii 


Hellian 


241  Pulpit  Pungencies  241 

army  of  emancipation  going  down  to  Cen- 
tral America,  to  secure  liberty  to  the  op- 

11  >»    A  roisterinz, 

pressed  in  that  region.  "  Thank  heaven,  swearing' 
I  say,  "  that  an  opportunity  is  afiforded  me 
at  last ;  and  God  shall  see  how  I  will  fight 
for  the  liberty  of  those  poor  creatures."  So 
I  go  to  the  place  where  the  army  is  located, 
for  the  purpose  of  enlisting  in  it.  When  I 
get  there  I  say  to  myself,  "  Before  I  put  my 
name  down,  I  will  get  a  little  acquainted 
with  my  fellow-soldiers."  I  go  into  a  tent, 
and  the  first  man  I  encounter  is  drunk.  I 
say  to  myself,  "  That  man  has  worked  him- 
self in  here,  in  some  way,  but  he  don't  be- 
long here,  of  course."  I  then  inquire  for 
the  officer,  and  am  dire6led  to  a  certain 
tent.  I  go  there,  and  find  several  men 
gambling,  and  swearing,  and  quarreling, 
and  I  say  to  myself,  "  I'm  in  the  wrong 
tent ;  surely,  these  can't  be  the  officers." 
Then  I  inquire  for  the  Commander-in-chief 
himself,  and  on  going  where  he  is,  I  find 
him  to  be  a  man  who  epitomizes  all  the 
penitentiaries  of  the  nation,  a  man  on 
whom  vices  roost  as  birds  on  trees.  The 
141 


Helhan 


241  Ptilpii    Pungencies  242 

next  man  I  meet  is  a  roistering,  swearing 
hellian  ;  and  it  seems  as  though  the  streams 

A  roistering,  ,  .  ^    . 

swearing  Qi  tmie  had  run  past  and  deposited  all  its 
mud.  One  of  the  miserable  wretches  cries 
out,  "  We'll  give  'em  liberty."  What  he 
means  is  that  they  will  make  slaves  of 
the  whole  population.  "  We'll  give  'em  lib- 
erty ;"  that  is,  take  possession  of  their  farms, 
steal  their  money,  upset  their  churches, 
trample  under  foot  their  laws,  and  bring 
them  all  into  captivity.  Such  is  the  army 
of  emancipation.  If  I  was  an  honest  man, 
do  you  suppose  I  would  ever  go  in  and  sign 
my  name  as  a  member  of  it  1  If  I  did, 
might  paralysis  take  possession  of  my  arm, 
and  shrink  it  from  finger  to  shoulder. — 
Morning  Sermon^  March  20,   1859. 


I 


T  does  not  take  a  great  while  to  read 
a  book  through  if  a  man  keeps  at  it. 
advertise    Thc  history  of  the  institutions  of  the  coun- 

in  tlie 

Herald     try,  its  laws  and  polity  ;  the  history  of  the 

principal  nations  of  the  world  ;  the  history 

of  the    globe,    its    geography  and   natural 

productions,    and   some   knowledge  of  the 

142 


242  Pulpit   Pungencies  244 

arts,  may  be  had  by  any  and  by  every  man. 
There  is  no  excuse  if  you  do  not  know 
these  things.  You  need  not  go  to  college 
to  know  them.  The  books  are  pubHshed — 
somebody  has  got  them.  You  need  not 
advertise  in  the  Herald  asking  for  the  man 
who  will  lend  you  an  Encyclopaedia. — Even- 
ing Sermon,  May  8,  1859. 

EVERY  mechanic  should  make  him- 
self a  respedlable  mathematician, 
and  if  he  does  not,  after  five  or  ten  sl^^n: 
years  of  labor,  become  a  better  workman 
with  the  aid  of  books,  it  is  a  sign  the 
man  is  below  par.  He  may  be  a  clever 
fellow,  but  he  certainly  lacks  spring  here 
[tapping  the  head]. — Evening  Sermon,  May 
8,  1859. 


N 


OW  suppose  in  response  to  the  trum- 
pet of  enhstment  of  a  church,  I  go 


Lacks 


Here 


r    .     •  Sing  psalms 

down  to  the  camp  for  the  purpose  01  10m-     insoio 

^  .  ,  from  Here 

ing  its  army,  and  on  making  inquiry  as  to    to  heaven 
the  chara6ler  of  the  men   of  which  it  is 
composed,  I  should  find  that  one  is  a  usu- 
143 


244  Pulpit   Pungencies  245 

rer,  that  another  is  engaged  in  an  ilHcit 

business,   that  another   is   a   man  of  pas- 

'  m  Sro""^  sions,  the  most  violent  and  wicked,  and  that 

from  Here  i  i  r    i 

to  heaven  others  are  vam,  and  proud,  and  selfish, 
and  worldly :  suppose  I  should  find  that 
this  church  was  composed  of  such  men 
as  these ;  that  its  members  were  just  as 
bad  as  other  men  ;  that  the  only  difference 
between  those  in  it  and  those  without  its 
pale,  was  that  the  wickedness  of  those  in 
it  was  defended  by  a  good  name,  do  you 
suppose  I  would  join  it  ?  I  would  walk  in 
a  wilderness,  and  sing  psalms  in  solo  from 
here  to  heaven,  before  I  would  join  such 
a  church.  —  Morning  Sermon,  March  27, 
1859. 


OW  there  are  thousands  that  derive 

and  another 


One  likes 

stimulants 

there, 


-^  ^  intelleclual  pleasure  from  preaching. 
Here""  They  like  to  hear  the  sound  of  the  music, 
which  shows  that  the  parade  is  coming. 
By  and  by,  in  comes  the  preacher,  and  he 
develops  his  soldiers'  ideas  to  their  great 
admiration,  and  parades  them  through  a 
long  sermon.  When  he  is  done,  the  peo- 
144 


245  Pulpit  Pungencies  245 

pie,  as  they  go  out,  say,  "  Splendid  parade, 
wasn't  it  ?  Fine  ideas — fine  ideas  !  Very 
well    put."     To    whom    were    they    put  ?   stimulants 

^  "^  there, 

There  wasn't  a  musket  that  had  a  ball  or  and  another 

Here 

any  powder  in  it.  Not  a  man  dreamed  of 
hitting  anybody.  It  was  a  sham ;  all  a 
sham.  There  was  no  fight.  The  sermon 
was  all  a  mere  exhibition  of  ideas,  a  mere 
marching  of  ideas.  These  men  that  love 
mere  intelle6lual  enjoyment,  like  to  have  a 
minister  that  excites  their  thoughts.  They 
say,  "  I  don't  want  to  go  to  church  where  it 
is  a  good  deal  easier  to  sleep  than  to  listen. 
I  like  a  man  that  has  got  some  life  in  him, 
and  that  stirs  one  up."  To  what  t  To  go 
and  pay  that  debt  t  "  Not  exadly  ;  I  like, 
after  having  heard  a  sermon,  to  know  more 
than  I  did  before.  I  have  no  objection  to 
being  made  better ;  but  I  like  the  glow  and 
enjoyment  of  a  right  good  sermon" — as 
another  man  likes  a  stiff  glass.  He  likes 
stimulants.  One  likes  stimulants  there 
\in  the  head],  and  the  other  here  [in  the 
stomach]. — Morning  Sermon,  January  30, 
1859. 

145 


246  Pulpit   Pungencies  249 

LET  me  say,  then,  to  the  young  of  my 
going  10  charge,  you  never  can  have  too  high 

beiK'roic  an  ideal  as  respe^ls  the  Christian  duty  and 
Christian  virtue  of  truth.  If  you  are  going 
to  sin  be  heroic,  and  sin  on  the  side  of 
truth. — Morning  Sermon,  yitne  26,  1859. 

OF  all  hideous  things  mummies  are  the 
most  hideous ;  and  of  mummies, 
those  are  the  most  hideous  that  are  run- 
ning about  the  streets  and  talking  ! — Morn- 
i7ig  Sermon y  March  11,  i860. 

ONE  man  ridicules  his  next-door  neigh- 
his  own  head  ^^r  on  accouut  of  his  pride  ;  but  he 

so  High  ^Q^j^^  j^q|.  have  known  anything  about  that 
neighbor's  pride  if  he  had  not  carried  his 
own  head  so  high  that  he  could  look  over 
the  fence  and  see  how  proud  he  was. — 
Morning  Sermojt,  June  12,  1859. 

^^  T^ISTRIBUTING  to  the  necessity 
It hasgot  l_>f     Qf  saints  ;   given  to  hospitality." 

High  times  ji^.g   j^g^    .g  ^  clump  of  blossoms  which 

signifies,  in  the  first  place,  what  you  have 
146 


249  Ptilpil  Pungencies  250 

just  done  in  your  contribution  for  the  aid 
of  a  sister  church  ;  and  in  the  second  place, 
what  you  are  going  to  do  in  the  entertain- 
ment of  strangers  during  the  coming  An- 
niversaries. It  makes  you  smile,  I  see.  It 
has  got  to  be  high  times,  when  everybody 
laughs  if  a  text  is  brought  home  in  such  a 
way  that  it  really  does  seem  to  mean  some- 
thing. You  have  had  the  Gospel  preached 
as  though  there  were  nothing  in  it  so  long, 
that  when  it  is  preached  so  that  it  appears 
to  have  a  pra6lical  application  to  every-day 
life,  people  smile  at  the  very  fatness  of  it. — 
Morumg  Seiinon,  May  8,  1859. 

THERE  is  a  vague  impression  in  the 
minds  of  men  who  long  for  property, 
that  it  may  reward  some  rare  stroke  of  skill,  in  the  nick 
that  it  may  turn  up  at  one  single  more 
spadeful,  just  as  deluded  treasure-seekers, 
digging  at  midnight  under  a  glimmering 
lantern,  expe6l  that  each  next  spade-thrust 
will  strike  upon  an  iron  chest  or  crash  into 
an  earthen  pot  full  of  coin.  These  men 
think  there  is  such  a  thing  as  dexterity  of 
147 


of  time 


250  Ptilpit    Pungencies  251 

management,  by  which  wealth  may  be  sud- 
denly obtained,  and  they  think  that  a  hit  in 
the  nick  of  time  will  bring  down  a  whole 
shower-bath  of  gold.  —  Evening  Sermon, 
Febrnary  5,  i860. 


T' 


HERE  is  no  institution  evangelical  or 
theological ;  there  is  not  even  a  be- 
th^must  nevolent  institution,  nay,  not  even  the  Tra6l 
Society,  which  some  men  think  indispen- 
sable to  Heaven  itself,  that  I  think  God 
could  not  get  along  better  without  than 
with,  if  you  consider  the  way  in  which  they 
have  been  conduced.  Yet  men  begin  by 
reasoning  in  this  way:  "This  institution 
has  the  cause  of  God  at  heart ;  the  cause 
of  the  Redeemer  is  bound  up  in  it ;  the- 
salvation  of  poor,  perishing,  immortal  souls, 
is  bound  up  in  this  institution.  So  men 
say.  Oh !  Oh !  Oh !  such  an  institution 
must  not  be  disturbed  ;  this  institution 
must  be  sustained.  And  when,  in  the 
providence  of  God,  it  is  brought  to  circum- 
stances where  men  can  not  sustain  it  ex- 
cept by  a  little  hitch  in  their  morality,  why, 

148 


251  Pulpit   Pungencies  253 

they  must  hitch  ! — Eycniiig  Sermon,  May 
15,  1859. 


FREE    colored    people   exist   in    every 
State  in  our  Union,  and  are  greatly 

Laws  like 

increasing — particularly  in  those  States  in  Hoes 
which  laws  are  passed  forbidding  them  to 
go  there  ;  for  laws  are  like  hoes  that  cut  off 
the  tops  of  weeds,  making  each  root  send 
out  forty  new  shoots  ! — Morning  Scnnon, 
July  17,  1859. 


A 


ND  that  which  is  true  of  gambling,  is 
true  of  tam2:)ering  with  illicit  pleas- 


is 


ures,  with  this  exception :  that  gambling  thy  servant 
works  with  slowness,  while  licentiousness 
works  like  a  conflagration.  The  spark 
rarely  smolders  long.  When  a  man  has 
caught  the  infe6lion,  it  is  as  if  he  were  set 
on  fire  of  hell.  And  do  you  suppose  that 
in  the  beginning  he  proposed  that  to  him- 
self.'* If  it  had  been  hinted  to  him,  he 
would  have  said,  "  Is  thy  servant  a  dog — a 
149 


253  Pulpit  Pungencies  256 

hog  ! — that  he  would  do  this  ? "  And  yet 
he  does  it. — Evening  Sermon ^  3farch  4, 
i860. 

I    BELIEVE  there  are  whispers  of  God 
not  merely  to  the  soul.     I  do  Hot  think  the  Holy 

Ghost  is  paraded  in  the  Bible  merely  to 
make  up  the  number  three  in  the  God- 
head.— Morning  Sennojt,  November  6,  1859. 


No.  3 


I 


God 


F  men  have  been  bitten  by  this  infernal 

infidelity,  if  they  have  come  to  enter- 

Tuly,    tain  this  false  idea,  that   God  is   so  busy 

like  a  boy 

driving     taking:  care  of  this  world,  like  a  boy.drivino: 

a  Hoop  ^  'JO 

a  hoop  through  the  street,  who  expe6ls 
everybody  to  get  out  of  his  way :  if  men 
have  come  to  suppose  that  God  is  thus 
busy,  so  that  he  cannot  take  care  of  the 
human  beings  he  has  created,  let  them  get 
out  of  it  as  soon  as  possible. — Alornmg 
Sermon,  April  10,  1859. 


Not  'at       ■     THINK   the  lar2:est  buildin.jxs  in  this 


I 


Hopped  out  X      ^^^j.j^|^   probably,  that  hold  anything, 
are  the  Egyptian  pyramids,  which  hold  a 
150 


256  Pulpit   Pungencies  258 

little  king's  dust.  Next  to  them,  I  suppose, 
some  of  the  largest  houses  are  those  which 
hold  the  dust  of  rich  men  who  have  not 
yet  hopped  out  of  them. — Morning  Scrmofiy 
May  8,  1859. 

A  GREAT  many  people  undertake  to 
throw  away  the  Bible  because  they 
cannot  stand  its  revelations  and  truths.  It 
is  as  if  a  man  on  shipboard,  with  a  terrible  iiospUai 
fever  breaking  out  among  his  men,  should 
throw  his  medicine  chest  into  the  sea, 
without  throwing  the  fever  into  the  sea 
with  it!  What  if  an  insurre6lion  should 
take  place  in  a  hospital,  and  the  patients 
should  turn  all  the  physicians  and  nurses 
out,  and  bar  the  doors  against  them  ? — 
Evening  Sermon,  October  2'^y  1859. 


An 

insurrection 

n  a 


I  THINK  life  is  like  a  voyage.  Suppose 
there  should  start  out  from  your  har- 
bor a  yacht,  a  schooner,  a  sloop,  a  hermaph- 
rodite brig,  a  fulI-riggcd  brig,  a  barque, 
ii  ship  and  a  man-of-war,  all  bound  on  one 
common  voyage ;  now  then,  suppose  the 
151 


To 

every  man 

his  own 

Hull 


258  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  260 

yacht  should  look  at  the  man-of-war  as  she 
moved  down  the  bay,  with  all  her  canvas 
evej  man  out,  and  say,  "  When  can  I  get  such  sails 
Hull  upon  me  like  that  man-of-war  ? "  which  has 
three  great  noble  masts  on  it.  Any  man 
would  see  that  the  yacht  has  no  place  for 
such  sails.  No  ;  everything  must  make  the 
voyage  with  its  own  hull  and  with  its  own 
sails.  Now,  God  has  given  to  every  man 
his  own  hull,  in  which  to  make  the  voyage 
of  life. — Evening  Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 


A^ 


ND  who  does  not  know  that  around 
H^eni  "^"^  every  church  there  are  just  such 
hyenas  whose  heads  are  like  to  become  a 
fountain  of  tears  at  the  transgressions  of 
reputable  Christians  }  —  Evening  Sermon, 
February  12,  i860. 


I  REMEMBER  a  poor  colored  man  who, 
when  I  was  a  boy  twelve  years  old, 
made  a  deeper  impression  on  my  mind  of 


child 


sermon-fed  tlic  gooducss  of  God,  than  all  the  sermons 
to  which  I  had  ever  listened  ;  and  if  there 
was  ever  a  sermon-fed  child,   I  was  one. 
152 


26o  Pulpit   Pungencies  261 

Nothing  took  so  firm  a  hold  upon  my 
higher  nature  as  did  the  influence  of  that 
consistent,  praying,  psahn-singing,  rejoic- 
ing colored  man,  who  taught  me  to  work 
on  the  farm,  and  to  know  that  there  was 
something  in  religion. — Morning  SermoUy 
August-  14,  1859. 


I 


BELIEVE  in  the  do6trine  of  divine 
decrees  ;  but  I  do  not  believe  it  is  a 


doctrines 
meant  for 
daily  use 


pair  of  steeds  which  a  child  can  drive  ;  and  do  not 
if  you  harness  them,  and  undertake  to  drive  ^  such 
them,  you  will  find  yourself  drawn  so  swiftly 
through  the  heavens  that  you  will  be  glad 
to  alight  from  your  chariot.  The  do6lrine 
of  divine  sovereignty,  free  agency,  the  na- 
ture of  temptation,  the  cause  of  evil :  these, 
and  many  others,  are  founded  substantially 
in  truth  ;  that  is,  truth  belongs  to  each  of 
them  ;  but  not  truth  which  you  can  so  un- 
derstand and  employ  as  to  make  it  profit- 
able in  daily  life.  From  the  time  I  was  ten 
years  old  till  after  I  was  thirteen  years  old, 
the  dodlrine  of  God's  foreknowledge  was  a 
perpetual  torment  to  me.  I  reasoned  in 
153 


26 1  Pulpit  Pungencies  262 

this  way :  "  If  God  knew  everything  from 

the  beginning,  he  must  have  known  when 

do  not     I  would  be  born,  what  my  nature  would  be, 

suppose 

such      what   circumstances    would    surround  me, 

doctnnes 

'dafiy^u^e  ^.nd  what  things  I  would  do  ;  and  if  what 
I  shall  do  is  fixed  and  settled,  it  is  no  use 
for  me  to  try  to  do  one  way  or  another." 
This  doftrine  a6led  as  a  paralysis  on  my 
efforts  toward  right  condu6l.  So  long  as  I 
was  under  its  influence,  I  had  a  very  low 
experience — and  I  suppose  that  what  was 
true  of  me,  in  this  respe6l,  is  usually  true 
of  others  ;  for  I  do  not  suppose  that  such 
do6lrines  are  meant  for  daily  use. — Even- 
ing Sermon,  November  6,  1859. 

I    WAS  a  child  of  teaching  and  prayer ; 
I  was  reared  in  the  household  of  faith  ; 
I  knew  the  Catechism  as  it  was  taught ;  I 

He  did  not  .  o      i     •  i  o       •  i 

doit      was  mstructed  m  the  Scriptures  as  they 

out  of  r-  J 

^°to  ciS*  were  expounded  from  the  pulpit,  and  read 
by  men  ;  and  yet,  till  after  I  was  twenty- 
one  years  old,  I  groped  without  the  knowl- 
edge of  God  in  Christ  Jesus.  I  know  not 
what  the  tablets  of  eternity  have  written 
154 


262  Pulpit   Pungencies  262 

down,  but  I  think  that  when  I  stand  in 
Zion  and  before  God,  the  brightest  thing 
which  I  shall  look  back  upon  will  be  that 

He  did  not 

blessed  morning  of  May,  when  it  pleased  j^oi*^ 
God  to  reveal  to  my  wandering  soul  the  ^^toChris?* 
idea  that  it  was  his  nature  to  love  a  man  in 
his  sins  for  the  sake  of  helping  him  out  of 
them  ;  that  he  did  not  do  it  out  of  compli- 
ment to  Christ,  or  to  a  law,  or  a  plan  of 
salvation,  but  from  the  fullness  of  his  great 
heart ;  that  he  was  a  Being  not  made  mad 
by  sin,  but  sorry ;  that  he  was  not  furious 
with  wrath  toward  the  sinner,  but  pitied 
him — in  short,  that  he  felt  toward  me  as 
my  mother  felt  toward  me,  to  whose  eyes 
my  wrong  doing  brought  tears,  who  never 
pressed  me  so  close  to  her  as  when  I  had 
done  wrong,  and  who  would  fain,  with  her 
yearning  love,  lift  me  out  of  trouble.  And 
when  I  found  that  Jesus  Christ  had  such  a 
disposition,  and  that  when  his  disciples  did 
wrong,  he  drew  them  closer  to  him  than  he 
did  before — that  when  pride,  and  jealousy, 
and  rivalry,  and  all  vulgar  and  worldly  feel- 
ings rankled  in  their  bosoms,  he  opened 
155 


I 

He  did  not 
do  it 
out  of 


262  Pulpit  Pungencies  263 

his  heart  to  them  as  a  medicine  to  heal 
these  infirmities  ;  when  I  found  that  it  was 
Christ's  nature  to  lift  men  out  of  weakness 
to  strength,  out  of  impurity  to  goodness, 
^"to'chris^  ^^^  ^f  everything  low  and  debasing  to  su- 
periority, I  felt  that  I  had  found  a  God.  I 
shall  never  forget  the  feelings  with  which 
I  walked  forth  that  May  morning.  The 
golden  pavements  will  never  feel  to  my  feet 
as  then  the  grass  felt  to  them. — Morning 
Sermon,  October  2,  1859. 

I    GO  back,  now,  to  my  own  ministry.     I 
have  got  to  begin  to  talk  about  myself 
as  an  old  man,  before  long.     I  have  been, 

19  of  them 

were  women,  thus  tar,  talkmc:  as  thousfh  1  were  youno^ ; 

and  the  '  o  o  y  o  7 

other  was    \^^^  J  i^^^  ^hat  I  aui  remembcrino:  back  too 


nothmg 


'& 


far  for  that,  when  I  go  back  to  the  time 
when  I  first  became  the  pastor  of  a  church. 
It  was  twenty  years  ago.  I  remember  that 
the  flock  which  I  first  gathered  in  the 
wilderness  consisted  of  twenty  persons. 
Nineteen  of  them  were  women,  and  the 
other  was  nothing. —  Wednesday  Evening 
Lecture,  November  i6,  1859. 

156 


264  Pulpit   Pungencies  264 

I     VERY    well    remember    going   back, 
after  having  arrived  at  years  of  man- 
hood, to  the  school-house  where  I  did  not 

The 

receive  my  early  education.     I    measured     schooi- 

-'  J  ma  am 

the  Stones  which,  in  my  childhood,  it 
seemed  that  a  giant  could  not  lift,  and  I 
could  almost  turn  them  over  with  my  foot ! 
I  measured  the  trees  which  seemed  to  loom 
up  to  the  sky,  wondrously  large,  but  they 
had  shrunk,  grown  shorter,  and  outspread 
narrower.  I  looked  into  the  old  school- 
house,  and  how  small  the  whittled  benches 
and  the  dilapidated  tables  were,  compared 
with  my  boyhood  impression  of  them !  I 
looked  over  the  meadows  across  which  my 
little  toddling  feet  had  passed.  They  had 
once  seemed  to  me  to  be  broad  fields,  but 
now  but  narrow  ribbons,  lying  between  the 
house  and  the  water.  I  marveled  at  the 
apparent  change  which  had  taken  place  in 
these  things,  and  thought  what  a  child  I 
must  have  been  when  they  seemed  to  me 
to  be  things  of  great  importance.  The 
school-ma'am— oh  !  what  a  being  I  thought 
she  was  !  and  the  school-master — how  awe- 
157 


264  Pulpit  Pungencies  266 

stricken  I  was  in  his  presence !     So  look- 
ing and  wistfully  remembering,   I  said  to 
myself,    "Well,    one    bubble  has   broken." 
school-     But  when  you  shall  stand  above,  and  look 

ma  am  •' 

back  with  celestial  and  clarified  vision  upon 
this  world — this  rickety  old  school-house 
earth — it  will  seem  smaller  to  you  than  to 
me  that  old  village  school. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, November  6,  1859. 


The 
school 
ma'am 


T 


heterodox 
sleeping 


O  those,  therefore,  who  have  no  sort 
of  obje6lion  to  the  profound  sleep 
Orthodox  of  the  san6luary,  I  must  stand  as  an  enig- 
ma. As  for  me,  I  have  no  sympathy  with 
sleeping  in  the  san6luary,  whether  it  be 
orthodox  sleeping  or  heterodox  sleeping. — 
Eve7ii7ig  SermoHy  yanuary  8,  i860. 


BUT    I    must   desist.     The   clock   gets 
^^^  through  before  I  do  every  Sunday. 


I  would  that  it  were  slower  ;  for  though  I 
often  begin  sorrowfully  and  heavily,  the 
time  for  me  to  stop  never  arrives  that  I  do 

158 


266  Pulpit  Pungencies  268 

not  feel  that  I  would  fain  continue  till  the 
going  down  of  the  sun. — Morning  Sermon^ 
September  18,  1859. 


I 


F  at  any  time  I  have  seemed  to  you  or 
to  others  to  run  with  undue  severity 


upon  men,  or  churches,  or  orders  of  men,  try  to  pray 
or  institutions,  it  has  never  been  from  any 
personal  bitterness.  I  do  not  think  I  feel 
personal  bitterness  toward  any  man.  Nor 
do  I  ever  feel  angry,  except  when  I  see  one 
man  injuring  another.  I  confess  that  some- 
times, when  I  see  a  strong  man  taking  ad- 
vantage of  a  weaker  one,  I  do  feel  an  in- 
dignation which  has  a  little  rancor  in  it ; 
but  I  try  to  pray  that  down. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, yamiary  8,  i860. 

T  HAVE  sometimes  pra6liced  rifle  shoot- 
-^      ing,   not  at  men,  but  at  targets  and        ^ 
trees — a  very  innocent  recreation;   and  I  woSdH^tgo 
have  noticed  one  thing  in  connexion  with  asiM^uid 

^  for  other 

It,  and  that  was,  that  the  pleasure  derived     people 
from   it   was    oftentimes    very  nearly  out- 
weighed by  the  vexation  caused  by  poor 
159 


Bullet 


268  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  270 

shooting.     When  the  mark  seemed  within 

easy  reach,  and  others  firing  at  it  centred 

it  at  almost  every  shot,  I  fired  out  of  range 

wouldn't  go  in  a  hundred  ways.     I  fired  wide,  first  on 

for  me  -' 

^or^Ther"^  this  sidc,  thcn  on  that,  then  under  and  then 
people  ^^^gj. .  ^^^^  practice  did  not  seem  to  make 
the  matter  much  better.  My  eyes  were 
too  big,  my  hand  was  all  tremulous,  and 
the  bullet  wouldn't  go  for  me  as  it  would 
for  other  people. — Evening  Sermon,  Novem- 
ber 2,  1859. 

I    NEVER  get  drunk  myself;  but  when 
a  man  who  is  addicled  to  drunkenness 

never 

^myse"if^  riugs  at  my  door,  and  comes  in,  and  says  to 
me,  "  For  God's  sake,  if  there  is  any  feel- 
ing in  your  heart  for  a  poor  creature,  will 
you  not  pity  me  and  help  to  save  me .'' "  it 
is  not  merely  pity  that  fills  my  soul,  but  I 
ask  myself,  "  Why  did  that  man  come  to 
me.-*" — Morning  Sermon,  October  2^,  1859. 


OW    you    cannot    say    that    I    have 

have  jrot  no       '  '^  ' 


N 


collection    -1  ^      prcached  this  sermon  as  a  leader. 

to  make 

I  have  got  no  collection  to  make,  no  money 
1 60 


women 


270  Pulpit   Ptingencies  272 

to  raise.  I  have  preached  it  because  you 
needed  to  hear  it. — Evening  Sermon,  jFan- 
uary  15,  i860. 


I     WAS    going    to    speak    of 
among  women.     The  only  reason  why 
I  will  not  is  that  I  do  not  wish  the  young 

Swearing 

people  to  know  that  such  a  thinsf  ever  took  ^mo"s 
place.  I  have  written  something  upon  this 
subjedl,  which  I  shall  withhold,  but  I  will 
show  it  to  those  who  wish  to  see  it,  if  they 
will  call  upon  me. — Evening  Sermon,  May 
I,  1859. 


ICEBERGS  do  not  know  that  they  are 
being  melted  at  the  top  and  at  the 
bottom  ;    but  they  are  when  the  summer       and* 

churches 

takes  hold  of  them,  and  the  Gulf  Stream 
flows  beneath  them.  Churches  that  think 
they  are  not  changed,  are  not  as  thick  of 
ice  at  the  top  or  the  bottom  as  they  used 
to  be,  but  there  is  yet  ice  at  the  heart. — 
Morning  Sermon,  March  27,  1859. 
161 


2  73  Pulpit   Pu7zgencies  274 


S' 


OME  men  are,  of  nature,  or  of  long 
experience,  a  second  nature,  exces- 
watch  him"  sively  cautious.  To  act  without  calcula- 
tion they  never  can.  Nor  can  they  believe 
that  others  do.  Therefore,  a  mistake  of 
mere  heedlessness  in  a  neighbor  is  a  de- 
sign, a  deceit ;  he  meant  something  ;  some- 
thing more  than  lies  on  the  face  of  it. 
"  I'll  watch  him  ;  I'll  suspe6l  him  ;  I'll  find 
him  out  ;  he  shan't  circumvent  me  ! " — 
Evejiing  Sermon,  February  12,  i860. 


I 


SAY  that  we  are  bringing  our  children 
up  vulgarly,  and  infidelly,  when  we 
inndeiiy  ^^^^j^  ^^^^  ^^  associate  God  with  the  Bible, 
with  churches,  and  with  other  things  that 
are  counted  sacred  in  the  world,  and  do 
not  teach  them  to  associate  Him  with  the 
works  of  nature.  I  think  it  is  much  easier 
to  think  of  the  rugged  mountain,  the  bril- 
liant stars,  and  the  effulgent  sun,  as  speak- 
ing of  God,  than  to  think  of  dumb  churches 
as  speaking  of  Him — Morning  Sermon,  yidy 
10,  1859. 

162 


2  75  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  276 

A   ND  so  as  playing  for  nothing  is  a  very 
•^^^     insipid   process,    men   soon   get   to 
playing,  not  for  money,  but  for  the  drink,  to1iave°thl 
for  some  little  token,  for  nuts,  for  the  sup-    inoculate 

^  them 

per,  or  something  of  the  sort.  They  play 
for  small  amounts,  just  enough  to  keep 
their  hand  nerved,  just  enough  to  keep 
an  obje6l  before  their  mind,  just  enough 
to  have  the  devil  inoculate  them  with  a 
passion  for  gambling ;  and  the  moment 
they  have  once  got  the  virus  in  them, 
then  it  is  no  longer  at  their  option  how 
far  they  shall  go.  Suppose  a  man  should 
go  to  his  physician,  and  say  to  him  :  "  Be 
kind  enough  to  inoculate  me  with  the  small- 
pox, so  that  I  shall  have  the  small-pox  a 
Httle ! "  Suppose  a  man  should  ask  to  be 
inoculated  with  the  plague,  so  that  he 
might  have  just  a  taste  of  the  plague. — 
Evening  Sermon,  March  4,  i860. 

T    LOOK  at  the  life  and  disposition  of 
-■-      these  men  who  cry  for  the  lullaby  of     Sunday 
love  in  the  family,  in  the  store,  in  all  de-   ^""Jay"*"^ 
partments  of  their  life,  and  I  find  that  they 
163 


276  Pulpit  Pungencies  277 

abhor  love  except  on  Sunday  when  I  preach 
on   that  doftrine  of  God's   moral  govern- 
^"'tr     ment.     But  if  I  were  to  go  to  them  at  their 
""day'*"^   places  of  business,  and  say,  "  I  understand 
that   you   take   advantage   of  the   circum- 
stances of  your  workmen,  and  employ  them 
at  one-quarter  of  what  they  ought  to  have, 
so  that  they  can  scarcely  subsist  on  what 
you  pay  them :  and  as  you  wanted  me  to 
preach  about  love,  I  thought  I  would  come 
and  tell  you  what  the  do6lrine  of  love  is 
as  applied  to   matters   of  this  kind,"   they 
would  say,  "  Religion  is  religion,  and  busi- 
ness is   business.     Go  home,  and  when   I 
want  you  to  come  to  my  shop  and  preach 
to   me,    I    will   let   you   know."     In  other 
words,  they  want  sermon  love,  poetic  love, 
theoretic  love,  love  that   makes   them   feel 
good  during  the  insurance  day  ;    for  Sun- 
day is  the  insurance  day  of  the  week ! — 
Morning  Sermon,  February  5,  i860. 


Investments   X^T  INE    huudrcd    and    ninety-nine   men 
lower  way    1  ^       in  a  tliousaud,  and  oftentimes  one 

of  living 

more,  have  such  investments  in  the  lower 


2  77  Pttlpil   Pungencies  279 

way  of  living  that  they  feel  not  only  re- 
buked but  angry,  when  by  a  higher  view 
you  humble  their  attainments  and  stain 
their  conceit  of  excellence. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, November  17,  1859. 

MEN  may  talk  as  much  as  they  please 
against  the  Calvinists,  and  Puritans, 
and  Presbyterians  ;  but  you  will  find  that 
when  they  want  to  make  an  investment  they 
have  no  obje6lion  to  Calvinism,  or  Puritan- 
ism, or  Presbyterianism.  They  know  that 
where  these  systems  prevail,  where  the  doc- 
trine of  man's  obligation  to  God  and  men  is 
taught  and  pra6liced,  there  their  capital  may 
be  safely  invested. — Evening  Sermon,  Feb- 
ruary 10,  i860. 

MEN  whose  hfe  is  yet  hot  with  indig- 
nation at  the  oppression  which  they 
suffered  in  their  own  land,  when  they  come 
to  America  are  marked,  above  all  others, 
for  arrogance  and  cruelty  to  those  that  are 
put  under  them.  There  is  not  another 
nation  in  this  world  that  has  said  so  much, 

16S 


The  doctrine  " 

for 
Investments 


The  Irish 


2 


279  Pulpit   Pungencies  281 

and  said  it  so  eloquently,  against  dynastic 
oppressions,  as  the  Irish,  and  if  there  is  a 
nation  that  is  meaner  than  any  other  in 
their  treatment  of  their  inferiors,  it  is  the 
Irish.  It  is  their  shame.  I  am  sorry  that 
it  is  so,  for  the  Irish  have  too  many  noble 
traits  to  be  disfigured  by  this  hateful  one. — 
Morning  Sermon,  July  17,  1859. 


I 


F,  when  you  are  sent  on  little  mean- 
nesses,   you    trot    quickly,    men    will 
.  It        mark  you,  and  say,  "  He  is  fit  for  it."     But 

in  him  J        '  J  ' 

if  when  men  attempt  to  put  upon  you  this 
miserable  business,  and  find  you  stifi"  in 
opposition,  they  will  mark  you  then  also, 
and  say,  "  Is  that  pretence,  or  is  it  real  .^ " 
and  then  they  will  try  you  again  in  two  or 
three  ways  ;  and  by  and  by  they  will  begin 
to  say,  "  I  don't  know  but  the  boy  has  got 
it  in  him  ;  I  have  heard  about  a  conscience." 
— Evening  Sermon,  May  18,  1859. 


Sold       XT  AY,  all  this  is  nothing.     There  are 
\    under      1  ^       mcn  who  Carry  on  a  trade  in  litera- 

ihe  skirts 

ture  and  of  art  which'  must  make  Belial 
i66 


28 1         Pulpit  Pungencies  281 

blush.     Books  that  poison  the  imagination     jackal 

engravers 

and  unsettle  the  moral  principles  of  men 
are  multitudinous,  and  forever  multiplying  ; 
subterranean  libraries  hawked  in  secret,  sold 
from  under  the  skirts,  clandestinely  read ; 
books  that,  like  vermin,  hide  from  sight  by 
day,  in  cracks  and  crevices,  and  creep  out 
in  darkness  and  at  night  to  suck  the  very 
blood  of  virtue.  And  this  is  a  business  ; 
to  write  them,  to  print  them,  to  bind  them, 
to  sell  them  and  to  hawk  and  dispense  them. 
There  are  whole  classes  of  men,  and  of 
women — God  have  mercy  on  the  world  ! — 
who  live  by  it,  who  have  their  ambitions 
in  it,  and  who  stand,  by  the  relative  de- 
grees of  corruption,  higher  or  lower  than 
each  other.  The  whole  scale  of  virtue 
is  turned  bottom  side  up,  and  the  things 
that  are  down  on  the  scale  of  God,  are 
up  on  the  scale  of  wicked  men.  They 
glory  in  their  shame  !  Nay,  pi6lures  even 
worse    than    these    abound.      No    tongue  , 

could  speak   their   abominations.     Human 
language  has   not  formed  any  words  that 
can  follow  the  palette  of  the  painters  of 
167 


Jackal 
engravers 


Nothing 

but  a 
Jack-knife 


281  Piilpit  Pu7igencies  282 

the  school  of  BeUal,  or  the  burins  of 
their  jackal  engravers.  And  thousands 
are  engaged  in  this  systematic  corrup- 
tion, and  take  delight  in  their  work. 
There  are  exporters,  and  importers,  and 
wholesale  dealers,  and  retail  dealers,  and 
colporteurs,  diftusing  them  everywhere. 
And  God  permits  all  this  organized  cor- 
ruption to  exist.  I  will  not  trace  it 
further,  although  I  have  not  exhausted, 
by  a  great  way,  this  terrible  witch-cal- 
dron of  earth  and  time. — Evening  Ser- 
mon,   October  23,    1859. 


A  MAN  may  be  a  millionaire,  and  yet 
be  so  miserable  as  to  groan  all  day 
and  curse  all  night.  A  man  may  have  all 
the  outside  things  which  the  world  affords, 
and  yet  not  be  a  happy  man.  One  man 
may  have  a  chest  full  of  excellent  tools, 
and  be  a  bungling  workman  ;  while  another 
man  may  have  nothing  but  a  jack-knife,  and 
be  a  skillful  workman. — Evening  Sermon^ 
February  10,  i860. 

168 


283  Pulpit  Pungencies  285 


H 


AD  we  iudoced  the  case  without  the     Jacob, 

■*        °  ^  and  not 

eiiHghtening    influence    of    God's      Esau 
word,  we  should  have  said  that  Jacob  was 
the  wicked  man,  and  not  Esau. — Evening 
Sermon,  January  29,  i860. 


In  their  own 


BUILD  yourselves  up  first,  and  then 
your  property.  There  are  many  men  ^"  *  jau 
who  build  up  their  fortune  first,  and  build 
themselves  in  it,  so  that  when  the  roof  is 
on  they  are  in  their  own  jail,  and  cannot 
get  out. — Evening  Sermon,  February  5, 
i860. 

IF  a  man  asks,  " Do  you  suppose  that  a 
virp-in  can  be  a  mother.?"    my  reply 
is  this  :  The  New  Testament  tells  us  that      aside 

the  ordinary 

the  Savior  was  conceived  of  the  Holy  Janitor 
Ghost  and  born  of  a  woman.  The  event 
was  so  far  removed  from  the  ordinary  pro- 
cesses of  natural  law,  that  I  have  no  diffi- 
culty in  beheving  that  it  occurred  as  it  is 
described,  by  the  power  of  God.  Shall  I 
beheve  that  He  who  ordained,  from  the 
beginning  of  the  world,  that  we  should 
169 


285  Pulpit    Pungencies  285 

spring  into  life  from  the  life  and  body  of 
another,  could  not  control  that  wonderful 
as'ide  arrangement,  so  that  His  Son  should  be 
Janitor  boHi  of  a  woman  ?  The  marvel  to  me  is, 
that  men  are  ever  born  of  man  and  woman 
at  all ;  that  God  ordained  such  a  gate  from 
the  other  life  into  this.  I  can  never  enough 
wonder  at  that  profound  and  sacred  mys- 
tery where  two  lives,  quickened  into  union 
by  the  rapture  of  unspeakable  love,  flash 
forth  the  spark  of  another  being.  It  seems 
to  me,  in  view  of  the  perpetuated  marvel  of 
the  beginnings  of  human  life,  a  very  little 
thing  to  suppose  that  God  could  make  a 
special  use  of  these  powers.  And  when 
the  myriad  wombs  that,  since  the  dawn  of 
time,  have  issued  the  human  race,  have  re- 
ceived the  power  to  do  it  from  the  living  re- 
membrance and  inspiration  of  God's  mind, 
shall  I  stagger  to  believe  that  in  a  single 
instance  he  could  control  that  organization 
to  his  own  divine  and  beneficent  purposes  } 
May  not  He  who  created  the  very  door  of 
human  life  push  aside  the  ordinary  janitor, 
and,  with  his  own  hands,  unlatch  its  por- 
170 


285  Pitlpit  Pungencies  288 

tals,  and  let  his  Son  come  through  "i—Evm- 
inor  Sermon,  October  2,  i^S9' 


<i» 


HOW  many  men  have  been  ruined  by 
self-examination!  And  yet,  trads 
and  books  are  published,  and  sermons  are 
preached,  and  exhortations  are  made,  with- 
out number,  urging  men  to  self-examina- 
tion, as  if  fantasy  must  run  into  folly.  Men 
are  set  to  write  journals.  I  know  who  in- 
vented that  trick.  The  devil  invented  it ! 
It  is  a  device  of  his  to  tempt  men. — Even- 
ing  Sermon,  November  6,  1859. 

WHEN  a  man  has  certain  traits  which 
constitute  the  leading  features  of 
his  charaaer,  we  call  those  traits  his  dispo- 
sition. Thus,  there  are  some  men  that  live 
in  their  thoughts.  They  are  dry  everywhere 
except  in  their  intellea  ;  but  there  they  are 
juicy. — Morning  Sermon,  August  7,  1859. 

I    THINK  that  many  persons  are  like 
many  houses  which  we  see.     If  you 
go   into   the   front   hall,   you   find  it  very 
171 


The  devil 
invented 
J  ouruals 


Juicy 
in  their 
intellect 


What  a 

Jumbled 

up 


What  a 


288  Pulpit  Pungencies  289 

nice  ;  if  you  go  into  the  show-parlor,  you 
find  everything  in  order  there  ;  and  if 
Jumbled  you  go  into  the  sitting-room,  you  find 
mess!  nothing  out  of  the  way  there.  But  if, 
unluckily,  you  open  a  cupboard  door,  what 
a  jumbled  up  mess  do  you  behold !  Many 
people  have,  in  their  Christian  character, 
a  nice  front  hall,  a  fine  parlor,  and  a  clean 
sitting-room.  —  Evening  Sermon,  Jamtary 
22,   i860. 


SUPPOSE  a  man,  in  a  moment  of  anger, 
were  to  give  two  hundred  thousand 
dollars  to  a  religious  society — I  won't  call 


$200,000 


angels,     auy  uames — leavins:  his  wife  and  children 

and  an  "^  "^ 

impartial  dcstitute  ;  suppose  that  wife  were  to  notify 
the  managers  of  the  society  of  the  facts  of 
the  case,  explaining  to  them  that  her  hus- 
band wrote  tw^o  wills,  and  that  through 
inadvertence,  as  she  believed,  he  had  signed 
the  wrong  one  ;  and  suppose,  notwithstand- 
ing these  circumstances,  these  managers 
were  to  claim  that  God  had  put  this  money 
into  their  hands,  to  be  expended  for  re- 
ligious purposes,  and  that  therefore  it  was 
172 


289  Pttlpit   Pungencies  291 

their  duty  to  retain  it,  do  you  believe,  that 
though  all  the  angels  in  heaven  should  tes- 
tify that  these  men  were  guided  in  their 
course  by  Christian  principles,  an  impartial 
jury  could  be  found  who  would  believe  it? 
— Morning  Sermon,  March  21,  1859. 

IN  teaching  your  children,  you  have  to 
invent  little  parables,  simple  stories  ; 
you  have  to  go  into  their  play-houses,  and  "God^^id 
make  use  of  the  things  you  find  there, 
likening  them  to  the  things  you  wish  to 
teach.  You  have  to  do  just  what  God  did 
in  the  formation  of  the  Book  of  Revelation. 
You  are  obliged  to  imagine  conditions  in 
the  sphere  of  the  child's  playthings,  his 
cakes,  his  tops,  his  books,  his  carriages,  his 
knife,  or  his  other  trinkets,  that  shall  inter- 
pret to  him,  by  his  own  knowledge,  the 
things  you  wish  to  instil  into  his  mind. — 
Morning  Sermon,  April  2 A^,  1859. 


T 


HE  moment  that  a  man  loses  his  in-   ba^'*^and 


dependence,  so  that  before  he  utters       £ 
a  truth  he  must  be  sure  that  it  will  not 
173 


291  Pulpit    Pungencies  292 

kick   back   and   hurt   him,  he   is   gone. — 
Morning  Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 


I 


Kicks 

you 
into  the 
bosom 
of  God's 


AM  frequently  visited  by  persons  whose 
consciences  are  troubled  with  cases  of 
this  kind  ;  perhaps  they  come  to  me  say- 
ing :  "  I  am  an  only  son  and  my  mother  is 
Providence  ^  widow  ;  I  have  just  got  into  a  large  estab- 
lishment where  my  employer  tells  me  I 
must  take  cognizance  of  such  and  such 
things,  which  my  conscience  tells  me  are 
wrong.  He  says  :  *  I  must  do  it  or  quit.' 
Now,  sir,  what  shall  I  do  1  Shall  I  sacri- 
fice all  my  prospects  in  life  and  give  up  my 
situation  ;  or  will  not  the  Lord  wink  at  it, 
since  it  is  my  employer's  business,  and  I 
am  working  under  duress?"  If  I  under- 
stand the  words  of  Jesus  Christ,  he  says  it 
is  better  to  lose  your  life  than  to  do  wrong. 
Christ  has  said  to  you.  Forfeit  your  right 
hand  :  but  here,  instead  of  that,  it  is  only 
your  place.  Suppose  the  merchant  kicks 
you  out,  where  does  he  kick  you  to  }  Into 
the  bosom  of  God's  providence  !  You  think 
of  this  man  who  promises  to  let  you  sleep 
174 


Kicks 

you 

into  the 


292  Pulpit   Pungencies  293 

under  the  counter,  to  draw  your  $400  the 
first  year,  and  $500  the  next ;  and  you 
think  it  is  worth  while  to  look  after  him  ; 
while   He  who  sits   on  the  throne  of  the     bosom 

of  God's 

universe,  and  promises  you  an  eternity  of  P^vidence 
life,  is  not  to  be  regarded  !  No,  I  say  ;  go 
out  of  any  establishment  that  insists  on 
your  being  a  wicked  man,  quicker  than  a 
shot ;  go  out  of  it  and  keep  out  of  it ;  un- 
less when  you  made  the  bargain  and  he 
bought  your  services,  he  bought  yourself 
too.  In  that  case  I  have  nothing  to  say : 
I  don't  preach  to  slaves. — Evening  Setmon^ 
yime  12,  1859. 


WHERE  the  Christian  faith  has 
been  brought  home  to  the  un- 
derstanding and  conscience  and  affe(51;ions 
of  men,  where  it  has  entered  into  men's 
pradtical  lives,  there  have  been  seen  the 
best  farms,  the  best  ships,  the  best  mines, 
the  best  manufa6lories,  the  best  schools, 
the  best  books,  the  best  clothes,  the  best 
food  :   for  religion  runs  clear  down  to  the 


Religion 

runs 

clear  down 

to  the 

Kitchen 


175 


293  Pnlpit  Pungencies  295 

kitchen  ! — Evening   Sermon,   Fehntary    10, 
i860. 


w 


you 
not  get  in 


HEN  you  come  to  the  gate  of 
heaven,  you  may  be  sure,  if  you 
Knock,  knock,  and  say,  "  Lord,  Lord,  open  unto 
me,"  that  you  will  not  get  in.  A  man  that 
is  fit  to  go  in,  always  goes  up  without 
dreaming  that  God  will  not  let  him  in. 
He  expe6ls  to  find  the  gate  open. — Morji- 
ing  Sermon,  Febrimry  8,  i860. 


u 


M 


OST  men  treat  those  mercies  as  I 
have  seen  persons  treat  flowers 
KrtDw  that  I  had  given  them.  They  took  them 
with  an  indifferent  "  Thank  you,"  but 
seemed  to  regard  them  as  so  many  mere 
leaves,  or  as  some  miserable,  worthless 
things,  and  presently  commenced  picking 
them  to  pieces  ;  and  by  the  time  they  had 
taken  twenty  steps  the  walk  was  strewn 
with  fragments  of  them,  and  I  looked  after 
them  and  said,  "  If  you  get  another  gift 
from  me,  you  will  know  it." — Morning  Ser- 
mon, yune  5,  1859. 

176 


Knowledge- 
able 
men 


296  Pulpit   Pungencies  297 

AND   that  whole  owl  set  of  men,  that 
raven,  black-wdnged-prophet  set,  that 

,    Jvnowiec 

sit  on  the  dry  branches  of  nature,  and  able 
croak  about  this  miserable  world  and  this 
miserable  life,  belong  outside  of  the  line  of 
Christianity.  Not  only  are  they  not  dis- 
ciples of  Christ,  but  they  are  not  knowledge- 
able men  even  in  the  elemxcnts  of  Chris- 
tianity.— ]\Iorning  Sermon,  March  11,  i860. 


T 


HERE  are  men  who  think  they  un- 
derstand the  system  of  the  universe. 
They  have  got  up  early,  and  found  out  all 
about   God.     They  will  bring  their  book, 
and  tell  you  exactly   how   he   was    made, 
what  his  decrees  are,   and  what  his  pur- 
poses are  ;  and  if  you  do  not  believe  what 
they   say,   they  will  damn   you — they  will 
swing  around  the  scythe  of  their  zeal,  and 
cut  you  in  pieces.     They  know  all  about 
heaven  and  earth.     They  have  their  fences 
built  and  their  lines  drawn  in  regard  to  all 
these  matters.     They  do  not  know  so  much 
about  love — that  is  only  a  morality  ;  they 
do  not  know  so  much  about  patience — that, 
177 


A  man 
who 

Knows 
more  than 
God  does 


297  Pulpit    Pnngcncies  298 

too,  is  a  moral  aftair ;   they  do  not  know  so 

much   about  gentleness  —  that  belongs    to 

who"     sentimental  piety ;    they  do   not  know  so 

Knows 

Goddoes°  ^^^^^^  about  long-suffering  —  any  moralist 
can  tell  you  about  that.  But  about  the 
everlasting  truths  of  this  universe  ;  about 
truths  that  radiate  from  the  heart  of  the 
universal  God  ;  about  the  truths  that  end- 
less ages  shall  not  reveal,  and  that  we  shall 
not  be  able  to  understand  till  we  have  out- 
grown these  mortal  parts  and  experiences  ; 
about  these,  they  are  not  only  conceitedly 
positive,  but  despotic.  Deliver  me  from  a 
man  who  knows  more  than  God  does. — 
Morning  Sermon,  April  24,  1859. 


T 


HE  experiences  of  love  are  such  some- 
times, even  in  this  life,  as  to  be  an 

The  ,  ,  ,    .  .  . 

testament    camcst,  a  blcsscd  mterpretation,  of  some- 

in 

Labor  thing  more  glorious  yet  to  come.  There  is 
one  thing  which  the  New  Testament  is 
always  in  labor  with,  and  which  is  never 
born,  and  that  is  the  conception  of  the 
greatness  of  the  love  of  Christ  to  our 
souls. — Morning  Sermon,  November  6,  1859. 

178 


!99  Pulpii   Pu7igencies 


G 


OD  has  laid  in  material  for  this  affec- 
^     tion  abundantly  ;   and  the  mother  is 


.    ,        ,  God  has 

not  more  admirably  formed  to  nourish  the     Laid  in 

•^  .  matenal 

infant  body  by  her  own,  than  to  nourish  its 
heart  by  her  heart.  Its  soul  feeds  at  her 
heart,  as  much  as  its  body  at  her  bosom, 
and  with  this  difference,  that  the  child  is 
never  weaned  from  its  soul-breast. — Even- 
ing Sermon,  February  26,  i860. 


I 


T  has  been  supposed  that  all  of  God's 
likening  himself  to  man  in  the  Bible, 


Won't  come 

is  on  account  of  our  weakness  ;    and  that    together 

and  Lap 

accordingly,  it  is  to  be  interpreted  as  giving 
us  some  proximate  idea  of  what  God  is, 
but  not  as  giving  us  the  real  truth.  Well, 
what's  the  use  of  proximate  truth  that  is 
not  a  bit  like  the  real  truth,  I  should  like  to 
know .?  If  a  man  wishes  to  unite  two  ends 
of  a  rope,  and  they  will  come  together 
within  half  an  inch,  but  won't  come  any 
nearer,  it  would  be  no  worse  if  they  did  not 
come  within  half  a  mile  of  each  other.  So 
long  as  they  won't  come  together  and  lap, 
it  makes  no  difference  how  much  they  lack 
179 


300  Pulpit   Pu7igencies  302 

of  meeting. — Morning   Sermon,   February 
27,   1859. 


ALL  that  religious  indolence  which  we 
sometimes    see   in   formal   religious 


God's  glory  ,  .  .11  i       1 

and  human  men,  and  sometimes  m  churches,  and  that 

Laziness 

afledled  fear  of  taking  God's  work  out  of 
his  hands,  is  a  delusion  and  a  snare.  I 
sympathize  with  those  men  who  fear  that 
the  name  of  God  may  become  unreverenced, 
and  who  desire  to  add  to  the  declarative 
glory  of  God  ;  but  not  with  those  men  who 
suppose  that  God's  glory  is  augmented  by 
human  laziness  under  any  pious  name  what- 
ever.—  Morning  Sermon,  September 2"^,  1859. 

A  MAN  is,  as  it  were,  a  cask  of  wine. 
The  figure  would  have  been  allow- 
empty      able  in  the  days  of  Christ,  more  allowable, 

because  ,  ,  .      .      . 

you  perhaps,  than  it  is  in  our  temperance  days  ! 
all  over  _^  worm  guaws  through  a  stave.  It  is  a 
small  worm,  not  half  so  large  as  a  knitting- 
needle.  The  moment  he  comes  to  the  wine 
he  draws  out  his  head — for  worms  are  not 
as  fond  of  wine  as  men  are ! — and  a  drop 
180 


You  are 


because 
you 
Leak 

all  over 


302  Pulpit  Pttngencies  302 

follows  him,  only  a  drop.     Another  worm, 
on  the  other  side  of  the  cask,  gnaws  through 
another  stave.     He  gets  a  drop,  and  draws     ^empty 
back.     On  each  end  there  are  a  dozen  or 
twenty  other  worms  eating  their  way  to 
the  wine.     Not  one  of  them  is  as  big  as 
a  mite  ;  but  fifty  or  sixty  of  them  together, 
if  each  makes  a  hole  only  large  enough  to 
allow  a  drop  to  pass  through  it,  are  suffi- 
cient to  cause  the  waste  of  all  the  precious 
contents  of  the  cask.     After  the  lapse  of  a 
day,  a  week,  a  month,  or  six  months,  the 
vintner  goes  to  see  his  treasure  ;  and  be- 
hold, the  cask  sounds  as  empty  as  a  hypo- 
crite's heart!     There  is  not  a  drop  in  it. 
And   yet,   it   looks   like   a   cask    of  wine. 
Where  have  the  contents  gone }     Not  one 
pint  has  been  surreptitiously  drawn  by  the 
servant  that  gets  blamed,  or  by  the  thief 
that  the  vintner  accuses  without  knowing 
who   he  is.     The  wine  has  all  leaked  out 
at  holes  not  large  enough  to  admit  of  the 
discharge  of  more  than  one  drop  at  a  time. 
Now,  ten  miUion  Uttle  meannesses,  ten  mil- 
lion selfishnesses,  ten  million  pettishnesses, 
181 


302  Ptilpit   Pungencies  304 

ten  million  waspish  dispositions,  pierce  and 
puncture  the  heart,  and  all  its  graces  are 
drawn  out.  You  are  empty  because  you 
leak  all  over ! — Morning  Scrmony  February 
5,  i860. 


o 


H,    thou    honest    legal    thief!     God 
writes    thee    down   a   fitter    tenant 

Thou  honest      r      i         •    -i       i  t  i       •     •       r^^ 

Legal      of  the  lail  than  yonder  culprit!     Ihe  un- 

thief!  ^  •'  ^ 

whipped  crimes  of  men  undete6led,  are 
often  worse  than  the  crimes  that  officers 
make  known  and  punish. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, February  12,  i860. 

TRUTHS  are  to  be  measured  by  this 
test — can  you  reduce  them  to  life 
main      and  practice  .^     A  man  may,  by  apparently 
logic      the  most  sound  process  of  reasoning,  draw 
forth  seemingly  wonderful  truths,   and  he 
may  appear  to  demonstrate  them  clearly, 
while  yet  there  is  nothing  of  them.     There 
has   not  been  so  much  legerdemain  in  all 
the  magicians   from   Pharaoh's  day  to  our 
own,  as  there  is  in  logic.     Logic  is  proved 
to  be  the  only  unlying  thing  we  have,  and 
182 


Takes 


304  Pulpit  Ptinge7tcies  305 

still,  it  lies  like  a  witch,  incessantly. — Morn- 
ing Serni07i,  January  30,  1859. 


THERE  are  some  men  who  teach,  and 
many  who  understand,  that  religion 
is  a  sudden,  an  instantaneous,  distin6live  onetTnd 
experience  of  moral  power,  a  kind  of  health-  fly 
ful,  divine  sun-stroke.  They  seem  to  have 
an  idea  respecting  religion  which  I  can 
liken  to  nothing  except  the  imagination  the 
ancients  had  respe6ling  lightning,  which 
represented  Jupiter  as  having  a  store  of 
bolts  all  about  him,  so  that  when  he  wished 
to  strike  anything,  with  power,  he  had  but 
to  sele6l  a  bolt,  and  hurl  it  down  upon  the 
oak,  the  building,  or  the  impious  man,  as 
the  case  might  be.  So  these  men  seem  to 
suppose  that  God  has  about  him  a  store  of 
bolts  in  the  shape  of  blessings  ;  that  when 
the  proper  time  comes  he  puts  his  eye  upon 
an  ele6l  soul,  and  takes  one  of  these  bolts, 
and  lets  it  fly  at  that  soul ;  that  the  mo- 
ment the  bolt  has  struck,  the  man  is  del- 
uged with  religion  ;   and  that  from  that  in- 

183 


Limber- 
backed 


A 


305  Pulpit  Pungencies  307 

stant  he  is  pervaded  with  the  Holy  Spirit. 
Morjtmg  Sermon,  May  29,  1859. 


IF  we  have  once  come  to  the  habit  of 
feehng  vigorous  and  intense  disappro- 
bation of  things  evil,  we  shall  be  in  but 
little  danger  of  being  drawn  astray  by 
them.  But  no  man  can  come  into  such 
a  habit,  who  is  limber-backed  in  his  dis- 
likes.— Morning  Sermon,  May  15,  1859. 


T 


HERE  is  a  very  limited  hint  in  nature 

of  the  provisions  of  grace.     There  is 

Limited     a  verv  limited  idea  of  atonement  and  of  re- 
hint  of  "' 

grace  generation  in  nature.  A  broken  bone  will 
grow  together  again.  There  is  in  nature, 
in  certain  stages,  and  up  to  certain  points, 
a  kind  of  provision  for  restoration  from 
mischiefs ;  but  beyond  that  there  is  no 
provision  at  all.  Let  a  man  take  a  tea- 
spoonful  of  prussic  acid,  and  then  let  him 
get  back  to  his  former  state  if  he  can. — 
Evening  Sermon,  October  2'^,  1859. 
184 


3o8  Pulpit   Pimgcncies  309 

ALL  around  about  you  are  men  whom 
vou  despise  and  call  shiftless— empty 

J  ^  ,111  Empty  bags 

bags,  who  never  will  stand  up  although  you      ^^^^ 
fill  them  ever  so  many  times.     Don't  you  bom  Limpsy 
suppose  it  is  a  misfortune  for  a  man  to  be 
born  limpsy  ;    don't  you  suppose  it  is  un-  . 
fortunate  for  a  man  to  be  so  built  that  his 
thoughts  cannot  touch  each  other,  and  can- 
not form  a  concatenation?      Shiftlessness 
is  one  of  the  greatest  misfortunes. — Even- 
ing Scrmoji,  yunc  26,  i2>^g. 


THERE  are  many  persons  who  seem 
to  think  that  when  a  man  becomes 
a  Christian  he  is  bound  to  quote  pious  texts 
continually  ;  but  nothing  can  be  more  de-       talk 
testable  in  the  sight  of  God.     Above  all 
things    avoid   that   loathsome  lubricity  of 
pious  talk.     When  you  hear  men  mouthing 
a  great  deal  about  religion,  and  talking  a 
great  deal  about  their  motives,  you  may  be 
sure  that  those  men  are  wicked,    or  else 
appearances  are  very  deceptive. — Evening 
Sermon,  JMay  15,  1859. 
185 


Loathsome 
lubricity 
of  pious 


3IO  Pidpit   Ptmgencies  312 

THE  two  views  are  these  :    one  says 
mmseit  that  God  built  the  world  as  a  house, 

and  that  he  is  master  of  the  house  ;  and 
the  other  says  that  he  built  the  world  as  a 
house,  and  then  locked  himself  out. — Even- 
ing Sennoji,  September  18,  1859. 


out 


The 

de\-il 
Longer- 
headed 
thau  you 


own 
Look-out 


I 


THINK  no  man  ever  cheated  the 
devil,  and  I  think  no  man  ever  will. 
I  have  no  doubt  that  the  devil  overreaches 
himself  and  cheats  himself;  but  in  any 
transaclion  between  you  and  him,  he  is 
longer-headed  than  you  are. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, Febrnary  10,  i860. 


YOU  have  no  right  to  be  unconcerned 
whether  men  acl  rightly  or  wTongly 
— whether  they  are  good  or  bad.  That 
spirit  which  says,  ''  I  will  take  care  of  my 
own  self,  and  let  other  men  take  care  of 
themselves,"  is  of  the  devil.  The  spirit  of 
God  is  this  :  "  Look  not  every  man  on  his 
own  things,  but  every  man  also  on  the 
things  of  another."  That  spirit  which  says 
of  a  man's  conduct,  "  Oh,  it's  his  own  look- 
186 


312  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  314 

out,  not  mine,"  is  unchristian.  It  is  his 
own  look-out ;  but  it  is  yours,  too  ! — Morn- 
ing Sermon,  October  16,  1859. 


I 


THINK  it  is  one  of  the  hardest  things 

I  Love 


in  the  world  to  say,  I  love  you.  I 
don't  know  why.  A  man  who  could  look 
a  woman  in  the  face  and  say,  I  love  you, 
without  shrinking,  ought  to  shrink.  Love 
is  like  the  ringing  of  bells  ;  they  sound 
sweetly  while  they  are  chiming  ;  but  after 
all  it  is  hard  work  to  ring  them.  And  I 
marvel  at  the  deep,  manly  and  tender  love 
which  Christ  poured  out  upon  his  disciples. 
They  found  in  him  united  both  father  and 
mother.  —  Moiming  Sermon,  yanuary  2, 
1859.     • 


T 


you 


WO    things   make   the    one   universal 

High 

law.     Love  and  serve   God,   is   the    growing 


one  part :  the  other  is.  Love  and  serve 
man  ;  and  the  latter  is  just  as  important 
for  this  world  as  the  former  is  for  the  next 
world.  As  trees  and  crops  run  out  upon 
soils  that  are  deficient  in  the  chemical  in- 
187 


and 
Low-hoein£ 


314  Pulpit  Puitgencies  315 

gredients  required  for  their  growth,  so  will 
any  national  growth  be  spongy  and  full  of 
growing  blights  that  does  not  draw  up  into  itself 
Low-hoeing  the  most  religious  regard  for  human  rights, 
and  the  most  sacred  humanity  toward  the 
weak  and  helpless  in  human  societies.  It 
is  taking  care  of  the  top  that  has  made 
nations  weak.  We  must  take  care  of  the 
root,  and  then  the  top  will  take  care  of 
itself  And  it  is  this  that  we  ought  to 
learn  from  the  New  Testament,  if  any- 
thing :  that  the  secret  of  high  growing  is 
low-hoeing,  and  that  working  at  the  root  is 
the  shortest  road  to  the  blossom. — Morning 
Sermon,  Jidy  17,  1859. 


I 


T  is  a  bad  thing  for  a  man  to  think  too 
toward      J-      much  about  himself,  to  talk  too  much 

things 

outward  about  himsclf,  or  to  examine  himself  too 
much.  The  less  he  indulges  in  these  things 
the  better  he  is  off.  Let  a  man  have  a 
sense  of  duty,  and  take  a  right  direction 
in  life,  and  then  sweep  and  lunge  toward 
things  outward  as  much  as  possible. — Even- 
ing Sermon y  November  6,  1859. 
188 


3i6  Ptilpit    Ptmgencies  317 


w 


HAT  would  you  think  of  an  earthly 
father  who  was  so  perfect  that  his 


Maelzel's 
automaton 


children  could  not  possibly  have  anything  asweiibe 
in  common  with  him ;  who  was  so  perfe6t 
that  he  was  above  their  infantile  sports  ; 
who  was  too  wise  to  talk  of  their  infantile 
follies  ;  who  felt  too  deeply  to  have  sym- 
pathy with  their  little  feelings  ;  and  who 
had  no  conne6lion  with  their  incipient  life, 
and  rude,  imperfe6l  ways  ?  Would  such  a 
chara6ter  be  admirable  in  a  father  ?  He 
might  as  well  be  carved  out  of  marble  ;  or 
he  might  as  well  be  Maelzel's  automaton, 
and  with  turned  crank,  or  wound-up  spring, 
work  out  all  the  duties  he  owes  to  his 
family!  —  Evening  Sermon,  September  18, 
1859. 


G 


OD  says,  "  Let  parents  train  up  their 
children."       Infidel    wisdom    says. 


A  town 

"  Let  the  public  train  them  up  for  them  ;    Magazine 

^  ^  ^    oi  children 

let  them  be  gathered  in  some  common 
building ;  let  nurses  be  hired  to  impart 
nourishment  to  them  ;  let  masters  be  sought 
to   instruct   them.     What   a   thought — to 

189 


317  Pttlpit    Pungencies  318 

break  up  the  nests   of  parental  love  ;    to 

snatch  from   the   mother  her  half-weaned 

Magazine   cliilcl ;  to  bear  this  weeping  wretch  to  the 

of  children 

town  magazine  of  children,  to  be  rubbed, 
and  washed,  and  fed,  and  whipped,  at  so 
much  a  head  by  cheap  hirelings,  to  be 
loved  by  dollars  and  cents'  worth,  to  be 
taught  religion  and  virtue  at  so  much 
apiece !  Every  step  of  the  plan  is  horribly 
unnatural.  It  begins  by  breaking  up  mar- 
riage, and  turning  men  out  as  beasts  roam, 
without  mate.  It  proposes  to  colle6t  the 
offspring  of  this  system  with  even  less 
care  than  a  farmer  would  gather  his  lambs 
or  calves. — Evcniiig  Sernioji,  February  26, 
i860. 


WHEN  the  cradle  of  the  young  mother 
is  first  pressed  by  an  infant  child, 
and  she  bends  over  it  not  even  trying  to 
conceal  her  gladness,  and  the  father,  scarce- 
ly less  pleased,  at  a  few  paces,  pra6lices,  as 
he  thinks,  a  manly  reserve,  what  thoughts 
flow  through  both  their  minds  ! — Evening 
Sermon  J  February  26,  i860. 
190 


Practices 
a  Manly 
reserve 


319  Ptilpit  Pmtgenctes  319 


N 


OW  we  laugh — but  we  ought  not  to — 
at  the  poor  Cathohc  who  says  his 


Ave  Maria  a  certain  number  of  times   a      'him*° 
day,  and  has  his  string  of  beads,  and  runs     out  of  a 

•'  o  '  tumbler 

them  over  at  each  time,  repeating  a  httle 
prayer  at  every  bead  he  touches  ;  but  what 
shall  we  say  of  that  headless  kind  of  pray- 
ing which  we  so  often  hear  in  Orthodox 
prayer-meetings !  A  man  comes  home  at 
night  from  his  store,  where  he  has  had 
twenty-five  or  thirty  men  on  the  jump  all 
day,  and  says,  ''  I've  done  a  splendid  busi- 
ness to-day.  My  sales  have  amounted  to 
about  twenty-five  thousand  dollars ;"  as 
much  as  to  say,  "  I'm  the  man ;  I'm  a 
merchant  who  understands  how  to  carry  on 
business  as  it  should  be  carried  on."  He 
has  just  time  to  take  his  supper  before  it  is 
time  for  meeting,  and  as  soon  as  his  meal 
is  over  he  orders  up  his  team  and  goes  to 
the  le6lure-room.  He  has  but  just  taken 
his  seat  when  the  minister  says  to  him, 
"  Brother,  will  you  pray  ? "  He  is  taken 
right  in  the  point  of  unexpe6lation  ;  but  up 
he  rises,  and  says,  "Lord,  I  am  a  great 
191 


319  Pitlpit  Pungencies 


320 


sinner."     Yes,  he  is  ;  he  never  would  pray- 
under  such  circumstances   unless   he  was. 
shpoutof  rpj^^  xadsi  has  been  so  perverted  by  Chris- 

like  -Marbles    .  ,  ,  ,  .  , 

out  of  a    tian   shams;    the   man  has  run  mto  these 

tumbler 

serried  insincerities  to  such  an  extent  and 
his  throat  is  so  lubricated  by  them,  that 
these  phrases  slip  out  of  him  like  marbles 
out  of  a  tumbler. — Morning  Sermon,  April 
3,  1857. 


As  to 

that 

Matter, 

I  might 


READING  and  writing  are  relative. 
The  want  of  these  things  is  dis- 
graceful ;  but  in  and  of  themselves  they 
are  good  for  nothing.  If  they  were  good 
for  anything  in  and  of  themselves,  a  man 
that  could  read  and  write  a  strange  lan- 
guage would  be  as  well  off  as  a  man  that 
could  read  and  write  in  his  own  tongue. 
If  reading  were  good  for  anything  in  and 
of  itself,  I  might  as  well  read  for  you  in 
Hebrew — and  as  to  that  matter,  I  might 
for  a  great  many  of  you ! — Morning  Ser- 
mon, March  11,  i860. 


192 


32  1  Pulpit    Pttngcncles  323 

THERE  are  many  men  so  greedy  that 
they  feel  what  their  neighbors  make 
that  they  might  have  made  is  taken  away  theT^ 
from  them  ;  and  that  they  have  lost  all  that 
they  do  not  get  of  what  they  meant  to  get. 
Their  eyes  grow  large,  their  imagination 
becomes  fevered,  and  they  mean  to  rush 
over  the  course  and  scoop  up  wealth  by 
the  armful ;  but  they  lose  their  judgment 
and  accuracy  before  they  know  it,  and 
stumble,  and  measure  their  whole  length 
in  the  dust,  on  the  ground. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, February  5,  i860. 


I 


THINK  love  .srrows  between  husband 


JD 


and  wife  by  expression  of  affe6lion. 

T  1  I  •  ,         ,.        .  .  Husband 

1  know  there  is  a  stately  dignity  m  vogue,    and  wife 
Husband   and  wife   sit   over  asrainst   eaxh     statues 

'-'  of  jNIemnon 

other  like  those  great  statues  of  Memnon 
in  Egypt ;  then  they  are  vast,  stony,  and 
hard. — Evening  Sermon,  May  i,  1859. 


A 


RE   there   no   savasre   beasts    in    the   ,  The  , 

°  Menagene 


menagerie  of  your   soul,  which,   if 
they  should  break  away  from  the  restraints 
193 


of  your 
soul 


323  Pttlpit   Pwtgencies  325 

that  bind  them,  would  pounce  upon  and 
lacerate  whatever  came  in  their  way  ? 
Menagerie  Havc  you  ncvcr  experienced  the  feeling 
soul  of  hatred  ?  Have  there  never  been  lurid 
moments  in  which  revenges  sprang  hke 
fires  of  hell  from  your  soul  ?  Have  there 
never  been  moments  when  you  thought 
you  knew  how  sweet  murder  might  be  ? — 
Morning  Sermon^  yanuary  i,  i860. 


M 


ANY  men  treat  God  very  much  as 
we   treat  men   with  whom  we  do 
are^^    busiucss.     Many  men  seem  to  think  that 

Merchandise  .  •  n  • 

the  mercies  we  continually  enjoy  are  mer- 
chandise, and  that  God  sits  in  heaven  to 
dispense  them  ;  and  they  go  to  him  day 
after  day  and  take  them,  without  once  feel- 
ing that  they  are  absolute  gifts  for  which 
they  ought  to  be  thankful. —  Wednesday 
Evening  Lecture,  December  28,  1859. 

Nothing    TJ^JHEN    the   qualities   which    religion 

Merchant-      V  V       ought  to   iuspirc  are  found   in    a 

man,    that   man's    fortune   is    made  ;    that 

man  is  settled  in  life.     Nothing  is  so  mer- 

194 


Better 
Mind 
their 
own 
business 


325  Pulpit  Pungencies  328 

charitable  or  desirable  as  those  qualities. — 
Evening  Sermon,  Febnmry  10,  i860. 

AGES  are  like  family  groups  :  they  had 
better  mind  their  own  business,  and 
not  mind  that  of  others  ;  therefore  it  is  an 
impertinence  for  one  age  to  discuss  those 
great  principles  which  belong  to  another. — 
Evening  Sermon,  June  5,  1859. 

^  CANITY  is  that  delusive,  that  inse6l- 
*        iferous,  that  multiplied  feeling,  and 

^  ^     ^  .    .  ..1  "O,  never 

men  that  fight  vanities  are  like  men  that  Mind" 
fight  midges  and  butterflies.  It  is  easier 
to  chase  them  than  to  hit  them.  They 
come  back  like  flies  in  summer,  which, 
though  smitten  fifty  times,  say,  "  Oh,  never 
mind  ;  I  take  no  offense." — Morning  Ser- 
mon, February  5,  i860. 

BUT  miracles  are  the  midwives  of  young 
moral   truths.     They  are   necessary    ^^""^^^^^ 
when   these  truths   are   children   in   men's 
understandings,   but   not  when   they    have 
grown  up.     In  the  beginnings  of  the  world, 
195 


are 
midwives 


Miracles 

are 
Midwives 


328  Piclpit  Pufigencies  330 

before  the  moral  sense  became  developed, 
it  was  useful  to  act  upon  the  moral  sense 
through  the  instrumentality  of  miracles. 
But  as  men's  moral  sense  grows,  and  be- 
comes capable  of  appreciating  moral  evi- 
dence, miracles  cease ;  as  the  nurse  in  the 
household  is  dispensed  with  when  the  child 
is  grown  so  as  to  be  able  to  take  care 
of  itself — Mo7'ning  Sermon,  December  18, 
1859. 


SO  it  is  among  men.     Their  first  efforts 
and  oftener  ^^    gooducss    arc   vcry    crooked    and 

^^'^  shallow,  like  a  man's  furrow  in  a  newly 
plowed  piece  of  ground :  hit  or  miss,  and 
oftener  miss. — Evening  Sermon,  October  16, 
1859. 


THE  life  of  some  men  is  so  much  in 
the  heart  that  if  you  were  to  cut  off 
their  heads  they  wouldn't  miss  much  ;  and 
the  life  of  others  is  so  much  in  the  head 
that  you  could  almost  take  out  their  heart 
and  they  would'nt  miss  much. — Morning 
Scrmony  yannary  30,  1859. 
196 


Wmildti't 
Miss 
much 


331  Pulpil   Pungencies  333 

THERE  are  to-day,  sailing  under  the 
flag  of  pirates,  men  whose  original  ele- 

_     .  .    .  ,  .  Missionary 

ments  of  disposition  were  as  good  as  mine  or  pirates 
yours.  There  are  plowing  the  deep,  to-day, 
missionary  pirates,  who  bring  heathen  from 
Africa  that  they  may  be  converted,  whose 
original  dispositions  wxre  as  good  as  that  of 
any  minister  that  preaches  the  Gospel  to 
them! — Mojiiing  Sciinon,  yaimary  i,  i860. 

I    SAY  that  a  person  may  so  tell  the 
truth  as  to  tell  a  lie  at  the  same  time  ; 

as  when  a  man,  offerinof  to  sell  a  mockins^-        a  " 
^  '^     Mocking- 

bird,  and   being   asked   whether   it   would       ^''^'^ 

sing,  replied,  "  Oh !  it  will  delight  thee  to 
hear  it  sing,"  on  the  strength  of  which  re- 
ply it  was  purchased.  There  is  no  ques- 
tion but  that  the  man  who  purchased  it 
would  have  been  exceedingly  delighted  to 
hear  it  sing,  but  he  never  did — Morning 
Sermon,  yune  26,  1S59. 

THERE  is  your  charter ;  and  I  want  to   a  Moping 
Christian 
know  what  business   any  man  has, 

under  that  charter,  to  be  a  moping,  melan- 

197 


333  Pulpit   Pu7igencics  334 

choly,   whining,   complaining   Christian  ? — 
Evening  Sermon,  October  (),  1859. 


I 


WOULD    give    more    for    one    poor 
woman,    whose    poverty    makes    her 
Rice      laugh   and    sing ;    who   is    contented   with 
T^.at^yould  her  humblc  lot;    who   bears   her  burdens 

shut  liim 

"^'^  with  cheerfulness ;  who  is  patient  when 
troubles  come  upon  her ;  who  loves  every 
one ;  and  who,  with  a  kind  and  genial 
spirit,  goes  about  doing  good,  than  for  all 
the  dissertations  on  the  doctrines  of  Chris- 
tianity that  could  be  written,  as  a  means  of 
preventing  infidelity.  I  have  seen  one  such 
woman,  who  was  worth  more  than  the  whole 
church  to  which  she  belonged,  and  the  min- 
ister put  together ;  and  I  was  the  minister, 
and  my  church  was  the  church  !  She  lived 
over  a  cooper-shop.  The  floor  of  her  apart- 
ment was  so  rude  and  open  that  you  could 
sit  there  and  see  what  the  men  were  doing 
below.  She  had  a  sort  of  fiend  for  a  hus- 
band, a  rough,  brutal  shipmaster.  She 
was  universally  called  "Mother  Rice."  She 
literally  night  and  day  went  about  doing 
198 


334  Pulpit   PimgeiiciiS  335 

good.     I  do  not  suppose  all  the  ministers 
in  the  town  where  she  lived  carried  conso- 

1       •  1  1  T  1  T  r  Mother 

lation  to  so  many  hearts  as  she  did.     ii  a      Rice 
person  was  sick  or  dynig,  the  people  in  the  '^s^^\  h^m'^ 
neighborhood  did  not  think  of  sending  for       "^ 
any  one  else  half  so  soon  as  for  Mother 
Rice.      I    tell   you,    there    was    not    much 
chance   for   an    infidel   to   make    headway 
there.     If  I  wanted  to  convince  a  man  of 
the  reality  of  Christianity,  I  said  nothing 
about  historic  evidence  :  I  said,  "  Don't  you 
believe  Mother  Rice  is  a  Christian?"  and 
that  would  shut  him  up  ! — Moiiiing  Sermon^ 
August  7,  1859. 

^"^7  HEN  Christ  went  anywhere,  there 
^  ^  were  the  old  righteous  Pharisees 
watching  him  and  criticising  what  he  did  ;  Skkf 
when  Christ  went  anywhere,  there  were 
the  mousing,  sneaking  Pharisees  seeing  if 
they  couldn't  get  something  to  publish  in 
the  papers  ;  when  Christ  went  anywhere, 
there  were  the  boastful  Christians  who  had 
to  tell  how  good  they  were,  and  what  they 
had  done ;  when  Christ  went  anywhere,  all 
199 


Pharisees 


335  Ptdpit  Ptciigejicies  337 

the  poor  fallen  creatures  in  the  neighbor- 
hood remembered  all  the  good  they  had 
learned,  and,  sobbing,  said,  ''  I  know  I  am 
a  sinner,  and  he  knows  it ;  and  if  anybody 
will  give  me  a  chance,  it  is  he.  I  will  go 
to  him." — Morning  Sermon,  yannary  23, 
1859. 


I 


N  the  collisions  of  men  pushed  on  by 
pleasure,  or  ambition,  or  avarice,  there 
till  the  is  a  constant  play  and  counter-play  of  petty 
is  dry  provocations,  petty  tales,  mean  deceptions, 
ungrateful  supplantings,  repaying  fairness 
with  foulness,  honor  with  dishonesty.  Now 
a  noble  mind  rids  himself  of  these  wrongs 
as  he  does  his  garments  of  spattered  mud. 
He  lets  them  alone  while  fresh,  since  brush- 
ing would  only  spread  them.  He  waits  till 
they  dry,  and  then  cleanses  himself  of  them 
all,  and  lets  the  dirt  fall  back  to  the  dirt. — 
Evening  Sermon,  Febrnary  12,  i860. 

Preaching    x  ;n    respe6l    to    a   man's    preaching    the 


I 


like 

making      ^      truth,  I  do  uot  objccl  to  his  preaching 
so  that  his  sermon  shall  roll  like  a  band  of 
200 


337  Ptdpit  Ptmgencies  338 

music,  or  so  that  his  serried  ranks  of  ideas 
shall  march  like  lancers.     The  thing  is  that  ^^^^^^^^^ 
his  preaching  shall,  with  or  without  pleas-    J;keJ 
ure,    with    or   without   elegance,   build  up  ^^^^"^^^^ 
manhood,  and  make  men  doers  of  things 
that  are  right,  and  high,  and  noble.     All 
other  preaching  is  specious  and  contempt- 
ible.     I    can    compare    two-thirds    of   the 
preaching   of  the  present  day   to   nothing 
but  children  making  sand  houses  and  mud 
huts,   who,    after   they   have    worked    and 
scraped  the  dirt  together,    and   got   them 
formed,  sweep  them  over  with  their  hand, 
and  go  away. — Morning  Sermon,  January 
30,  1859. 


THERE  are  many  men  who  coin  every 
drop  of  manly  blood  in  them  to  get 
money  ;  and  when  they  have  got  it,  they 
are  miserable  desiccated  mummies,  only 
needing  the  cerements  on  them  to  make 
them  complete  l—^^^/^^V^^  Sermon,  Febru- 
ary 5,  i860. 


Mummies 


20  X 


Mummy 


339  Pulpit    PiLugcncics  340 

IF  a  man  has  come  to  that  state  in  which 
he  says,  ''  I  do  not  want  to  know  any 
more,  or  do  any  more,  or  be  any  more," 
he  is  in  a  state  in  which  he  ought  to  be 
changed  into  a  mummy  I — Morning  Scr- 
vion,  March  11,  i860. 


T 


The  Bible 

and 
Murray 


HE  Bible  is  not,  itself,  and  never  w^as, 
meant  to  be  an  object  of  reverence, 
as  if  it  were  an  idol  or  a  god.  It  is  simply 
Guide-Hcok  a  guide-book  Would  you  know  whether 
it  teUs  the  truth  .^  Follow  its  direclions 
and  see  !  What  if  a  man  should  take  Mur- 
ray's Guide-Book  of  Italy,  and,  on  his  way 
thither,  should  read  accounts  of  all  its  mag- 
nificent structures — the  temples,  the  mu- 
seums, the  mausoleums,  and  of  all  the  re- 
nowned statues  and  pictures  which  are 
stored  in  that  great  repository  of  ancient 
and  modern  art ;  and  wdiat  if,  while  sitting 
in  his-  carriage  reading,  he  should  com- 
mence a  criticism  and  judgment  of  the 
things  described  in  the  Guide-Book,  before 
he  had  seen  one  of  them  !  He  goes  to  no 
temple  ;  he  visits  no  museum  ;  he  beholds 
202 


340  Pulpit  P2i7igencics  340 

no  gallery  ;  he  stands  before  none  of  those    ^he  EiWe 
great  pi6lures  which  Raphael,  in  his  gentle    muWs 

.  ^  ,         T       T  Guide -Book 

inspiration,  depicted  ;  he  looks  upon  none 
of  those  sublime  paintings  which  Michael 
Angelo  left ;  none  of  those  which  Leonardo 
da  Vinci,  or  Correggio,  or  Titian,  or  Paul 
Veronese  left ;  none  of  all  those  many  left 
by  that  band  of  noble  men.  And  nobler 
men  than  these  old  painters,  or  men  that 
spoke  better  truths,  in  spite  of  all  their  lies 
of  superstition,  never  lived.  He  has  no 
knowledge  of  all  these  things,  except  that 
which  he  gets  from  Murray's  Guide-Eook. 
He  sees  not  pictures,  but  descriptions  of 
pi6lures  ;  not  statues,  but  accounts  of  sta- 
tues ;  not  temples,  but  a  history  of  temples 
and  porticos,  and  yet  he  pronounces  sen- 
tence ;  praises,  condemns,  admires,  or  re- 
jects without  personal  knowledge  of  any 
of  all  these  things  !  Foolish  as  this  would 
be,  it  is  wisdom  itself,  compared  with  the 
treatment  given  to  the  Bible.  The  truth 
of  the  Word  of  God  is  to  be  found  outside 
of  the  Bible,  not  inside  of  it. — Evaiing 
Sermon,  October  2,  1859. 
203 


341  Ptclpil   Pungencies  343 


M 


EN  are  not  music-boxes,  which,  when 
wound  up,  carry  their  own  players 
^laqir  inside  of  them  ;  but  they  are  harps,  which 
Music-boxes  must  be  touclicd  from  without.  Each  man's 
heart,  therefore,  must  be  touched  by  other 
men.  We  are  to  touch  other  men's  hearts. 
Other  men's  hearts  are  belfries,  and  there 
we  must  ring  out  all  our  chimes. — Morning 
Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 

IT  is  a  great  thing  to  be  able  to  sing 
the  best  while    you    work.     God    gives    songs 

tSe'r  in  the  night.  God  is  the  best  music- 
teacher. — Morning  Sermon,  September  25, 
1859. 


w 


E  love  to  trace  our  ancestry  to  early 
houses    and   families  in   England. 
Covering    \Ye  love  to  trace  it  to  Huguenot  or  Hebrew 

Nakedness 

blood.  Neither  is  this  vain  or  foolish.  It 
may  become  so  through  abuse,  but  it  is  not 
so  of  necessity.  It  is  right.  A  man  may 
take  something  from  the  loom  of  the  past 
to  cover  the  nakedness  of  the  present  with. 
Morning  Sermon,  Mareh  4,  1 860. 
204 


344  Ptilpit   Ptmgencics  345 

THE  strongest  evidence  I  can  think  of 
aa'ainst  there  being  a  devil,  is  that 

/r  1  1  r       No  devil 

there  is  no  need  of  one.  Men  do  works  ol  ^^^^^^_ 
evil  in  such  abundance  that  there  would  pj^by 
seem  to  be  nothing  left  for  a  devil  to  do ! 
These  things  have  been  permitted  from  the 
beginning  of  the  world  to  our  day,  and  by 
a  Being  who  is  said  to  be  too  good  to  let 
an  evil  spirit  Hve !  But  when  I  look  at  the 
facts,  this  namby-pamby  talk  about  the  im- 
possibility of  God's  creating  a  principle  of 
evil,  is  simply  contemptible  to  me.  A  man 
who  has  not  nerve,  and  brawn,  and  bone 
enough  to  look  at  things  as  they  are,  and 
admit  them,  I  do  not  know  what  business 
such  a  man  has  to  live  ! — Evening  Sermon, 
October  21,  1859. 

SHARP  men,  like  sharp  needles,  break 
easy  if  they  do  pierce  quick.     There 
is   not  a  fallacy  more  universal  than   that       and 

•'  Needles 

which  teaches  that  wickedness  is  the  way 
of  success  in  this  world.  I  aver  that  God 
puts  more  temper  in  a  man's  soul  than  man 
ever  put  in  or  the  Devil  ever  put  in.  I 
2.05 


Going 
through 
a  Nettle 


345  Pulpit   Pungencies  347 

should  be  ashamed  to  ask  a  man  to  be  a 
Christian  from  motives  drawn  from  the  ex- 
chequer.— Evening  Sermon,  yiuie  12,  1859. 


T' 


O  be  in  perfect  health,  one  must  be  in 
such  a  condition  that  he  does  not 
know  that  there  is  anything  of  him.  Now 
hedgT  suppose  a  man  is  sound  in  every  organ,  but 
that  in  the  morning  he  goes  through  a 
nettle-hedge,  what  effect  docs  it  have  upon 
him  ?  Why,  although  he  is  in  good  health, 
although  his  lungs  are  right,  and  his  heart 
is  right,  and  his  nerves  are  right,  and  every 
other  part  of  his  body  is  right,  yet,  all  day 
long  he  is  chafed,  and  fretted,  and  irritated, 
just  because  in  the  morning  he  went  through 
that  nettle-hedge.  Well,  care  is  to  the  mind 
what  nettles  are  to  the  body. — Marning  Ser- 
vian, August  14,  1859. 


Troubled 

with 
Neuraltria 


A  MAN  goes  to  his  physician,  and  he 
says  to  him,  "  I  have,  sir,  very  great 
suffering  ;     I   have   very   sharp   pains   that 
shoot  through  my  loft  breast ;  I  have  very 
acute   pains  in  my  spine  ;    and  my  head 
206 


347  Pulpit    Pungencies  347 

seems    to   me   to    have    abandoned  all    its    Troubled 

with 

uses."  The  physician  then  begins  to  in-  Neuralgia 
terrogate  him,  and  says  to  him,  "  What  has 
been  your  course  of  life?"  The  man  is 
ashamed  to  tell ;  so  he  says,  "  Well,  sir,  I 
have  been  exposed  to  dampness  in  various 
ways,  and  my  impression  is  that  I  am 
troubled  with  neuralgia."  The  physician 
proceeds  to  prescribe  for  him,  on  the  sup- 
position that  his  difficulty  is  neuralgia  ;  but 
as  he  gets  no  better,  but  a  good  deal  worse, 
he  says  to  himself,  "  I  do  not  believe  my 
physician  understands  my  case.  I  do  not 
believe  the  medicine  lie  is  giving  me  is 
going  to  do  me  any  good."  The  reason 
why  is,  that  he  is  suclx  a  fool  as  not  to  tell 
the  truth,  and  I  think  there  is  no  greater 
fool  than  a  liar.  At  length  he  goes  to 
another  physician,  and  says,  "  Can  you  do 
me  any  good  } "  This  physician  knows  so 
much  that  he  don't  know  anything ;  and 
after  putting  a  few  pompous  questions  to 
the  man,  concerning  his  case,  he  says, 
*'  Yes,  I  can  cure  you  ;"  and  accordingly 
gives  him  a  few  remedies.  But  they  afford 
207 


347  PtUpit  Pungencies  347 

Troubled    him  DO  relief.     After  a  few  weeks,  he  says 


witli 


Neuralgia  to  himsclf,  "  I  do  not  beHeve  this  physician 
understands  my  case,  either ;  and  by-and- 
by,  after  suffering  nights  and  suffering  days, 
for  a  long  time,  and  when  his  strength  be- 
comes much  reduced,  and  there  is  a  pros- 
pe6l  of  a  speedy  termination  of  all  his 
earthly  hopes  and  expe6lations,  he  says  to 
himself,  "  What  a  fool  I  am  for  lying,  and 
hiding  the  real  cause  of  my  difficulty."  He 
now  goes  to  his  physician  again,  and  says, 
"  Can  you  give  me  an  interview  1 "  The 
physician  says  he  can.  "  Can  you,"  says 
the  man,  "  give  me  an  interview  so  private 
that  nobody  will  know  that  I  have  been 
near  you  1 "  ''  Oh,  yes,"  says  the  physician, 
"  I  can  ;  I  have  a  place  on  purpose  for  such 
cases."  So  he  goes  with  the  physician,  and 
hangs  down  his  head — he  ought  to  have 
hung  it  down  before — and  says,  "  This  is 
my  history;"  and  then  he  takes  a  walk 
through  hell,  and  explains  the  cause  of  his 
disease,  which  he  had  so  long  been  con- 
cealing. The  physician  says,  "  Why  did 
you  not  tell  me  of  this  before  .-*  Since  you 
208 


347  Pulpit  Pungencies  348 

have  given  this  explanation,  your  difficulty 
is  perfe6lly  plain  to  me.  It  is  very  late, 
but  I  think  I  know  now  just  where  to  put 
the  javelin  of  remedy.  Now  I  will  under- 
take your  case,  and  I  think  I  can  cure  you." 
The  man  says,  as  he  goes  away,  "  I  feel  a 
great  deal  better  now.  The  physician  says 
he  knows  what  ails  me,  and  I  may  get  well 
yet."  It  is  a  world  of  relief  to  him  that  he 
has  told  the  physician  all  he  knows  about 
his  difficulty. — Moniing  Seimon,  May  i, 
1857. 


T 


HERE  are  just  such  spiritual  farmers. 
One  is  running  after  new  promises. 


another  after  a  new  faith,  and  another  after  Newnesses 
new  solutions  of  miracles.  One  man  has 
got  a  new  do6lrine,  another  man  has  got 
some  new  idea  of  ecclesiasticism  and  church 
organization,  and  another  man  has  got  some 
new  way  of  putting  this  or  that  religious 
truth.  There  is  nothing  so  exciting  to 
them  as  these  perpetual  newnesses.  They 
see  their  old  farms  left  untilled,  with  more 
burdocks,  and  thistles,  and  weeds,  growing 
209 


34^  Pulpit  Pungencies  349 

on  every  acre  of  them,  than  any  wain,  thrice 
loaded,  could  carry  off!  Their  time  and 
attention  are  absorbed  by  religious  schemes 
and  speculations.  Poor,  miserable,  thrift- 
less spiritual  husbandry  is  this. — Evening 
Scnnon,  October  16,  1859. 


T 


HERE  are  in  the  Church  what  may  be 
called  heresy-hunters.  They  always 
Nimrod  carry  a  rifle,  a  spiritual  rifle,  under  their 
arm.  You  will  find  them  forever  outlying, 
watching  for  heresy,  not  so  much  in  their 
own  hearts,  not  so  much  in  their  own 
church,  not  so  much  in  their  own  minis- 
ters, but  in  other  people's  hearts,  and  other 
people's  churches,  and  other  people's  min- 
isters. If  any  man  happens  to  hold  an 
opinion  respecting  any  do6lrine  which  docs 
not  accord  with  their  own  peculiar  views, 
they  all  spread  abroad  to  run  him  down. 
They  are  taking  care  of,  and  defending,  the 
faith  !  They  are  searching  for  foxes,  and 
wolves,  and  bears,  that  they  suppose  are 
laying  waste  God's  husbandry !  They 
never  do  anything  except  fire  at  other 
210 


349  P^dpil    Pungencies  352 

folks  and  other  things.  I  have  no  doubt 
that  Nimrod  was  a  very  good  fellow,  in  his 
own  poor,  miserable  way  ;  but  a  Nimrod 
minister  is  the  meanest  of  all  sorts  of  hunt- 
ers ! — Evening  Sermon^  October  16,  1859. 

A  MAN  goes  out  West  and  succeeds, 
and  is,  perhaps,  sent  to  Washington    ^\^f 
as  a  representative  :  lio  great  rise,  but  still, 
something!  —  Morning    Sermon,    December 
II,  1859. 

IF  you  worship  Christ  you  employ  your 
powers  easily  and  naturally.  If  you  ^p^^-^ 
worship  the  Father  there  will  be  no  special 
injury  done  to  the  feelings  of  the  confra- 
ternal  Godhead. — Morning  Sermon,  October 
23,  1859. 


injury 


Men  have 
such 

Notions 


THERE  are  but  seven  colors  in  nature, 
though  there  are  thirty  in  the  human 
soul ;  and  the  moral  color  of  a  thing  de-  now-a-days 
pends  very  much  upon  the  faculty  before 
which  you  bring  it  to  judgment.  In  bring- 
ing a  case  into  court  a  man  looks  anxiously 
211 


352  Pulpit  Pungencies  353 

whether  this  or  that  judge  is   sitting  this 
term,  and  into  which  court  he  shall  bring 

Men  have     ,   .  ,,  x  r    r      ^  i  •  i 

such       nis   case.        ii  J  udge  so  and  so  is  on  the 

Notions  _  ^  ' 

now-a-days  bcuch,  I  will  get  it,"  he  says  ;  "  but  if  it  is 
Judge  so  and  so,  I  think  the  chances  are 
against  me."  Of  course,  all  our  judges  are 
good  men,  and  all  our  courts  are  equitable 
in  every  way  ;  there  used  to  be  such  things 
as  bribed  judges,  and  packed  juries,  but 
this  was  in  historic  times,  in  the  classic 
days  of  ancient  Rome  or  Greece.  But  men 
have  such  notions  now-a-days,  for  reasons 
best  known  to  themselves,  they  think  it 
makes  a  great  deal  of  difference,  if  they 
wish  to  obtain  the  title  to  a  piece  of  prop- 
erty for  instance,  what  judge  is  to  deter- 
mine the  law,  and  by  whom  the  charge  to 
the  jury  is  to  be  made. — Evening  Scivion, 
May  15,  1859. 


Novels 
contain 
better 


EVEN  novels  are  becoming  preachers ; 
and  better  preachers  than  are  many 
Gospel     pulpits.     For  the  novels  of  the  last  fifteen 

than  many 

pulpits     or  twenty  years    contain   a  better   Gospel 
than  the  pulpits,  if  you  include  the  pulpits 
212 


Hoeing 

in 

November 


353  Pttlpii   Pungencies  355 

of  the  Greek  Church,  of  the  Roman  Church, 
of  formal  Protestantism,  and  of  the  warring 
seels.  A  dead  Gospel  is  a  hideous  heresy. 
—  Thanksgiving  Sermon,  November  24, 
1859. 

THEY  are  always   saying,    "If  I  had 
only   known."      They   are   like   the 
farmer  who,  having  lost  his  crop  from  want 
of  diligence  in  the  Spring,  went  to  harrow- 
ing and  hoeing  in  November,  to  regain  what 
he  had  lost,  but  who,  failing  in  the  attempt, 
said,  "  Oh,  if  I  had  only  done  right  in  the 
Spring!"     It  is  enough  that  you  made  a 
fool  of  yourself  in   the   Spring.     Because 
you  made  a  fool  of  yourself  in  the  Spring, 
is  no  reason  why  you  should  make  a  fool 
of  yourself  again  in  the  K\\\x\vi\x^— Morning 
Sermon,  Jnly  24,  1859. 

THAT,  from  his  nature,  he  should  be  a 
nursing   God,   a  sympathizing  God,   ^  goT°^ 
so  that  it  may  be  said  literally  that  he  feels 
what  you  feel,  sorrows   with  your  sorrow, 
and  joys  with  your  joy  :  that  God  should  be 
213 


o 


355  Pulpit   Pungencies  356 

such  a  Being,  and  do  these  things,  is  cal- 
culated, I  think,  to  fill  the  heart  with  joy, 
and  the  imagination  with  astonishment. — 
Morning  Sermon,  May  i,  1859. 


I 


THANK  God  for  the  Roman  CathoUc 
rehgion.  What !  thank  God  for  the 
with^one  Romau  CathoUc  religion,  with  its  popes, 
and  cardinals,  and  councils,  and  with  its 
do(5lrine  of  transubstantiation,  and  all  its 
other  do6trines  and  theories  ?  I  don't 
thank  God  for  the  theology  of  the  Roman 
Catholic  system  ;  but  I  thank  God  that 
there  are  such  men  as  Fenelon,  such  men 
as  Pascal,  such  men  as  Bossuet,  such  men 
as  More  (spelt  with  one  o — one  Thomas 
More  ;  not  Tom  Moore,  of  vulgar  noto- 
riety) ;  I  thank  God  for  a  Church  which, 
though  it  may  have  been  depraved  in  many 
respe6ls,  did  continue,  through  the  grace  of 
God,  to  bring  up  men  that  have  made  the 
world  rich,  and  will  make  it  rich  to  the  end 
of  time.  —  Morning  Savjion,    yanuajy   30, 

1859. 

214 


God 

wiU 

Offeet 


357  Pulpit  Ptmgmcies  368 

THERE  are  a  great  many  men  that  in- 
dulge in  wrong  doing  on  week  days, 
who  go  to  church  regularly  on  Sunday,  be- 
cause they  have  a  vague  impression  that 
God  will  offset  one  against  the  other.  They 
say,  when  Sunday  morning  comes,  "  I  have 
been  bad  all  the  week  ;  worse  than  some 
men,  perhaps,  but  better  than  others  ;  no 
worse  than  the  average,  and  now  it  is  Sun- 
day, and  I  must  go  to  church ;"  and  when 
Sunday  night  comes,  they  say,  "I  have 
been  to  church  all  day,  and  sat  on  the  hard 
seat,  and  performed  religious  service,  and 
it  seems  to  me  that  all  this  ought  to  be 
rather  an  atonement  for  the  sins  I  com- 
mitted during  the  week  ;  at  any  rate,  I  have 
been  doing  what  I  am  told  I  ought  to  do." 
There  is  this  impression,  I  say,  among  men, 
that  they  can  substitute  religious  service 
for  duty. — Evening  Sermon,  December  18, 
1859. 

NOW  if  a  man  brings  his  thoughts  and 
feelings   into    higher   Christian  ex-    SS 

,   ...        Oil  of  grace 

perience,  when  he  takes  them  out  his  piety 
215 


Keep 

supplied 


358  Pulpit    Ptmgencies  360 

is  all  radiant ;  but  no  sooner  is  it  brought 
in  conta6l  with  the  world  than  its  radiancy 
siw^ifed  is  lost  Therefore  there  is  no  figure  in  the 
oTi'of  grace  Bible  that  I  am  aware  of  which  compares 
the  Christian  to  a  coal  of  fire,  or  glowing 
iron.  He  is  always  compared  to  a  torch, 
or  to  a  lamp  that  will  never  burn  low  if  you 
keep  it  supplied  with  oil.  We  are,  as  Chris- 
tians, to  keep  ourselves  supplied  with  the 
oil  of  grace. — Morning  Sermon,  February 
5,  i860. 

EVERY  tuft  of  grass  that  you  tread 
un  purpose  bcueath  your  feet,  God  made  on  pur- 

pose, as  much  as  any  painter  ever  made  on 
purpose  a  line  for  hair  or  face  on  canvas. — 
Morning  Sermon,  July  10,  1859. 

THE  idea  of  expatriating  a  milhon  free 
^^^-^^  ^,^^  men   is   preposterous  !      Let  a  man 

take  opium,  and  then  talk  these  things, 
and  we  will  not  wonder  ;  but  when  a  man 
takes  the  Bible,  and  then  talks  them,  we 
are   amazed. — Morning   Sermon,    ynly    17, 

1859. 

216 


and  the 
Bible 


361  Pulpit   Pungencies  362 


A 


ND  I  will  add  that,  whether  it  be  from 
its    superior   nervous   sensibility  or 


not,  a  blow  on  the  head,  at  any  period  of  arrange- 
ments 
life,  goes  quicker  to  the  temper,  and  irri- 
tates more,  than  on  any  other  portion  of 
the  body.  It  is  not  a  right  of  family  gov- 
ernment, but  an  outrage  and  an  abomina- 
tion, to  strike  a  child  anywhere  on  the 
head.  Providence  has  made  other  arrange- 
ments for  family  government!  —  Evening 
Sermon^  Febrnaiy  26,  i860. 


I  THINK  it  would  not  be  difficult  to 
point  out  many  churches,  to  which  be- 
long good  Christians,  that  would  be  shocked  th?kfi55^ 
by  nothing  more  than  to  have  a  stranger, 
or  any  other  person,  who  had  the  power  of 
God  resting  on  him,  who  had  large  imagina- 
tion, and  was  touched  in  his  experiences, 
get  up  in  one  of  their  social  meetings,  un- 
asked by  minister  or  deacon  or  officer,  and 
pour  out  his  emotions,  overflowing,  per- 
haps, the  king's  English  with  his  feelings. 
— Morning  Scnnon,  May  29,  1859. 
217 


English 


363  Pulpit  Pungencies  364 


T' 


'HERE  is  a  kind  of  moderation  that  is 
in  the  mind  what  perfe6l  health  is  in 
verays  ^^^  organs  of  the  body.  And  there  is  a 
kind  of  greediness  that  overlays  success. 
If  a  bird  should  seek  to  hasten  forward  its 
young  by  putting  its  eggs  in  an  oven,  they 
might  be  roasted,  but  they  would  not  be 
hatched  any  sooner. — Evening  SermoUy  Feb- 
ruary 5,  i860. 


T 


HERE  are  some  men  who  seem  to  be 
continued  in  life  to  serve  as  beacons 
OwesV    of  warning,  rather  than  guiding  lights,   to 

a  living" 

those  around  them.  It  would  be  difficult 
to  tell  what  a  great  many  men  who  are  in 
communities  live  for,  or  what  they  do  ;  and 
among  these  you  will  generally  find  those 
who  say,  *'  The  world  owes  us  a  living." 
The  world  owes  them  a  living  for  what  "i 
For  being  paupers  in  it ;  for  being  drudges  ; 
for  being  moths  that  consume,  instead  of 
productive  insedls  that  multiply,  as  bees 
do,  the  stock. — Morning  Sermon,  May  8, 

-         1859- 

218 


When 
God  wanted 


365  Pulpit    Ptmgencies  366 

WHEN  God  wanted  sponges  and  oys- 
ters, he  made  them,  and  put  one 
on  a  rock,  and  the  other  in  the  mud. 
When  he  made  man,  he  did  not  make  him  ^^anT^ 
to  be  a  sponge  or  an  oyster  ;  he  made  him  ^"^  ^^ 
with  feet,  and  hands,  and  head,  and  heart, 
and  vital  blood,  and  a  place  to  use  them, 
and  said  to  him,  "  Go  !  work  !" — Morning 
Sermon,  j\ larch  11,  i860. 

I    SHOULD  think,  by  the  way  in  which 
some  men  describe  the  chara6lQr  of 
God  and  his  works,  that  he  had  created  a      gS's° 
splendid  packasre  of  laws,  and  that  he  was  and  letters  to 

X  o.  eternity 

continually  saying  to  man,  "  Take  care  ;  do 
not  go  there  ;  you  will  spoil  my  machine. 
Be  careful ;  do  not  get  in  the  way  of  my 
purposes.  I  have  a  decree  yonder  ;  if  you 
go  there  it  will  destroy  you.  I  cannot 
sacrifice  my  machine  for  the  sake  of  you 
men."  Some  would  seem  to  think  that  men 
were  good  in  their  place,  but  that  God  had 
better  things  than  they.  They  would  seem 
to  think  that  God  has  great  purposes,  so 
that  he  cannot  stop  to  take  care  of  man. 
219 


366  Pttlpii  Pungencies  369 

The  most  abominable  infidelity  is  this.  As 
though  God's  world  was  nothing  but  a  grand 
express  train,  carrying  his  packages  and 
letters  to  eternity,  and  he  said  to  men, 
"  You  can  ride,  but  I  cannot  look  after  you. 
I  will  carry  you  along,  but  you  have  got  to 
look  out  for  yourselves." — Morning  Sermon, 
April  10,  1859. 

AFTER   a  man   has  once  commenced 
.  -  life,    he    cannot   go   back  and  start 

Papers  again.  He  cannot  rid  himself  of  his  respon- 
sibilities, and  take  an  entirely  new  set  of 
papers,  and  begin  anew. — Morning  Sermon, 
October  2,  1859. 


NOW,  there  are  many  who  enlist  on  the 
parade-sfround  of  revivals,  with  the 

ground  of  i  o> 

expeclation  that  when  they  come  out  they 
will  be  happy,  and  feel  good  all  their  life. — 
Morning  Sermon,  yidy  3,  1859. 


The 

'aradc 

ound 

revivals 


The        T  T  makes  no  difference  whether  you  are 

Partnership       I  r.  •  ,  ,  ^  . 

law  of      -L      actnig  by  yourself  or  ni  your  party, 
you  will  be  judged   by  yourself.     For   all 
220 


369  Pulpit   Pungencies  371 

your  connivances  with  others  God  will  bring 
you  to  a  personal  account.  You  will  find 
that  the  partnership  law  of  New  York  does 
not  hold  good  out  of  the  State  of  New 
York. — Evening  Sermon,  yanuary  22,  i860. 

IF  a  man  is  built  so  that  he  has  cer- 
tain powerful  instincfts,  and  he  at- 
tempts to  kill  them,  or  "  crucify"  them— the  I'f^ff 
word  is  Scriptural,  but  the  idea  it  conveys  nrSSk 
is  heathenish  ;  for  that  is  not  the  idea  of 
the  teacher  who  used  it — if  he  sets  to  work, 
with  all  his  energies,  to  ferret  out  those 
parts  of  his  nature  which  are  necessary  to 
his  life,  it  is  not  possible  that  he  should  be 
free  from  doubts  and  troubles  and  difficul- 
ties, with  reference  to  his  religious  welfare. 
Our  appetites  and  passions  are  all  of  them 
to  be  controlled,  used,  san6lified — not  kill- 
ed.— Morning  Sermon,  September  18,  1859. 

WHEN  a  man  ^ets  to  reasoning  about 
^  On  a  large 

things  which  happened  twenty  or    Pasture- 
thirty  thousand  years  past,  he  is  on  a  large 
pasture-ground,  and  can  run  without  danger 
221 


371  Ptilpit  Pungencies  373 

of  interference. — Morning    Sermon,    April 
24,1859. 


'TnO  those  who  shrink  from  the  idea  that 
Paul  might  ^^^^    Apostles    made    any    mistake, 

""m^JtakSn^  I  reply,  tho  Apostles  made  no  mistake  in 
"ciofk  '"^  those  truths  which  they  were  inspired  to 
teach  ;  but  in  respe6l  to  other  things  out- 
side of  that,  they  were  not  guaranteed  to 
make  no  mistakes.  That  which  God  meant 
them  to  do,  they  did  without  mistake  ;  but 
Paul  might  have  made  a  mistake  in  buying 
that  cloak  which  he  says  he  left  at  some 
place. — Evening  Sermon,  ynne  5,  1859. 


T' 


'HEREFORE,  in  our  own  land,  I  hail 
and  rejoice  in  these  very  intestine 
'^PeTce'^  commotions,  over  which  men  are  crying, 
"  Peace,  peace,  peace !"  As  crickets  and 
mice  cry  "  Peace,"  when  the  farmer  is  turn- 
ing up  their  nests  with  his  plow,  so  we 
have  crickets,  and  mice,  and  grasshoppers, 
and  all  manner  of  inse6ls  chirping  "  Peace," 
while  God  plows  his  land  !  But  I  say, 
**  Even  so.  Lord  God  Almighty,  plow  and 
222 


373  Pulpit  Pungencies  375 

thunder  owT —Thanksgiving  Sermon,  No- 
vember 24,  1859. 

THERE   are   some   persons   that  love     p^^^^_ 
apples,  who  cannot  bear  to  eat  them    '^^^^y 

,       ,  -     apples  with 

with  the   peel  on  ;  and  there  are  a  great  the  Peei  on 
many   Christians    that   love   to  engage  in 
religious  devotions  who  cannot  bear  to  go 
to   a    prayer   meeting. — Morning  Sermon, 
September  18,  1859. 

IF  the  child  at  an  early  period  exhibits 
signs  of  dawning  intelligence,  and  pro- 

,     ,  ^     ^1  .      Perambulate 

ieas  itself  beyond  the  present,  the  parents        in 

J  •'  -    pantaloons 

recognize  that  circumstance  as  a  natural* 
consequence  of  its  normal  development. 
This  intelligence  comes  on  more  and  more 
as  the  age  of  the  child  advances,  and  the 
boy  begins  to  think  about,  and  long  for, 
that  state  in  which  he  shall  be  a  bigger 
boy.  We  smile  at  this,  but  it  is  the  unfold- 
ing of  that  which  ends  in  immortality  and 
glory.  The  child  does  not  wish  to  always 
•  be  a  child,  and  wear  short  clothes  ;  but  it 
looks  forward  with  eagerness  to  a  time 
223 


375  Pulpit  Pungencies  376 

when  it  expe6ls  to  be  a  boy,  and  perambu- 
late the  streets  in  pantaloons. — Morning 
Sermon,  October  ^o,  1859. 


T' 


'HERE  is  such  a  thing  as  sleepy,  lazy 
prayins^.     And  I  do  not  refer  alone 

Prayers  worn  t.       j       o 

smooth  to  the  long  prayer  in  church,  or  to  the  pre- 
^^sel^ic?'^  composed  liturgical  forms  of  prayer  em- 
ployed by  particular  classes  of  Christians. 
Oftentimes  men's  prayers,  if  I  may  so  say, 
get  worn  smooth,  and  their  mind  slips  off 
from  the  words  without  taking  their  mean- 
ing. You  will  find  eminent  men  in  the 
Episcopal  and  CathoUc  Churches — such 
men  as  Fenelon — complaining  that  there 
are  times  when  it  is  impossible  for  them  to 
use  their  service  books,  because  their  mind 
will  not  take  hold  of  the  words,  and  the 
service  becomes  perfun6lory.  And  often- 
times those  whose  prayers  are  extempora- 
neous have  their  forms,  as  really  as  those 
who  pray  from  books.  There  are  many 
persons  who  oftentimes  wake  up  in  the 
midst  of  their  prayers,  and  find  that  they 
have  been  saying  over  sentences  without 
224 


376  Ptdpit  Pungencies  378 

having  any  sense  of  their  meaning. — 
Wednesday  Evening  Lecture,  December  28, 
i860. 

^^  T     ET  your  communication   be,    Yea, 
L'     yea ;  Nay,  nay."     Let  it  be  sim- 
ply, Yes,  it  is  ;  or.   No,  it  is  not.     There  ^^^a^.^^_, 
are  no  gradations  between  them.     It  is  a  ^-^-- f 
perpendicular  Yes,  or  a  perpendicular  No      '^^^^ 
—one  or  the  other.     The  special  apphca- 
tion  of  the  passage,  to  be  sure,  was  to  pro- 
fanity, but  it  is  just  as  applicable  to  truth-  ^ 
speech   as  to  oath-speech.      We  have  no 
right  to  grade  either  way. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, yune  26,  1859. 

A  FRENCH  philosopher  professed  to 
comprise  our  whole  being  in  three 
things.  The  first  was  occupation,  the  second  philosopher 
was  occupation,  and  the  third  was  occupa- 
tion !  And  there  was  a  great  deal  of  wis- 
dom in  that,  more  than  we  expect  to  find  in 
a  philosopher,  for  that  word  usually  means 
to  imply  a  singular  man  who  don't  know 
anything. — Evening  Sermon,  July  i/,  1859. 
225 


Pianos 


379  PtUpii  Pungencies  380 

OOME    men    keep    their    goodness   as 
*^     people  do  their   pianos.     They   have 

Conscience    ^i  ,  -    ,  . 

and  them  shut  up,  most  of  the  time,  at  one  side 
of  the  parlor  ;  and  when  they  have  looked 
after  the  affairs  of  the  kitchen,  and  taken 
their  meals,  and  waited  upon  their  compan}^,* 
and  attended  to  all  their  other  duties,  then, 
for  relaxation,  they  open  them,  and  play  a 
few  tunes  upon  them.  Some  men  keep 
their  conscience  shut  up  a  good  part  of  the 
time,  and  once  in  awhile,  for  a  change,  they 
open  it,  and  play  upon  it.  They  find  it  a 
little  out  of  tune,  but  they  do  not  mind 
that. — Morning  Sermon,  June  12,  1859. 


w 


E  are  all  of  us  merely   developing 
spirit  in  matter  or  out  of  matter. 

Fruits 

for  God  to  We  are  gaining  that  victory  which  God 
means  the  immortal  shall  gain  over  the 
mortal,  the  transient,  the  perishing.  We 
are  producing  from  these  roots,  these  stems 
— our  bodies — blossoms  and  fruits  which 
God  shall  be  willing  to  pick,  that  he  may 
show  them  again  in  another  life. — Morning 
Sermo7i,  March  4,  i860. 
226 


381  Ptclpit    Pungencies  383 

THERE  is  not  a  little,  piddling  justice's 
court  in  the  whole  nation  that  is  not 
subje6l   to   the    authority   of    our   highest    Piddibg^ 

justice's 

courts.  The  highest  court  governs  all  the  court 
lower  courts,  clear  down  to  the  bottom  of 
our  judicial  system.  And  God  has  made 
the  human  soul  so  that  its  highest  faculty 
shall  govern  all  the  faculties  below  it,  clear 
down  to  the  bottom. — Morning  Sermon^ 
June  12,  1859. 

^T  ZHEN  a  man  comes  to  have  this  itch 

V  V       for   gold,    this  insanity  of  rolling    j^^jj  ^^^ 
over  and  increasing  wealth,  there  are  no       ^^^ 
bounds  to  his  desire  to  accumulate.    Though 
he  were  to  roll  his  pile  as  fast  as  the  globe 
rolls,  he  would  not  be  satisfied. — Evening 
Sei'mon,  Januajy  15,  i860. 


I 


THINK  that  men  in  this  world  are 
like  a  pismire  running  up  on  one  of     .    a 

Pismire  on 

the  pyramids  of  Egypt,  going  to  take  a   °"^^^4ids 
prospe6l.      The   little   insect    creeps,    and 
creeps,  and  creeps,  a  whole  day,  and  only 
gets   up   a  very  short   distance   compared 
227 


A 


383  Pitlpit    Ptcngencies  384 

with  the  whole  height  of  the  stru6lure,  and 

he  is  so  surrounded  by  bits  of  stones,  and 

pismfreon  Other  obje6ls  which  adhere  to  its  side,  that 

one  of  the  ,  i   •  r-       i 

pyramids  he  caunot  see  anything,  bo  he  creeps  on 
and  on,  and  he  may,  perhaps,  in  the  course 
of  a  week,  get  half  way  up  to  the  top,  if  the 
wind  does  not  happen  to  blow  him  off,  and 
no  other  accident  befalls  him  ;  and  then  he 
cannot  see  anything,  for  he  finds  himself 
behind  a  crevice,  or  in  a  crack.  Now  he 
creeps  and  creeps  again  in  another  direc- 
tion ;  and  how  long  do  you  suppose  it  will 
take  him  to  get  so  high  that  he  can  look 
over  all  the  world  ;  and  when  he  does,  what 
is  an  ant's  judgment  about  the  world  good 
fori^ — Morning  Sermon,  April  2/[.,  1859. 


H 


OW  many  do  we  now  see  among  us 
who  are  dragging  themselves  along 

Takes  you 

by  the      throusfh  life,  reaping  the  inevitable  conse- 

sho-lders  '^^  ^  jr       o 

pudfes     quences  of  an  overtaxed  body,  because  they 

yoti^onthe   ^g^^g^^   busincss  and  profits  above  health 

and   comfort.      They   say,    "  I  would  fain 

stop,  but  I  can  see  no  place  to  stop."     By- 

and-by,   when   disease    takes   you   by  the 

228 


384  Pidpit  Pungencies  386 

shoulders  and  pitches  you  on  the  bed,  I 
think  you  will  find  a  place  to  stop  !  When 
the  undertaker  comes  along  you  will  find 
a  place  to  stop ! — Morning  Sermon,  July 
24,  1859.  ■    , 

GOD  will  not  judge  offices,  but  he  will 
judge  men  that  hold  the  offices.  It 
makes  no  difference  what  permissions  are  piaster 
allowed  in  any  office  which  you  may  hold,  an  office 
you  are  bound  to  find  out  what  is  right — 
and  that  you  can  do  in  this  age  of  Bible 
privileges — and  square  your  conduct  by  it. 
No  wrong  thing  is  covered  up  by  the  plas- 
ter of  an  Q^z^.— Evening  Sermon,  January 
22,  i860. 


Pleasure 


ABOVE  all  things,  do  not  go  near  those 
places  that  are  called  Haunts  of 
Pleasure.  They  are  the  houses  of  pleasure  damnation 
on  the  outside,  and  the  houses  of  damnation 
on  the  inside  !  No  man  can  begin  to  visit 
them  with  any  sort  of  presumption  that  he 
will  do  other  than  end  in  rottenness  and 
perdition!  When  a  man  is  sequestered, 
229 


386  Pulpit   Pungencies  387 

night  after  night,  away  from  ordinary  in- 
fluences and  restraints,  and  where  there  is 
gUtter,  and  stimulant,  and  novelty,  and 
temptation,  he  cannot  but  be  contaminated. 
— Evening  Sermon,  November  20,  1859. 


T 


HEN  there  are  the  pedigree  farmers, 
not  unknown  among  men  in  natural 

Plump  up  to 

Peter  husbandry.  They  have  got  the  very  poor- 
est fruit  to  be  found  in  the  whole  neighbor- 
hood, bearing  the  highest  sounding  names. 
They  have  got  the  most  marvelous  pears, 
the  most  wonderful  apples,  the  most  extraor- 
dinary strawberries.  They  give  the  most 
astonishing  names  to  the  most  meagre, 
miserable  fruit.  But  then,  it  has  such  high- 
sounding  titles  !  There  are  these  same 
men  whose  herds  are  about  the  poorest,  the 
scrawniest,  and  the  weakest  in  the  whole 
country  round  about  them  ;  but  they  have 
a  pedigree  that  takes  them  back,  every  one 
of  them,  to  Noah's  Ark  !  Their  oxen  are 
lean,  their  cows  are  milkless,  but  they  are 
proud  of  them  nevertheless,  they  have  such 
a  noble  pedigree  !  They  are  uncurried, 
230 


387  Pulpit  Pungencies  389 

unfatted,  and  unfatable,  to  be  sure  ;  but  ah, 
what  a  Hne  of  blood  did  they  spring  from  ! 
Did  you  never  see  just  such  husbandmen  in 
the  Church  ? — men  who  had  no  greater  mo- 
rahty,  or  piety,  or  spiritual  experience,  but 
who  went  back  through  a  long  pedigree,  one 
going  plump' up  to  Peter,  and  another  plump 
up  to  Paul,  and  others  plump  up  to  the 
prophets  themselves  ! — Evening  Sermon, 
October  16,  1859. 


I  SAY  that  that  idea  of  manhood  which 
makes  one  man  high  because  he  is 
pocket-full,  and  another  man  low  because  "empty 
he  is  pocket-empty,  is  heathenish,  and  un- 
worthy of  men  who  have  lived  any  length 
of  time  w^ithin  sight  of  a  Bible. — Morning 
Sermon,  May  8,  1859. 


Pocket-full 

and 

Pocket- 


AMAN  who  would  not  help  a  fellow- 
creature  flying  for  his  liberty,  must 
be  either  a  villain  or  a  politician. — Evening 
Sermon,  October  "^o,  1859. 
231 


A  \-illain 

or  a 
Politician 


390  Ptilpit   Pungencies  391 


^ 


HERE  is  not  a  fact  which   I   am  so 
diSpies  glad  about,  as  that  the  disciples  were 

Poor^feHows  such  poor  fellows  as  they  were.  You  all 
know  that  we  need  a  God  who  can  love  a 
sinner — a  real  sinner — a  man  who  is  such 
a  sinner  that  the  great  waves  of  mercy 
break  upon  him  as  the  waves  of  ocean 
break  against  the  rocks  of  the  coast  ;  a 
man  whose  veins  pulse  with  the  fever  of 
vice,  who  feels  the  thunder-clap  of  hate  ;  a 
man  who  sins  morning  and  night.  What ! 
can  God  love  such  a  man  }  The  universal 
heart  is  saying  :  can  God  love  a  man  away 
down  where  I  am  1  Why  don't  you  go  to 
some  good  Orthodox  church,  and  listen  to 
some  staid  man  }  is  said  to  the  disconsolate 
searcher  for  truth.  How. dare  you  go  to 
these  Theodore  Parkers  and  Chapins  !  How 
dare  you  Christians  have  to  do  with  these 
fishermen  1- — Morning  Sermon,  Janumy  2, 
1859. 


ASTRONOMY   never   said   to  a  man, 
r-x--- "  The  sun  is  the  centre  of  the  solar 


of  God's 
Portfolio 


system,  and  your  earth  revolves  around  it 
232 


391  Pulpit   Pungencies  393 

in  a  certain  fixed  orbit."  Chemistry  never 
said  to  anybody,  "  You  are  walking  upon  an 
earth  composed  of  minute  atoms  of  matter." 
We  found  them  out.  We  had  to  find  them 
out,  or  not  know  them.  They  were  in 
God's  book,  in  his  portfoUo,  which  he 
spread  out  before  us,  and  from  which  we 
pulled  out  the  papers  ourselves. — Morning 
Sermon,  April  2^,  1S59. 


PEOPLE   should   be   hungry  with  the 
eye  and  the  ear,  as  well  as  the  mouth.    Ponhoies 
When   all   a   man's  necessaries  of  life  are     stomach 
those  which  go  in  at  the  portholes  of  the 
stomach,  it   is    a  bad  sign. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, May  8,  1859. 


NATURAL   laws   are   like   our    post- 
offices,  only   they   never   advertise.  ^^aturaUaws 
If  any  man  has  a  letter  there,  he  can  get  it 
by  asking.  —  Evening  Sermon,  March   18, 
i860. 

233 


Post-offices 


394  Pzipit  Pungencies  395 


w 


ORK  your  troubles  up  !     If  a  man 
fills  my  house  with  thorns,  I  will 
make      not  go  about  saying,  "  What  a  distressed 

the  Pot  ^  J-      &' 

boil  state  of  things  is  this  !"  They  are  good  to 
make  the  pot  boil,  if  for  nothing  else. — 
Morning  Sermon,  yanuary  18,  i860. 


Writing 


T  HAVE  in  my  mind  a  former  acquaint- 
slrmols  -*-  ance — a  clergyman — who  met  with 
Preaching  great  success  so  long  as  he  gave  up  his  life 
to  his  pursuit  with  a  large,  free,  generous 
feeling  ;  but  he  wished  to  be  a  father  of  the 
Church,  and  to  be  eminent  for  prudence, 
and  for  a  way  of  looking  at  things  in  the 
light  of  judgment  and  reason.  So  he  went 
to  writing  sermons,  instead  of  preaching 
them  ;  and  the  result  is,  that  he  has  come 
to  be  very  much  like  what  a  wasp's  nest  is 
in  the  last  days  of  Autumn — an  empty, 
patched-up  house  of  mud,  on  the  dry  side 
of    a   rafter. — Morning    Sermon,    June   5, 

1859. 


234 


396  Pulpit  Pungencies  398 


I 


N   poisoning    your    worldly  prosperity, 
you  have  been  able  to  maintain  your- 


self;  and  do  you  suppose  that  when  you     on^thT 
conform  to  the  laws  of  nature  and  provi-      heu 
dence,  and  to  God's  moral  law,  you  will  find 
it  harder  to  maintain  yourself?     In  other 
words,  has  God  put  a  premium  on  the  road 
to  hell  ? — Morning   Sefmon^   December  18, 

1859. 


I 


T  is  supposed  that   physicians  have    a 


prescriptive  right  to  lie  to  their  pa-  prescriptive 
tients.      Now,  do  you  suppose  that   it   is      ti^iie 
necessary  for  a  physician  to  damn  his  own 
soul  in  order  to  save  his  patient's  body  ? — 
Morning  Scrmony  June  26,  1859. 


PAUL  says,  "  For  in  nothing  am  I  behind 
the  very  chiefest  Apostles,  though  I  ^low^^ 
am  nothing."  That  was  putting  the  other 
Apostles  down  pretty  low  ;  but  still,  it  shows 
the  spirit  of  the  man. — Morning  Sermon^ 
April  %  1859. 

235 


399  Ptilpit  Pungehcies  399 

WHEN  a  man  is    in    debt,   with   but 
three  cents  in  his  pocket,  a.nd  he 
sees   the  constable  coming,  how  the  poor 
have'\o  give  wrctch  sncaks  and  skulks  about  to  keep  out 

me  up  again      ^      ,  ~„  ,  i        -r»     , 

Pretty  quick  01  thc  ofhcer  s  way  !  But  suppose  a  man 
who  is  in  debt,  and  who  has  been  dodging 
between  prison  and  officer  for  weeks  and 
months,  should  be  told,  "An  estate  has 
been  left  you,  and  now  you  have  only  to 
draw  and  you  are  sovereign  of  half  a  million 
of  dollars !"  He  hastens  to  New  York, 
without  even  stopping  to  change  his  clothes, 
to  ascertain  the  truth  of  this  unexpected 
piece  of  intelligence.  The  moment  he  finds 
that  he  has  not  been  misinformed,  he  is  a 
new  man.  Now  he  does  not  dread  those 
whom  he  has  dreaded  so  long.  He  w^alks 
up  to  the  officer  and  says,  "  I  am  not  afraid 
of  you  any  more."  He  faces  his  creditors 
and  says,  "  Get  out  of  my  way,  I  am  a  dif- 
ferent man  from  what  I  have  been.  You 
can  take  me  if  you  please,  but  you  will 
have  to  give  me  up  again  pretty  quick." — 
Morning  Scnnon,  October  2,  1859. 


236 


400  Pttlpit  Pungencies  402 

WHAT  will  you  do  about  these  fads  ? 
•'  .  ,       .     •         Prodigious 

You  can  jump  over  them  ;  but  in     log^^ai 

•'  -^  springs 

order  to  do  that  you  have  got  to  jump  over 
the  globe  ;  and  a  man  must  be  hard  pressed 
to  take  such  prodigious  logical  springs  !— 
Evening  Sermon,  Octobef  23,  1859. 

GOD  says,  "  I  will  give  you,  if  you 
ask,  myself  and  all  that  I  have,  and 
make  you  my  heirs  ;"  and  when  a  man  is  a  ,ood^ 
an  heir  of  God,  there  is  a  good  property 
coming  to  him.— Evening  Sermon,  October 
9,  1859. 

PROPHECIES,  as  I  understand  them, 
are  things  of  the  vaguest  and  most 
general  character  possible.  They  are  what 
music  is  to  an  army  while  marching.  ^™y 
When  Napoleon  was  going  over  the  Alps, 
and  his  soldiers  had  become  nearly  ex- 
hausted with  dragging  the  heavy  artillery 
after  them,  he  ordered  his  band  to  sound  a 
charge,  and  the  moment  the  soldiers  heard 
that  "charge,  they  were  indued  with  double 
237 


Prophecies 

like 
music  to  an 


Proud 

as 

the  devil 


402  Pulpit  Pungencies  403 

strength,  and  they  pitched  up  the  heights 
with  comparative  ease. — Morning  Sermon, 
Aprili,iZS9' 

HERE  is  a  man  with  a  family,  who  is  a 
perfect  tyrant  at  home.  He  says, 
**  I  am  master  of  this  house,"  and  he  makes 
his  servants,  his  children,  and,  if  he  can, 
his  wife,  run  at  his  bidding.  Everybody  in 
that  house  knows  that  he  has  the  inflexible 
will  of  a  man  who  expe6fs  to  make  all 
those  with  whom  he  has  anything  to  do 
submit  to  him.  He  is  a  prominent  Chris- 
tian, a  deacon,  a  class-leader,  or  something 
of  that  sort.  When  he  goes  out  he  takes 
his  hat  and  makes  it  all  smooth,  and  takes 
care  that  his  other  clothing  shall  give  him 
as  much  an  appearance  of  meekness  as 
possible  ;  and  he  puts  a  mild  look  on  his 
face  ;  and  as  he  walks  along  he  bows  softly 
to  everybody  ;  and  he  makes  himself 
obsequious  wherever  he  goes,  and  that  is 
what  he  calls  being  humble  ;  but  he  is  as 
proud  as  the  devil  in  his  heart. — Morning 
Sermo?i,  April  2),  1S59. 
238 


404  Pulpit  Pungencies  407 

I    HAVE  noticed  that  God's  providence  pj-ovidence 
is  on  the  side  of  clear  heads. — Evening  deadheads 
Sermon,  Febrnary  10,  i860. 


SOME  men  go  through  life  as  steamers 
do   through   the   sea,   beating   every 


Can 


wave  with  their  paddles  and  bows,  deter-  Pp^ow^ 
mined  to  domineer  over  wind  and  storm.  '°^°^^^ 
But  it  must  be  a  well-built  man  that  can 
put  his  prow  into  life,  and  go  in  a  straight 
line  to  the  point  at  which  he  aims,  by 
means  of  his  own  sheer  sagacity  and 
strength.  —  Moaning  Sermon,  Jnne  12, 
1859. 

SOME  persons  seem  to  think  that  a 
child  is  like  a  farm,  and  cannot  be 
pulverised  too  much  ;  and  so  they  plow  it,  ^cimdlin'^ 
and  harrow  it,  and  cross  it,  and  turn  it  up 
and  down  as  it  does  not  Hke  to  be  turned. 
— Evening  Sermon,  Febrnary  26,  i860. 


Only  the 


IT  IS  a  pity  to  see  a  great  dwellmg  m 
1-11.  1  r    ^  Unlythe 

which  everything  appears  to  dwari  the  Punctuation 

occupant — in  which   the   occupant   is   the     ^^^^^ 
239 


407  Ptilpit  Pttngencies  411 

least  circumstance.  I  have  seen  men  that 
were  only  the  pun6luation  of  their  wealth. 
— Eveiiing  Sermon,  February  5,  i860. 

,      ,  ,    /"^ONTENTMENT  does  not  consist  in 

A  want  of      I 

Push       V_^      ^  want  of  push. — Morning  Sermony 
ynne  5,  1859. 

I     SUPPOSE    the    prophets    spoke    as 
(^od  speaking  trumpets,  whatever  God  put 

"\hem"^   through  them. — Morning  Sermon,  Jannary 
15,  i860. 

REALLY,  so  far  as  we  have  any  record 
iiuincicsi  on  the  subje6l,  Paul  did  more  than 

Put 

together    all  thc  rcst  of  thc  apostles  put  together. — 
Morning  Sermon,  April  3^  1859. 


D 


O  you  not  know  that  old  Putnam  need 

not  have  dashed  down   that   rocky 

Old  _  •' 

^""^  precipice,  on  horseback,  with  swords  and 
carbines  after  him  }  He  need  not  have 
crept  into  the  cave  where  the  wolf  was, 
lighting  himself  with  the  wolfs  eyes  while 
he  snapped  his  gun  at  his  head.  He  might 
240 


4 1 1  Pulpit   Pungencies  413 

have  sat  at  home,  and  avoided  risking  his 
life  in  this  manner ;  but  would  he  then 
have  been  Old  Put  ?  Why  was  it  that 
every  man  had  so  much  confidence  in  his 
valor  ?  It  was  because  peril  was  sweeter 
to  him  than  security,  and  whenever  there 
was  a  danger  to  be  met,  he  was  the  first  to 
meet  it.  His  daring  exploits  taught  men 
to  regard  him  as  a  stalwart  old  yeoman,  fit 
to  lead  where  men  were  to  be  led.     But, 

He  that  fights  and  runs  away, 
Shall  live  to  ru7i  another  day. 

— Morning  Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 

IT  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  we  have 
such  imperfe6l  views  of  God,  when  ^^o^g^ 
we  remember  how  we  come  by  them  ;  that 
we  derived  them  from  catechisms  and 
creeds,  and  confessions  of  faith,  which  were 
rammed  into  us  at  the  expense  of  losing 
our  suppers  and  dinners  on  Sunday. — 
Morning  Se7ino?i,  February  27,  1859. 

THERE  is  but  one  pleasant  scene  in 
the   whole    case,    and    that   is    the 
simple  fidelity  of  this  grateful  man  to  the 
241 


413  Pulpit    Pungencies  414 

truth,  and  the  unflinching  witness  borne  to 
his^head  Christ,  to  his  own  damage,  There  is  no 
amSy  question  that  .at  the  time  the  event  under 
consideration  took  place,  this  man  cut  the 
worst  figure  of  all  who  had  to  do  with  it. 
The  synagogue  stood,  all  the  officers  and 
the  parents  were  in  good  favor,  everybody 
smiled,  and  everything  was  pleasant  and 
brotherly,  except  so  far  as  this  one  man  was 
concerned.  He,  poor,  miserable  fellow, 
ran  his  head  against  authority  recklessly, 
and  was  kicked  out  of  the  synagogue,  and 
stood  all  alone  ! — Evening  Sennoit.  Decem- 
ber II,  1859. 


IT  was  a  remarkable  saying  of  one  of  the 
Revolutionary  heroes,  when  Congress, 

providence  _  ^ 

g^j'^^  instead  of  passing  a  bill  for  more  soldiers. 
Regiments  recommendcd  a  day  for  fasting  and  prayer, 
that  there  might  be  a  good  deal  in  fasting 
and  prayer,  but  he  had  noticed  that  God's 
providence  was  on  the  side  of  strong 
regiments. — Evening  Sermon^  February  10, 
i860. 

242 


415  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  416 

YOU  know  that  in  the  business  of 
pubUshing  there  are  what  are  called 
"  the  remainders."  If  an  edition  of  a  book  Remainders 
is  published,  and  it  is  not  all  sold,  the  part  the  Church 
that  remains  unsold  is  called  "  the  remain- 
der "  of  that  edition.  And  in  manufa6lur- 
ing  establishments  and  stores  there  is  a 
great  amount  of  stock  which  is  called 
"  remnants,"  and  which  consists  of  scraps, 
and  shop-worn  goods  that  are  left  over. 
Now  I  think  that  the  church  and  the  com- 
munity are  full  of  "remnants"  and  "re- 
mainders"— men  that  are  left  ovox,— Even- 
ing Sermon,  December  18,  1859. 


N 


OW  God  says,  "  Here  is  your  duty  for 


to-day,  and  the   means  with  which      God's 

.,,     _      .  .        Remittances 

to  do  it.  To-morrow  you  will  hnd  remit- 
tances and  further  dire6lions  ;  next  week 
you  will  find  other  remittances  and  other 
dire6lions  ;  next  month  you  will  find  others  ; 
and  next  year  still  o\h^x^r— Morning  Ser- 
'mony  December  18,  1859. 


243 


Rent 


417  Pulpit   Pungencies  419 

OUPPOSE  it  is  your  rent,  which  is  due 

it'l'yoS-     ^     next  week.     It  is  true  that  trusting 

will  not  pay  it ;  neither  will  fretting  about 

it  pay  it. — Morning  Sermon,  April  10,  1859. 


^  I  ^HERE  are  many  who  have  no  furni- 
-■-  ture  of  their  own — it  is  all  rented  ; 
and  there  are  as  many  and  more,  all  of 
whose  opinions  are  borrowed.  A  tale  is 
told.  Some  sinner  is  brought  to  Hght,  and 
the  evening  circle,  the  fashionable  circle, 
are  shocked  at  some  high  crime  and  mis- 
demeanor, not  against  the  laws  of  God,  but 
of  etiquette.  —  Evejiing  Sermon,  February 
12,  i860. 


Rented 
furniture 

and 
opinions 


Sin  in 
Repenting 


I  AM  shocked,  I  am  disgusted  with  the 
ignominiousness  of  repentance  among 
men  before  God,  when  they  are  so  reluc- 
tant about  it.  I  think  men  sometimes 
commit  more  sin  in  repenting,  than  they 
do  in  performing  the  things  of  which  they 
repent. — Morning  Sermo7t,  May  i,  1859. 
244 


man 


420  Ptdpit  Pungencies  422 

HERE  and  there,  God  makes  a  reser-        ^ 
voir-man,  and  other  men  draw   at 
him  and  take  their  suppUes  from  him. — 
Evenins:  Sermon,  March  18,  i860. 


THERE  are  some  men  who  gain  their 
Hvehhood  as  the  lazy  farmer  gets  his 
grist,  who  ties  his  bag  to  the  trough  of  the 
mill,  and  sits  down  and  waits  till  his  bag  is 
filled,  and  then  carries  it  home.  Business 
men  who  live  that  lazy  sort  of  life  are  said 
to  be  "  retired."  We  do  not  count  them  as 
among  the  Hving  forces  of  human  life. 
They  have  retired  from  life.  When  we 
talk  about  men,  we  do  not  talk  about  such 
men. — Morning:  Sermon,  October  ^o,  i860. 


Retired 


at  that 


CHILDREN  at  first  are  mere  animals. 
The  most  absolute  animals  on  the 
globe,  I  think,  are  these  little  pulpy  chil-  ^FamUy^ 
dren.  They  are,  as  they  roll  about,  like 
sunfish  floating  through  the  water— round, 
plump,  and  beautiful  to  look  at,  but  good 
for  nothing — absolutely  nothing.  I  will 
not  say  they  are  at  zero — they  are  below 
245 


422  Ptdpii   Pungencies  425 

zero.  They  seem  to  be  the  conne6ling 
link  between  nothing  and  something,  and 
very  faintly  revealed  at  that. — Morning  Ser- 
712011,  April  24,  1859.  ^ 


M 


EN  are  not  to  have  their  Christian 
graces  like  revolving  light-houses, 
^l'?!""'"  that  flash  a  white  light,  then  a  red  light, 
and  then  a  space  of  darkness,  to  be  follow- 
ed by  separate  flashes. — Morning  Sermon, 
February  5,  i860. 


graces 


A 


MAN  may  call  the  church  whatever 
names  he  pleases  ;  he  may  call  min- 
Right      isters  whatever  names  he  pleases  ;  he  may 

between 

the  joints    call  mc  an  enthusiast,  a  bifrot,  or  a  fanatic 

of  the  ^ 

harness  — thosc  things  do  uot  toucli  near  where  I 
live  ;  but  when  a  man  says  to  me,  "  You 
are  worldly-minded,"  that  does  hit  right 
between  the  joints  of  the  harness ! — Morn- 
ing Sermon,  August  14,  1859. 

ALL  such  virtues  as  gentleness,  neat- 
ness,   order,    punctuality,    courtesy, 
attention    to    etiquette,   fidehty    in    small 
246 


fellow 


425  Pulpit  Pungencies  426 

matters,    the   avoidance   of    meanness,   of 
negligence,    of    slackness — all    these    are  Right  up  and 

r  ^  '  '  A  down 

thin2:s  of  more  than  mmor  importance.  A  son  of  a 
man  cannot  justify  himself  for  negle6ling 
these  things  by  saying,  "  I  have  a  robust 
nature,  and  am  a  right-up-and-down  sort 
of  a  fellow,  and  people  cannot  expe6l  me  to 
have  any  of  these  little  finical  graces." — 
Evening  Sermon^  yanuary  22,  i860. 


WHERE  a  man  carries  himself  in  his 
conscience,  and  in  his  religion,  he 
is  not  at  the  mercy  of  any  outward  circum-  ^^^ 
stances  ;  but  where  a  man  carries  himself  ^^^^""^^  ^"" 
in  his  own  pocket,  a  rip  may  destroy  him. 
The  men  who  are  usually  counted  to  be  the 
first  men,  can  be  spilled  out  of  a  hole  in 
the  bottom  of  their  pocket ;  and  there  is 
nothing  stands  between  the  highest  and 
the  lowest,  but  just  the  difference  in  the 
state  of  their  pockets. — Morning  Sermon^ 
May  8,  1859, 


247 


427  Pulpit  Pungencies  429 

DO  you  believe  that  there  is  any  such 
thing  as  a  hot-house,  where  they  can 

Ripening         ,  ^ 

Souls  ripen  human  souls  as  they  ripen  pine- 
apples in  these  northern  climes  ? — Evening 
Sermon y  May  22,  1859. 


/CONVERSION  is  to  a  man's  soul  just 
^^-^     what  ripening  is  to  grapes.      They 

Converting    ,  .         -  .  » 

.men       hang  m  the  right  form  :  every  one  of  them 

just  like  ■' 

Ripening   has  skin  and  seeds,  but  all   of  .them   are 

grapes  ' 

sour.  But  just  let  them  hang  there  long 
enough  in  the  bright  sunshine  till  it  makes 
them  sweet,  and  they  are  converted.  That 
is  exa6lly  what  conversion  means  to  man. 
He  hangs  there,  but  sour,  until  he  sees 
what  is  the  power  of  God,  the  love  of  God 
and  the  spirit  of  God  becomes  sweetened 
to  him. — Evening  Sermon y  May  22,  1859. 


I 


THINK  that  the  whole  round  globe  is 
Rocks  it     J-      but  a  cradle,  and  that  God  rocks  it 

with  his  foot 

With  his   foot. — Morning  Sermo7iy  May   i, 
1859. 

248 


430  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  431 

THERE  are  many  whose  whole  idea  of 
attainment   and    chara6ler,    is    that 

1        .  ,  r  •  Singls- 

they  are  simply  implements  ol  success  m     biaded 


men 


secular  life.  It  is  getting  along  that  they  ^^^^^^^, 
think  of  Refinement,  culture  and  religion  ^"^^^^ 
are  valuable,  because  with  them  a  man  can 
better  serve  himself  in  this  life.  They 
look  upon  men  as  they  do  upon  knives. 
They  think  single-bladed  men  are  poor 
creatures.  In  their  view  some  men  are 
double -biaded,  and  some  have  as  many 
blades  as  Rodgers'  famous  pattern-knives 
which  are  displayed  to  tempt  customers. 
— Morning  Sermon,  November  2J,  1859. 

THERE  are  many  men  that  will  not 
get  away  from  trouble  when    they 
can.     If  there  is  trouble  in  one  room  they   .30  Rooms 

■'      ma  man  s 

will  not  so  much  as  go  into  another  room  ^^^^ 
to  avoid  it.  A  wise  man,  when  he  finds 
himself  in  a  room  where  there  is  trouble, 
goes  out  of  it  as  soon  as  possible.  Now 
Cod  has  put  at  least  thirty  rooms  in  a 
man's  mind,  and  if  there  is  trouble  in  one, 
he  can  go  up  to  the  next  one,  and  if  the 
249 


431  Ptilpit    Pungencies  433 

trouble  comes  into  that,  he  can  go  up  to 
the  next,  and,  if  necessary,  he  can  keep  go- 
ing up-stairs  till  he  gets  upon  the  roof; 
and  the  higher  he  goes,  the  more  tired  will 
troubles  get  of  flying  up  after  him. — Morn- 
ing Sermon,  yuly  24,  1859. 

'  I  ^HIS,  then,  is  the  secret  of  life — to 
For  a  man  ^  scclc  all  you  cau  lay  your  hand  on, 
Roost  oil  but  to  seek  it  only  as  a  round  of  a  ladder 
which  is  good  for  nothing  for  a  man  to  sit 
and  roost  on,  but  is  good  to  enable  him  to 
take  another  step,  that  step  being  only 
preliminary  to  the  next. — Morning  Serniony 
March  11,  i860. 


M 


EN  who  are  distinguished  from  their 
fellow-men    by    their    sharpness, 
^°^^J^^^  their   tacl,    their    management,    and    who 
Moses     become     the    world's    merchant     princes, 
though  they  seem  very  material,  have  more 
»      faith  than   almost  any  other  class   among 
us.     It  may  be  a  pecuniary  faith,  a  com- 
mercial   faith,    but    it    is    faith.       Baring 
Brothers  are  men   of  faith,    though   their 
250 


433  Pulpit  Ptiugencies  435 

faith  may  not  be  of  the  highest  order. 
Old  Rothschild  is  a  man  of  faith,  though 
his  faith  is  very  different  from  that  which 
Moses  had.  Moses  lived  as  seeing  Him 
who  is  invisible  ;  and  Rothschild  lives  as 
seeing  it  which  is  invisible.  The  power 
of  foreseeing  which  Moses  had,  was  the 
same  that  Rothschild  has. — Morning  Ser- 
ine Ji,  October  ,iOy  1859. 

WHEN  you  get  an  apple  that  is  half 
rotten,  the  other  half  being  as  Haif-Rotten 
good  as  though  the  whole  were  sound,  then 
you  can  get  a  Christian  that  is  rotten  on 
one  side,  who  is  as  good  on  the  other  side 
as  if  both  sides  were  good. — Morning  Scr- 
vion,  September  \^,  1S59. 

OTHER  children  don't  get  broken  in 
so  eas^y — perhaps  from  something 
in  themselves,  and  perhaps  from  a  want  of  ARo>-ai 
skill  on  the  part  of  their  parents.  In  such  kght^ 
cases  there  comes  a  time  when  there  is  a 
royal  family  fight,  and  the  question  is  who 
shall  come  out  ahead,  the  father  and 
251 


apples 

and 

Christians 


435  Pulpit   Pungencies  438 

mother,  or  the  child.  —  Morning   Sermon, 
February  5,  i860. 


I 


DO  not  need  a  God,  whose  business 
it  is  to  rub  up  the  stars  and   keep 
A  God  to    them  bright,  to  turn  the  vast  wheel  of  the 

Rub  up  the 

stars  universe,  and  by  infinite  forces  to  take  care 
of  globes  and  human  beings,  but  a  God 
who  tells  me,  "  The  hairs  of  your  head 
are  all  numbered,"  and  who  says,  "  Not  a 
sparrow  falls  to  the  ground  without  my 
notice." — Mornmg  Sermon^  ytdy  3,  1859. 


I 


SHOULD  be  sorry  to  think  that  there 
^^^        —      was  a  man  here  who  had  not  got  a 
Satnt      saint.     I  have  one. — Evenijig  Sermon,  Oc- 
tober %  1859. 


IT  is  quite  in  vain  for  a  man  to  set  apart 
a.a,^.  hours   to  pray,  if  he  gives   to    Satan 

vs. 

Satan      all  the  rest  of  his  time. — Morning  Sermon, 
yanuary  22,  i860. 

252 


439  PtUpit  Pungencies  441 

^  I  ^HE  Satan  of  sacred  literature  is  im- 

^       possible    to   any   rational    man,    or  impossible 
rational  mind. — Evening   Scnnon,    October 
23,  1859. 

I  DO  not  think  there  is  a  thing  about 
which  men  sin  more  than  they  do  in 
this  matter  of  lying.  They  lie  from  their  ^"  °'^ 
birth.  From  the  womb  they  go  spreading  P^^a^^^"^ 
lies.  David  said,  in  his  haste,  that  all  men 
were  liars  ;  and  an  old  Scotch  preacher 
very  shrewdly  remarked  that  he  never  took 
it  back  when  he  got  leisure. — Morning  Ser- 
7non,  ynne  26,  1859. 

TT^ID  you  ever  hear  how  the  string  of  a 
-*-^  harp  or  a  violin  complains  when  you  Men  don't 
begin  to  turn  the  key,  and  screw  it  up  to  screwed  up 
concert  pitch  }  How  it  wails  !  And  yet 
when  it  is  screwed  tight,  it  discourses 
glorious  music — and  only  then.  Men  do 
not  like  to  be  screwed  up,  but  they  all 
want  good  music  brought  out  of  them. 
God  knows  better  than  they  do  what  con- 
ditions are  required  for  such  music,  and  he 
253 


441  Pulpit   Pungencies  444 

turns  the  keys  of  life,  and  brings  them,  at 
last,  into  concord  ;  but  it  is  late  before 
many  of  them  are  fit  to  be  played  upon. — 
Evening  Sermon,  October  (^y  i859- 

BUSINESS   leaks   at   every   seam   be- 
.....  cause  men  are  not   trustworthy.  — 

a,t  6 very 

Seam      Evening  Sermon ,  February  10,  i860. 


T 


HERE  are  men  that  have  a  selvage 
of  goodness  to  the  garment  of  their 
Selvage     chara6ler,   which  makes  them   appear  like 

of goodness 

good  men  ;  and  yet,  if  you  look  at  their 
chara6ler  as  a  whole,  you  shall  find  that 
they  are  mean,  hard,  selfish,  pinching, 
stingy  men.  —  Evening  Sermon,  February 
10,  i860. 


A 


S  men  begin  in  life  so  they  are  very 

apt    to    continue.        As    in     water 

Set       cement,  the  form  very  soon  hardens  almost 

to   a  stone,   so  any  moral  habit  very  soon 

gives  a  set  to  conduct,  and  then  it  is  almost 

.  like  breaking  flint  to  change  that  condu6l. 

— Evening  Sermon,  November  20,  1859. 

254 


445  Pulpit   Pungencies  447 


I 


T  would  be  better  for  us  if  we  had  more 
childishness  about  ourselves.    Masons 


know  that  that  work  is  never  good  which  sets       Sets 

too  quick. 

too  quick.  If  manhood  sets  too  quick,  it  is 
apt  to  be  stiff  and  brittle. — Evening  Ser- 
mon, Febrnary  26,  i860, 

I  WOULD  rather  be  a  nobody,  and  have 
no    character   and    no    responsibility, 
than  to  be  one  of  those  miserable,  truckling      The 
men    in    God's    service,    who  are   forever    ^^Sy' 

ot  a 

watching  their  influence,  for  fear  they  shall  shadow 
lose  it.  Suppose  you  should  see  a  man 
going  up  and  down  some  street,  and  you 
should  ask  him  why  he  did  it,  and  he  should 
say :  "  God  has  committed  to  me  the 
responsibility  of  a  shadow,  and  I  am  taking 
care  that  I  do  not  lose  my  shadow ! " — 
Evening  Sermon ,  May  22,  1859. 

THERE  are  those  who  recognize  only, 
or  mainly,  their  own  agency  in  this 
world.    They  see  no  living  forces  but  them- 
selves.    Their  state  of  mind  depends  upon 
how  much  blood  they  have,  how  good  their 
255 


447  Ptilpit   Pungencies 


448 


digestion  is,  whether  or  not  hope  is  the 
largest  organ  in  their  head,  and  the  amount 
of  spirituality   they   possess.     They   think 

God 

Shakes     there  is  but  one  law,  namely,  that  every 

the  conceit  -'  '  -' 

out  of  them  j^g^v^  should  carvc  out  his  own  course 
through  life.  If  they  are  successful,  their 
success  must  be  achieved  on  a  low  plane — 
it  must  be  a  creature-good,  as  divines  some- 
times call  it.  It  can,  at  best,  yield  them 
only  temporary  comforts.  If  they  are 
destined  to  a  higher  good,  they  are  soon 
handled  in  a  manner  calculated  to  modify 
their  ideas  of  their  own  independence. 
God  shakes  the  conceit  out  of  them. — 
Morning  Sermon,  September  25,  1859. 


Shaking 
hands 

a 
means 
of  grace 


O 


NE  of  the  noblest  men  I  ever  saw  on 
earth,  and  now  I  believe  in  Heaven, 
— a  man  standing  as  high  as  any  State 
could  put  her  sons  in  places  of  honor  and 
trust — I  have  noticed  that  he  never  met  an 
acquaintance  that  he  did  not  stop  and 
shake  hands  with  him.  Though  I  have 
met  him  as  often  as  ten  or  twelve  times  a 
day,  I  never  passed  him  without  his  shak- 
256 


A 

contented 

live  man 

is  a  Sham  I 


448  Pulpit  Pungencies  451 

ing  me  by  the  hand.  At  first  it  seemed 
strange,  but  I  soon  came  to  feel  the  power 
which  it  awakened  in  me  ;  the  sense  of 
his  interest  and  kindly  feeling  causes  a 
reciprocation  of  it,  and  I  came  at  last  to 
shake  hands  with  him  almost  as  a  means 
of  grace. — Evening  Sermon,  May  i,  1859. 

IF  a  man  has  come  to  that  point  where 
he  is  content,  he  ought  to  be  put  in 
his  coffin  ;  for  a  contented  live,  man  is  a 
€ham  ! — Morning  Sermon,  Mareh  11,  i860. 

WE  are  apt  to  carry  ourselves  as  men 
arrange  their  stores.  The  newest 
and  most  attra6live  goods  are  in  the  win-  ^^^"Ji^^^^ 
dows  ;  but  those  which  are  old,  or  shop-  ^^'^^^ 
worn,  or  rotten,  or  adulterated,  are  taken 
far  back  in  the  half-lights,  where  sharp- 
eyed  clerks  sell  to  bat-eyed  customers. — 
Morning  Sermon,  November  27,  1859. 

HOW  many  men  there  are,  who,  after 
having  been  in  the  church  ten  or   (filriSfang 
twenty  years,  are  just  about  where   they 
were  when  they  first  entered  it.     They  are 

257 


Christ 


roof 


451  Pulpit  Pungencies  452 

a  little  better  in  this  or  that  field — a  little 
improved  in  spots — but  the  annual  harvest 
is  not  much  more  at  the  end  of  twenty 
years  than  it  was  at  the  end  of  five  years. 
Lazy  Christians  !  shiftless  Christians  !  un- 
growing  and  unfruitful  Christians  ! — Even- 
ing Sermon^  October  16,  1859. 


I 


N  our  day  there  is  as  much  division  in 

the  Church  as  there  has  been  at  any 

pouting     previous  period.     Christ  as  a  do6lrine  will 

Shiogles  .  ,  ,  ^,      .  1 

on  the  unite  churches  ;  Christ  as  the  emancipator 
of  those  in  bondage  will  divide  the  whole 
Church.  Christ  making  men  strong  and 
rich  outwardly,  and  Christ  as  patron  and 
proteftor  of  men  that  are  strong  and  rich 
outwardly,  will  unite  the  whole  community  ; 
Christ  giving  rights  to  the  weak  and  the 
poor  will  divide  the  whole  community. 
Christ  putting  shingles  on  the  roof  of  the 
temple  of  Christianit}^,  as  men  have  fashion- 
ed it,  will  be  received ;  Christ  changing 
the  foundations  of  that  temple  will  be  re- 
jected.—  Morning  Sermon^   December    25, 

1859. 

258 


453  Pulpit  Pungencies  454 


I 


Short  off 

in 

the  middle 


BELIEVE  that  men  are  oftener  de- 
stroyed by  the  character  of  the  feel- 
ings which  they  carry  on  account  of  their 
troubles,  than  by  the  force  of  the  troubles 
themselves.     Here  is  a  man,  for  instance, 
who,  when  he  fell  down,  broke  his  courage 
short  off  in  the  middle.    He  was  only  forty- 
five  or  fifty  years  of  age,   and,  if  he  had 
only  thought  so,  he  could  have  got  up  on 
his  hands,  and  then  upon   his  knees,    and 
then  up  on  his  feet ;  and  in  the  course  of 
five  years  he   could   have   put   himself  to 
rights  again.      But   he  broke  his  courage 
in   two   in  the    middle,  and  from  that  day 
he  has    never  got  up.     He   is  like  a  man 
with   a  broken  spine,  who  never  has  any 
feeling  down  in  his  iQ,€^.— Morning  Sermon, 
June  12,  1859. 

I  THINK  the  most  humihating  thing  a 
person  could  do— but  our  vanity  will 
not  let  us  do  it — would  be  to  sit  down  and 
think  how  he  has  fretted  and  stewed  and  simmered 
simmered  in  advance,  about  griefs  and 
troubles  which  never  came  as  he  anticipat- 
259 


Fretted 
and  stewed 


454  Pulpit  Pungencies  457 

ed  they  would. — Morning  Seivion,  December 
18,  1859. 

OF  thousands  upon  thousands  of  young 
.  -,.  -  men   Sino^  Smo:  is   askino^,  "When 

IS  asking  o  o  O' 

ihey^'ome"?''  wiH  they  come  ?"  Wait  patiently,  old  Pri- 
son, they  are  on  the  way ! — Evening  Ser- 
mon, March  4,  i860. 


w 


E  are  not  obliged  to  sit  in  our  minds 

^^  with   all  the  doors  open,  nor  with 

^minds""^   all  the  windows  open.     We  have  a  right  of 

windows    reserve,  of  self-inclosure,  of  refusing  to  let 

men  know  what  we  are,  what  we  think,  and 

what  we  do. —  Morning  Sermon,  J^ime  26, 

1859. 

NEVER  resort — except  where  you  find 
that    a   kind   of    moral    plaster    is 
necessary  to  promote  inward  inflammation, 
"^^'way^^   or  to  draw  it  off! — to  these  snappings,  and 
'^"skin  ^^  pinchings,    and   slappings,    and    degrading 
annoyances,  which  are  so  detestable.     But 
where  there  is  raised  up  against  you  a  little 
tyrannic  will  that  must   be  subdued,  if  by 
260 


457  Pttlpit   Pungencies  460 

patient  reasoning  and  persuasion  you  can 
not  subdue  it,  there  is  a  way  by  which  you 
can  do  it  through  the  skin  ;  and  when  you 
do  it,  do  it  thoroughly,  and  be  done  with  it. 
— Evening  Sermon,  February  26,  i860. 

I     HATE    French   words — there   is   no    ^ii  skiu 
depth  in  them — they  are  all  skin  and      p^ish 
polish. — Evening  Sermon,  May  i,  1859. 

THERE  are  some  men  that  are  born  so 
sleazy  that  it  seems  as  though  no  sew-      Bom 
ing  would  make  them  into  garments  of  any 
account. — Morning  Sermon,  March  1 1,  i860. 


Sleazy 


A 


TAKE  somebody  who  is  rather  faulty, 
who  you  think  is  a  slippery  Chris- 
tian,  and   whom  you  like  to  disse6l,    and    slippery 

-^  Christian 

remember  that  the  work  of  grace  is  begun 
in  him,  and  lift  him  up,  and  imagine  what 
he  will  be  in  the  future,  till  you  see  him 
enveloped  in  a  flood  of  God's  glory,  and 
then  look  at  him. —  Wednesday  Evening 
Lecture,  November  16,  1859. 


261 


461  Pulpit   Pungencies  462 

THE   acquisition    by   mankind    of    the 
knowledge  at  present  in  the  world, 
has  been  the  work  of  now  more  than  three 

Remarkably  .  .... 

Smart  thousand  years — for  it  is  only  within  the 
last  three  thousand  years  that  man  has 
thought  of  studying  much.  The  human 
race,  in  this  respe6t,  is  like  our  children. 
We  do  not  think  of  putting  them  to  school 
before  they  are  three  or  four,  and  some- 
times five  or  six  years  old,  unless  they  are 
remarkably  smart — and  all  children  are. 
— Llorning  Sermon,  April  22,  1859. 

THERE  never  was  any  smell  so  sweet 
to  me  at  sea,  as  the  breeze  that  came 
Near  enough  off  the  land.     When   I  returned  from  Eu- 

to 

heaven  i"ope,  ^ud  first  smellcd  this  continent,  I  did 
not  know  what  it  was,  as  I  walked,  or 
rather  staggered,  about  the  deck,  but  I  felt 
a  wonderful  sense  of  reviving,  an  odor  of 
something  sweet ;  and  that  moment  my 
appetite  returned,  and  from  that  moment  I 
lost  all  sea-sickness,  and  felt  like  a  new 
man.  I  think  it  should  be  so  when  we 
come  near  heaven  ;  the  moment  we  are 
262 


462  Ptipit  Pungencies  463 

near  enough  to  smell  the  odor  of  the  land, 
that  moment  every  man  should  throw  away 
all  earth-sickness,  and  feel  himself  growing 
strong  and  young  2,^21^.— Evening  Sermon, 
Jtme  5,  1809. 


MEN    build   up   good,    men   build   up 
chara6ler    in    this   world,    as    the 

r        •       i.  Only 

artist  produces  a  panitmg  ;  as,  lor  mstance,    ^^ne^^ 
Raphael  wrought  his   exquisite  piclure  of 
the   Madonna,   which    required   days,    and 
weeks,  and  months    of  the   closest   appli- 
cation, and  which  progressed  little  by  little, 
touch  by  touch,  with  a  brush  whose  tip  was 
not  bigger  than  the  point  of  a  pin  ;  or,  as 
a  beautiful  rainbow  is   produced,  which  is 
wrought  out,  little  touches  by  little  touches, 
day  after  day,  week  after  week,  and  month 
after  month  being  required   for  its  execu- 
tion.    Suppose  an  artist,  after  having  com- 
pleted   such   a   piaure,  in    a    moment  of 
intoxication,  goes  into  his  studio,  takes  his 
brush,  dips  it  into  black  paint,  and  applies 
it  thereto.     Only  one  smouch  and  the  work 
263 


463  Pulpit   Pungencies  465 

of  months  is  destroyed  ! — Morning  Sermon, 
yanuary  23,  1859. 


I 


T  makes  a  great  difference  whether  a 

j.^^  ^^^  sin  is  amusing  or  not  about  its  being 

Sober^ones  tolcrated — laughable  lies  and  wickednesses 

go  along  smoothly,  when  everybody  kicks 

sober  ones. — Morning   Sermon,   June  26, 

1859. 

SOME  men  are  like  empty  ships,  which 
meiroia  dancc  and  toss  about  like  egg-shells 

hves^  on  the  water,  but  which,  if  you  load  them, 
and  sink  them  down  to  the  deck,  will  ride 
steadily  through  the  waves.  Many  men 
have  to  experience  real  trouble  before  they 
will  carry  an  even  keel ;  and  then  they 
make  good  voyages.  In  the  case  of  not  a 
few,  real  trouble  is  the  best  thing  that  can 
happen  to  them.  Many  men  are  like  old 
pastures  which  are  very  short  and  turf- 
bound,  which  do  not  like  to  be  plowed, 
but  the  usefulness  of  which,  as  is  shown 
by  the  crops  they  produce,  is  materially 
increased  by  their  being  turned  over  to 
264 


465  Pulpit  Pungencies  467 

the  depth  of  fifteen  inches  or  so.  Many 
men  do  not  hke  to  have  their  old  soddy 
lives  plowed  up  by  trouble,  but  their  lives 
are  improved,  as  is  shown  by  the  clarifying 
effe6ls  produced  upon  them,  by  being  turn- 
ed up  from  the  very  bottom.  —  Morning 
Sermojiy  Atigtist  14,  1859. 


H 


OW  doubly  condemned  will  that  man 


feel  who  finds  that  in  denyino:  Christ      Soid 

^       ^  the  world 

he  has  denied  himself — that  when  he  sold     .mthe 


himself  for  the  world,  he  sold  the  world  in 
the  very  bargain  ! — Morning  Sermon^  June 
12,  1859. 

AS  means  to  an  end,  all  things  are  good. 
As  ends  only,  they  are  good  for 
nothing.  And  this  is  the  reason  why  I 
read  to  you  that  singular  chaj^ter  from 
Ecclesiastes,  which  made  many  of  you  stare 
so,  where  Solomon  told  what  he  did.  He 
did  a  great  many  things  that  I  hope  will 
never  be  done  again.  He  went  through  a 
wide  circuit  of  folly  which  many  Solomon- 
265 


bargain 


Solomonculi 


467  Pulpit  Pungencies  470 

culi  have  undertaken  to  go  through  since. 
— Morning  Sermon y  March  11,  i860. 


Spigots 


A 


RICH    man's    sons    are   usually   so 

many  spigots  in  a  hogshead.     The 

bunghoie    sum  of  all  their  bores  is  larger  than  the 

whole  bung-hole  ;  and  he  cannot  pour  in  as 

fast  as  they  draw  out. — Evening  Sermon y 

Febrnary  5,  i860. 

GOD  is,  by  disappointments,  continually 
heading  us  back  on  every  side.      If 

grow  up  long 

s  •^'^n  ^^  were  not'  for  this  we  should  grow  up  long 
and  spindling. — Morning  Sermon^  yanuary 
15,  i860. 


IT  is  very  hard  to  find  men  now  ;  you 
can  find  jrood  sticks  in  the  woods  for 


Sticks 


men 


pientbj^than  ^^^^^^  though  that  is  difficult ;  yet  you  can 
Splicing  find  ten  sticks  easier  than  you  can  find  one 
man.  We  must  make  men  now  as  they 
make  masts  ;  they  saw  down  a  dozen  trees, 
splice  them  together,  and  bind  them  round 
with  iron  hoops,  and  thus  make  masts  that 
are  supposed  to  be  stronger  than  if  they 
266 


470  Pulpit    Pungencies  472 

were  one  piece  of  timber.  And  so  with 
men  ;  if  you  want  a  good  man,  you  have  to 
take  a  dozen  men,  spUce  them  together, 
wind  the  hoops  of  responsibihty  round  and 
round  them,  put  watching  bands  all  about 
them,  before  you  can  get  a  man  with  whom 
you  dare  leave  your  money  ;  and  then  they 
will  run  away  with  it. — Evening  Sermon, 
May  8,  1859. 


I  DO  not  deny  the  right  of  a  man  to  be 
converted  in  ju&t  the  way  that  is  best  gp^.^^^ 
adapted  to  his  nature.  Every  man  has  that 
right.  God  has  a  right  to  make  seed 
sprout  as  he  pleases. — Morning  Sermony 
May  29,  1859. 


IN  the  proportion  that  you  become  like 
God  in  your  temper,  that  temper  be- 
comes a  lens  through  which  you  see  God  ;  ^p>"s1^^ 
for  "  the  pure  in  heart  shall  see  God."  A 
pure  heart  is  God's  spy-glass. — Morning 
Sermony  October  16,  1859. 
267 


God's 


473  Pulpit  Pungencies  475 


I 


OFTEN  see  men  who  seem  to  think 
that  it  is  a  very  great  thing  to  squeak 

great  thing  .     .  ^       •  r 

to        at  every  jonit,  and  that  every  revolution  01 

^^^^^'■yj"'^*  business     should     be     accompanied     with 

groans.  —  Moiiiing    Senno7t,    August    14, 

1859. 


M 


EN   that   have    wealth    and   do  not 
know  what  to  do  with  it,  are  the 

We  hear  the 

victuns     most  miserable  men  out  of  hell — and  they 


Squejil 


ought  to  be  !  There  is  a  fable  told  of  a 
man  whose  gold  was  poured  molten  down 
his  throat.  The  same  thing  is  done  every 
day  in  the  year  among  us  ;  and  we  hear  the 
victims  squeal  perpetually  in  their  wretch- 
edness and  misery.  —  Morning  Sermon^ 
March  11,  i860. 


I 


WOULD  much  rather  fight  pride  than 
vanity  ;  because  pride  has  a  stand-up 

Stand  up 

way.      wav  of  fiirhting.     You  know  where  it  is. — 

of  fighting  "  00 

Morning  Sermon,  Fcbj'iiary  5,  i860. 
268 


476  Pulpit  Pungencies  478 

IT  stands  to  reason  that  a  man  whose 
Hfe  is  regulated  by  a  high  moral  pur- 
pose, can  make  a  better  use  of  his  time 
than  a  man  whose  life  is  divided  up  by  self- 
ish instincts. — Evening  Sermon,  Febmary 
10,  i860. 

I  TELL  you  that  the  moral  reasonings 
of  the  store  and  the  counting-room, 
with  reference  to  what  is  right  and  what  is 
wrong  in  getting  money,  and  the  reason- 
ings of  God's  judgment-seat,  will  be  very 
different  operations.  You  can  muzzle  your 
fear,  and  you  can  silence  your  conscience, 
and  you  can  go  on  making  money  by  ways 
which  God  abhors,  and  which  every  honest 
man  ought  to  abhor,  and  you  can,  in  the 
meantime,  have  comparative  peace  ;  but 
there  is  a  great  difference  between  staving 
off  judgment  now,  and  staving  off  revelation 
and  judgment  then  !  —  Evening  Sermon, 
yaniMry  15,  i860. 

I    LIKE  the  tyrant's  flail.     I  like  to  see 
him  plow.     I   like   to   see  him  make 
himself  asinine  for  breaking  up  the  ground. 
269 


It 

Stands  to 
reason 


Staving  off 

judgment 

now  and 

then  1 


478  Pulpit  Pungencies  480 

I  like  to  see  him  do  a  yeoman's  duty  in  the 

field.     He  is  sowing  the  seed  for  the  har- 

steering    vest  of  liberty.     For    God,  and   not   man, 

them  ! 

reigns  in  the  earth.  Men  think  they  are 
dire6ling  their  own  course,  but  God  is 
steering  them  into  his  own  harbors. — Morn- 
ing Serniony  Deceinber  4,  1859. 


M 


ANY  persons    say   that  God   made 
natural  laws  to   do  everything  in 
And  then    the  world,  and  then  stepped  out  and  left 

Stepped 

out       them   to    themselves.  —  Evening    Sermon^ 


September  18,  1859. 


Y 


Stem 


OU  have  seen,  in  fields  of  grain,  where 

there  was    an  average  low  growth, 

S^'iong  t^^^  \iQXQ  and  there  some  long  stalks  shot 

up  and  bore  a  lordly  head  of  wheat  nearly 

twice  as  high  as  those  round  about  them. 

So  there  are,  in  communities  and  churches, 

single  Christians  that  throw  themselves  up 

with  a  long  stem,  and  bend  down  with  a 

full  head — for  the  fuller  the  head,  the  more 

humble   the   man    is   apt  to  be. — Evening 

Sermon^  October ^,  1859. 

270 


481  Pulpit   Pungencies  481 

MOST   men    grow    as   vines    do    out 
West.     When  vines  grow  in  God's 
vineyard,  the  tops  are  cut  oft,  and  they  are    with  long 
kept  down,   so  that  the  fruit   grows   near     stems 
the  ground,  where  everybody  can  reach  it : 
but  if  you  go  out  into  the  rich  valleys  of 
the   West,  you  will  find  that   at   first  the 
vines  have  fruit  near  the  ground,  but  that 
they  go  on  climbing,  till  by  and  by  they 
get  up  to  the  tops  of  the  highest  trees  ;  and 
now  you  may  climb  ten  feet,  and  not  find  a 
cluster  ;  you  may  climb  ten  feet  more,  and 
still  not   find   a   cluster ;   you   may   climb 
thirty,  forty,  sixty,  eighty  feet,  and  there,  in 
the  topmost  boughs,  you  will  find  grapes. 
There  are  hundreds  of  men  who  are  grow- 
ing,  growing,    with    long   polished    stems, 
reaching  up  eighty  feet  in  the  air,  who  lift 
their  heads  far  up  in  the  sunlight  of  their 
own  prosperity,  and  who  will  have  nothing 
to  do  with  those  who  live  down  near  the 
ground.    Now  do  not  grow  like  wild  vines  ; 
grow   like   cultivated  vines,   so   that   your 
fellow-men  can  at  least  touch  the  clusters 


271 


481  Pulpit  Pungencies  483 

which  are  being  ripened  by  your  sap  and 
blood. — Morning  Sermon,  May  8,  1859. 


IF  you  want  to  make  a  man  exquisitely 
Let  him  '^'aii^  and  selfish,  let  him  make  a  pot- 

himsdf  tage  of  himself,  and  stew  himself,  and  stir 
himself  up  in  a  journal.  The  man  who 
writes  a  journal  always  has  one  eye  on  the 
printing-press. — Eventing  Sermon,  November 
6,  1859. 


c 


the  Sheath 


HURCHES   are  but  instruments  of 
God.     They  are  swords  in  his  hand 
Churches    for  the   accomplishment  of  his  great  pur- 
poses ;  and  if,  when  he  goes  forth  to  wield 
them,  they  stick  in  the  sheath,  so  that  he 
cannot  get  them  out,  how  much  value  do 
you  suppose  he  places  upon  them }     Nine 
out  of  ten  of  the  churches  in  the  world  are 
not  only  swords  that  stick  in  the  sheath, 
but  they  are  so  rusted  that  if  you  could  get 
them  out  they  would  be  good  for  nothing. 
— Morning  Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 
272 


484  Pulpit  Pungencies  4S6 

I   AM  in  a  strait,  often,  betwixt  two.     I 
do  believe  in  conversion,  and   in  the 

^  ,,  Meanness 

power  of  new  spiritual  life  ;  but  alter  all,  my  sticks 
own  observation  has  gone  to  show  that  a 
naturally  mean  man  is  very  apt  to  have  his 
meanness  stick  to  him  after  he  becomes  a 
professor  of  religion.  —  Evening  Sermon, 
February  10,  i860. 


The  Devil 


THERE  are  a  great  many  temptations 
that  are  mere  nervous  temptations, 

1  lie   j^cvii 

and  a  great  many  visions  that  are  simply  adisorde-d 
improper  manifestations  of  the  mental 
economy.  There  are  a  great  many  things 
which  men  register  in  their  journals  as  the 
work  of  the  Devil,  that  are  nothing  but  the 
work  of  a  disordered  siomd.Qh.—Eve?ting 
Sermon,  May  22,  1859. 


I 


TELL  you,  that  although  there  is 
great  blessing  in  a  prayer-meeting,  no 
prayer-meeting  on  earth  is  such  a  means  ^'^^^.|£^^ 
of  grace  as  a  man's  own  store. — Morning  man^sown 
Sermon,  September  18,  1859. 


273 


487  Pulpit  Pungencies  487 

CHRIST  comes,  and  walks,  and  teaches 
as  never  man  taught.     He  fills  the 

Not  a  good  ,  .        -  ,  - 

String  whole  world,  for  the  space  01  centuries, 
with  the  sublimity  of  his  presence,  and  the 
majesty  of  his  love.  And  now,  in  the 
midst  of  these  mighty  sublimities  a  man 
comes  and  asks,  "  Do  you  think  the  mother 
of  Christ  was  a  virgin  ? "  Why,  a  child 
ought  to  have  thought  better.  Where  is 
the  moral  sense ;  what  has  become  of  the 
spiritual  nature  of  a  man  that  is  untouched 
when  God's  hand  runs  across  the  chords 
of  deepest  feeling !  When  the  bright 
heaven  above  ;  when  the  transporting  glory 
of  the  beatified  state  ;  when  all  the  glories 
which  poets  have  dreamed  of — when  these 
things  are  brought  before  the  soul  of  a 
man,  and  God  says,  "  This  is  yours  ;  the 
promise  is  to  you  and  your  children,  and  to 
them  that  are  afar  off,"  the  man  does  not 
feel  the  promise ;  he  does  not  feel  the  glory 
of  this  moral  disclosure  ;  he  only  feels  that 
there  is  a  blunder  in  the  arithmetic  some- 
where ;  he  only  feels  that  the  string  with 


274 


487  Ptdpit   Pzmgencies  490 

which  the  medicine  is  tied  up  is  not  a  good 
string! — Evening  Sermon,  October  2,  1859. 

NOW  Paul  says,  "  I  can  do  just  which 
you  please  ;  I  can  work,  and  work 
to  the  full ;  or  I  can  stand  still,  and  not  do 
a  stroke." — Morning  Sermon,  November  20, 
1859. 


I 


THINK  the  ten  plagues  of  Egypt  one 
after  another,  frogs,  lice  and  all,  would 


Not  do  a 
Stroke 


not  be  worse  than  is  that  plague,  that  in-      ikF' 

and  all 

tolerable  nuisance  of  French  literature.     I 

Eugene 

had  rather  my  child  (and  I  speak  the  words  ^"^ 
of  truth  and  soberness)  would  take  his 
chance  in  making  a  journey  through  pest 
hospitals,  plague  hospitals,  yellow  fever 
hospitals,  five  or  six  of  them  in  succession, 
than  to  walk  through  those  pest  volumes 
of  even  one  writer — Eugene  Sue. — Eveniiig 
Sermon,  May  15,  1859. 

WHEN  a  child  has  come  to  be  fifteen 
years    of   age,   he    is    about    old 
enough  to  take  care  of  himself ;  but  when 
275 


490  Pulpit   Pungencies  492 

a  child  is  but  fifteen  days  old,  he  needs 

mother,   and  father,  and  nurse,  and  minis- 

Surcingies  teriug  care  on  every  side.     And  our  infant 

for  the 

heart  thoughts  and  yearnings  are  the  ones  that 
need  nursing.  The  adult  ones  may  safely 
be  left  alone.  And  yet  we  put  overcoats, 
and  girts,  and  surcingles,  and  harnesses  on 
our  heart  -  feelings  after  they  get  to  be 
strong  and  robust. — Morning  Sermony  De- 
cember II,  1859. 

HOW  many  men  can  you  find,   who 
juiced  make  it  a  part  of  their  daily  busi- 


luiced 
feelings 


ness  to  suppress  all  malign  feelings,  and  to 
manifest  generous  ones  .^  How  many  can 
you  find  who  say  to  themselves,  "  When  I 
go  forth  among  my  fellow-men,  it  is  my 
duty  to  go  with  sweet-juiced  feelings,  and 
to  make  them  dominant  over  my  lower  feel- 
ings }  " — Morning  Sermon,  yuly  24,  1859. 


HERE  is  a  man  who  can  lift  fifty-six 
..>....u^^  pounds,  and  throw  it  two  hundred 

of  creation 

feet.     "  What    a   great    man !      says   Tom 

Hyer ;    "  splendid    fellow  !  "     And   so   he 

276 


492  Pulpit  Pungencies  493 

would  say  of  a  man  who  could  strike  an- 
other hard  enough  to  knock  him  ten  feet 
throus-h  the  air.     Another  man  being  ask-    whipped 

o  Syllabub 

ed,  "  Is  that  your  idea  of  manhood  ? "  says,  of  creation 
"  No  ;  I  want  a  man  who  has  taste,  who 
sees  everything  on  the  side  of  beauty, 
who  can  sketch,  group,  arrange  artisti- 
cally ;  who  has  refinement  of  taste  in 
things  physical,  and  in  things  social ;  and, 
in  short,  whose  law  and  conscience  in  Hfe 
is  refinement  —  an  aesthetic  conscience, 
rather  than  an  ethical."  This  would  fill 
the  idea  of  manhood  with  some.  Another 
man  says,  "Although  your  man  is  better 
than  a  pugilist,  he  is  far  yet  from  being  my 
man  ;  for  a  man  of  mere  taste  is  but  a 
whipped  syllabub  of  creation." — Morning 
Sermon,  February  27,  1859. 

NOT  a  great  while  ago,  in  Cortland- 
ville,    a    man    went    to    hear    Mr. 

^         ,  T      1  •  The  old 

Phillips    and    Mr.    Curtis.      I    have    since   synagogue 

^  business 

made  inquiries   concerning   the   man,   and    over  again 
learned  that  he  stood  second  to  no  man  in 
that    place  in  respe6l  to  piety,  and  man- 
277 


493  Ptilpit  Pungencies  495 

hood,  and  upright  condu6l.  His  church — . 
whose  particular  name  I  will  not  mention 
s'^na-c?^ue  — ^^^  ^^  judgment  upon  him,  and  excom- 
over'alafn  muuicatcd  him,  for  exercising  his  right  to 
hear  other  teachers  besides  those  whom 
they  recognized.  The  case  was  appealed, 
and  the  court  above  confirmed  the  decision 
of  the  lower  court.  The  case  was  again 
appealed,  and  the  decision  was  again  con- 
firmed ;  and  the  man  stands — happily  for 
him — excommunicated. — Evening  SermoUy 
Decern ber  ii,  1859. 


T 


HERE  are  different  sizes  of  feathers 
on  an  eagle ;  there  are  wing-feathers, 
Tail-feather  and   tail-fcathcrs,    and   down.      And  there 

lies 

are  wing-feather  lies,  and  tail-feather  lies, 
and  downy  lies.  You  can  lie  without  open- 
ing your  mouth,  as  well  as  by  opening  it. 
Your  little  finger  can  lie  as  well  as  your 
tongue. — Morning  Sermon,  June  26,  1859. 

IF  a  man  has  nothing  better  to  do  than 
turning  a  grindstone,  it  is  better  to  be 
educated  ;  or  sticking  pins  on  a  paper,  or 
278 


495  Pulpit   Pungencies  497 

sweeping  the  streets  ;  it  makes  no  difference 
what  you  do,  you  will  do  it  better  if  you  are 
an  intelligent  man.  It  is  said  that  blood  xeir 
will  tell  in  stock ;  and  I  know  that  intelli- 
gence will  tell  in  man. — Evening  Sermon^ 
May  8,  1859. 

WHEN  our  Saviour  preached,  he 
never  took  a  text  out  of  the  Bible, 
except  in  one  instance — namely,  when  he  ^^^^^*°° 
preached  his  opening  sermon  in  the  syna-  out^ofthe 
gogue.  On  all  other  occasions  he  took  his 
texts  out  of  life.  And  what  a  commentary 
is  this  fact  upon  those  who  say  that  we 
must  not  bring  anything  into  the  pulpit  out 
of  ordinary  daily  life,  or  anything  which  is 
not  taken  out  of  the  Bible — a  notion  which 
is  anti-Christian,  and  against  the  example 
of  Christ,  as  well  as  against  common  sense  ! 
— Eve7ting  Sermon^  Ja^iuary  15,  i860. 


Bible 


I 


LOVE  to  see  a  strong  man,  and  hear 
his  voice  in  prayer.     I  like  to  hear  a      Thin, 

•'  lath  men 


healthy  man  sing  songs — a  man  who  is  a 

strong  worker,   a   strong   thinker,   a   man 

279 


Thin, 


497  Pulpit  Pungencies  498 

inside  and  out.  I  love  to  see  the  union  of 
the  spiritual  and  the  physical.  But  these 
laA  men  thiu,  lath  men — these  long-drawn-out  men, 
who  have  no  industry,  no  work,  no  life  at 
home — I  never  love  to  hear  them  sing,  nor 
pray,  nor  think,  nor  talk.  These  spiritual 
do-nothings,  these  spiritual  busybodies, 
these  religious  flies,  going  about  into  every 
house,  in  at  every  window — buzz,  buzz, 
buzz — in  at  every  chamber  and  every  apart- 
ment— these  miserable  inse6ls  of  devotion 
are  good  for  nothing. — Morning  Sermon^ 
July  17,  1859. 

IF  a  pirate,  or  worse,    the   master  of  a 
slave-ship,  has  made  a  good  thinp^  of 

THing  ^  ^  ^^ 

his  unlawful  traffic,  I  do  not  see  why  he 
should  reludtate  about  going  into  a  lawful 
traffic  on  the  ocean,  because  he  does  not 
know  what  the  ocean  will  do  to  him.  I 
have  seen  men  work  ten  times  as  hard  to 
be  villains,  as  they  would  have  been  obliged 
to  work  to  be  honest  men.  The  greatest 
slaves  I  know  anything  about,  are  those 
whom  the  devil  has  got  the  upper  hand  of, 
280 


498  Pulpit   Pungencies  500 

and  whom  he  is  compeUing  to  dodge 
between  the  supreme  law  of  God  and  their 
worldly  prosperity. — Morning  Sermon,  De- 
cember 18,  1859. 


THE   conscience  of  commerce  is  both 
wise  and  true  to  itself;  but  the  con-     \^^^ 
science  of  Christianity   is   rather  a   queer 
thing,  as  the  world  goes. — Mornijig  Sennon, 
Jidy  16,  1859. 


G 


ENIUS  is  immortal.     Like  stars,  it  is 
not  darkened  by  use,  nor  extinguish- 


ed by  time.  The  stars  which  shone  over  ThbJ 
Eden  hang  over  our  dwellings  yet  ;  and  the 
works  of  genius,  as  far  back  as  there  is  any 
record  of  them,  are  just  as  fresh  and  just  as 
bright  at  this  time  as  they  were  at  the 
beginning.  But  wealth,  though  it  is  in- 
tenser  at  the  time,  is  only  short-lived.  It 
is  hard  to  get,  harder  to  keep,  and  hardest 
to  transmit.  And  although  it  has  a  power 
to  develop  and  to  stimulate,  it  is  not  a  safe 
thing  for  a  man  to  rely  upon,  or  to  pride 
281 


500  Pulpit  Pungencies  502 

himself    in. — Morning    Sermon,     ynly    lO, 
1859. 


I 


have  seen  persons  that  I  thought  were 
rpj^g  —  benefited  by  going  into  the  Cathohc 
Thing  (^huj-ch  ;  not  because  they  accepted  the 
creed  of  that  Church,  but  because  they 
required  to  be  led  by  so  many  visible  things. 
They  needed  the  support  of  authority,  and 
they  got  authority  enough  there.  They 
leaned  upon  it,  It  was  the  medicine  they 
needed,  and  it  seemed  to  do  them  good. 
They  seemed  to  be  made  better  by  it.  And 
that  which  makes  a  man  good  is  the  thing 
for  him. — Evening  Sermon,  November  6, 
1859. 

\T  THEN  you  do  a  scrupulously  honor- 

*  *        able  thing,  where  you  could  do  the 

The  other   other  thing  without  blame  of  men,  and  do 

Thing         ^  °  ' 

it  in  such  a  way  that  men  know  that  you 
are  a6ling  from  principle,  you  preach  in  a 
language  that  money-brokers  can  under- 
stand better  than  any  other  in  the  world. 
I  might  preach  the  do6lrine  of  Christ  to 
282 


502  Pulpit    Pungencies  504 

them  week  in  and  week  out,  and  not  come 
so  near  to  their  conscience  as  you  could  by- 
one  honest  a6l  done  from  the  force  of 
Christian  principle,  where  you  might  have 
done  the  other  thing  with  impunity.  So 
you  had  better  stay  and  preach  the  Gospel 
where  your  business  is. — Evening  Sermon^ 
January  15,  i860. 


A 


MAN'S  clothes   are    a   part    of   his 
earthly  life.     He  is  never  at  liberty 


to  lay  them  aside.  He  may  change  their  The 
day-form  for  a  night-form  ;  he  may  change  Thing 
their  kind  for  winter  or  for  summer  use  ;  he 
may  change  their  fashion,  their  form,  and 
their  decorations  ;  but  the  substantial  thing 
clings  to  him  as  a  part  of  his  inevitable  life 
— that  he  must  be  clothed. — Morning  Ser- 
mon, February  5,  i860. 


^  I  ^HERE  are  a  great  many  hymns  that 

-■-       tell  us  to  praise  God,  and  that  tell  us    "^^^y^^ 
about  praising  him  ;  but  how  few  hymns  of       '^^^^ 
uninspired  writers  contain  the  very  thing 
283 


504  Pulpit  Pungencies  506 

itself,  and  burst  forth  in  high  jubilation. — 
Morning  Sermon y  November  6,  1859. 


GOD,  who  loves  us  so  well,  will  no  more 
permit  us  to  mark  out   the   things 
Suchlike    which  we  are  to  have,  than  a  parent  will 

Things 

say  to  a  child,  "  What  do  you  want  ? "  and 
then  promise  to  give  it  what  it  asks  for. 
It  would  want  the  razors,  the  tempting 
bottles  of  medicine,  the  wine  and  brandy, 
( till  it  had  tasted  them ! )  and  such  like 
things.  —  Evening  Sermon,  February  10, 
i860. 


N 


OW  the  power  of  this  world  to  teach 
us    of  God,   and   to  bring  us    into 

Thinking  .  .  ,    .  .  ,  ,  -' 

out  of  our   communion  with  him,  is  not  to  be  rendered 

windows 

available  to  us  by  an  occasional  meditation 
upon  it,  nor  by  reading  a  chaper  of  Her- 
veys  Meditations,  or  anybody  else's  medita- 
tions ;  nor  by  thinking,  now  and  then,  out 
of  our  windows,  on  Sundays,  at  the  world. 
— Morning  Sermon,  yidy  3,  1859. 
284 


507  Ptilpit  Pungeitcies  509 


o 


RDINARILY    speaking,    men    who 
drink  begin   simply  to  add  a  little 


fuel  to  their  energies,  to  raise  a  little  steam      hours 

^  nut  of  the 

for  the   purposes  of  business.     They  can        ^\ 
only  work  twenty-four  hours  out  of  twenty- 
four,  and  they  want  to  work  thirty-six ! — 
Evening  Sermon^  March  4,  1 860. 

THERE  are  personal  friends  who  will 
see  in  you,  day  by  day,  things  that 

Thev  will 

will  make  them  doubt  whether  you  are  an     behind 

your  back, 

honest  man,  but  who  wont  speak  to  you  Though 
about  them.  They  will  talk  about  them 
behind  your  back,  though.  They  will  say, 
one  to  another,  after  having  noticed  some 
inconsistency  in  your  chara6ler,  "  What  do 
y^ou  suppose  happened.?"  and  they  will 
laugh  among  themselves  at  your  expense.  • 
They  will  say,  "  He  is  a  Christian — a  mem- 
ber of  the  church,  you  know." — Morning 
Sermon,  March  27,  1859. 

I     SUPPOSE   there   never  was   a   man 
equal    to    Paul  —  not    even     Moses. 
When  I  discourse  about  Moses  I  am  sure 
285 


509  Pulpit  Pungencies  510 

that  he  is  the  greatest  man  that  ever  lived  ; 
and  when  I  discourse  about  Paul,  I  know 

in'^e^^en^   that  he  is  the  greatest  man  that  ever  lived. 

prophets  Let  these  two  men  stand  side  by  side. 
They  are  fit  brothers,  the  one  as  a  repre- 
sentative of  the  old  dispensation,  the 
other  as  a  representative  of  the  new  dispen- 
sation ;  the  one  a  leader  in  the  reign  of 
muscle  ;  the  other  a  leader  in  the  reign  of 
the  spirit.  These  two  men  stand  head  and 
shoulders  above  any  other  men  that  ever 
lived  since  the  time  of  Christ.  Indeed, 
they  are  more  than  all  the  other  men  that 
have  lived  since  that  time,  throwing  in 
even  the  prophets. — Morning  Sermon,  May 
22,  1859. 


Thump 


T' 


HERE  are  a  million  natural  laws  of 
v/hich  we  know   nothing.     We   are 
g         gradually   learning   them,   as   we  find  out 
feehng     ^^r^erc  beams  are  in  the  dark — by  feeling  a 
thump,  by  discovering  that  there  is  some- 
thing in  the  way. — Morning  Sermon,  Jan- 
uary  15,  i860. 

286 


511  Ptipit   Pungencies  512 

ONE   of    the    most   pitiable   things,    I 
think,  is  to  see  Christians  of  differ- 

.  Equal 

ent  churches  sharp  as  a  sword,  and  running  Thwacks 
at  each  other — to  see,  for  instance,  the  Bap- 
tists coming  down  upon  the  Presbyterians, 
and  the  Presbyterians  giving  back  equal 
thwacks  upon  the  Baptists,  and  both  of 
these  denominations  bombarding  the  Epis- 
copalians. —  Morning  Sermon,  May  29, 
1859. 

DON'T  come  to  me  with  the  question 
of  moral  agency.  Is  not  a  man  able  ^^^^^^^ 
to  perform  all  that  God  commands  ?  Yes,  Tidket 
he  is,  as  regards  the  abstra6l  question. 
You  take  a  man  driving  up  Broadway  with 
a  nimble  team  when  the  street  is  choked 
and  packed  with  omnibuses  and  wagons, 
and  ask  him,  "Are  you  able  to  see  that 
omnibus  and  that  wagon,  etc.  ?  Have  you 
confidence  enough  to  steer  your  buggy 
through  them  all .?  "  Yes,  he  says,  in  this 
particular  instance  ;  but  there  are  fifty  men, 
and  behind  them  are  still  more  which  I  can- 
not see,  and  so  a  man  must  go  through  all 
287 


512  Pulpit   Pttngencies  513 

these  without  grazing  or  striking  anywhere, 

or  what  is  more,  being  struck   anywhere. 

his       That  is  but  one,  but  these  are  all  combined. 

Ticket 

Take  man,  full  of  selfishness  and  pride  as  he 
is,  with  the  pressure  of  care  upon  him,  and 
is  it  so  easy  to  carry  himself  in  the  perfe6l 
justice  and  equity  and  love  that  is  required 
in  the  Christian  life .''  Whether  I  can  or 
can  not,  I  don't,  and  you  don't  and  won't. 
There  is  no  man  on  the  face  of  the  earth 
who  can  go  safely  through  the  battle  of 
life,  fight  his  way  to  Heaven's  gate,  and 
present  his  ticket  and  say,  "  I  have  won 
the  fight,  and  now  I  want  my  reward." — 
Evening  Sermon^  May  21,  1859. 


T 


HERE  is  an  impression  among  men 
that  Christ  has  made  an  atonement, 
Tickft  and  he  is  in  heaven  ready  to  receive  all 
who  obey  him.  Their  view  of  it  is,  that  a 
certain  way  has  been  opened  up  by  the 
atonement  of  Christ,  and  if  they  can  only 
find  it,  they  can  go  straight  to  the  gates  of 
heaven  and  present  their  ticket,  and  Christ 
says,  "  Here  is  a  man  got  here  the  right 
288 


513  Ptilpit    Pungencies  515 

way,  brought  the  right  ticket,  countersigned 
Faith,  and  all  that,  and  he  must  be  admit- 
ted."— Evening  Sermon,  May  29,  1859. 


ALWAYS  reason  up,  never  down. 
Under  any  circumstances,  never 
allow  yourselves  to  say,  "  But  may  I  not  do  Tied 
this?"  Never  say  to  yourself:  "  Has  not 
this  been  tied  too  tight  ? "  I  Bay  a  man 
who  is  just  as  good  as  the  law  makes  him, 
is  a  mean  man.  —  Evening  Serinoiiy  ytme 
12,  1859. 


THERE  never  was  a  fence  that  would 
keep  moles  and  vermin  out  of  a  praaicai 
man's  farm  ;  and  there  never  was  a  fence 
that  would  keep  hawks  off  from  it.  Birds 
will  fly  over  any  fence  he  can  build.  The 
best  thing  a  farmer  can  do  is  to  take  care 
of  his  soil,  so  as  to  have  a  harvest  so 
rich  that  he  will  be  able  to  spare  a  little  to 
vermin  and  birds.  No  man  ever  had  a  con- 
fession of  faith  or  system  of  do6lrine  that 
would  keep  out  the  moles  or  the  birds  of 
the  air.  The  only  safe  way  is  to  have  such 
289 


Tilth 

in 

the  church 


515  Pttlpit   Ptingencies  517 

pra6lical  tilth  in  the  church,  that  it  does 
not  make  much  difference  if  it  is  stolen 
from. — Evening  Sermon^  October'  16,  1859. 


I 


THINK  we  must  judge  of  human  cha- 
ra6ler  as  men  do  of  timber.     I  do  not 
Charaaer   carc  what  a  man's  chara6ler  may  be,  the 

and 

Timber  effccl  upon  it  of  his  telling  a  lie  is  what  a 
worm  channel  is  in  a  sill  of  oak.  When  a 
stick  of  timber  has  one  worm  channel  run- 
ning through  it,  it  may  be  a  strong  stick  of 
timber  yet,  but  it  is  weakened  some.  When 
it  comes  to  have  two  or  three  of  these 
channels  running  through  it,  it  is  good  for 
nothing. — Morning  Sermon,  Jnne  26,  1859. 


w 


ITH  many  men  the  question  is  not 
whether    they    can   be   overcome, 
Timber    ^^^  ^^  what  pressure  they  can  be  overcome, 
be  broken   All  picccs  of  timber  may  be  broken.    Some 
will  bear  a  ton,  some  ten  tons,  some  a  hun- 
dred  tons,  and  some  a  thousand  tons,  but 
there  is    a   point   at  which    the   strongest 
piece  of  timber  will  break.     And  we  must 
not  be  in  a  hurry,  when  a  man  falls,  to  say, 
290 


517  Pulpit  Ptinge^tcies  519 

"  That  man  was  a  corrupt  old  hypocrite." — 
Evening  Sermon,  December  ^,  1859. 


PAUL  says  :  "  For  even  when  we  were 
with  you,  this  we  commanded  you, 
that  if  any  would  not  work,  neither  should  xm\^&\ 
he  eat."  What  a  time  there  would  be  in 
New  York  if  this  should  be  enforced  now  ! 
— Evening  Sermojiy  July  17,  1859. 


YOU  would  think  to  look  at  that  bell 
up  in  the  belfry,  "  Oh,  such  a  bell, 
lifted  up  so  high,  it  only  needs  that  some 
one  should  pull  the  rope  to  make  it  sound  "^'^  p^^  ' 
gloriously  through  the  air  !  "  Well,  pull  the 
rope  ;  it  sounds  for  all  the  world  like  a  tin 
pan  !  It  is  cracked.  I  see  men  in  the  old 
belfry  of  prosperity ;  and  other  men  are 
looking  up  at  them  and  saying,  "  Oh,  how 
happy  they  must  be  !  "  Well,  ring  them, 
'and  see  how  they  sound. — Evening  Sermon, 
February  10,  i860. 

291 


For  all  the 
world  like 


520  Pulpit  Pungencies  521 

'X  T /"HERE  you  hear  a  young  man  who 

'^  *        is  torpid  as  a  toad  in  his  higher 

°^l  ^^    nature,    savins:,    "  It   makes   no    difference 

Toad  '  ^       &' 

what  you  are  morally, '  it  is  easy  to  predict 
what  kind  of  a  man  he  will  make. — Morn- 
ing Sermon,  May  8,  1859. 


w 


HEN  men  are  looking  upon  the  field 
of  life,  they  say  oftentimes,  ''  Here 
Toad-stool  are  persons  that  have  retired  from  the  tur- 

just  ^ 

as  good !  niQii  Qf  life  J  they  can  serve  God.  Here  is 
this  sister  of  mine,  that  walks  aside  from 
life,  and  knows  nothing  of  its  storms,  and 
on  whom  God's  mercies  descend  like  dews, 
unasked :  she  can  be  a  saint.  She  can 
serve  God  a  great  deal  better  than  I,  that 
am  sent  down  into  the  midst  of  the  torna- 
does of  tropical  temptation  1 "  Suppose 
that  a  recluse  had  been  discovered  living 
alone  on  the  side  of  the  Alleghany  moun- 
tains, in  the  times  of  the  Revolution,  and 
one  of  the  soldiers,  speaking  to  General 
Washington  of  him,  had  said,  "  That  man 
— oh,  what  a  patriot  he  can  be  in  his  cabin, 
meditating  upon  his  country's  glory  !  If 
292 


521  Pulpit  Pungencies  522 

he  was  down  in  the  camp,  amid  the  roar 
of  battle,  or  on  the  tedious  march,  he  could 
not  be  a  patriot ! "  What  do  you  think 
about  that  ?  Would  you  not  say  of  a 
patriot  on  the  side  of  a  mountain,  that  a 
toad  -  stool  or  a  mushroom  was  just  as 
good? — Evening  Sermon,  yaniiary  15,  i860. 


C^  EOLOGISTS  sometimes  find  toads 
^  sealed  up  in  rocks.  They  crept  in 
during  the  formation  periods,  and  deposits 
closed  the  orifice  through  which  they  en- 
tered. There  they  remain,  in  long  dark- 
ness and  toad  stupidity,  till  some  chance 
blast  or  stroke  sets  them  free.  And  there 
are  many  rich  men  sealed  up  in  mountains 
of  gold  in  the  same  way.  If,  in  the  midst 
of  some  convulsion  in  the  community,  one 
of  these  mountains  is  overturned,  some- 
thing crawls  out  into  life  which  is  called 
a  man  ! — Evening  Sermon ,  yanuary  15, 
i860. 


293 


Geological 

Toads 

and 

rich  men 


Too  bad 


523  Ptilpit  Pu7tgencics  524 

MY  father  used  to  make  me  believe 
that  the  end  of  the  rod  that  he 
held  in  his  hand  was  a  great  deal  more 
painful  to  him  than  the  end  which  I  felt 
was  to  me.  It  was  a  strange  mystery  to 
me,  but  I  did  believe  it ;  and  it  seemed  a 
great  deal  worse  to  me  to  be  whipped  on 
that  account.  I  used  to  think  that  if  he 
would  not  talk  to  me,  but  would  whip  me, 
I  could  stand  it  a  great  deal  better.  So  I 
could  have  stood  it  better,  and  not  been 
benefited.  For  a  child  is  not  whipped  till 
the  sensation  goes  to  the  heart,  and  touches 
the  feeling.  But  when  my  father  made  me 
cry  by  talking  to  me,  and  then  whipped 
me,  and  then  made  me  cry  by  talking  to 
me  again,  I  thought  it  was  too  bad.  — 
Evening  Sermon,  February  26,  i860. 


M 


OST    persons    suppose    that    their 
pains  are  keener  and  more  un en- 
Tooth^   durable  than  other  people's.      They  think 

can  ache  ^      •  ^ 

like  theirs   that  uobody  s  tooth  can  ache  as  their  tooth 
aches  ;  that  nobody  can  be  afifli6led  with 
such  rheumatism  as  they  are  afflifted  with  ; 
294 


524  Pulpit   Pungencies  525 

that  there  never  was  another  case  of  gout 
Hke  theirs ;  and   that   no   fever   was   ever 

...  Nobody's 

known  which  would    compare    with    that     Tooth 

■^  can  ache 

which  they  have.  They  are  aaually  proud  like  theirs 
of  their  maladies.  There  are  persons  who 
think  no  one  else  ever  was  so  extremely 
sensitive  as  they  are,  and  that  no  one  else 
ever  suffered  as  they  suffer.  You  greatly 
offend  them  if  you  tell  them  that  you  sup- 
pose other  people  have  probably  suffered  as 
much  as  they  do. — Morning  Sermon,  July 
24,  1859. 


OW  this  whole  spirit  which  tends  to 
make  men  look  upon  those  about 


The 


N 

them,  and  say,  "  Stand  lower,  stand  lower.  Top  of  the 

r^y  family 

Stand  lower,"  is  of  the.  earth  earthy.  The  ^js^jn^^^ 
elder  brother  knows  that  his  sister  is  lower 
than  he  in  years  ;  and  she  knows  that  in 
this  respecl  the  one  next  younger  is  lower 
than  she.  But  everybody  knows  that  the 
top  of  the  family  is  in  the  qx2.^\q.— Morning 
Sermon,  May  ^,  1859. 
295 


526  Ptilpit    Pungencies  527 

I    NOTICE  that  the  lowest  natures  need 
the  most  beauty  in  this  world.     What 
would  a  miser  marry  a  woman  for  ?     Yon 


Drilled 

into 

and  never 

Touched    take  one  of  those  hard  men — granite  mto 

water 

which  you  have  drilled,  and  never  touched 
water ;  whom  you  stumble  over  and  break 
in  pieces  ;  who  falls  upon  you  and  bruises 
you.  You  go  from  him,  and  return  in  ten 
years,  you  find  him  just  as  hard.  But  you 
speak  of  his  family,  and  he  is  ready  to  wor- 
ship you.  What's  the  change  .^  He  has 
been  married  five  years.  You  instantly 
desire  to  see  the  woman  who  could  awaken 
love  in  such  a  breast. — Morning  Sermon, 
yanuary  2,  1859. 

YOU  that  are  strong  are  to  help  that 
man  who  cannot  control  his  temper  ; 
Touth     his  skin  and  your  skin  may  be  different ; 
madrtender  it  may  be  that  you  are  made  tough,  while 
he  is  made  very  tender.     If  he  does  not 
know  how  to  hold  himself,  do  you  help  him 
to  hold  himself;   if  he  cannot   extinguish 
the  conflagration  that  tends  to  break  out, 
do  you  bring  the  engine  of  your  sympathy 
296 


527  Pulpit  Ptingencies  530 

and  help  him  to  put  out  the  fire. — Evening 
Sermon,  Jnne  26,  1859. 

HE   was   as    tender   as    a   woman — or 
rather,  I  should  have  said,  he  lack-       ^he 
ed  the  tougihness  of  a  woman  ;  for,  slender     °ofa'' 

°  1  Ul  woman 

and  shrinking  as  women  are,  when  troubles 
come  they  are  almost  the  only  persons  who 
are  tough  of  heart.  They  are  tender  of 
skin,  but  inside  they  are  as  strong  as  iron. 
— Morning  Sermon,  Jnne  12,  1859. 


I 


The 


SUPPOSE  there  is  a  great  deal  in  stock. 
I  suppose  that  some  men  are  born 
honest  men.  You  would  have  to  begin  original 
and  untwist  the  skein  to  the  original  tow 
before  you  could  weaken  their  honesty. — 
Evening  Sermon,  February  10,  i860. 

A  MAN  from  Rome  desires  to  give  me 
some  conception  of  Raphael's  last  R^p^^ers 
and  greatest  work,  the  Transfiguration.  In  Jmtiof 
order  to  give  me  as  accurate  an  idea  of  it 
as  possible,  he  says  :  (I  give  imagined  num- 
bers) "  It  is  twenty  feet  high,  and  fifteen 
297 


uration 


530  Pulpit  Pungencies  530 

feet  wide.  It  is  painted  upon  canvas.  The 
canvas  itself  is  made  of  linen.  There  was 
Transfig-  first  laid  on  a  sort  of  dead  ground.  This 
w^as  the  foundation  on  which  the  pi61ure 
was  painted.  In  the  centre  is  a  mountain, 
which  divides  the  pidlure  into  upper  and 
lower  parts.  Below  the  mountain  is  a 
scene  representing  Christ  casting  out 
devils.  Above  it  is  the  Transfiguration, 
which,  having  given  a  general  description 
of  the  pi61ure  in  other  respecls,  I  will  now 
proceed  to  describe  to  you  in  detail."  So 
he  takes  out  from  his  pack  a  bundle  with 
a  number  of  little  carefully-folded  papers  in 
it.  He  opens  them  successively.  The  first 
contains  the  blue  pigment ;  the  second,  the 
chrome  pigment ;  the  third,  the  ochre  ;  the 
fourth,  the  burnt  umber.  After  he  has 
exhibited  them  all,  he  says,  "  There  are  all 
the  elements  of  the  pi6lure.  I  scraped 
them  off  from  it  myself  Now  you  have  a 
philosophical  view  of  the  Transfiguration 
of  Raphael.  Just  bear  in  mind  the  dimen- 
sions of  the  pi6lure,  that  it  is  made  on  can- 
vas, that  there  is  a  mountain  in  the  centre, 
298 


530  Ptilpit    Pungencies  532 

and  that  there  is  one  group  above  and  an- 
other below  ;  and  then  conceive  how  these 
elements  should  be  put  together  to  make  a 
most  splendid  pi6lure,  and  you  have  as 
good  an  idea  of  it  as  though  you  were  to  go 
to  Rome  to  see  it."  I  have  no  doubt  of  it. 
— Morning  Sermon,  February  27,  1859. 


D 


O  you  suppose  that  religion  is  like  a 
bird  in  a  cage,  and  that  you  can  lock 


Different 

it  up  in  the  church,  and  that  the  keeper  will  Translations 
take  care  of  it,  and  feed  it,  and  have  it  ready 
to  sing  for  you  whenever  you  choose  to  come 
here  and  listen  to  it  ?  Is  that  your  idea 
of  religion  ?  Very  well,  then  ;  your  Bible 
and  mine  are  different.  We  read  different 
translations  ! — Morning  Serino7t,  February 
8,  i860. 


SOMETIMES  government  is  lax  at  first, 
but  increases  with  the  necessities  of 
the  growing  family.     But  oftener,  I  think,      dousiy 

•"^  governed 

parents  are  in   the  beginning  full  of  wise 

resolutions  of  government,   and    the    first 

299 


532  Pulpit   Pungencies  534 

boy   or   girl   is   tremendously  governed. — 
Evening  Sermon,  Febrnary  26,  i860. 

FOR  when  God  brings  men  into  this 
world  in  a  crude  state,  as  sand  and 
hammer  ^clp  are  brought  into  the  manufa6lory ;  or 
when,  like  crude  iron,  they  are  subje6led  to 
the  transforming  influences  of  this  trip- 
hammer life,  by  which  they  are  thumped, 
and  jammed,  and  cut,  and  haggled,  and 
pricked,  and  bruised,  he  does  it  that  moral 
results  may  be  evolved  on  a  large  scale. — 
Morning  Sermon,  September  2^,  1859. 


life 


H 


UMAN   life  is   much  like  road  life. 

You  stand  on  a  hill,  and  look  down 

'^be'tt^r^    and   across    the   valley,    and   another   pro- 

Trotdown  ^igious  hill  lifts  itsclf  up  on  the  other  side. 

The  day  is  hot,  your  horse  is  weary,  and 

you  are  tired  ;  and  it  seems  to  you  that  you 

cannot  climb  that  long  hill.     But  you  had 

better  trot  down  the  hill  3'ou  are  on,  and 

not  trouble   yourself  about  the  other  one. 

You  find  the  valley  pleasant  and  inspiriting, 

When  you  get  across  it,  you  meet  only  a 

300 


534  Ptdpit  Ptingencies  536 

slight  ascent,  and  begin  to  wonder  where 
the  steep  hill  is  which  you  saw.  You  drive 
along  briskly,  and  when  you  reach  the 
highest  point,  you  find  that  there  has  not 
been  an  inch  of  the  hill  over  which  you 
have  not  iroit^d.-— Morning  Seunon^  Decem- 
ber 18,  1859. 

MANY  persons  trust  God  just  as  many 
cities  light  their  streets,  which,  Trust 
when  the  moon  shines  brightly,  are  very 
particular  to  light  all  their  gas-lights  ;  but 
which,  when  the  moon  is  gone,  negle6l  to 
light  them  at  all.  I  have  seen  men  who, 
when  in  prosperity,  were  strong  in  their 
trust  in  God,  but  who,  when  surrounded  by 
adverse  circumstances,  had  no  trust  in  God 
or  anything  else. — Mojndng  Sermon,  April 
10,  1859. 

IT  will  not  be  long  after  you  return  to 
your   own    households   before    some- 
thing will  go  wrong,  and  you  will  get  hold    ^"^'^ 
of  the  wrong  handle.     Then  will  be  your 
time  to  say,  "  Let  me  try  on  the  sermon." 
301 


and  gas 

Moonshine 

and 
prosperity 


536  Pzilpit   Pungencies  538 

Do  try  it  on.  Try  it  a  month — that  is  not 
long  to  wear  a  garment — and  see  if  it  is  not 
the  truth  that  I  have  been  teUing  you. — 
Morning  Sermon,  Angus t  14,  1859. 


E 


men 


VERY  executive  man  should  be  like 
those  little  tug-boats  which  come 
Tug-boat  down  the  North  River  with  three  or  four 
barges  on  each  side,  and  with  other  barges 
attached  to  them,  till  for  half  a  mile  almost 
the  river  is  covered  with  the  barges  which 
they  are  carrying.  Now,  when  God  has 
given  great  executive  power  to  a  person,  he 
is  to  be  a  tow,  and  to  take  down  the  stream 
hundreds  of  those  blunt-bowed,  slow-saihng 
barges. — Evening  Sermon,  yune  26,  1859. 


D 


,0  not  look  at  the  dark  side  of  things, 
but   at    the    bright    side.      Do   not 
Tump      scratch   the  face  of   your    affairs    and  dis- 

you 

outmtothe  fiprurc    them,    but   smooth  them  off  by  re- 
street        ^  '  ■' 

cognizing  the  good  that  is  in  them.  Even 
a  man  in  a  dungeon  finds  it  pleasant  to 
make  pictures  and  to  write  on  the  wall 
with  a  coal  or  a  piece  of  chalk.  Instead 
302 


53B  Pulpit    Pungencies  539 


of    making    your     adverse    circumstances 
more  murky  by  brooding  over  them,    and 

"1  1  Tump 

repinino-  on   account  of  tliem,   iight   them       you 

J-  ^  .  oat  into  the 

up  with  a  cheerful,  radiant  spirit.  Be  ^ti-^et 
content,  and  remember  that  God  says, 
"  I  will  never  leave  thee  nor  forsake 
thee  ;  "  so  that  you  may  boldly  say,  "  The 
Lord  is  my  helper,  and  I  will  not  fear 
what  man  shall  do  unto  me."  Did  he 
say  that  if  you  did  not  pay  up  your  rent 
before  Saturday  night,  he  would  tump  you 
out  into  the  street }  You  need  not  fear, 
for  God  is  owner  of  owners. — Morning 
Sermon,  Jnne  5,  1859. 

HAVE  you  ever  heard  a  man  bring  a 
harp    into    tune  t      He    takes   his      • 
fork,    and    gets    the    concert-pitch   in    one     vanhy'' 

.  -^        must  be 

chord.  Then  he  goes  to  work  to  brmg  all  Tuned  up 
the  other  chords  to  the  same  pitch.  And 
such  a  groaning  and  complaining  as  en- 
sues cannot  be  imagined  by  one  who  has 
never  heard  it.  The  process  of  chording 
a  harp  and  a  heart  are  very  much  alike. 
This  groaning  and  complaining  continues 
303 


539  Pulpit   Pungencies  540 

till  every  chord  is  brought  to  the  concert- 
pitch,  and  then  the  harp  gives  forth  but 
vanify  oiic  sluglc  hamionious  impulse,  and  the 
Tuned  up  soul  of  music  is  thcrc.  And  so  the  chords 
of  a  man's  soul  need  to  be  brought  into 
unison  with  love,  for  from  that  must  all 
powers  take  their  pitch.  Pride  and  vanity, 
and  every  other  instin6l  of  the  soul,  must 
be  tuned  up  till  their  vibrations  are  con- 
sonant with  those  of  love. — Morning  Ser- 
mony  February  5,  i860. 


NOW  I  see  men  who  began  away  back 
at  ten  and  fifteen  years  of  age,  in- 
dulging all  the  passions  and  appetites  of 
the  physical,  at  the  expense  of  their  souls  ; 
every  nerve  rebels  ;  the  stomach  quarrels 
with  the  whole  system.  At  last  a  child 
dies  ;  and  just  as  though  the  child  did  not 
inherit  the  vile  leprosy  of  the  father  !  They 
lay  plans  with  their  rickety  consciences, 
and  they  fall ;  success  flies  from  their  stag- 
gering reach,  and  they  turn  to  and  go  to 
cursing  Providence.  —  Morning  SermoUy 
January  9,  1859. 

304 


Turn  to 
and  go  to 

cursing 
Providence 


541  Ptilpit   Pungencies  542 


w 


E   know   what   is    the   dire6lion    in 
which  we  are  to  grow,  and   what 


struck 


are  the  materials  out  of  which  our  growth  i?"n*^^g 
must  come.  "  Thou  shalt  love  the  Lord  ^^^"^ 
thy  God  with  all  thy  heart,  and  mind,  and 
soul,  and  strength,  and  thy  neighbor  as 
thyself."  Here  is  God's  highway.  We 
have  got  on  the  turnpike  road. — Morning 
Sermon^  April  2 d^,  1859. 

WHEN  a  man  says  to  me,  "  I  was  in 
the  great  revival  of  1856,  and  oh 
for  more  than  a  week,  I  was  like  a  man  thedock 
hung  over  perdition  ;  and  one  night  I  pray- 
ed, and  prayed,  and  prayed,  and  was  in 
such  distress  of  mind  that  I  could  get  no 
sleep ;  and  just  as  the  clock  struck  twelve, 
there  suddenly  came  a  divine  light  to  my 
soul,  which  deluged  it  with  very  joy,  and  I 
have  been  a  Christian  ever  since," — when  a 
man  says  this  to  me,  and  I  find,  on  inquiry, 
that  he  is  very  selfish,  and  very  passionate, 
and  very  niggardly,  and  very  worldly,  I  do 
not  believe  that  he  is  a  Christian,  just  be- 
cause he  can  put  his  finger  on  twelve 
305 


542  Pulpit   Ptmgencies  544 

o'clock  at  night,  in  the  month  of  June  in  a 
certain  year,  and  say,  ''That  is  the  time 
when  I  was  converted." — Morning  Sermon, 
May  29,  1859. 


T 


'HE  effe6l  of  things  in  this  world  upon 
us  depends  upon  the  way  we  look  at 
$20,000  ti^em.  Here  is  a  man  who  says,  "  Money, 
be  thou  my  God."  And  his  God  grows 
with  him  every  year,  till  it  grows  up  to 
twenty  thousand  dollars.  Then  comes  a 
God-destroyer  m  the  shape  of  a  financial 
revulsion,  and  knocks  his  God  to  pieces  ; 
and  in  bitterness  he  exclaims,  "  They  have 
taken  away  my  God." — Morning  Sermoity 
ynne  12,  1859. 


B 


UT  I  cannot  give  half  the  apphcations 

^.j^        —       I    had    intended    to    give.     I    have 

Twilight    enough   noted  down    to   keep   me   talking 

till  twilight. — Morning  Sermon,  April  24, 

1859. 


306 


545  Pulpit  Pungencies  547 


I- 


SAY  when  a  person  becomes  a  Chris- 
tian,  that    he   loses    nothing  that  he 


A 


should  not  be  afraid  to  keep.     If  ever  you    Twiiight- 

faced, 

are  iroins:  to  be  a  Christian,  don't  set  out  to     bat-iike 

&         &  Christian 

be  a  gloomy-eyed,  twilight-faced,  bat-like 
Christian. — Evening  Sermon,  yiuie  12, 
1859. 


D 


O  you  not  know  that   wljen    Dudley 
Tyng    died   like    Samson,    he    slew 


1     •  1       •  11    1   •       IT         Dudley 

more  than  he  had  slam  durmg  all  his  me      xyng 

and 

before }  Do  you  not  know  that  Christ  Christ 
achieved  his  greatest  vi6lory  when  he  died 
upon  the  cross  }  Do  you  not  know  that  the 
way  for  men  to  build  themselves  up  is  to 
be  ground  to  powder } — Morning  Sermon, 
May  22,  1859. 


M 


EN  cannot  do  anything  in   marble, 
or  on  canvas,  and  not  have  their 


Umbrella' 

name  pronounced  for  two  hundred  years  by  .<  Han^st," 
the  shadow  of  what  they  have  done,  so  that    something 

.       .  ,  of  that  sort 

the  world  knows  them  by  associatmg  tnem 
with  their  works.     But  God,  for  six  thou- 
sand  years,   has   carved    and   painted    as 
307 


547  Ptilpit  Pungencies 


549 


Under- 
draining 


no  man  ever  carved  and  painted,  and  we 
continually  behold  his  works,  and  who  says, 
"  God  ?  "  Morning,  and  noon,  and  even- 
ing come  and  go,  and  how  many  of  us  say, 
"'  God  ?  "  All  the  day  long  the  sun  pours 
down  its  life-giving  rays,  and  who  thinks 
of  anything  but  "  Umbrella,"  or  "  Harvest," 
or  something  of  that  sort  ? — Morning  Ser- 
mon, July  10,  1859. 

SOME  of  you  need  an  immense  amount 
of  under-draining  before  you  can 
plant  anything  and  have  it  grow  on  the 
top. — Morning  Sermon,  July  3,  1859. 


You  have 
:)t  to  go 
Infixed 


got  to  go 

Ui-    ■ 


MAN  thinks  he  is  going  to  find  peace 
by  introspe6lion,  but  that  will 
bring  him  no  peace.  He  seems  to  have  no 
right  to  go  to  Christ  until  he  gets  some- 
thing regulated  here.  Just  as  if  a  poor, 
sick  wretch  should  say,  "  I  will  go  to  the 
do6lor's  as  soon  as  I  get  well ;  it  would  be 
foolish  to  go  before  I  get  well  ;"  or  as  if  a 
Ijian  should  say,  "  I  am  going  to  the  horo- 
logist's  as  soon  as  my  watch  runs  well." 
308 


Unfixed 


549  Ptdpit    Pungencies  550 

The  time  you  need  to  go  to  the  doctor's  is 
when  you  are  sick,  and  you  want  to  take 
your   watch   to   the    horologist's    before    it    You  have 

got  to  go 

runs  well.  Man  says,  "  I  must  wait  till  I 
comply  with  certain  conditions  and  get  fix- 
ed right  before  I  go  to  Christ,  and  then  he 
will  look  upon  me,  and  I  shall  begin  to  feel 
peace."  You  have  got  to  go  to  Christ  un- 
fixed, unregulated,  and  wrong.  —  Evening 
Sermon,  yidy  10,  1859. 


Always 


I  DID  not  dare  to  say,  in  1856,  that  I 
thought  union  prayer-meetings  would 
tend  to  bring  the  different  churches  to-  S^^ 
gether,  for  fear  that  if  they  got  the  idea  know 
that  they  were  being  assimilated,  this  most 
desirable  result  would  be  defeated.  We 
have  always  wanted  union,  you  know.  I 
never  saw  the  time  when  I  would  not  have 
gone  for  a  union  of  the  churches,  if  all 
Christians  would  have  become  Congrega- 
tionalists.  —  Morning  Sermon,  May  29, 
1859. 

309 


Unions 


551  PtUpit   Pungencies  553 

WE  live  in  an  age  in  which  there  is  a 
great  noise  of  fear  of  the  destruc- 
tion of  governments  and  unions.  This 
kind  of  music  has  sounded  ever  since  the 
ark  was  built. — Thanksgiving  Sermon,  No- 
vember 29,  1859. 


F 


love 


OR  myself,  I  know  of  but  one  refuge 
(though  to  the  pure  all  things  are 
Up  and  down  purc),  and  that  is  the  simple  morality  of  the 
New  Testament — that  simple-hearted,  ro- 
bust morality,  with  an  up-and-down  love  of 
right,  and  an  up-and-down  hatred  of  wrong. 
— Evening  Sermon,  May  15,  1859. 


T 


story 


'HE  man  who  trusts  in  God,  lives  in 
the  upper  story  of  his  head  ;  while 
u?p^er     the  man  who  does  not  trust  in  God,  lives 
in  the  lower  story  of  his  head.     The  man 
who    trusts    in    God,  lives  in    an  observa- 
tory, where  he  enjoys  the  sunlight  and  the 
pure  atmosphere  of  heaven  ;  while  the  man 
who  does  not  trust  in  God,  lives  down  in 
a    dank    and    dungeon    cellar.  —  Morning 
Sejinon,  April  10,  1859. 
310 


554  Pulpit    Pungencies  555 

IT   is,  likewise,  to  be   remembered  that 
no  man  has  a  «right  to  prophesy  good 
as    a   consequence    of    deception.      It     is       not 

■^  .  prophesy 

generally  believed  that  we  have  a  right  to  Up-stream 
indulge  in  some  degree  of  equivocation, 
to  make  use  of  partially  deceiving  state- 
ments, to  tell  ornamented  lies,  when  we 
do  these  things  that  good  may  come.  It 
is  generally  believed  that  it  is  benevolent 
and  humane  to  use  deception,  where  it  is 
done  with  a  behef  that  good  will  result 
therefrom.  Now,  I  remark,  no  man  is  a 
prophet ;  and  if  he  wants  to  prophesy^ 
he  had  better  not  prophesy  up-stream 
—  he  had  better  not  prophesy  against 
God's  nature.  If  you  will  prophesy,  pro- 
phesy in  the  dire6lion  that  God's  nature 
runs. — Morning  Sermon,  June  26,  1859. 

IF  any  person  outside  of  our  party  re- 
viles us  Republicans,  we  say,  "  No  RepubHcans 
matter  what  he  says  ;  he  belongs  to  the 
other  party."  If  a  man  outside  the  church 
reviles  Christianity,  or  those  who  profess 
to  be  Christians,  it  is  common  for  those 
311 


555  Pulpit  Pungencies  557 

in  the  church  to  say,  "  Why,  he's  an  in- 
fidel ;  he's  an  unbeUever ;  we  must  not 
mind  what  he  says."  —  Morning  Sermon^ 
March  27,  1859. 


T 


HAT   miserable   varnish  which   men 


Vamish 
religion 

Society  religion ;  that  miserable  estimate  which 
they  make  of  religion,  that  chattering  of 
prayers,  that  face-religion,  that  Sunday- 
keeping  religion  ;  all  that  so-called  religion 
which  is  but  an  external  covering  of  pride 
and  selfishness,  of  worldliness  and  vanity — 
the  curse  and  wrath  of  God  abideth  upon 
it.  Nowhere  else  are  there  such  terrific 
anathemas  against  such  religion  as  those 
which  fell  from  the  lips  of  Christ  Jesus.  It 
is  enough  to  make  a  man  tremble,  to  give  a 
man  the  chills  and  fever,  to  walk  through 
those  chapters  in  the  Bible  where  Christ 
preached  to  Tract  Society  men. — Evening 
Sermon,  yiine  12,  1859. 

God's  union  with  men  is  not  a  shadow, 
is  not  a  figure,  is  not  a  dream  ;  it  is 
312 


557  Ptilpit  Pungencies  559 

the  statement  of  a  facl  as  literal  as  any  law 
in    nature.      The    union    of  sunlight  with    ^with''^ 
vegetables  is  not  more  real. — Morning  Ser-     ^^^^^ 
moUy  March  4,  i860. 


YOU  shall  find  that  they  who  are  free 
from  hardships,  from  troubles,  from 
the   necessity  of  endeavor,  and  who  never      Men 

•'  good  for 

struggled  with  adversity  of  any  kind,  can-  Veneering 
not  be  relied  upon  for  sills  and  posts.  They 
may  do  for  veneering  the  inside,  where  you 
want  something  pretty,  but  they  are  good 
for  nothing  else. — Morning  Sermon,  Sept- 
ember 25,  1859. 


LOVE  sits  as  God's  vicegerent  in  the 
soul,  and  I  will  not  fight  with  my  bre- 
thren. There  is  now  and  then  a  man  who 
is  not  susceptible  to  love,  or  anything  else 
that  is  good,  and  I  deem  it  necessary  to 
exterminate  vermin  wherever  they  may  be 
found  ;  but  I  will  love  all  my  brethren  if 
they  will  let  me. — Morning  Sermon,  May 
29,  1859. 

313 


Vermin 

vs. 
brethren 


Passions 

and 
Vermin 


560  Pulpit  Pungencies  561 

WHEN  ministers,  and  elders,  and 
members  of  the  church,  instead 
of  loving  each  other,  are  seen  wrangling, 
and  quarrelling,  and  railing  at  one  another  ; 
when  they  exhibit  natures  as  full  of  selfish 
passions  as  a  sepulchre  is  of  dust  and  ver- 
min, it  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  scep- 
ticism and  infidelity  are  rife  among  us. — 
Morning  SennoJi,  August  7,  1859. 


SEVENTEEN  men  terrified  two  thou- 
sand brave  Virginians  into  two  days' 
viiguijan  submission, — that  cannot  be  got  over  !  The 
common  sense  of  common  people  will  not 
fail  to  see  through  all  attempts  to  hide  a 
natural  shame  by  a  bungling  make-believe 
that  the  danger  was  really  greater  than  it 
was  !  The  danger  was  nothing — and  the 
fear  very  great,  and  courage  none  at  all. 
And  nothing  can  now  change  the  facts ! 
All  the  newspapers  on  earth  will  not  make 
this  case  appear  any  better.  Do  what  you 
please — muster  a  crowd  of  supposed  con- 
federates, call  the  roll  of  conspirators,  and 
include  the  noblest  men  of  these  States,  and 
314 


courage 

and 

foxes'  tails 


561  Pulpit   Pungencies  561 

exhibit  this  imaginary  army  before  the  peo- 
ple, and,  in  the  end,  it  will  appear  that 
seventeen  white  men  over-awed  a  town  of    Virginian 

courage 

two  thousand  brave  Virginians,  and  held  foxes"taiis 
them  captives  until  the  sun  had  gone  laugh- 
ing twice  around  the  globe  !  And  the  at- 
tempt to  hide  the  fear  of  these  surrounded 
men  by  awaking  a  larger  fear,  will  never 
do.  It  is  too  literal  a  fulfilment,  not 
exadlly  of  Prophecy  but  of  Fable  ;  not  of 
Isaiah,  but  ^sop.  A  fox  having  been 
caught  in  a  trap,  escaped  with  the  loss  of 
his  tail.  He  immediately  went  to  his  bro- 
ther foxes  to  persuade  them  that  they 
would  all  look  better  if  they,  too,  would 
cut  off  their  caudal  appendages.  They 
declined.  And  our  two  thousand  friends 
who  lost  their  courage  in  the  presence  of 
seventeen  men,  are  now  making  an  appeal 
to  this  nation  to  lose  its  courage  too  ;  that 
the  cowardice  of  the  few  may  be  hidden  in 
the  cowardice  of  the  whole  community ! 
It  is  impossible.  We  choose  to  wear  our 
'courage  for  some  time  longer  ! 


315 


562  Pulpit    Pungencies  563 


D 


ID  you  ever  see  a   power-loom  ?     If 
you  never  did,  do  not  go  to  Lowell, 

Power-loom  ^11  i  ^1  • 

ought  to  or  any  other  place  where  there  is  one  in 
operation,  without  seeing  it.  I  never  saw 
one  but  what  I  thought  it  ought  to  vote. — 
Morning  Sermon,  April  2 A^,  1859. 


Vote 


Y 


OU  have  probably  noticed  that  when 
men    walk   across    a   stream    on    a 

When  men 

Walk  on    timber,    if  they  look   at   their  feet  to  see 

a  timber  '  J 

where  they  step,  their  head  begins  to  swim, 
and  very  soon  they  have  to  swim  or  drown  ; 
whel*eas,  if  they  fix  their  eye  upon  a  single 
objeft  on  the  opposite  bank,  and  never  look 
at  their  feet  at  all,  they  reach  the  other  side 
in  safety.  Now,  if  a  man  stands  looking  at 
this  world,  he  gets  dizzy  and  intoxicated, 
and  falls  ;  whereas,  if  he  fixes  his  eye  upon 
the  bank  of  the  eternal  world,  he  walks 
straighter  in  this  world,  and  is  more  sure 
of  reaching  the  other  side  in  safety. — Even- 
ing SermoJZ,  February  10,  i860. 


316 


564  Pulpit   Pttngencies  566 

THE  road   to   heaven   is   just  as  short, 
and  may  be  just  as  sure,  from  Wall 
street  as  from  Trinity  church,  that  stands  waifstreet 
at  the  head   of  it,  holding  up  the  cross  in     heaven 
ever-living  light. — Morning  Sermon^  March 
II,  i860. 


w 


HEN  I  speak  of  being  clothed  with 

the  righteousness  of  Christ,  I  Wardrobe 
banish  all  ideas  of  going  to  some  wardrobe  "^nS"^" 
and  taking  out  a  literal  garment  and  throw- 
ing it  upon  me,  and  especially  do  I  run 
back  to  its  dusty  hole  of  mischief  from 
which  it  has  been  dug  out,  that  notion  of 
the  imputation  of  another's  righteousness, 
as  though  you  could  put  on  another  man's 
righteousness  as  if  it  was  a  physical  thing. 
— Evening  Sermon,  yuly  10,  1859. 


M 


you 


U  T^    /r^j^Y    Magdalen  came    and   told    wa^int 

the  disciples  that  she  had  seen 
the  Lord,  and  that  he  had  spoken  these 
things  unto  her."     But  I'll  warrant  you  she 
317 


566  Pulpit   Pungencies  567 

did  not  tell  them  how  she  felt.  There  were 
no  words  by  which  she  could  have  done 
that. —  Wednesday  Evemng  Lecturey  Febru- 
ary I,  i860. 


w 


HEN  I  find  persons  with  nothing  to 
do  in  life,  persons  who  are  educat- 
Saints     ed,  of  srreat  resources,  of  great  imagination, 

before  they  '  o  o  o 

Washed  ^^  great  affeftion,  great  thinking  powers, 
^^^^'^  very  a6tive,  but  nothing  to  do  ;  too  rich  to 
be  obliged  to  work,  and  placed  in  a  high 
position  in  society  —  (there  is  nothing 
worse) — staying  at  home,  reading  a  great 
deal,  thinking  a  great  deal,  rolling  and 
rolling  over  feelings  a  great  deal  —  when 
such  persons  come  to  me,  my  first  thought 
is,  God  help  them  !  If  the  Lord  in  his 
good  providence  would  only  send  some 
■  dispensation  to  take  away  their  property, 
so  they  would  be  forced  to  work,  so  they 
would  have  to  go  out  to  work  as  the  ser- 
vant girls  do,  go  out  and  wash  for  a  liv- 
ing, most  of  them  would  be  very  happy 
saints  before  they  had  washed  a  year. — 
'     Evening  Sermon,  May  29,  1859. 

318 


alike 


568  Ptilpit  Pungencies  570 

IF  a  man  is  your  enemy,  and  is  in  trou- 
ble, you  are  to  help  him.  If  he  is  a  ^^^^^^^ 
stranger,  and  his  trouble  is  brought  within  wa^i?js 
your  knowledge,  help  him.  If  he  is  a 
foreigner,  and  you  are  a  native,  and  he  is 
in  trouble,  help  him.  Even  if  he  is  a  black 
man,  and  you  are  a  white  man,  and  he  is  in 
trouble — trouble  washes  all  skins  alike — 
help  him  ! — Morning  Sermon,  October  16, 
1859. 


I 


TELL  you  it  takes  very  poor  material 
to   make   a   modern   conscience.      A  Washington 
man   goes    to   Washington,    for    instance,  respeLbie 

.    ,  .  1        meannesses 

simple,  pure,  honest  and  right-meanmg :  he 
dwells  there  a  year  or  two,  and  comes  back 
home  a  drinking,  corrupted,  bribed  man, 
lost  to  all  industry,  to  all  self-respect- 
given  over  to  himself  to  get  a  living  by 
respe6lable  meannesses. — Evenhig  Sermoii, 
May  15,  1859. 

YOU    cannot    imagine   what    a   waste- 
basket  the  future  is.     How  things 
will  accumulate  on  your  table  and  along 
319 


570  Pulpit    Pungencies  572 

your  way,  if  you  have  no  heaven  to  throw 
them  into  !   but  the  moment  a  man  has  the 

The 

eternal     vast   sweeD  of  the   eternal   world   for    his 

Waste-  .  ^ 

basket  depository,  how  will  his  troubles  be  alleviat- 
ed or  destroyed  by  his  looking  at  every 
part  of  his  life  as  relative  to  that ! — Morn- 
ing Sermon y  March  11,  i860. 


A     GREAT  many  men  are  addi6led   to 
-^-^      much  lugubrious   soliloquizing   and 

A.  Wjitcli 

to  steer  Complaining  about  this  unsatisfying  world  ; 
by  but  whether  it  is  satisfying  or  not  depends 
upon  what  men  try  to  satisfy  themselves 
with.  If  a  man  were  to  take  a  watch  and 
try  to  use  it  as  a  compass,  to  steer  a  ship 
by,  he  would  say  :  How  unsatisfying  this 
watch  is  ! — Morning  Sermoiiy  March  1 1, 
i860. 


I 


T  is  a  man  dying  with  his  harness  on 

Water-      "^       ^^^^    augcls   love   to   take.      I    hope 

tamts     those   old   water-logged    saints    that    died 

soaking  in  damp  stone  cells  were  taken  to 

heaven.     They  had  hell  enough  on   earth, 

and  it  would  be  a  pity  for  them  to  have 

320 


572  Pulpit  Pungencies  574 

a  continuation  of  it  in  the  other  world  ;  but 
I  think  they  were  the  poorest  of  all  human 
commodities  ever  taken  in  ! — Morning  Ser- 
mon, MarcJi  II,  i860. 

DO  you  ask,  "Why  is  it  that  while 
some  men  seem  to  be  caught  up 
almost  into  the  regions  of  heavenly  bliss,  I 
am  unmoved  ? "  It  is  because  you  are  ^°|s^f' 
water-logged,  sir !  Drop  by  drop,  your 
being  has  become  saturated  to  such  a  de- 
gree with  the  waters  of  worldliness,  that 
you  are  but  just  sustained,  while  they, 
buoyant,  are  carried  on  so  easily  ? — Even- 
ing Sermon,  Jannary  22,  i860. 


T 


HESE  smooth,  waxy  chara6lers,  that 
seem  to  come  up  without  any  posi- 


You  are 
Water- 


tiveness  of  bemo^,  who  seem  to  sail  through    smooth, 

^'  ^  Waxy 

life  as  feathers  sail  down  through  the  air,  characiers 
soft,  smooth,  and  carefully,  there  is  nothing 
to  get  hold  of  in  them  ;  they  slip  through 
our  affections,  and  we  don't  grasp  them 
with  power.  There  must  be  some  saliency, 
even  if  it  be  rugged  and  wrong.  There  is 
321 


God 
Went 
into  life 


Form, 


574  Ptilpit    Pungencies  576 

an  element  in  this  love  that  rouses  up  the 
heart  to  those  round  about  it  ;  so  that  I 
think  we  love  our  worst  children  some- 
times the  most.  —  Evening  Sermon,  July 
10,  1859. 

HE  was  declared  to  be  a  gluttonous 
man  and  a  drunkard.  God  in 
Christ  was  slandered  as  a  glutton  and  a 
drunkard  ;  and  for  no  other  reason  than 
that  he  refused  to  be  an  ascetic,  and  went 
into  life,  and  participated  in  the  innocent 
festivities  of  the  social  board. — Evening 
Sermon,  November  2,  1859. 


T' 


'HE  ways  of  looking  at  nature  are 
scientific — that  is,  we  look  at  it 
wtnot  nierely  in  the  order  of  cause  and  effe6l ;  or 
they  are  commercial — that  is,  we  look  at  it 
in  its  produ6live  qualities,  and  its  rela- 
tions to  human  wants,  and  with  reference 
to  what  we  can  make  out  of  it,  and  what  it 
can  avail  us  ;  or,  they  are  artistic — that  is, 
we  look  at  it  in  its  relations  to  the  sense  of 
symmetry  and  beauty  in  us,  in  respe6t  to 
322 


576  Pulpit  Pungencies  578 

form,  and  color,  and  what  not. — Mornmg 
Sermon,  July  10,  1859. 


I 


N  old  times,  when  men  were  persecuted 

for  their  religion,  they  had  nothing  to    prayand 
do  but  to  read  the  Bible,  and  pray,  and  be     %nT^  ' 

^  What  not 

burned,  and  what  not. — Morning  Sermon, 
September  18,  1859. 


What  under 
the  sun 
did  he 


THE  preaching  of  many  men  is  like 
children  creeping  in  the  sand.  Their 
sermons  contain  pretty  things,  perhaps, 
sweet  sentences,,  but  they  make  no  impres-  Pff^^^f, 
sion  upon  the  hearer.  There  are  fifty-two 
Sabbaths  in  the  year,  and  the  order  of  the 
church  has  been  that  there  shall  be  two 
sermons  preached  each  Sabbath — one  in 
the  morning,  and  one  in  the  afternoon — no 
matter  whether  a  man  wants  to  preach 
them  or  not.  Many  men  preach  twice  each 
Sunday  for  this  reason,  and  no  other.  If 
asked,  "What  do  you  preach  for.?"  they 
say,  "  Because  I  must."  "  Why  must  you  t  " 
"  Because  I  am  expe6led  to."  They  do  not 
preach  because  they  have  anything  to  say ; 
323 


57^  Pulpit  Pungencies  579 

not  because  there  are  prevailing  errors  to 
be  overthrown  ;  not  because  there  are  bud- 

"W'hat  under    ,.  -     ,       .  ,  i      i     .  i  i 

the  sun     dmofs  01  dcsirc  to  be  expanded  into   blos- 

did  he  '^  ^ 

preach  soHis  ;  not  bccausc  of  any  sympathy  they 
feel  for  the  erring  and  the  lost ;  not  because 
they  feel,  "  Woe  is  me  if  I  preach  not  the 
Gospel ; "  but  they  preach  because  it  is 
Sunday,  and  they  have  got  to.  When  Sun- 
day comes  round,  such  a  preacher  says  to 
himself,  "  What  under  the  sun  shall  I  preach 
about  ? "  and  the  people,  after  they  have 
heard  him,  say,  "  What  under  the  sun  did 
he  preach  about  ?  "  —  Morning  Sermoitj 
yaimary  30,  1859. 


A  FATHER,  when  he  whips  his  boy, 
does   not  like  to  whip  him  through 
his  clothes,  because  the  boy  may  cry,  and 
does  not    make  a  great  ado,  and  yet  not  be  hurt  at 

Whip  men  ^  '  -' 

thei?cSt   ^^'       ^^^^  i^  ^^^^  father  whips  him  on  his 

and  vest    \^^^^  skiu,  hc  knows  that  he  is  punishing 

him.     God   does    not   whip    men    through 

their   coat   and   vest.  —  Morning   SermoUy 

February  29,  i860. 

324 


God 


Wallc  me 

and 

Whisk 

me  and 


580  Pttlpil  Pungencies  581 

T  T  OW  many  times,  as   you  go   up  and 

^  ^      down  Broadway  with  me,  can  you 

stop  me  when  you  see  a  man  of  whom  you 

can  say,  "  This  man,  I  think,  is  without  sin, 

111-1  f  set  me 

measured  by  this  law  of  benevolence  ?  "  ^0^™ 
You  would  walk  me  down  to  Union  Square 
and  Canal  street,  and  I  should  not  stop 
there ;  then  down  to  Fulton  street,  and  I 
should  get  no  breathing  spell ;  thence 
down  to  Wall  street,  and  you  would  fairly 
run  by  that  time  from  there  to  the  Battery, 
and  then  up  on  the  other  side,  and  you 
would  whisk  me  through  street  after  street 
and  set  me  down  at  Union  Square  again 
without  having  given  me  one  single  second 
to  stop  and  say,  "  There  is  a  man  without 
sin  !  " — Evening  Sermoii,  May  22,  1859. 

^  I  ^HE   private   rights    of  a   public   man 
-^       should  be  guarded  as  sacredly  as  the 

■  ■'  Whether 

altar  of  a  temple.     If  the  President  of  the    ^  ^¥, 

■^  President 

United   States  pursues  an  inhuman  course    wSey 
towards   the  Indian  ;  if  he   transgress   the 
canons  of  liberty  which  he  is  sworn  to  de- 
fend ;  if  he  wink  at  evils  which  he  is  bound 
325 


581  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  582 

to  prevent  or  suppress,  he  deserves  severe 

public    rebuke.      But   in   his    own    private 

the       home,  whether  he  manages  his    individual 

President 

Whfk^  affairs  with  economy  or  stinginess,  whether 
he  drinks  whiskey  at  his  table,  or  nothing 
but  cold  water,  whether  he  dresses  well  or 
ill,  talks  much  or  little,  spends  his  income 
in  one  way  or  another — these  and  all  such- 
like things  do  not  belong  to  him  as  Pre- 
sident, but  as  a  private  man,  and  are 
sacred  from  remark.  For  good  morals 
every  man  may  be  held  responsible.  There 
ought  to  be  but  one  key  to  a  man's  privacy, 
and  that  is  in  his  own  hands  ;  but  the  devil 
has  given  everybody  a  key  to  it,  and  every- 
body goes  in  and  out  and  filches  whatever 
he  pleases. — Morittjzg  Sermon,  October  16, 
1859. 


Black  and      Jj 


BECAUSE  a  man  happens  to  be  black, 
„wx.c  I  do   not  think  he  has  more  rights 

than  a  white  man. — Alorning  SermoUy  July 
16,  1859. 

326 


583  Ptdpii  Pimgenctes  584 


T 


HERE   are  men  that   seem  to    think 
they  would  suffer  wilHngly  if  they 


were  called  to  suffer  as  martyrs,  illustrious-    where  it 
ly.    Ah  !  that  is  just  the  thino^.    You  would       you 

•^  J  <j  Wince 

be  willing  to  be  placed  where  you  would  not 
have  to  suffer,  and  where  you  would  yet  get 
the  credit  of  suffering.  But  it  is  pinching 
suffering  that  God  calls  you  to  endure.  He 
knows  where  your  weakness  requires  that 
you  should  suffer,  and  there  he  makes  you 
suffer.  Like  a  driver,  he  puts  the  stroke 
of  the  lash  in  those  very  places  where  he 
knows  it  will  make  you  wince. — Morning 
Sermon,  February  19,  i860. 


I  have  seen  the  heaviest  establishments 
with  the  simplest  sign  over  the  door, 
while  a  petty  huckster  filled  his  windows 
with  about  every  article  in  the  shop  ;  and  I 
have  seen  persons  so  violently  indignant  at 
missteps  in  others,  that  I  suspe6led  that  all 
the  virtue  they  had  was  at  the  window  ! — 
Evening  Sermon,  February  12,  i860. 
327 


All  their 
virtue 
at  the 

Window 


etc. 


585  P^dpit   Pungencies  586 

T  F  the  cause  of  God  requires  the  exlst- 
-■-  ence  of  an  institution,  and  the  institu- 
tion requires  a  little  unfair  dealing  to  navi- 

Wipe 

their       o-ate  it  safely  amoncr  the  breakers,  you  will 

mouths,       *^  J  Q  '  y 

prl  S?  ^^^"^  ^^^^  rci^Xi  will  undertake  it,  and  will  do 
things  which,  if  done  in  their  every-day 
condu6l,  would  stamp  them  with  utter 
detestation  among  their  fellow-men.  Yet 
such  men  wipe  their  mouths,  say  long  pray- 
ers, sleep  with  a  good  conscience,  and  get 
up  in  the  expe6lation  of  being  received  into 
the  kingdom  of  God  the  Father.  I  hope 
they  will  be,  but  they  will  get  through  as 
by  fire. — Evening  Sermon,  May  15,  1859. 


T 


'HE  things  God  does  are  so  easy  that 
he    is  willing    to    do  them    once   a 
So  easy.     ^^^    ^j^^    ^^^^    round,  wiutcr    or    summer. 

to  Wipe    All    these    frescoings    of    the    sky   in   the 

out 

mornmg  and  the  evening,  before  which 
the  greatest  masters  might  sit  down  in 
despair,  God  seems  to  paint  with  his  left 
hand,  only  that  he  may  wipe  them  out  and 
renew  them  day  after  day. — Evening  Ser- 
mony  December  2^,  i859- 
328 


587  Pulpit   Pungencies  588 

IL  ^ /"HEN  the  child  grows,  it  grows  first 
*  ^  on  its  animal  nature  ;  next  in  its 
social  and  affeclional  nature  ;  next  in  its  iit?e°whches 
perceptive  intelle6lual  powers  ;  later  in  its 
refle^live  intelle6lual  powers  ;  and  latest  and 
last  in  its  moral  nature.  That  part  nearest 
the  ground,  which  is  the  animal,  grows 
first  ;  that  part  just  above  the  ground,  in 
which  the  affedlions  reside,  grows  next ; 
that  part  which  opens  the  understanding, 
grows  next ;  and  that  part  which  assimilates 
the  child  to  spiritual  beings,  grows  last. 
There  is  some  comfort  in  this,  when  you 
see  how  like  little  witches  your  children 
acl  sometimes.  You  think  they  are  cer- 
tainly bound  for  the  jail  or  the  gallows,  un- 
til there  comes  to  be  an  equilibration  be- 
tween the  moral  feelings  and  the  lower  pro- 
pensities. —  Morning  Sermon,  April  24, 
1859. 

ATOBODY  will    tell  you  these   things. 

^  ^       Even  your  pastor  won't.     I  would      Even 

rather  any  time  go   into  the   battle  -  field,     .  pastor 

^  ^  '        Won't 

unskilled  as  I  am  in  soldiery  ;  I  would  rather 
329 


588  Pulpit  Pungencies  590 

cut  off  a  man's  leg,  little  as  I  know  about 
surgery,  and  then  take  care  of  him,  than  to 
tell  a  person  his  faults.  I  think  to  charge 
one  of  the  batteries  of  Sevastopol  was  no 
more  than  it  is  to  charge  right  up  against  a 
man's  heart. — Moiiiing  Sermon^  March  27, 
1859. 


I 


REGARD  all  the  agitations  of  our  day 
as  being  so  many  plowings  which  are 
pfowings^  necessary  as  a  preparation  for  the  harvests 

of  the 

World-farm  that   are  to    wave   on    the   world  -  farm  — 
Thanksgiving  Seimon,  November  24,  1 860. 


D 


human 
race 


ID   you  ever  persuade  yourself,  of  a 
hot  afternoon,  to  stop  and  witness 
Vernacular  ^^^  coutcst  of  innumerable  worms   over  a 
carrion  carcass  ?      Did  you  ever  notice  the 
greediness,    and   selfishness,    and    quarrel- 
someness displayed  by  the  a6lors  in  a  scene 
like  that }     And  yet  such  a  contest  is  de- 
cent compared  with   the  gigantic    contest 
that  has  been  carried  on  for  thousands  of 
years   by    the   vermicular    human    race. — 
Morning  Sermon^  October  9,   1859. 
330 


591  Pulpit  Pwigencies  59, 


T 


HIS  Christian  love,  then,  is  to  be  the 
disposition.       It   is    not    to    be   the 


sweetmeat  and  confection  ;  it   is  to  be  the     asvour 


I 


THINK,  to  put  on  the  very  climax  and 
top    of    abomination    before    God,    it 
seems  as  though  there  was  a  certain  ele- 
331 


eves 


bread.  It  is  not  to  be  a  disposition  which,  are'wom 
once  in  a  great  while,  going  to  the  cabinet 
where  it  is  kept,  you  shall  take  out  of-  the 
casket,  allowing  it  to  shine  and  emit  all  its 
precious  rays.  It  is  to  be  a  disposition 
that  is  to  be  worn  as  your  eyes  are  worn. 
— Alorning  Servioii,  February  5,  i860. 

NOW,  when  you  wish  to  please  God, 
treat  him  as  one  who  feels  sorry  for 
sinners  ;  treat  him  as  one  who  longs  to  help  The 
those  that  need  help  ;  go  to  him  confiding- 
ly. No  matter  how  bad  you  are — the  worse 
the  better.  Old  Martin  Luther  said,  "  I 
bless  God  for  my  sins."  He  would  never 
have  had  such  a  sense  of  the  pardoning 
mercy  of  God,  if  he  had  not  himself  been 
sinful. — Morjimg  Sermon,  October  2"^,  1S59. 


Worse 

the 
better 


Wrap  a 

text 
round 
a  sin 


Zero 


593  Pulpit  Ptmgencies  595 

ment  of  piety  needed  to  make  it  particular- 
ly devilish.  Many  men  cover  up  these 
things  under  smooth,  round  words  ;  they 
wrap  a  text  around  a  sin,  and  so  do  utter 
abominations  before  God  under  the  mild 
phase  of  san6lity. — Evening  Sermon^  May 
15,  1859. 


T 


HERE  is  a  car  on  that  line,  bearing 
the  inscription — not  so  much  to  ad- 
written    vcrtisc  tlic  degradation  of  the  blacks  as  the 

down 

an  ass  inhumanity  of  the  whites — "  Colored  people 
may  ride  in  this."  I  laugh  when  I  see 
that.  I  think  to  myself,  "  The  men  who 
run  these  cars  are  after  the  pattern  of  one 
of  Shakspeare's  chara6ters,  who  cried  out, 
'  Oh,  that  I  were  written  down  an  ass  ! ' 
They  are  written  down  an  ass  !  " — Morning 
Sermon,  July  17,  1859. 


T'^  TE    are    at    zero  when  we  are  born, 
*  ^        and  we  rise  up  in  the  tube  of  life 
little  by  little. — Evening  Sermon,  October  9, 
1859. 

332 


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